Memories of Love
by Mizzdee
Summary: Bella Swan wants nothing more than to prepare for her future. After Edward Cullen moves to town he wants nothing more than Bella Swan. Will her painful past and his recent mistakes keep Bella from seeing the man Edward is? Can she let him in?
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, musical content, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Prologue**

We walked hand in hand through the sand at the reservoir. A breeze was blowing my hair around my face as I turned to look at the water. The setting sun cast an orange glow over the horizon.

I felt Edward step behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder. His breath tickled my neck as he spoke. "The beauty before me pales in comparison to the beauty that I hold in my arms." He placed a soft kiss on my neck just below my ear.

I shivered from the sensation his breath was causing in my body. The electricity that was always present when he touched me and the tingles that coursed through my body as he kissed me were an indescribable feeling that had me melting back further into his embrace.

"Edward."

"Yes my love."

"Thank you for today. You've taken the sadness away and replaced it with new loving memories."

"I never want you to have a single day of sadness. My beautiful Bella," he said in a tone of reverence, "I will spend every day making you happy."

He kissed me as the sun went down. The passion in that kiss left us breathless again as most of our kisses do. Unfortunately, the day had to come to an end. It was time to go.

* * *

We pulled up in front of my house and Edward walked me to my door. I didn't want to let him go yet. "Will you come in with me for a while?" I asked thinking he would say no. Edward never came in when my dad wasn't home out of respect for him.

I was shocked when he nodded. Every time Charlie was gone Edward's old-fashioned upbringing had him giving me a kiss on my doorstep before he said goodbye.

I unlocked the door and we walked in together. We went straight to the living room and sat on the couch. I leaned into him and he wrapped his arms around me while I laid my head on his chest. I could tell he was nervous about being here by his racing heartbeat.

I looked up to see his face and the intensity in his eyes drew me in. I leaned up to kiss him. Our lips met in a sweet kiss. It changed fast and became one full of passion and wanting.

I don't know how it happened but I ended up on my back with Edward lying half on top of me. His hand was rubbing my stomach just under the hem of my shirt while our kissing became even more urgent. He dropped his head to kiss my neck. I gasped for air once my lips were free.

His hand started to drift upward along my ribs and brushed the bottom of my breast.

"Bella." Edward said my name between kisses. "We shouldn't..."

"Don't stop Edward." I was breathing heavy and my words were no louder than a whisper.

He pulled back a little to look into my eyes. "I don't want to stop." He was breathing just as hard as I was. "We shouldn't do this here."

I stroked his cheek. "Come up with me?"

"Are you sure?"

"I love you Edward. I'm sure."

I opened my bedroom door and saw a blinding white light.

* * *

"Bella, wake up. Bella. We almost there." Alice's hand was shaking my shoulder from behind me.

Once I regained my senses enough to realize I was in the car, I looked over to the driver. Rosalie laughed at me. "Well hello there. You were dead to the world there for a while. I didn't know if you were ever going to get up."

"Where's Edward?" I was confused.

"Edward?" Rosalie asked as she shot Alice a look in the rearview mirror. "Why…why would Edward be here?"

"I was just with him." This was strange. How did I end up with Alice and Rosalie?

"Bella the guys are in the car behind us." Alice told me as I watched her and Rosalie continue to exchange odd looks between them. Alice sounded nervous as she said her next statement. "But, honey, you don't even like Edward. Why would he be here?"

"Never mind."

It was so real. I could feel his arms around me. I could feel the kisses we shared. It's been months now and I can't get Edward out of my mind. Rosalie's right though. We fight all the time and I don't want him around me…or Jacob. But when I sleep, I can't get him out of my head. What is happening to me?

**A/N: Thanks for reading. Please leave me a review...good or bad...they are appreciated.**


	2. A New Beginning

******Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, musical content, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**A New Beginning**

**BPOV**

_Three more days! I can't believe it's finally here. I'm about to start high school._

I kept saying these words to myself. I was pacing in the middle of my room too keyed up to sit still. I've been excited since the day of registration and I saw the potential of the classes offered, I couldn't reign in my enthusiasm. I know most people don't get this excited over the classes they get to take in high school but this is going to open so many new doors for my future…and for me.

I've been waiting forever to get here. Not only will I be able to explore different options that my future career could take, it signifies that I'm finally growing up. Okay fourteen can hardly be called "grown up" in anyone's eyes but there's something about knowing you only have four years left of school before moving away from home to make you feel just that much older.

Your freshman year is supposed to be the worst since you start out at the bottom of the totem pole but I think it is going to be great. Girls usually have it easier than boys do anyway and I think I'm better off than most because I have Alice.

Alice Brandon and I have been best friends since we were five years old. We've been through everything together. We're more like sisters than friends and we'll often refer to ourselves that way. She is the perfect compliment to everything about me. Alice is beautiful with her short, spiky black hair, vibrant green eyes and flawless complexion. She's a tiny little thing, almost pixie like, and she's bubbly and outgoing. She can make friends without even trying.

I, on the other hand, am none of those things. I am average in every way. While I'm taller than Alice, I'm only five feet four inches tall. I have plain, straight brown hair, boring, dull brown eyes and pale, almost translucent, skin. I am nowhere near beautiful. Alice tries to tell me that I am but I just don't see it. Also unlike Alice, I'm shy and reserved and prefer to be either alone or in her company.

I heard three short little knocks on my bedroom door. Speak of the Devil. Before I could say 'come in', Alice ran in and launched herself onto my bed. I stopped my pacing and sat down next to her on the bed to join in on her enthusiasm.

"I can't believe we start high school in three days!" she squealed. To say she was excited would be an understatement. She was about to jump out of her skin.

Alice was excited about starting school for a _very_ different reason than I was. Where I was excited about the classes, Alice was looking forward to meeting the cute boys that went to the other schools around town. With Alice it was one of two things…clothes or boys. Don't get me wrong; Alice is a very good student. Schoolwork comes easy to her and she always has high grades but they were never her priority.

She has been waiting for high school. Our town is big enough that the student population had to be divided into three different middle schools. Then when the students reached the high school level, they merge into one class to attend a single high school. We've spent three years in middle school with the same kids and Alice needs some fresh faces to interact with.

"Yeah its about time," I laughed as she almost bounced me off of the bed. I was just as excited as she was I think but I wasn't jumping around like her.

"You have your clothes picked out yet?" she asked. "You know that's the most important part."

Clothing choices were another area where we were different. Alice's family had money so she always had the best designer clothes that fit her keen fashion sense. I was more than comfortable in plain jeans and T-shirts. This fact caused her to try to make me over almost daily.

"Come on Alice. You know what I'm going to wear," I said for the hundredth time. "These dark blue jeans with my navy blue…"

She almost passed out when I pointed to the clothes sitting on my rocking chair. "You can't wear those." She sounded almost disgusted. "It's the first day. You have to make an impression. What happened to that dress you bought when we were out shopping last week?"

"Whom exactly am I supposed to be making an impression on?" I knew better than to ask because I knew the answer I was going to get. She hasn't been able to talk about anything else lately.

"Are you serious Bella?" I was ready to pick her up off the floor if she got any more dramatic. "This is high school. We're going to school with all the other kids from the different schools around town now."

"Don't you mean all the other _boys_?" I teased her.

"No." She tried to tease back but she was way to hyper for that. "Okay yes. You have to make an impression on the boys Bella otherwise you'll never get a boyfriend. Any guy would be crazy to pass you up if they saw you in that dress."

"Alice I don't want to talk about this again. I'm not interested in the boys right now and I certainly don't want a boyfriend." Why do our conversations always have to end up on the same subject?

"Get off it Bella. You went to that soccer game with me last year. You saw how gorgeous some of those guys were."

"I really wasn't paying attention. I just went because you dragged me there."

"You know you saw them. I even pointed out that one with the blonde hair. He was sooo cute." She was in her daydream again.

Alice saw that boy last year and hasn't been able to get her mind off of him. She has been waiting all year to meet him. She already had their relationship planned out. If she didn't watch out he would think she was a crazy person or a stalker…one of the two.

"Alice, wake up. What if he doesn't even go to that school anymore?" I had to drag her back down to reality otherwise we'd never have a decent conversation.

"He does. I just know it. I'll be able to see him again in three days." She was so keyed up now that she was on her knees bouncing up and down on the bed again. Then a thought occurred to her and she stopped and turned back to me. "I bet he has good looking friends," she said with a wink and a twinkle in her eye.

"Oh no!" I should have seen that one coming.

"Bella…"

"No Alice. I'm going to be busy with schoolwork. I don't need to worry about boys." I've told her this so many times. She was always trying to find me a boyfriend but I just wasn't ready for that. She knew better than anyone that I've had enough problems in that area of my life and I am fine to stay by myself for now.

"Man, you're such an old lady Bella," she said as she rolled her eyes at me. "I should just go out and buy you a couple of cats right now."

"Whatever." I was laughing hard now.

We sat around the rest of the afternoon talking about the classes we were going to take and how different this was going to be from middle school. Luckily we would be together half of the day because we had three of our five general classes together.

During the conversation, she put the outfit that I planned to wear back into my closet. She was going to dress me whether I liked it or not so I just gave in and let her. I knew better than to argue with Alice about clothes. She pulled out the dress that she insisted I wear. It was a cute dress and actually kind of perfect for me. It looked like I was wearing a white tank top and a light grey strapless dress together but it was sewn together perfectly to make it a one-piece, simple dress.

As five o'clock came around I got up off the bed with Alice following right behind me and we made our way down to the kitchen to make dinner for my dad. Charlie worked as an officer in the Denver Police Department. He worked hard for us since my mom passed away a couple of years ago and his job really stressed him out sometimes. Because he worked so hard, I always felt like I owed it to him to keep the house running in perfect order so all he had to do was relax when he came home.

"You're staying for dinner right?" I called to Alice when she sat in the chair behind me. It wasn't a question so much as a statement. She spent most of her nights at my house for dinner.

"Of course. My mom and dad are at a benefit dinner tonight so I'm staying with you."

Alice's parents were always at some fundraiser or benefit dinner. They were very influential in the community so they got invitations to every function that high society had to offer. So they weren't around much.

This is how Alice and I met and became such good friends. Charlie and my mom were friends with the Brandons. They always asked my parents to keep Alice for them when we were little as they attended their various functions. She was around so much that now she was just a part of the family.

I decided to make spaghetti for dinner just because it was simple and didn't take very long. I spent more time in my room than I should have and I only had an hour before Charlie came home. I always had dinner ready for him when he got here so tonight I didn't have time for anything else.

Alice and I moved around in the kitchen as a perfect team. She usually helped me with dinner and we were able to get everything done in no time. I was just setting the table when I heard my dad's car pull up into the driveway.

He stomped through the door so I knew it had been a bad day. He hung up his jacket and pulled his boots off before coming to the kitchen. He fell into his chair ready to eat.

"Hi dad," I said as he walked in.

"Hi Charlie," Alice said right after me.

"Hey girls. What's for dinner?" he asked and I could hear the exhaustion in his voice.

"Spaghetti with meatballs and a salad," I told him as I handed him a beer to drink with dinner.

"Sounds good. I'm beat. After dinner I think I'm just going to head up to bed," he said as he rubbed his eyes with the backs of his hands.

Wow…he must have really had a bad day. There was a big basketball game on tonight between the Nuggets and the Lakers and Charlie has been waiting for it all week.

Alice and I looked at each other with the same worried expression. "Is everything okay dad?" I had to ask. This just wasn't like him. "Did work go okay today?"

"Yeah work was okay. They gave me a new partner today," he said with an angry tone, "and he caused me some problems. They just don't train them like they used to. They're just a bunch of cocky kids that have chips on their shoulders and something to prove. Now I have a meeting with the chief on Monday. I'm not looking forward to it."

He didn't say anymore. He dove into his dinner with the intent of finishing as soon as possible.

"Do you want us to record the game for you tonight?" Alice asked. She was just as concerned as I was. "I know it's a big one and you don't want to miss it."

"Alice, honey, that would be great." Charlie smiled at her.

Alice was a sports fan too and she was always able to talk sports with my dad. He was always grateful that someone in the house was able to have a decent conversation about lay-ups and touchdowns. I was also thankful that she was here for that. I was never into sports and I had no desire to watch a game or engage in a conversation about a game.

Charlie was quiet while we finished dinner. I was worried about him but, just like me, he wouldn't talk about his problems with anyone. He preferred to handle them himself. Alice and I just chatted quietly while we ate. We didn't really talk about anything important. It was a normal night for us.

Alice and I worked as a team again to clean up the kitchen when we were all done and headed back up to my room where Alice was telling me, for the millionth time, about how she was planning to meet the blonde. Honestly, I've never seen someone so obsessed over a person they've never met before.

"Okay so I decided that I'm just going to keep it simple. I'm going to find out what time the soccer practices are and I'm going to watch. He would have to be there don't you think?" She was asking like I had a clue.

I shrugged. "If he's still into soccer, sure I would expect him to be there."

"Then if I hang around often enough he would have to notice me right?" I smiled a little when I thought about that. Alice doesn't wait to be noticed. She finds a way to make her presence known and, unless this guy is blind, he'll notice.

"So are you going to talk to him or are you going to make him come to you?" I asked even though I knew the answer.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," she clicked her tongue at me when she said this, "of course I'm going to make him work for it. This…" she gestured to herself, "does not come easy. He's going to have to work to love me."

I couldn't stop the hysterical laughter that burst out of me when she said that one. She definitely was confident in her ability to make this boy fall in love with her. Of course, when Alice wants something she will do what it takes to get it and, right now, the blonde was all she wanted.

"Oh…are we talking love now?"

"Of course. He _is_ going to fall in love with me. I just know it." She had thoroughly convinced herself that this was going to happen.

"And if he doesn't?" I had to play the devil's advocate now to try to keep her in check.

"Not an option." She said in her matter of fact tone.

We were both laughing again. "But…" I started to say when my text message alert on my phone told me I had a message. I picked it up and read the message without thinking about who it could be from. And just like that…the laughter was over.

My face fell. I can't keep letting him get to me. I have to just move on and be done with this.

"Jacob?" Alice asked with a look of concern on her face. She knew the look I would get whenever I would get a call or text from him.

I simply nodded because I didn't want to speak at that moment. I handed her the phone so she could see what he wrote.

**_Can't wait to see you again in school on Monday. It's been too long. I love you…J_**

"That's low." Alice's eyes narrowed in anger. "Is he seriously starting this crap again?" Alice said with a small growl in her voice. She was definitely not Jacob Black's biggest fan.

"I've been getting at least one message a day from him saying that he can't wait to see me." The pain in my voice sparked Alice's rage.

"After everything he did to you, I can't believe you still talk to him!" She wanted to yell at me. She probably would have if Charlie wasn't sleeping.

"It's not that easy to let go." Damn this hurt. I can't believe I still let him have this hold over me.

"Bella!" she huffed. "He has done this at least six times in less than a year. You have to just tell him to stop and leave you alone. You're not doing yourself any favors by hanging on to him."

"I know that. But, Alice, at some point during it all, I fell for him. I can't shut that off. He's always in the back of my mind."

"_He_ doesn't deserve your time." She was fiercely protective of me where Jacob was concerned. She was always trying to get me to see who he really was but my heart worked against my head every time.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." I was done so I quickly changed the subject back to something I knew would distract her. "So what heart-stopping outfit are you going to wear to school on Monday? It better be good for hunting." I forced a smile and a slight laugh when she looked confused.

"Hunting?" I think she was questioning my sanity at this point.

"Yeah you're hunting for blondes right?" With that the hysterical laughter started again.

"You are seriously unbalanced Swan." She just shook her head at me.

"But would you love me if I was any other way?"

We spent the rest of the night listening to music, singing and laughing together. Alice spent most of the weekend with me. Our conversations kept switching back to the blonde as Alice refined her plans to 'casually' bump into him…and she called me unbalanced.

The rest of the weekend was uneventful. All the excitement for the first day of school was building and by Sunday night I was unable to sleep. I sat up for a while reading my very worn out copy of Romeo and Juliet.

I always thought it was a little funny. I loved the story but in reality there would never be a love story like that. Today's male population just didn't value love the way they did in earlier centuries. That's probably why I could care less whether I found a boyfriend or not…I would always compare the fantasy to reality. Finally, I drifted off to sleep dreaming of a world where Romeo was real.

**A/N: Remember I would love to hear from all of you. Anything you have to say is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.**


	3. The First Day

**********Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, musical content, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Author's Note: This chapter brings in some new characters. We also get to see a great moment between Charlie and Bella.**

**I hope you enjoy Bella's first day.**

**The First Day**

**BPOV**

It was way too early to be up for school but I was too anxious and I couldn't sleep any longer. I practically bounced my way into the shower as I started my day. Monday mornings aren't normally this happy because I don't get to sleep in but today was an exception.

I turned on the water and let it warm up a bit before getting in. I washed and conditioned my hair with my new strawberry scented shampoo. I took extra special care shaving because I was being forced to wear the dress to school today. I couldn't have any cuts showing.

I finished up and jumped out of the shower. I dried myself off and threw on a pair of flannel pajamas to wear while I got ready. Back in my room, I dried my hair with my towel as much as I could. I didn't want to blow dry it too early and risk waking up Charlie but, if I didn't, it would take me that much longer to straighten it out. Sure enough, after my hair was dry and straight, I heard a knock at my door.

"You're up early," Charlie said with a small laugh as he slowly cracked my door open poking his head in. "Got big plans today?"

"Very funny dad." I rolled my eyes at him. He's never been really good at telling jokes. He's too serious all the time. "I'm too wound up to stay in bed anymore."

He shuffled in to stand next to my vanity table where I was getting ready. "So, today's the big day huh. High school." I looked up when I heard his sigh. "You're mom would have loved to be here to help you get ready. I hate that I can't do the 'girl stuff' with you that she would have."

Charlie always felt guilty that he and I didn't do things together like my mom and me. He wasn't one to spend the day doing 'girl stuff' as he calls it. When mom got sick they had long talks about the things I liked to do so that he wasn't completely unprepared to step into her role. He never told me that they had these talks; mom did. My mom told me so I would know that he was trying and not to give him too hard a time with everything.

After she died, he had to really adjust to make sure he took care of me the way she would have. While he was rough around the edges, he worked his way into the single parent role to give me what I needed to get through my life without her. I loved him so much for it.

"I know dad." I reached my arm out to hug his waist. "She _is_ here with me." I glanced at the picture that sat just to my left. "Besides, you do a great job. I don't want for anything."

"Really Bells?" He asked not quite sure of himself.

"Absolutely. You're the best dad in the world." My smile beamed at him. There was no sarcasm in my statement. I couldn't ask for anyone better than my dad.

"Oh…I almost forgot. I have something for you to start your new year." His face brightened up and he dashed out of the room. I heard him shuffle through some papers in his room and then he was back. "I thought you could use this for your new year."

He handed me a new journal. My dad knew my love for writing and he tried to encourage that as much as he could. "Thanks dad. I needed a new one. The one I'm using now is almost full."

"I figured it would be after the summer with…" He left the sentence unfinished. He saw the trace of hurt cloud my expression.

"It's okay dad. I'm dealing with it." I forced the smile to return to my face.

"I'm sorry Bells. I just know you had a hard time and, well…" he was having a hard time talking about this, "he's going to be there today. I just don't want to see you hurt again."

"Well, since I know he's not switching schools I have to face this head on so I can get past it. I'll be fine." I pulled out my devilish grin. "Luckily I'll have Alice there with me all day. He won't come near me with her there." I laughed, "even though she is a foot shorter than him…she scares him." We both laughed at the thought of Jacob being afraid of little Alice.

"Okay, but you'll call me if you need anything right?" I was surprised by the gesture. My dad was taking a giant leap right now allowing me to call him if I have boy problems. The topic of boys is usually the one subject that Charlie Swan stayed _very_ far away from.

"Sure dad," I giggled as I envisioned a phone call full of stuttering and awkward silences.

"Okay, now how about breakfast? I can make you some bacon and eggs." Charlie was definitely not a cook but he could manage a basic breakfast.

"That sounds so good. I'll be down when I finish getting ready."

"Great. Chef Charlie is on the job." He grinned, gave me a half salute and he turned to head for the kitchen.

_Oh goodness. _I put my hand to my forehead. _He can be so embarrassing sometimes._

* * *

Twenty minutes later I made my way toward the smell of the bacon. He was still frying the eggs when I walked in so I started to set the table. I gave us each a glass of orange juice before I sat down and waited for my eggs to be done. I'm not used to being served so it was strange to have to sit and wait.

While I waited I reached over to my school bag and pulled out my class schedule to look it over one last time. Alice and I had separate classes to start the day. She went to math class first and I had science to deal with. We came back together for world history, English and gym before heading to lunch. After lunch we had a short study hall, which lasted about thirty minutes. Then we split again and went our separate ways for my math and her science classes. Our elective classes were at the end of the day.

Charlie put the plate of bacon and eggs in front of me effectively breaking my train of thought. "Mmmm this smells really good dad." I appreciated that he actually did this for me.

"Why don't you try it first?" He said doubtfully. He was always unsure about his cooking, which is why I usually cooked. However, his breakfast was absolutely delicious. You can't do too much to change the flavor of bacon and eggs but he somehow managed to create a dish that most restaurants would kill for.

"Please," I rolled my eyes as I took my first bite, "like you don't know that you make the best bacon and eggs in town."

He sat down with his own plate and tried not to smile at the compliment. He, of course, shifted the conversation away from himself. "So, is that your new schedule?"

"Yeah."

"Are you ready?"

"Of course. The general classes seem easy enough and I believe I made the right choices with my elective classes." I told him.

"What did you pick again?" He has already asked this question about five times since I registered but he didn't always remember the details.

"Well, because I'm still undecided about what I want to do after high school, I decided that I would try a variety of classes for the first two years." I knew I had to start off with the explanation otherwise I would end up having to give it to him after I told him what I picked.

Charlie grabbed the paper from me as I continued. "I chose journalism because you know I like to write and I've always envisioned myself as a writer for a major newspaper somewhere." The opportunity to write always brightened my spirits. "Also, students are encouraged to submit their writing to the editor of the school newspaper and it's very possible that something I hand in could get published. That would definitely help in the future."

"That would be nice." Charlie sounded interested. "But public speaking?" Charlie knew I hated talking in front of people I don't know.

"Well, I could also see myself pursuing a career as a lawyer, but I have a fear of speaking in front of people. So, I thought taking a public speaking class would be a step in the right direction. If I can get through this class and get rid of that fear being a lawyer might seem possible."

"That's great Bells. They are both very sensible choices." Charlie was always happy that I had a good head on my shoulders and I used logic when it came to making my decisions. "I'm proud of you kid."

"Thanks dad." I said as I got up to wash off my plate. I'm actually glad that I got up so early this morning because conversations like this rarely happened between us. We had a great father/daughter morning and I was sure another wouldn't come along for quite some time.

"Well I'm going to head upstairs to change. I'm meeting Alice to catch the bus in about fifteen minutes." On impulse, I leaned down a little and placed a kiss on his cheek before heading to my room. It's not something I would normally do because Charlie wasn't comfortable with displays of affection but we had such a good morning that I couldn't help myself.

In my room, I changed quickly and checked my hair to make sure I looked okay. I stepped into the bathroom to brush my teeth making sure all traces of my breakfast were gone. I put on a quick coat of lip gloss and heading downstairs to leave. I grabbed my bag and a light jacket just in case because, at the end of August, you had to be prepared for anything. I said a quick goodbye to my dad and I was out the door.

* * *

I was standing alone at the bus stop waiting for Alice. I was both nervous and excited for the day to start. I couldn't control the fidgeting completely as I shifted my weight from one foot to the other trying to hold myself in one place.

"Bella." I heard my name and my body froze. I knew in an instant who it was. Of course he would be here. He only lives two blocks away but I didn't expect him to show up alone.

_You can do this Bella. Just keep it together until Alice gets here._

I turned and tried to smile. It was a pretty pathetic attempt but he'd never notice. "Jacob…hi." Talking to him again face to face felt both wrong and right at the same time. "How was your summer?" _Please don't let him mention __**her**__._

"It was good. The school has already started practicing for soccer season. Me and the guys have been working out and practicing a lot to get ready."

With the mention of him working out, my eyes instantly traveled down his body. There was definitely improvement visible through the shirt he was wearing. His chest looked bigger and there was more muscle tone in his arms. When I looked back up I blushed because he caught me looking.

"Th-that's cool Jake. I know you guys will do well on the team." I didn't want to offer him any kind of praise but his skills on the field deserved it.

"Thanks Bella." He gave me an impossibly wide grin. "Hey, what are doing after…"

"Bella!"

_Yes…it's about time. _Alice calling my name stopped Jacob from finishing his sentence. He looked upset that she interrupted our conversation. "Talk to you later Jacob." I hurried over to Alice at the same time that I could hear Jacob's friends calling for his attention.

"Thank you." I whispered when I was standing next Alice. "What took you so long?"

"Can you tell me why you're talking to him?" I could hear the disgust in Alice's tone.

"We were the first ones here and I couldn't ignore him." It was a good excuse but not entirely true. Part of me still wanted Jacob in my life. I still cared about him a lot.

"Why not? After what he did…forget it." Alice waved her hand and let the subject go. She and I certainly don't see eye to eye when it comes to Jacob. "So, you look great. I told you that dress was the better choice didn't I." She was back to her bubbly self.

"Yes." I said as I rolled my eyes at her. I hated to agree and in my best sarcastic voice I added, "You were right again oh fashion goddess."

She gave me her smug smile. "And don't you ever forget it."

I could see the bus coming down the street. "What do you say to sitting around the middle? You know Jacob and his friends are going to take the back."

"That's fine. You're not going to talk to him anyway so it doesn't really matter where we sit." Alice said in a matter-of-fact tone.

I just rolled my eyes at her again. I'm not going to get into it. As she turned her back to get in line for the bus I checked the text message that I felt come in while we were talking. I knew it was Jacob and I knew it was stupid to look but I couldn't stop myself.

**You look amazing doll. I hope we can talk later. I love you…J**

I could feel my heart break again. I wanted to throw my phone into his damn head. How can he honestly tell me he loves me when we both know he doesn't?

**There's nothing to talk about…B**

I had to wipe my face clean of emotion before Alice turned around and caught me. My first instinct was to tell her but I knew how she would react so I kept this one to myself.

We were the last two to get on the bus and I kept my eyes down as we made our way to our seats. I didn't even want to look in his direction. I could tell by the laughter and teasing from his friends that they expected me to.

The twenty-minute ride to the school seemed to fly by. Before I knew it, we were getting off the bus and heading to our lockers. I looked over at Alice and she seemed distracted.

"What's up with you Brandon?" I asked.

"Do you see him yet?"

"Who?" I was lost.

"Oh you know who I'm looking for." Right…him again.

"Alice," I laughed, "we just got here and we are about thirty feet from the front doors. This is a big school. Do you really expect to find him that easily?" She was so cute as she tried to stand on her toes and look through the mass of students. When you're not even five feet tall there is nothing you can do to see over anyone in a crowd. I half expected her to start jumping up and down to give herself a better view but she contained herself…barely.

"Just keep your eyes open for him." She ordered as she spun to face her locker looking a little defeated. She drifted off into her own little world again.

She sounded like a crazy person but I just have to humor her and she'll be fine. "Whatever you say Alice."

* * *

The first half of the day passed by at a snail's pace. Every teacher handed out a syllabus and gave their required lecture on the expectations they each had for this semester. All the assignments looked pretty straightforward. There didn't seem to be anything that would give me too much trouble.

After putting our books away, Alice and I headed to lunch. The cafeteria wasn't too crowded yet but we knew that wasn't going to last. The freshman and sophomore classes had their lunch together so the place was going to fill up fast.

The cafeteria looked kind of like the food court at the mall. There was a salad bar, a grill where you could pick up a hamburger and an area where you can get a slice of pizza if you wished. I loved variety so this set up was perfect. Charlie knew what to expect and he gave me enough money to last the week. Alice and I headed straight for the pizza. A slice of pepperoni would be heaven right now.

While we were in line the room started to fill up. We found a table near the back of the room. Alice wanted the best view of every table. She was half standing half sitting in her chair as she strained her neck to look around.

"Alice, look over there." I directed her attention to the salad bar.

"Did you see him?" she asked excitedly as she jumped to her feet.

"A blonde, yes, but not the one you're looking for." I chuckled as she sat and slumped in her seat. "That girl is in my science class. Rosalie…something, I can't remember. She's supposed to be some kind of genius in physics." I shook my head as I told Alice who she was. "It's so unfair that someone that beautiful can have the brains too."

"Bella, did you look in the mirror this morning? Have you seen the way the guys are looking at you today? You can't tell me you're not beautiful and you have the brains too. You've gotten near straight A's since I met you." Alice always hated when I didn't give myself enough credit. I shrugged. "I keep telling you and one of these days I'll get you to believe me."

I simply ignored her. I have always let her believe her little delusions about me…smart, yes…beautiful, not even close. "Huh…I wonder why she's sitting alone. You would think she'd have a ton of friends or boys rushing to sit with her."

True to form, Alice jumped out of her seat and walked up to the blonde girl. She talked to her for a minute before they were both laughing. In no time they were walking back to our table together. Leave it up to Alice to make a fast friend.

"Bella, this is Rosalie…Rosalie Hale." Alice introduced us as she motioned for Rosalie to sit down. "Rosalie, this is Bella Swan."

"Yeah…hi. We have first period science together." I gave her the most inviting smile I could to let her know that she was welcome to sit with us.

"Hello. I thought you looked familiar." Rosalie said as the recognition set in. "Sorry I get completely absorbed when I get anywhere near a science lab."

"You're a genius in science I hear so that's understandable." I made a comment to the rumor I heard about the beautiful blonde.

She was even more devastatingly beautiful this close up. Her hair had the look of silk and her face was perfectly sculpted with flawless cream-colored skin. Her blue eyes were the color of the clearest ocean and her lips were a delicate pink that softened her features just right. It was like the goddess Aphrodite took human form and settled herself into our little school. Every female ego in the school took a massive hit today because this beautiful girl walked through the doors.

"Uhg…I hate when people call me that." She was actually pouting and, believe it or not, the pout enhanced her beauty.

"I'm sorry." The look on her face made me realize what a dumbass comment that was to make. I felt the need to explain. "The girl sitting next to me this morning was talking about you and that's what stuck in my head."

"That's okay. I'm kind of used to it." She accepted my apology and continued. "I love anything scientific and it's a field that's interested me since I was a little girl. It's the only thing I'm really good at. The other kids have always hated me for it because I'm constantly ruining the grading curve."

"Well, you two are going to have fun this year aren't you." Alice chimed in with a chuckle.

"What does that mean?" Rosalie looked confused. I blushed. I knew what Alice was going to say.

"Bella has been ruining grading curves for the past three years." Alice's laughter grew in force. "You two are perfect for each other."

I could feel the blush deepen as I looked over to Rosalie. She was smiling at me and a devious smirk crossed her face.

"What do you say Bella, let's go ruin some curves this year." She winked at me.

We were all laughing now. "I'm in."

After the laughter died down Alice asked, "Okay Rosalie I have to know…where did you get your outfit from?" Of course Alice noticed the clothes.

"Oh! My mom took me shopping at Saks Fifth Avenue during our summer vacation." Rosalie said as she looked over her clothes.

"I should have guessed." Alice clapped her hands excitedly because she had someone to talk fashion with. "I saw that top on their online store a couple of months ago but I couldn't get it. I'm not allowed to buy clothes online." Alice's brow furrowed as she revealed the shopping restriction she was under.

"Why not?" Rosalie sounded surprised. "Online is the best way to buy since all the good shops are in L.A. and New York."

"I agree but my parents decided after my last online shopping binge that I would bankrupt them if they continued to let me do it." Alice pulled out her hurt look. "I've been banned from the credit cards until I can control my urges."

Rosalie and I just laughed. Alice got rid of the lost puppy look and laughed with us. The conversations through the rest of our lunch hour were just as light and easy. We got to know more about her and she took in all the information about us that we were able to share. Rosalie was definitely going to fit in with Alice and me. She was the piece that complimented us both. We were going to be great friends.

* * *

I finally came upon the time of day that I had been waiting for. I walked into my journalism class. I recognized a couple faces but most were strangers to me. To my great relief I noticed Angela Weber sitting in a desk by the windows. Angela was a quiet girl a lot like me. We've been friends for years but we didn't hang out outside of school. I smiled and made my way to the empty desk next to her. Angela's face brightened as I sat down. She looked as thrilled to see me as I was to see her.

All I could say was a quick hello before the teacher, Mr. Collins, came into the room. He moved like a whirlwind immediately passing out papers and giving us our semester requirements.

"Okay class, I will call out the class roster one time only so I can put faces to the names. From that point on _you_ are responsible for your attendance. This is where you become the responsible adults that you are meant to be."

Wow…no nonsense with this man. I knew in that minute that I needed to be on my game to pass this class. He called out names quickly. I waited patiently for my name.

"Swan."

"Here." I answered and slightly raised my hand. He nodded to me and continued.

"Uley." From behind me a deeper voice answered. I whipped my head around. I hadn't noticed him when I came in. _Great just what I need._

Sam Uley was one of Jacob's best friends. They met when Sam moved to town about six years ago and joined the same soccer team that Jacob played on. Sam was nice enough and we were friends once but I placed a lot of the blame for what happened with Jacob squarely on his shoulders. I've resented him ever since. Now I'm stuck seeing him everyday for the next four months and I will be constantly reminded of Jacob every time I walk through the door.

Mr. Collins was finishing up with the class roster. "Weber." Angela answered next to me. "Whitlock." When he didn't get an answer he looked up and called again. "Whitlock." No one spoke. Mr. Collins looked to a couple of notes on his desk and mumbled to himself. "Oh…right then." He entered a note onto his clipboard before putting it down to address the class.

"Ladies and gentlemen the news waits for no one. You have to be in top form in this class and be ready to report a news story the first opportunity you get." He was quick and to the point; just the way I liked things to be. "Please know that any story submitted in this class deemed worthy enough to be included in the weekly newspaper will be used." I could hear some excited murmurs go through the room as he said this.

"I expect quality in your work. That means your work must have substantial research and is checked, rechecked and checked again for accuracy before handing it in." He started pacing back and forth in front of the desks. "No assignment will be accepted if it is handed in after the deadline. No Exceptions!"

He stopped pacing and faced us once more. "Each of you is required to submit two news stories per month. The due dates and suggested topics are in your syllabus." He turned his back, walked behind his desk and then faced us once more. "You are also required to submit one news story of your choosing. This assignment will be due at the end of the term. The specifications for this assignment are also listed in your syllabus." He made a quick motion with his hand to bring out attention back to the papers he handed out to start class. "This story will serve as your final exam as I do not give out tests. The best story handed in will be published in the first January edition of the school newspaper."

Angela and I looked at each other. Angela looked a little overwhelmed. I was excited. I was ready for this. This would be my major test to see if I could cut it in the real world with real deadlines and expectations. Mr. Collins seemed demanding but his job is to prepare us for what we are to face in the future. By demanding perfection and dedication in the beginning he is effectively weeding out those who will not make it in this profession without actually saying to someone 'you're not good enough'. I already admired the man.

After a brief pause, Mr. Collins spoke again. "Right then, if there aren't any questions, let's begin." He turned to the board and wrote a single word. "Plagiarism is the enemy of all writers." I turned my attention to listening and taking notes for the rest of the period.

* * *

My head was swimming with information as I walked into the room for my public speaking class. While journalism was going to be difficult, this was going to be my most challenging class. I hated being the center of attention and this class was going to thrust me right into that position.

I was a little early and had a few minutes to wait for class to start. I sat down in one of the desks in the front row. I put my head in my hands and took a couple of deep breaths to clear my head and get ready for what lay ahead of me. My phone buzzed.

**I love to look at those legs. Did I mention how good you looked today...J**

I stared at the screen for a second in surprise before sending my reply.

**You need to stop…B**

**Why? I can't take my eyes off them…J**

What? He is speaking in the present tense. I looked around me confused.

**Across the hall…J**

I looked through the door. He was in the room across from mine. The doors were at an angle from one another so he could see right into my room. He flashed me a huge grin. That was the grin that always made me catch my breath. I felt my heart soften towards him and I extended the olive branch to my friend.

**How's your day...B**

**Good. Nothing too bad. I decided to take swimming. It's going to be fun. How about u...J**

Swimming! Oh man would that be a sight to see...especially with those new muscles.

_Stop it Bella. Don't go there._

I shook my head and gave him my answer.

**Exciting. Journalism is going to be tough but that's it...B**

**Sam said he saw you there. You'll do great. You're an amazing writer...J**

I couldn't help but smile. This is the Jacob I knew. The loving sweet person that always knew the right thing to say to me. I really did miss him.

**You think so...B**

I smiled and glanced in his direction. I saw him smile and jump out of his chair. He jogged through the door of my room, leaned over me and kissed my cheek.

"I know you will." He jogged back to his room just as the bell rang to start class leaving me completely speechless.

* * *

**A/N I hope you enjoyed this. Again...let me know what you think (good or bad) it always helps.**


	4. My Boyfriend's Back

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, musical content, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

BPOV

I was in a daze. After everything that happened over the summer and the anger I had for him when this day started, with those four little words he brought it all back. And that kiss…sweet and innocent like they used to be. Jacob has always been good to me…when it was just me.

_Maybe they aren't together anymore._

I haven't seen her today but that isn't a big surprise with as big as this school is. I assumed this morning he was going to ask me what I was doing after his practice or dinner or something. And his text said that he wanted to talk to me. Maybe he didn't want her anymore and that's what he wanted to talk to me about.

_What if…? Stop! Don't get your hopes up Bella. This could be just like the last time._

What if Jacob wanted to be with me now? Would I do it? Could I do it? Am I willing to put myself in his line of fire again? I knew the potential of what this could cost me. I've been through it enough times and came out on the other side deeply hurt and not wanting to trust anyone. I thought about the sweeter side of Jacob that he just showed me again and I knew my answer.

My thoughts were completely consumed with Jacob. I didn't realize we were already near the end of the class period and I heard the teacher call my name.

"Miss Swan?" she asked sounding a little annoyed.

I shook my head to bring myself back to where I needed to be.

"Yes Mrs. Clark."

"It's your turn dear. Please." She motioned to the front of the room directing me to stand in front of the class.

I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing. I hadn't paid attention to a thing that went on around me after Jacob left. I looked at her completely lost and begged with my eyes for a clue.

She blew out a frustrated breath, "Please tell us briefly about you. You have a two minute time limit and your challenge is not to use the word 'um' a single time."

_Crap! What the hell am I going to say? I'm not ready for this._

I stood up and glanced over my shoulder and saw Jacob wink and nod at me. He was giving me courage to do what I needed to do. I'll take what I can get at this point.

"H-hello. My name is Isabella Swan but everyone calls me Bella." I stopped to clear my throat, which had gone instantly dry. "I'm fourteen years old and my father Charlie Swan works for the Denver police department." I felt a little more relaxed. That is until I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. "I… um… I am an only child and always wished for a b-brother or sister. My Alice…" I heard people laughing and had to correct myself. "I mean my best friend… um… Alice has taken up that role for me since we were little kids."

Mrs. Clark stood up. "Thank you Miss Swan. That was a good start."

I was thankful for the end to my humiliation…with the speech at least. Not only did I just make a fool of myself in front of the class, on my way back to my desk I tripped and fell into my seat. My phone buzzed again. Mrs. Clark was still at the back of the room so I risked a quick glance.

**You'll be great...J**

Wonderful. The text message that told me I would be fine was the one that made me look like an idiot.

**Nothing's changed I see…J**

_Asshole!_ Of course that was the second message that came in after he was able to see me trip and fall.

**You're an ass…B**

I shot him an evil look. His face looked sad and he mouthed 'I'm sorry' before his hand came to his lips and fanned out in my direction like he was blowing me a kiss.

I blushed and smiled. Okay he was forgiven.

I finally turned my full attention to Mrs. Clark as she wrapped up the class. "Well class not too bad for your first try. The first topic 'Removing the "Ums" and "Ahs" from your speech' is going to be extremely important after everything I've just heard. You have an assignment due at the end of the week and your main goal is to deliver the speech without the use of those two words." As the bell rang a minute later Mrs. Clark dismissed us with a reminder to read the assigned chapters for next class.

I got my bag and left the room as fast as I could to try to catch Jacob coming out of his class. I stood in the middle of the hall searching but he was already gone. I couldn't even see him walking away. It was almost as if he disappeared.

_Oh well. I'll see him at practice. I know Alice is still going to drag me there._

I started to walk back to my locker to put away the books that I didn't need to take home. I passed the journalism classroom and saw Rosalie standing there talking to Mr. Collins. I hung around outside and waited for her to finish thinking we can walk back to the common area together.

"Thank you Mr. Collins. I will let him know."

Rosalie walked out of the room and almost ran me over where I stood.

"Oh sorry." She looked down a little surprised. "Bella, what are you…" She began but stopped to apologize again. "I'm sorry. I didn't see you there."

"That's okay. I saw you in there with Mr. Collins and I decided to wait for you." I explained. I didn't mention that I was curious what she was doing in there since she didn't take that class.

"That was nice of you." She gave me her sweetest smile before explaining why she was here. "This was close to my last class so I stopped in to pick up all the papers that were handed out today."

"Why? You didn't mention this as one of your classes." I was confused.

"Its not. Writing is definitely not my forte." She giggled as she winked at me. "I was picking this up for my cousin. He's not going to be here for another week. So I'm doing what I can to make sure he doesn't fall behind."

"That's cool. It's a good thing he's got you to keep him on track." I wasn't surprised after she explained. It fit what little I learned about her character. She loved helping the people she cared about. Alice and I would do that kind of stuff for each other. After all, what are sisters for? "Why is he gone for so long? If you don't mind me asking of course."

"Its nothing serious." She waved it off. "He's playing in a tournament in California. He should be back here and in school by next Wednesday."

We got back to the common area where my locker was and we were met with a bouncing, ball of energy named Alice. She was practically vibrating with excitement ready to head off to soccer practice. Her plan to meet the blonde was still in effect.

"It's about time." She started to talk my ear off. "We have to hurry up. I want to see him running up and down that field." She tried to tug me down the hall.

"Gah Alice! Can you wait until I put my stuff away at least?" I looked to Rosalie for help. She just laughed at me.

"We don't want to miss anything." She was jumping up and down again.

"Alice the practice lasts two hours. We aren't missing anything." I looked back to our new friend who was now laughing her ass off at the crazy pixie. "Rosalie, are you busy right now? Do you want to come with us?" I was practically begging.

"Where are you going?" She barely got the question out.

"Soccer practice. Please, you can't leave me alone with this crazy person." I hoped my expression conveyed the desperation I felt silently begging her to say yes.

"Sure. I'm not getting picked up for another half hour or so. I can call and make it a little later." She looked at me and patted me on the shoulder in a gesture that said 'I got your back'.

* * *

We walked up to sit on the bleachers to watch the boys practice. As soon as I turned around and sat down the first person I noticed was Jacob. Of course he was here with his friends. What I wasn't prepared for was the sight of the boy moving around on the field without a shirt on.

"Holy Shit!"

My mouth dropped when I took in the sight of his new body. When he said he'd been working out he wasn't kidding. The muscles in his arms looked bigger than they did when I saw him this morning. His chest had the sculpted look of a person who lifted a lot of weights. And that stomach. He had a six-pack now.

_What would I have to do to touch that stomach? Oh my god and that chest._

Jacob was the goalie on the team. He's been playing that position since he was about ten and he was really good. It was his favorite position to play. He always said that, if he did his job right, he was always regarded as the hero in the game. Jacob loved to be acknowledged for how good he was. I don't want to say it like he was conceited because he wasn't but the praise boosted his game.

He just made a save and kicked the ball out of his end when his face turned to the bleachers right where we were sitting. He gave me that grin again and he did something I didn't think I would ever see again. He put his right hand over his heart and then extended it in my direction like an offering. Its something we used to do last year when we would see each other and weren't able to talk. He came up with it as our way to say 'I love you' from a distance. I sent it back out of habit.

"Oh hell no!" I heard Alice yell in my ear.

I was so caught up in the sight of him that I didn't even notice that she was watching my every move.

"Isabella Swan you are NOT doing this again." She was still yelling. "Not if I have anything to say about it."

"Do what?" I tried to play innocent. I knew it wouldn't work. I could feel the anger rolling off her in waves.

"What's going on?" Rosalie asked. We didn't mention this part of my life to her earlier at lunch.

"You see that guy over there? The goalie?" Alice asked with all the attitude she could manage as she pointed Jacob out to Rosalie.

"Yeah. He's pretty cute." Rosalie said without knowing that she almost caused Alice to turn her rage on her too.

"Cute my ass! Oh wait…no. He _is_ an ass!" Alice started to tell Rosalie about Jacob. "Bella had a thing for him last year and we _thought_ he felt it too."

"Thought?" Rosalie was confused.

"Yeah. That son of a bitch led her on for months and then broke her heart in a matter of minutes." Her hands were flailing around wildly and she explained what happened.

I sat back and listened to my best friend lay out my entire relationship with Jacob. It sounded so bad the way she was explaining it. I tried to step in. "It wasn't as bad as she's making it sound."

_Oops. Bella why can't you just keep your mouth shut?_

"Not that bad!" She was screaming again. "Bella you cried for weeks. You moped around all the time. You lost it." She turned back to Rosalie and continued. "Then what does smart one over here do?" She said as she jerked her thumb towards me. "She went back for more. It didn't matter that he broke her heart once. No…she had to keep going back letting him do it again and again."

Rosalie covered her mouth and her brow furrowed as she looked at me. I knew that look. "Bella, I'm so sorry for you."

"Don't be. I'm fine." Of course, now, it was just an act. With Alice's behavior and the fact that I had to sit and listen as she just told my whole story from start to finish, I was anything but fine. Now I just wanted to make my escape and get away from everything.

I got up and grabbed my bag. "I'm gonna take off. There's no reason for me to be here." I could hear the sadness in my voice as I said it and I'm sure they could too. I shot a look over to Jacob and I could see it in his face that he was angry about what just happened. He may have been on the field but, with Alice screaming her head off, he probably heard every word she said. Even if he didn't hear her, the wild hand movements and all the pointing in his direction would have been all the clues he needed.

I rubbed at one of my eyes that had started to tear up and ran down the steps heading for the exit. Thankfully I was able to get away without falling. That would be the last thing I needed after what just happened. I ran through the gate and into the parking lot before I heard their footsteps behind me.

"Bella wait!" Alice called trying to get me to stop. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get so mad."

_You can be sorry all you want Brandon. I don't want to listen anymore. _

I ignored her and kept going. I felt a hand on my shoulder giving me a gentle tug to make me stop. I turned around fully prepared to let Alice have it but it wasn't her. I was staring into a pair of deep blue eyes as Rosalie grabbed my hands.

"Bella, what just happened in there was wrong. I'm sure Alice just let her emotions get the better of her." Rosalie was trying to reason with me. She gave me a tissue so I could wipe away the tears that made their way down my cheeks. "Look I've known you two for all of three hours now and I can tell how much you care about each other. Can you really blame her for being so upset? After hearing what happened, I'm ready to go tear his head off." She lifted my chin and made me look her in the eye. "Alice only wants what's best for you. She doesn't want to see you get hurt again."

"I know that Rose." I agreed with her. I continued but this time with my eyes on Alice. "But some tact would be nice. She didn't have to make a scene."

Alice started to speak but Rosalie held her hand up to stop her. "Okay two things…first, Alice realized about a half a second after you ran away that she was wrong. She ran after you to apologize. Will you accept that?"

"Yes." Rosalie let me go as I made a move toward Alice. I wrapped her in my arms and gave her a big hug. I stepped away to look her in the eye and talk to her. "Alice, my best friend…my sister, I know you're sorry but you can't keep flying off the handle like that. I know you're worried about me but this has to be between me and Jacob."

"Bella I don't want to see you fall back into his games again. The last time it took almost the whole summer to pick the pieces back up again." She was holding my hands as she spoke. "I can't watch you go through that anymore."

"I get that Alice but you have to let me work this out. Yes, I keep doing the stupid thing by constantly getting involved with him. I know it in my head but my heart hasn't figured it out yet." I looked her right in the eye now so she could see that I was being completely serious. "I love him Ali. I know I shouldn't but I do. As long as those feelings are there it's a very good possibility that I could end up hurt again. Seeing him today after all this time brought everything back in full force. I'm doing my best to get over him but you have to give me space to do that. Will you please be the supportive best friend that I know you are and stand by me in whatever decision I make?"

She hugged me. "I'll stand by you Bells no matter what. You know I always will but I reserve the right to bitch and moan and scream and holler when you make stupid decisions." She slapped me on the back of my head to make her point. "I'll just do it in private next time."

I laughed and wiped the last of the tears away. "Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it." I hugged her again as the tension passed out of both of us.

Rosalie cleared her throat. "I hate to break up the love fest but my dad is here. Do you two want a ride home?"

"Sure." We both said at the same time and we laughed again. Rosalie turned and started walking towards the car.

"Wait. Rosalie, you said there were two things. What was the second one?" I asked as I remembered what she said to me.

"I was going to ask you how you knew that I liked to be called Rose. Rosalie is too stuffy for me." She winked at me and continued walking to her father's car with us right behind her.

* * *

I was sitting at the kitchen table stuffing the cheese mixture into the manicotti shells so I could get dinner in the oven. Charlie was going to be home in about half an hour and this was one of his favorite dishes.

I wanted to make dinner a little nicer tonight because I didn't know what kind of mood he was going to be in when he came home today after his meeting with the chief. I was curious what was happening with his new partner but, with Charlie, all I ever did was guess most of the time.

He didn't let me in on the details of his work very often. He always tried to shield me from the seriousness of his job. Before mom died he told her that he was afraid that something would happen at work and I could be left without both parents. He didn't want me to worry but, when I was old enough to understand what his job was like, the worry was always in my mind.

I think he knew my fears though and he always tried to get past that with the funny stories that he _could _share. I got to hear about a lot of the pranks the guys pulled on each other. One guy would always try to top the others with what they pulled and they were all constantly ganging up on Charlie to try to 'get him' as he would say. He would always come home and tell me that he could spot their set up a mile away. They have yet to get him to fall for one.

I like those nights. It takes some of the monotony out of our evenings. Now that school has started we're going to be back to our same old routine. We'll have dinner when he comes home. I'll clean up and then start my homework while Charlie finds his way to the couch to watch some game that happens to be on TV that night.

Most nights Alice will come over and hang out with me but tonight I wanted to focus on school stuff so I'm sitting here alone. I put the manicotti in the oven, grabbed my school bag and started pulling out my class information.

This was something I did at the start of every semester in school. I liked to be organized so that way nothing can surprise me and I made sure every assignment was done a little early so I didn't have to stress. I pulled out the folder that had the syllabus for each class and my calendar. I looked at the due dates for each assignment, counted back two days and entered it on the calendar. It didn't take me long because the only classes that had multiple assignments due in a week were math and English. The other classes had assignments due weekly which was nice.

Journalism was the exception. I had one story due in the middle of the month and one due at the end. I pushed these up on the calendar to have them due about four days early. Mr. Collins' voice played in my head "_that means your work must have substantial research and is checked, rechecked and checked again for accuracy before handing it in"_. Four days seemed like enough time to do all the rechecking and editing that needed to be done to hand in my best work.

I finished with my calendar and started to set the table. Charlie would be here any minute and dinner was just about finished. I took my things upstairs and laid them on my bed. I headed downstairs to pull dinner out of the oven when I heard a knock at the door.

"Just a minute." I yelled. I ran into the kitchen to take the food out so it wouldn't dry out from being overcooked. I hurried to the door and pulled it open.

"Jacob?"

_What the hell is he doing here?_

"Can I come in for a minute?" He looked a little depressed. My dad was going to be home any minute and he's still not really happy with Jacob. I had to think. "Please Bells."

I couldn't deny that face. "Sure Jake." I stepped aside and let him in. I closed the door and hesitated. _Breathe Bella…just breathe. _I let go of the door handle and turned around.

I was immediately caught in his arms. He was hugging me like it was the last time he would ever see me. I put my arms around him and rubbed his back. It felt good to be in his arms.

"Jacob what's wrong?" I knew the tension in his body and could tell that something was just not right about his mood.

"I'm sorry Bells." He squeezed a little tighter as he said this.

After a few seconds, I brought my hands to his sides to give me a little leverage to push away. I looked up at him and saw the regret in his eyes. I placed my hand on his cheek for comfort.

"What are you sorry for?" My question was almost a whisper. I didn't like seeing him in pain.

"I heard Alice yelling at you today. I saw her looking back and forth between me and the blonde girl and I knew what she was telling her." He dropped his head and continued. "When I saw you run away I knew it was because of me. Bella I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry about Alice. She gets a little too worked up sometimes."

"Maybe, but it's still my fault. I know I hurt you and I'm sorry for that. I need you in my life. I love you Bella."

_He loves me? Is this for real? Could we finally…?_

"You're one of my best friends. We can talk about anything and I know that, if I ever have a problem, you'll be there to keep me straight."

"You know I'll do anything for you Jake. I'm here for you if you want me to be." I couldn't turn him away. Jacob doesn't show this side of himself very often and I love that he could open up to me this way.

"Do you really mean that?" He looked at me then with hope in his eyes.

"Yes Jake. You know I love you too. Don't ever think, for one second, that you can't come to me for anything." He had to know he could count on me. I would always be there.

"Can I still call you?"

"Yes, of course."

"And text?" He got that grin back again.

"Yes…anything."

His smile grew impossibly wide and he wrapped me up in another tight hug. He actually lifted me off my feet a little. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Okay, okay put me down." I was laughing. This is the way we were supposed to be together. Our relationship was always light and fun.

"Alright. If I have to." He joked as he set me back on feet. He didn't release me completely. He only moved me a little so he was able to look at me. "I better go before Charlie gets here."

"Yeah that would probably be smart." I agreed with him.

He dipped down and kissed me on my cheek. "Okay Bells. I'll call you later then." He took a step to the door and opened it. "Thank you. I really missed you over the summer."

I put my hand on his. "Me too Jake."

And with my last words he smiled and walked out the door. I closed it behind him and started breathing again. I don't know when I started holding my breath but I felt the relief as the air left my lungs. I leaned forward with my forehead against the door thinking that this time could be different.

* * *

I jumped and almost dropped the plate in my hand as I heard the front door slam against the wall as it flew open. A couple seconds later the door slammed closed and I could hear my dad grumbling from the front room.

"Damn son of bitch. Thinks he tell me…"

I stepped into the hallway to check on my dad. I was worried about him. I wasn't used to hearing him so angry and, if I'm being honest, it kind of scared me.

"Dad?" I spoke softly hoping not to catch him off guard.

"Bella," he immediately looked guilty, "I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were standing there."

"I wasn't. I was in the kitchen getting your dinner ready. Are you okay?" There were no words to express how worried I was for my dad right now.

"Yeah Bells. I'm fine. Let me wash up and I'll be down in a minute." He jogged up the stairs. I think he was just eager to get away from me.

I finished putting his dinner on a plate and set a beer in his spot so everything was ready when he came down.

Charlie appeared in the doorway and inhaled deeply. "It smells really good Bells." He sat down in his chair. "It looks even better than it smells. Thanks."

I sat down with my plate and we began to eat. I waited for him to explain his behavior when he came in but he didn't. We ate silently and he completely ignored the fact that I was watching him. His mind was definitely on other things because, on a normal day, he would have hated being stared at.

"Dad?" I began hesitantly.

"Yeah."

"Will you tell me what happened today with your meeting?" I asked and knew I wouldn't get an answer but it was worth the try.

"It was nothing. How was your first day at school?" Just like I thought.

"Dad, I'm old enough now that you don't have to hide things from me anymore. Will you please tell me what happened?" I asked again hoping for a different answer.

"Bella, the chief just wanted me to keep a closer eye on my new partner. That's all. Now tell me how you first day went." I knew the signs and this one meant that the subject was closed. I might as well answer.

"It was great. Kind of slow in the morning. My general classes are going to be pretty easy. Journalism is going to be exciting." I took a moment to describe Mr. Collins to him. "He's really a direct kind of person. He's not going to take any attitudes from anyone and he's leaving a lot of the actual responsibility on our shoulders."

I continued to gush over my journalism teacher. I really did admire him for the way he treated us from the start. There weren't enough good things that I could say about him.

"That's great Bells. Anything else?" His eyebrow lifted in concern. I knew what he was asking for.

I needed to stall a little. "I sort of made a fool of myself in my public speaking class."

"How so?" He asked with a small chuckle. He probably had his suspicions about what happened.

"I messed up my introduction speech and then I tripped and fell as I was walking back to my desk." I didn't look at him but I heard the quite laugh he let out. It was clear that this was exactly what he had been expecting.

"We met a really nice girl today." I changed the subject and told him about Rosalie.

"Good for you. You and Alice could use a fresh face to hang around with. What's she like?" He asked with real interest.

"Well, she's really smart. She's in my science class and she is brilliant in a lab. She's funny and she's very caring." I gave a short explanation about how she was helping her cousin keep up with his classes. "She's probably the prettiest girl I've ever seen." That simple statement didn't do Rosalie's beauty justice at all.

"That's great Bells but what about your old friends?" He was fishing for an answer so I gave him some of what he was asking for.

"Jacob seemed fine dad. We talked a little and I saw him when Alice dragged me to watch their soccer practice." I had to reassure him. "I'm fine dad. You don't have to worry about me."

I kept the talk I had with Jacob in the living room a secret. If he knew he would only worry and, from the way he sounded when he came home, he had enough to worry about on his own.

"Just keep your eyes open Bells. Don't make any rash decisions." Charlie reached his limit again and changed the subject. "Dinner was great again. Thanks. You spoil me too much."

"Anything for you dad." I told him as I stood up to clear the table. He got up and headed for the couch and, minutes later, I heard the ESPN music filling the room. After cleaning the kitchen I headed upstairs to get some homework done.

I was halfway through my math homework when my phone rang. I looked at my caller ID, smiled and flipped open the phone.

"Hey Jacob."

"Hey. I just wanted to hear your voice." He thought he needed to explain why he called.

_How cute._

"That's sweet. What are you doing?"

"Math homework." How perfect is that.

"Me too. I'm just finishing it up before I start my English homework. How did the rest of practice go?" We were having such a normal conversation. It was like nothing bad ever happened between us.

"Practice was good. I was a bit distracted for a while but, once I got back into it, everything went great. The coach was talking to Sam about being one of the team captains." I could hear the smile as he said this. He was happy for his best friend.

"Really? Already?" I was surprised. "Isn't it still too early to think about that stuff?"

"Nah, the team needs a leader and the coach could tell how much we all listen to Sam already. It's a good choice. Besides our first game is in two weeks"

"Two weeks? That doesn't give you guys much time to get ready." I would have thought the team would need more practice than that.

"I told you we've already been practicing as a team for a while now. The coach started us in the summer."

"Oh I guess that's good then." I wanted to keep talking to him but I really needed to get my work done. "Hey Jake as much as I want to talk to you, I have to finish my homework."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt."

"You didn't interrupt. You just gave me a break, that's all. Will you call me tomorrow?" I asked hoping he wouldn't shut me out again.

"Absolutely. See you tomorrow Bella."

"See you tomorrow." I shut the phone and put it back on the bed.

It took me longer to finish my homework than it should have but that was because my thoughts were swirling around Jacob. I avoided him all summer because I didn't want to feel the pain that he had caused. Now that we were talking again I couldn't feel the old pain at all.

In one short conversation this afternoon Jacob wiped the slate clean and we were starting over again. Not from where we left off but creating a new beginning. I love him so much and there's no way I could turn away.

I got up and got ready for bed and went down to tell Charlie goodnight. I climbed the stairs tired and ready to sleep. Crawling into bed I put my cell phone on the bedside table and curled up into my pillow.

Just as I was about drift off, my phone buzzed at me. I flipped it open to read my new text message.

**Thanks for talking to me today…J**

I closed my eyes and sighed as our conversations today filled my head.

**I told you, I'll always be there for you…B**

He looked so sad when he came over that my heart automatically went out to him.

**It means a lot that you'll accept my apology…J**

**Always…B**

I was so tired and I needed to get some sleep.

**Good night Bells. Have sweet dreams. I love you…J**

_Could he be anymore perfect?_

**Good night Jake. I love you too…B**

I put my phone down and thought about how I got to this place again. I knew I was going to have to worry about Alice. She was going to see this one written all over my face. There's no way to keep this from her. She knew me too well. And now there's Rosalie too. I don't know her that well but I have a feeling that she's going to dislike this development as much as Alice. I just have to make them see Jacob the way I see him.

The Jacob I knew was not the mean and devious person that everyone thought he was. He was such a good person which is what made it so hard for me to ever let go. But he loves me. I know he does. He's already told me three times today alone. That has to mean something, right.

My eyes started to close and in the back of my mind I could hear Jacob's voice tell me one more time… I need you in my life. I love you Bella.

_Please let this time be real._

I whispered to myself as my eyes closed for the night.

* * *

**A/N: Does Jacob really seem that bad? Tell me what you think.**


	5. Alice's Missing Man

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, musical content, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**BPOV**

I was worried about seeing Alice this morning. I knew I was going to have to explain about Jacob but I really didn't want to do it. Since I was the first one at the bus stop I sat on the bench and took a few deep breaths waiting for her to show up. I was completely lost in thought. My mind drifted and the war between my head and my heart raged on as I thought about everything that happened yesterday.

_I can't believe he actually came back._

**See, he **_**is**_** worth it. He told you himself that he loves you.**

_But is that really what he meant? His next sentence called me his best friend._

**The person you love should be your best friend. He wants to be with you again.**

_But what about Leah? Can I really believe that it's over between them?_

**He came to you didn't he? If he wanted her, wouldn't he be chasing her around instead of you?**

_He didn't chase me. He saw me upset and made it better. That's what he does. It's that false sense of security. I don't know if I can trust him._

**Live in the moment, Bella. Living in the past is getting you nowhere. He screwed up and he admitted it. Accept his apology and take him back. You love him and there is no way to get around that.**

_Just keep your eyes open Bella. See everything this time…not just what he wants you to see. Keep enough distance and don't get caught up in the emotion. Reality needs to keep you grounded this time._

**You love him Bella. That should be enough.**

"Hello…Bella."

I heard her voice and was called back to the moment by Alice's hand moving in front of my eyes. I shook my head and tried to clear my thoughts. The last thought stuck with me. Jacob may say he loves me but are his words really enough this time?

"Hey Alice, sorry I must have zoned out while I was waiting." I must have been really out of it because I didn't notice even one person show up let alone the ten that were standing around us.

"What's got you so deep in thought?" she asked.

"It's nothing really." I tried to sound like it wasn't anything important but, as it always does, my face gave me away.

"I know that smile Bella Swan," she accused. "You talked to Jacob last night didn't you?"

My face clouded over with the guilt I felt. She just rolled her eyes at me.

"Look, I told you yesterday that I would support you but are you really going to get involved with him again?" She was concerned but she was trying to keep her promise to stand by me. "What about Leah? He could still want her?"

"It's not like the last time Alice." She started to say something but I held my hand up to stop her. "Wait before you say anything, let me explain. I've been thinking a lot about it this morning and I'm not going to jump in head first this time. I have my eyes open and I'm going to protect myself as much as possible."

"Just be careful Bella. If you end up hurt again I don't know that I will be able to control myself next time. And I'll have Rosalie on my side this time." She gave me a little wink as she mentioned Rosalie. "You heard her yesterday. She wanted to beat Jacob just for hearing what he did. What do you think she'll do if she sees it for herself?"

"Speaking of Rosalie, since she gave us her number yesterday, we should call her and have her meet us by my locker before class. I want to plan a girl's night." I knew this would divert Alice's attention. "What do you think?"

I saw the twinkle in her eye as she thought of a girl's night. _Ahh sweet success...subject officially changed._ I know my pixie friend so well.

"That would be awesome. We could get together and watch old movies and blast the music while we sing and dance around in our pajamas all night."

I sat back and watched as the wheels turned in Alice's head. She started thinking about all the things we could do. While she was busy putting a plan together, I shot Rosalie a text message.

**Hey Rose, meet us by my locker before class. We need to talk…B**

I got a message back within a couple of seconds. Since I was sure it was Rosalie I didn't even look at the number.

**Hey doll. You look good today. I love you…J**

I didn't even see him walk up. I should have heard him considering he and his friends were making so much noise. I glanced over my shoulder at him and his back was turned. I typed my quick reply and tried to hide my smile before Alice noticed.

**Same to you. Love you…B**

Just before I closed my phone a new message came in.

**Hey Bella. I'll meet u there. R u gonna give me a clue…Rose**

**Nope. Bus just got here. B there in 20…B**

**Cool. C u then…Rose**

"Rosalie is going to meet us." I told Alice as we sat in our seats. "Now, I have a question for you."

"What?"

"So, I was a little preoccupied yesterday when we were at the boys' practice." The sight of Jacob with his shirt off meant there was no one in the world that could take my attention away. "Did you see him there? I didn't notice if he was or not."

"You know," she said like I had just reminded her, "once I saw you staring at Jacob I forgot to look. All I could think about at the time was you."

"Aww," I teased her as I tilted my head and laid it on her shoulder, "you mean to tell me that I outrank your entire obsession."

"Not even close Swan." She laughed and shrugged to get me off her. "I will find that boy. No doubt about it."

We talked all the way to school about him and how nothing was going to distract her from finding him. I mentioned that I could ask Jacob to see if he was on the team but all I got was a 'don't you dare' look out of her so I let it go.

We got to school and Rosalie was already there waiting for us.

"Okay what's the big secret?" she asked with wide eyes.

"No secret really." Alice told her. "We are going to have a girl's night this Friday. Just the three of us."

"That would be so much fun." Rosalie said with a gleam in her eyes. It's funny how much she looked like Alice when she would get excited. "What better way to get to know each other than over some old movies, some old school music and ice cream."

Yes, definitely like Alice. "Ice cream is a must." I agreed. "Will your parents let you come over to my house?"

"Sure but they would have to meet your dad first." She cringed and looked little embarrassed when she said that. "They like to know the families of the girls I consider my friends."

"Don't worry my dad is the same way." I told her and then laughed as we split up to go to class.

* * *

During the rest of the week, school quickly became routine making one day passed into the next. My general classes were easy. Nothing exciting happened in class all week…notes and more notes to take. There were a couple of tests to take already but they were nothing.

In journalism, we had daily lectures on the fundamentals of writing a good story. I had chosen my topic for my first assignment and spent everyday interviewing teachers and writing a few paragraphs a day.

In public speaking, there were a couple of times we were asked to read out loud from historical speeches. The intent was to help with the cadence in which we spoke. I was thankful that I wasn't required to stand and speak in front of the class for those.

My routine at home was set once again to allow me time to take care of Charlie while still getting all my homework done. The text messages between classes and nightly phone calls from Jacob continued. We were falling back into our comfortable routine together as well. Our talks were always so easy. He was one of my greatest friends and I could tell him anything. We were there for each other and it felt nice.

The first week really went well. Friday was finally here and our girl's night was going to happen as planned. Rosalie's parents met my dad and they really hit it off. Her dad loved to hunt and fish like Charlie. Her mom was happy that he was a cop so she knew that her baby would be safe at his house.

Alice and Rosalie were going to meet at my house at six with Alice bringing the movies and Rosalie bringing the music. The food and ice cream were my department.

We sat down at lunch so we could discuss some suggestions for the movies. However, something was a little off. Alice sat at the table and, just like every other day, she scanned the cafeteria looking for "her man" as she began to call him. Again, he was nowhere to be found and she slumped down in her seat.

I could see her getting more desperate to find him every day. We made an appearance at every soccer practice during the week hoping to see him but he wasn't there. I hated the fact that I might be right about him and he moved over the summer.

Alice was such a happy person that it hurt me to see her so upset. She didn't participate in much of the conversation today and it worried me. Rosalie and I looked at each other and I just shook my head. I don't know if Alice ever told Rosalie about him but if she didn't, Rose was going to hear about it tonight because I intended to have this talk with her.

After lunch I handed Alice the list of suggested movies because she wasn't paying enough attention during the discussion. When I left her after study hall, she didn't look any better. She's actually a little worse off than I thought. She was downright grumpy and she even snapped at me a couple of times over nothing.

I don't know what I can do for her and my discussion tonight might make it worse but she needs to face reality now and see that he's just not here.

I went to journalism and it was more of the same lectures that we've had all week. The time passed and after the class was over I made my way to public speaking. Today as I walked to my class Jacob was waiting for me next to the classroom door.

He face brightened with his huge grin when he saw me. "Hey doll," he said as he gave me a kiss on my cheek.

"Hey Jake. What's up?" This wasn't normal so I was curious to see what he wanted.

"I was wondering what you're doing tonight." His eyes were hopeful as he asked.

"I'm hanging with the girls tonight. Why? What are you up to?"

"My sister Rachel is going to be in town for the weekend and we're going to be hanging out at my house," he shrugged like it was no big deal. "I wanted to see if you would come down but since you're busy…"

"Yeah sorry Jake. We've been planning this all week." I almost considered going with Jacob but no. I have to make myself less available to him…less pathetic. "I would like to be there but, if I were to blow them off tonight, Alice would know why and she would hunt you down like a dog."

"You're right. We all know how Alice feels about me." He grinned at me again. "Can I call you later?"

"You better not. We'll be watching movies and stuff. I don't want to make them wait while I'm on the phone." I was sad that I wouldn't get to talk to him tonight but I don't want to deal with more questions than I'm sure to get anyway. "Tomorrow."

"Okay. Get in there before you're late." He pushed me a little toward the door before he walked across the hall. He turned back and called my name. "Bella," he smiled "you'll make her proud."

I smiled back but couldn't speak. Jacob and I had talked about the speech I was supposed to make today. He knew I was nervous about this but he's been trying to reassure me all week that I was going to be fine. His belief in me was all I needed. I walked in and took my seat. I was ready for this assignment. We had to take two minutes to talk about one of our happiest memories to date. This was easy of course and nothing was going to distract me today.

I sat patiently through the class and finally Mrs. Clark called my name. I took a deep breath and stole a quick glance at Jacob as I stood up. He smiled and offered me his heart by using our private gesture to tell me he loved me.

_You got this Bella. _

"Hello. I want to tell you about my mother." I stopped for a second to take another breath. "My mom took me to a birthday party for a girl in my class when I was five years old. I was a shy kid and hesitant about playing with the other girls. One girl grabbed my hand and walked out to the backyard with me to play. All the girls were wearing blue dresses and I had on my brand new yellow dress. They laughed when they saw me and said I couldn't play with them because I was different." I paused slightly as I remembered how much that hurt me.

"My mom took me home and called a friend who brought her little girl, Alice, over to play. We helped my mom in the kitchen to make our own cake. While it baked, we sat on the floor in the living room and painted our nails. I got to brush my mom's hair while Alice brushed mine. My mom had pretty brown hair with strands of gold in it. I pinned it up and my mom made it seem like it was the best style she'd ever had. When our hair was done we played dress up and put on some pretty clothes. While the cake was cooling on the kitchen counter, we posed for pictures like we were super models. The first picture was of my mom and me, then Alice and her mom, our moms together and finally one of just me and Alice. Our moms left us to play while they decorated the cake and when they came back they showed us their work. The cake read '2 beautiful girls' 'Best friends 4ever'. It may have been someone else's birthday that day but my mom gave me a gift that I've gotten to keep with me for the last nine years," I took a steadying breath as the last part was the hardest to say, "someone to be with me when she couldn't be."

I blinked back a couple of tears after the last sentence. I wasn't going to cry in front of the entire class. I have mixed feelings when it comes to talking about my mom. I love to tell people about her because she was such a good person but I hate it because I get so emotional when I do and I don't want to seem like a baby for crying.

"Thank you Ms. Swan," Mrs. Clark said as I took my seat. "You're mother sounded like a great woman."

"Thanks. She was." I smiled at her compliment and sat down. I looked across the hall and Jacob was looking at me curious to see how it went. I gave him a thumbs up and a big smile to let him know I did a good job. He smiled back and blew me a kiss before going back to his work.

* * *

Alice's dad was going to pick us up from school today and take us to the store to get the essentials for the night. It was one of the rare nights that he and her mother were home so he offered to be our chauffeur.

We asked him to pick us up about half an hour after school so we can get our homework for the weekend and still go to the boys' practice for the last time this week. Unfortunately, still nothing. He was nowhere to be found.

Alice sat with me in the backseat while we rode to the store. Her dad tried to get her to talk but he was asking questions that only required one-word answers so he didn't get much interaction from her.

When we got to the store Alice went to the section for movie rentals and I started toward the isles I needed to buy the food. Before I got too far Alice's dad put a hand on my shoulder.

"Bella, please tell me what's wrong with Alice. She's just not herself lately." The concern for his daughter showed like a beacon on his face.

"She really is okay Mr. Brandon." I tried to sound upbeat as I outright lied to him. I'm not a good liar and I hoped I could pull this off. I didn't want to tell him that Alice was upset over a boy. I knew she wouldn't want him to know. "She is upset that one of our friends moved away over the summer."

"Are you sure?" His eyes narrowed slightly. "I didn't think she really talked to anyone other than you." I knew he could see through me but he didn't say it directly.

"Yeah we started to really get to know each other as the school year was ending. She was looking forward to spending time together when we got back to school." _Please let him believe me._ "She'll be fine really. She'll be happy again in no time."

"Okay Bella." He was a little skeptical but he seemed to accept what I said. "Just keep an eye on her okay."

"I will Mr. Brandon…always."

I smiled and walked away to go get my shopping done. After about twenty minutes I had everything I needed. I was standing near the rental section while Alice finished making her selections.

We were silent again on the way back to my house. Mr. Brandon kept stealing glances at us through the rearview mirror. I knew his concern because I was feeling it too but we were going to talk it all out tonight and, one way or another, I was going to see a happy Alice again.

It was still early so they dropped me off at my house so I could get the prep work done for dinner and Alice could spend some time with her parents. I walked in and pulled everything out of the bags and got to work. I was making homemade pizzas for us so I started cutting up the vegetables so they would be ready when it came time to make them.

Everything was ready and I still had time to wait before the girls got here. I decided to lay out on the couch with a book. I like a variety of genres when I read but my favorites are definitely the classics. I decided to read the rest of Romeo and Juliet that I had begun to read last weekend. I got myself comfortable and was so absorbed in my book that the knock on the door scared me.

It was barely five thirty so I figured Alice was early, as usual. I hollered at her to come in and went back to my reading.

"You really shouldn't let just anyone into your house you know."

My book flew across the room as I spun myself around on the couch. Jacob was standing innocently in the doorway.

His voice scared the hell out of me and I yelled at him. "Shit Jacob! What are you doing here?" I wasn't angry with him but I sounded that way.

"I'm sorry," he said as his face fell a little. "I'll just call you tomorrow." He turned back to the door and took a step before I calmed myself down enough to stop him.

"No Jake. It's fine. You just scared me." I was still confused as to why he was here. He knew what my plans were for tonight. "Why are you…? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just needed to talk to you about something." He was twirling his soccer ball in his hands trying not to seem nervous.

I sat up and offered him the seat next to me. Once he was settled he took a deep breath and began to tell me what was on his mind. He was here to ask me for advice, which was actually a pretty normal thing between us. I sat and listened to what he had on his mind. I wanted to make sure I heard everything before I said anything. After he finished I thought for a minute about how to respond.

"Okay let me make sure I have this straight." I told him before I repeated what I thought the situation was. "Sam and Emily 'kind of' got back together when school started. They've only been talking on the phone and haven't really spent time together since everything started again. Sam hasn't told anyone that he's going out with Emily again because there's another girl that he likes. He doesn't want to ruin what he has with Emily if things with the other girl don't work?" That last part came out like a question because I was honestly confused.

"Yeah, that sounds about right." Jacob confirmed my version of the situation.

"Honestly Jake, that just doesn't sound like…Sam." Sam was such a nice guy and I can't picture him treating anyone that way especially Emily. I may have my issues with him and blame him for my past with Jacob, but this whole thing just seems to go against his character.

"That's what I thought but I always feel better when I get your opinion. He's going to be at my house tonight and he wants to talk." Jacob felt sympathy for his friend and came to me because he wanted my opinion about how to help him. "He feels really bad. What do you think he should do?"

"Well, if he cares about Emily at all he needs to tell her that he can't talk to her anymore until he figures out what he really wants. I'm sure he doesn't want to hurt her because I know how he felt about her." I paused for a second before finishing my thought. "Trust me though, it will hurt her a lot worse if he tries to play them both and she finds out." Oh yeah, I definitely knew that pain.

"What if he doesn't want to give her up?"

"He doesn't really have a choice, does he? Either he's going to be with Emily or he's going to ask out the other girl. He can't do both."

"I guess you're right. It's going to be hard because he really cares for Emily. If you ask him, he'll even say he loves her." He was shaking his head. I knew he didn't want to tell Sam to leave Emily but there really was no other solution.

I grabbed Jacob's hand and scooted a little closer to him. "But Jake," I said as I turned his face so I could look him in the eyes, "is it really love if he can't say with absolute certainty that he wants Emily alone?"

Jacob's shoulders dropped slightly and his chest seemed to deflate a little. "You're right Bells." The look on his face was one of resignation.

He pulled me so I was sitting in his lap and he had me wrapped up in a tight hug. I wrapped my arms around his neck and we sat there in silence for a minute before he spoke again.

"I'm so glad to have you, doll. I know I can always count on you," he said as his hand came up to stroke my hair. He pulled away a little to kiss my cheek and look me in the eyes. His hand went up to stroke my cheek as he spoke, "I'll say it again…I need you in my life."

My heart picked up its pace at his words but before I could say anything back I heard several things hit the floor behind me. I jumped out of Jacob's lap to the floor but, in true Bella fashion, I lost my balance and fell flat on my ass.

"What the hell, Bella?" Alice screamed at me from the doorway.

Rosalie was standing in shock behind her. "I told you we should have knocked first," she said smacking Alice in the arm.

Jacob offered me his hand and helped me to my feet. I thanked him but kept a grip on his hand as I stood there facing my two stunned friends.

"Knock my ass. I haven't had to knock on this door in five years," she yelled and turned her glare toward Jacob. "What the hell are _you_ doing here?"

"I…" Jacob was at a loss for words.

"Alice," I began to shout back at her, "this is my house and he can come over anytime he wants. He doesn't need your permission." I felt him squeeze my hand a little in an attempt to get my attention. I turned to him.

"I'm going to go." He smiled at me. "I have to get home anyway. Rachel will be home in an hour and we need to get ready."

I walked him past Alice and Rose, who stood frozen to the floor. I stepped outside with him for a second closing the door a little behind me. "I'm sorry Jake. Alice is still a little…" I hesitated not knowing exactly what to say.

"A little?" he interrupted with his questioning tone. "I'm lucky I wasn't within her reach or I may not have my head attached right now."

"I know. I'm so sorry." I reached up to hug him again and whispered in his ear, "I'll talk to her."

He hugged me back. "Thanks for everything Bells." He dipped his head to kiss my cheek. "I'll call you tomorrow. Love you." He let me go and heading in the direction of his house.

I stormed back into the house determined to have it out with Alice. I slammed the door and made them both jump.

"What's your damn problem Alice?"

"I'm sorry. I just saw him here and flipped out for a minute." Her apology was sincere enough but I was too angry right now.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Is that all you can ever say? When are you going to give him a break?" She looked stunned and then her fury came out.

"When he's done hurting my best friend I might _think_ about it."

I took another step closer to her. "Did it look like he was hurting me?" I motioned to the couch where they found us. "I don't think so."

"Maybe not today but I don't want to wait around for it to happen." Her tone softened just a bit.

Rosalie stepped between us putting a hand on each of our shoulders to push us back a step. "Knock it off," she said with some force behind her words. "I didn't come here to watch you two fight. Alice," she pointed her finger right at Alice's face, "back off of Jacob until he does something wrong. Bella," she turned her finger to me and her face told me she wasn't going to take our crap, "after seeing the _impressive_ state of Jacob's pants when he left, he could have hurt you if we didn't come in when we did."

We both just stared at her with our mouths hanging open. Then the three of us burst into hysterical laughter. After a few minutes, I gained a small amount of control and tried to speak.

"I can't believe…" I tried to catch my breath, "you said that with a straight face." With that we were laughing harder. After a few more minutes, my sides were hurting from laughing so hard. I tried to calm myself down so I didn't stop breathing all together.

"Where the hell did that come from?" Alice asked Rosalie as she shoved against her arm.

"Sorry, it was kind of hard to miss," she was still laughing a little. "If you two weren't arguing with each other you would have seen what I did."

* * *

We had finished dinner and the three of us were sitting around the living room while we looked at Alice's movie selections. She decided that we needed a Brad Pitt moviefest. She picked out Meet Joe Black because it was romantic, Troy because who wouldn't want to see him half naked and kicking some ass, and then she picked Mr. and Mrs. Smith because he is just plain sexy in that movie.

We decided that we were in the mood for sexy Brad and we settled in to watch. Throughout the movie we learned a little more about Rosalie's personality. We already knew she was bold and not afraid of sexual discussions considering what happened with Jacob earlier. We never expected a girl who loved and laughed at the violence on the screen not to mention the girl who cussed up a storm. Rosalie had the rough personality that meant she could kick a little ass of her own if she had to.

It was fun getting to see that side of her. It was a far cry from the self-proclaimed science geek that could run a science lab with the best. She was definitely the best compliment to Alice and me and she would either stand up to us or for us when it was called for.

When the first movie was over we put in the romance to calm down the adrenaline rush that the first movie caused. We were half way through the movie and the romance was building when I heard sniffles coming from the seat next to me.

I looked over and Alice was crying. She has always been the emotional type and cries when we watch girl movies. However, this movie hadn't gone through a sad moment yet so I knew it wasn't because of the movie.

"Alice, are you okay? What's wrong?" I asked her as I scooted over to put an arm around her shoulders.

"It's been a week already, he should be here. Really, who misses the first week of school?" She was whispering but, of course, she was finally letting me see that this was really upsetting her.

"I'm sorry honey but I tried to throw out the possibility before. Maybe he moved and doesn't go to this school anymore."

"But he's supposed to be here. I have a plan." She sounded so dejected. The tears were making her eyes red and puffy but she wasn't making a move to wipe them off her face. Her mood had been deteriorating all week but I didn't think she had reached this point though.

"Alice, we'll just have to find you someone who is equally as gorgeous who actually goes to this school." I tried to smile at her.

"No!" she said a little louder than the whisper she had been using, which caught Rosalie's attention. "I'm not interested. I know what I want and I don't want to settle for second best." I felt bad for her. She's waited so long to see him.

I just hugged my friend because there really wasn't anything else I could do. Rosalie was staring at us with a questioning look on her face. I didn't want to say anything without Alice bringing it up first so I just shook my head slightly to let her know that now wasn't the time.

About twenty minutes later Charlie, who was working the late shift, came walking through the door. I jumped up and went into the kitchen to put his dinner on the table. I knew about what time he was coming home so I made sure there was a fresh pizza waiting for him. After he washed up he sat down at the table to eat and I could tell there was something off about his attitude.

"Dad…" I began my question but he silenced me with a stone-faced look. I knew that look. It meant that he's ready to shut himself off from everything and everyone including me. He usually only gets that look on his face three days out of the year; my mom's birthday, their anniversary and the date she died. I don't know what's causing it now but I'm worried. I hated seeing him like this.

"Not tonight Bells," he tried to make his voice soft as he spoke but it just came out sounding tired. "Everything's fine honey. You go back to your friends and have fun."

"Okay dad." I tried to keep my voice calm. "We'll take our things upstairs and give you back your TV." I smiled at him hoping to get one back but there was nothing but that blank face staring back at me.

"Thanks Bells."

The girls and I headed to my room. The movie we were watching wasn't over yet but, unfortunately, I don't have a TV in my room so we would have to save it for tomorrow morning when Charlie heads back to work.

Rosalie pulled out her ipod and started searching through the music. She pulled out a small bag that looked like a little purse. She hooked up her ipod the purse looking thing so we could hear the music through the small speakers hidden inside.

"This night wouldn't be complete without some old school R&B," she announced as her body started to move to the beat.

I didn't usually listen to R&B music but this wasn't bad. After a few minutes, I found myself moving to the beats also. "I really like this."

"Old school is the best. You've got your awesome dance music and the best ballads that really touch your heart."

"I'll have to check out more. It's really good. What do you think Alice?"

"This song is cool." She was on her feet dancing around the room. "I don't really listen to this type of music so I'll definitely need to hear more before I decide."

We sat around laughing and talking about nothing specific. We went from one subject to another getting to know more about each other. Alice and I already knew the little things about each other but it was fun to go back through some of the things we did together that have brought us closer over the years.

"Okay, now down to the good stuff." Alice had an evil grin on her face.

"Rose, I know that look. I think we may be in trouble." We shared an apprehensive look and then turned back to Alice. I held up my hand to stop the questions that were about to come. "Wait we can't get into this without ice cream. I'll be right back"

I ran down the stairs and grabbed the ice cream and three spoons. I looked in on my dad and he was asleep on the couch. I debated waking him up to send him to bed but I decided against it for now and ran back upstairs.

"Okay I think we're ready now." I sat back down and waited for the questioning to start.

"Bella, you're lucky I already know all your secrets and we all know who you want. So Rose I'm starting with you. Has anyone caught your eye yet?" We were both curious to see what type of boy she was interested in.

She actually blushed when she answered. "Well, I have seen a couple that looked promising but..." she hesitated and, of course, it made us more interested.

"Well?" Alice started bouncing in her chair waiting to hear.

"Well there is this boy Collin." Rosalie's cheeks turned a deeper red at the mention of his name. "He's cute and he loves science just like me but he's not very interesting outside of the lab."

"Wait…Collin? The kid who sits in the corner during first period?" She nodded. "What's wrong with him?" He seemed nice but he didn't talk much so I didn't really know him.

"Okay you know that I've called myself a science geek but at least I can talk about something other than science. With him, it's always a discussion about formulas and experiments." She rolled her eyes as I'm sure she thought of her conversations with him.

"Ugh…boring. How could that be all he talks about?" Alice was instantly turned off by the kid.

"Maybe he's just nervous. Think about it, he's got someone that looks like you wanting to have a conversation with him. Do you think he's going to know how to deal with you?" I had to stick up for the poor boy.

"I'm just a normal girl. Why would he be nervous around me?"

"Really? You didn't just ask that." Alice laughed at her when she looked confused. "Rose you are sooo not the normal girl. Girls that look like you are usually the cheerleaders who date the football players."

"Yeah and you haven't made a secret of your love for science. So this poor boy is trying to talk to the girl that he sees as way out of his league. Can you blame him for trying to talk to you about something you're interested in?"

"I guess but he's too serious all the time. I need someone who can have some fun and tell jokes and just be that easy going, laid back guy who isn't intimidated by me."

"Well I hope you find someone like that. We can't always have the one we want," Alice said as the depression returned. She tried to hide it but she didn't do a very good job.

"Okay Alice, what is it?" Rosalie asked her. "I heard you downstairs when we were watching the movie. Which guy has you so upset?" She raised an eyebrow. "Who am I going to have to hurt for making you cry?"

Alice looked to me for help. I gave the only answer I could. "She doesn't know who he is?"

"What?" Rosalie didn't know how to respond to that. "You're crying over someone but you don't know who he is?"

"Okay when you put it like that it does sound crazy." I tried to explain. "Well, last year we went to a soccer game and Alice saw this amazing looking boy." Alice took over from there explaining her problem.

"He was so gorgeous with his blonde hair and perfect athletic body. I couldn't take my eyes off him. He was really good. He had a certain fluidity when he played." She sounded wistful as she talked about him.

_Wow! I didn't know how much she watched and thought about him. _

"I don't know him off the field but on it he played with such confidence in his ability." She turned sad again. "He was supposed to come to school here. I've been waiting to meet him since I saw him play that day and I look for him everyday. That's why we've been going to the boys' practices everyday. I keep hoping to see him playing with team but he's nowhere to be found."

"Oh Alice, I'm so sorry." Rosalie put her arm around Alice's tiny shoulders and pulled her into a hug. "If you need anything you know I'm here for you okay."

"Thanks Rose." Alice was crying again and she excused herself to go to the bathroom to wash her face.

"I feel so bad for her. Seeing someone and hoping you get to meet them someday. Then having that taken away from you." She shook her head. "It's not fair."

"Yeah I've never seen her like this. She's usually this perpetually happy, bubbly person but this is really bothering her. She's been anxious to get to know him since she laid eyes on him." I realized something in that minute. "You know, now that I think about it, he went to the same school you did."

"Really? The only blonde on our team was…" Rosalie stopped mid-sentence. Her eyes grew wide and I could see a thought turning over in her mind. She got this devilish look on her face and scooted closer to me.

Rosalie leaned to whisper in my ear. "Bella, I have something to tell you but you can't tell Alice. Will you promise me?"


	6. Mr Whitlock Arrives

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, musical content, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**I know I promised to bring Edward into this chapter but it would have been way too long if i did. He is definitely in the next chapter, which will also be up today.**

**I hope you enjoy it.**

* * *

BPOV

_Oh God…just kill me now. I can't do this._

Does Rosalie not know what she's asking of me? Me…Bella Swan…officially _THE _worst liar on the planet. Not only that, I have to lie to Alice Brandon who _always_ knows when she's being lied to no matter how skilled the liar is.

_I'm so screwed._

Maybe if I don't look at as lying I could get away with it. I'm not really lying to Alice; I'm just not telling her what I know. It could work.

_Oh who am I kidding? It's the same thing._

I had a hard enough time last night trying to keep this from Alice for the two hours before we finally went to sleep for the night. She almost caught me a couple of times but I told her about my concerns for Charlie instead. I was lucky enough to avoid the conversation while telling her something that _was_ the truth. The next few days are going to kill me.

Alice had been giving me 'the eye' Saturday morning because she saw that my bottom lip had permanently taken up residence between my teeth. She knew that this was a nervous habit of mine which of course caused me to bite it harder. I'll be lucky if my bottom lip is still attached when this is all over.

I will forever thank God for Mr. And Mrs. Brandon finally spending an entire weekend at home. They picked Alice up from my house Saturday morning earlier than I had expected. Their excuse was to spend some time together over the weekend while they do some shopping. I had a feeling that, after my talk with Mr. Brandon on Friday, it was decided that Alice needed some retail therapy.

This gave me the entire weekend to myself. I was sitting in my room Sunday night on the phone with Rosalie trying to prepare myself to see Alice in school tomorrow.

"Maybe I can pretend to be sick for the next couple of days," I said as I considered all the possible ways to get away from Alice until Wednesday.

"No Bella. You're not going to play sick. You need to be there to make sure she follows her routine. Besides, if she's already depressed, do you think she'll feel any better if her best friend is missing too?" She had a point but why did it have to be so damn reasonable.

"If you can do this for just the next few days I promise you that we can make Alice happier than you have ever seen her." Rosalie was pleading with me to work with her on this.

"I'm not good at keeping secrets but I'll try." I would do anything for Alice. "I want her to be happy."

"And she will be." Rosalie was so certain. "This will all turn out for the best Bella. Trust me."

Trust me. I've heard those words at least seven times from Rosalie this weekend. I don't have a problem trusting her. I don't know if I can trust myself not to give this away.

Monday morning came and, from the first minute I saw Alice, I went on the offensive. While I would be the last person to talk about clothes, the outfit she had on looked amazing which gave me the perfect opportunity to distract her.

"Damn hottie! Where did you come from?" I teased her. She was wearing semi-tight black jeans, a red shirt that came to the top of her neck in the front and hung half way down her back and a pair of red three-inch heels. It was so Alice.

"I know. Don't you just love it?" Alice squealed in delight as she spun in a circle to show off her new outfit. "Daddy said I could pick out whatever I wanted as long as I stayed within a certain dollar amount."

"Girl you're going to have to beat the guys off with a stick in that outfit." As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted saying anything. I saw a small flash of the hurt pass through her eyes. I should have kept my mouth shut.

She played if off pretty well though. "Well it's just too bad for them that this girl," she winked at me and slightly nodded her head "is staying single."

She surprised me when she said that. After the last year of hearing about her dream man, she was going to give up just like that. That wasn't her normal behavior but maybe it could be a good thing for me. If she was going to try to hide her unhappiness by not talking about him then I wouldn't have to worry about slipping and telling her what I know. Maybe these next few days wouldn't be that bad after all.

We stood talking for a few minutes before I heard the whistles coming from behind me. I didn't have to look to know they were coming from Jacob's friends. In a flash I was proved right when Paul and Embry came to talk to Alice. I took a step back and watched as Alice talked and laughed with them.

"If I didn't know better, I would say she's flirting with them." Jacob spoke from behind me. "What do you think Sam?"

"Yeah looks that way to me. Bella?" Sam posed the same question to me.

I took an extra step back and was now standing between Jacob and Sam. "Dream on boys…dream on." I lifted my chin in Alice's direction and said, "That girl has eyes for only one boy. Embry and Paul don't stand a chance."

"Prove it." Sam challenged me.

"All in due time my friends. Everything will be revealed." I laughed at my last words when I saw the confusion on their faces. Without thinking, I slipped my arms under theirs like they were my escorts or something. We walked the couple of steps to where Alice, Embry and Paul were standing and we joined in the conversation.

Alice's sudden buoyant mood brought us all back together. Scenes from last year played in my head of us just like this. We were all such good friends then. Why did things have to get so messed up?

* * *

Things were just a little off today with Alice. She was trying too hard to stay upbeat but I could see the slight traces of her sadness sneaking through. I tried to tell her that everything would be okay. She just rolled her eyes and told me she was fine.

Alice continued to gain the attention of the boys around school. At lunch Mike Newton and Tyler Crowley, two football players who wouldn't think to look at either of us twice, were sitting with us while competing for her attention. Just like this morning, Alice just talked and laughed with them both. I still wouldn't call it flirting but it was close.

Rosalie leaned over to talk so Alice wouldn't hear. "What is going on with her? She went from a moping, lovesick girl to the girl who craves the attention of all boys in the room in just one weekend."

"It's almost like she's trying_ too_ hard." I turned to Rosalie and her frown was matching my own. "She's hurt and way overcompensating because of it." She just nodded her head. "Do you think we should just tell her?"

"Not yet. Let's see what happens after school. If anything we can corner her and talk to her then." She narrowed her eyes just a bit. "I'll knock some sense into her if I have to."

"If she keeps this up I just might help you." I didn't like this.

"Well she looks like she could use some saving right now." Rosalie turned her attention to the boys at our table. "So Mike…Tyler you two play football right?

The boys shifted their attention from Alice to talk with Rosalie. I glanced at Alice and she blew out a breath of relief, her shoulders slumped slightly and she reached her right hand back to play with the back of her hair.

In all the years I've known Alice she only plays with her hair like that when she is bothered by something or if she's lying. She knew my habit of biting my lip and I knew that she always played with that same piece of hair when we were trying to keep something private. The only problem…today we were keeping things from each other.

After school, Alice just wanted to go straight home. She headed straight for the bus after dropping off her books not giving Rose and me a chance to talk to her about her behavior. She talked the whole way home like nothing was bothering her. If I didn't know her any better I would have believed she was fine but I knew her too well and I could read every emotion that she tried to hide. She said goodbye and started to walk home as soon as she stepped off the bus.

"Hey are you coming over tonight?" I only asked because she hadn't been over all weekend.

"Nope, not today. I have some things to take care of at home." She reached up and ran her right hand through the back of her hair again. "I also have too much homework to do. I'll just see you in the morning."

I decided to let her go. I really couldn't question her about her lying when I was keeping a secret of my own. I just had to hope that tomorrow would be a better day.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. Alice's behavior hadn't changed from the day before. It's hard to see her like this. I could see the look in her eyes that said she wished everyone would leave her alone as every new person came up to talk to her. She would never say it out loud though. Alice was never good at being alone.

Mike and Tyler were at our table again for lunch today. The only difference was that they were splitting their attentions between Alice and Rosalie. Neither of the girls looked particularly happy with their conversational partners but they were too nice to tell the boys to leave.

The rest of the day went the same as yesterday. Alice didn't come over after school today and that made four days in a row now. I don't think she's ever stayed away this long since her parents started allowing her to walk to my house by herself. She was at my house almost as much as I was. I was starting to get lonely. I missed my friend.

I only had to wait until tomorrow though. He would be here and I know that once she laid her eyes on him this would all stop. She could have her man and I could have my friend back. I can't wait for Alice to be Alice again. It's not like this person that has been by my side for the last two days is bad but I want _my_ Alice back.

* * *

Finally, today is the day.

**I need to talk to you before we get to school…B**

I sent Jacob a text because I needed his help later and I wouldn't have a chance to ask him at school.

**Are you okay…J**

**Fine. I need a favor. I'll talk to you in a bit…B**

**Ok…J**

I was waiting at the bus stop for Jacob to show up. I hope today is like the last two days and Paul and Embry would steal Alice's attention away from anything I'm doing.

Sure enough the two walked right past me to stand with Alice. Jacob stepped up and put his hand on my shoulder. Sam was with him of course and I didn't want to ask this in front of him.

"Sam, can I talk to Jake for a minute?" I asked him using the sweetest voice I could come up with.

"Is everything okay Bella?" Sam asked. He was concerned about me. We were friends…once.

"Everything's good. I just need to ask Jake something." I smiled at him. As he started to walk away I asked him one more question that's been on my mind. "Oh hey Sam…how's Emily doing?"

"Emily's great." His face brightened as he said her name. "She's loving school this year. I'll leave you two alone."

"Tell her I said hi."

"Sure thing Bella."

_Well that's strange._ I had a weird feeling but I shook it off and let it go before I turned to Jacob.

"So what's up Bells?" Jacob asked as soon as Sam walked away.

"I need to ask for a favor." I bit my lip and hoped I could ask him to do this without having him ask too many questions.

"What do you need?"

"I need you to send me a text later asking me to go to your practice tonight." He looked confused. "I don't really care what it says just that you really want me to be there."

"Why?"

"I just want to be there today." I really didn't want to explain this to him.

He cocked his eyebrow at me and gave me a smile. "You want to be there for me?"

If that's the way he wanted to think about it then I would let him if it got me what I wanted. I'm not saying that watching him play without his shirt isn't worth it but that's not what I would be there for today. "Sure Jake. I like watching you play."

"So why don't you just show up? Why do you need me to ask?"

_Great. It figures he would ask._

"Well I don't want to go alone and Alice won't go with me unless I have a good reason."

He laughed. "You think she'll consider seeing me a good reason." The look he gave me questioned my sanity but I needed him to believe me.

"If she knows that it will make me happy then she'll do it."

"Alright Bells whatever you say." He wiggled his eyebrows at me. "Besides, I like it when you watch me."

Queue the blush. I decided to tease him. "Yeah you're alright."

We both laughed as we walked back our friends. This was going to work.

* * *

"Where's Rose?" Alice asked. "She's usually here by now."

"She was excused to go to lunch with her family today." I shrugged. "She'll be back later." I looked over Alice's shoulder and saw Mike and Tyler on the way to our table. "Oh God. Is this going to become a constant thing?" I jerked my head in their direction.

Alice tuned to see the two coming our way. "They're nice. I never thought they would be."

"They think they are God's gift to all girls on this planet." I was disgusted. Mike and Tyler made my skin crawl.

"No they don't. Besides, I think Mike has a thing for Rose. That's why they keep coming around." Alice got a twinkle in her eye that I haven't seen in days. Unfortunately, it was sparked by something that was never going to happen. Rosalie didn't like them any more than I did.

"Hey pretty lady," Mike said to Alice as he got to our table.

"Ugh." I tried to make the noise quietly but evidently I didn't.

"Hi Bella," Tyler said barely glancing in my direction.

I tuned them all out and grabbed my cell phone.

**I'm going 2 kill u 4 leaving me alone with these 2…B**

I pressed send and scanned the cafeteria. Anything to keep my attention away from the scene in front of me.

**Sorry. Had 2 keep him from walking in there…Rose**

**He better b worth all this…B**

**Trust me. They'll b great 2gether…Rose**

There she goes again with the 'trust me' stuff. I hope she's right.

**Fine. Btw Alice says Mike likes u…B**

**OMG tell me ur not serious…Rose**

**Unfortunately…B**

**Have 2 throw up now. We'll talk later…Rose**

I laughed to myself. I felt sorry for her that she was lucky enough to attract the attention of Mike Newton. The guy was a perv and had no problem proving it on a daily basis. I looked across the table and I felt the tension build. I wish they would just leave and not come back.

I was actually able to keep my mouth shut through the rest of lunch. Alice and I were sitting in study hall when I got what I was waiting for.

**Hey doll. I would love it if you would come to practice today. I play better with you there…J**

Once I saw the message the smile instantly popped up on my face. Now, I know I asked him to send me this but I never told him what to say. Part of me hoped that he really meant the words and they weren't just for Alice's benefit.

"Alice," I was hesitant to bring this up. I didn't know how she was going to react. "Can I ask you something?"

"What's up Bella?" She sounded distant.

"Alice…Ali…" She shot me a suspicious look. She knows I only call her Ali when I want something. "I want to go to watch the boys practice tonight. Will you come with me?"

"Why? There's no reason for us to be there." She completely dismissed my question.

"Well, Jake asked me if I would go." I paused to take a breath. "I don't want to go alone."

"Who cares what Jacob wants?" Bitterness colored her tone as she spoke.

"I care Alice. Look what he sent me." I showed her my phone so she could see what he wrote. "I want to be there for him."

"Bella, I'm here to watch out for you if you're not going to do it yourself." Her look was worried.

"Alice I got this, really. I told you…eyes open this time." I tried to reassure her. "But it does help to have my best friend with me to catch what I miss."

She rolled her eyes at me. "Please Ali, don't make me go alone. I want to you with me." I begged her shamelessly.

"Alright Bella. I'll go this time and this time only." I knew she wouldn't tell me no when I begged.

"Thank you Ali. You're the best friend ever." I started bouncing in my chair just as she would have done. I sent a message back to Jacob.

**Thanks. I'll see you at practice…B**

Before I closed my phone I sent another, and definitely more important, message.

**She's coming. I'm feeling better about this…B**

**It'll b great. Just wait…Rose**

* * *

I was sitting in journalism talking to Angela when she gasped and her mouth fell open. The look on her face made me laugh and I turned around to see what caused it.

He was moving to the desk to speak to Mr. Collins. He had a grace and confidence about him that came out in the way he moved. Just one look at him and I realized why Alice had been going on about him all year.

He was gorgeous, tall with a toned body. You can tell he keeps himself in great shape. His hair was sort of a golden color with lighter streaks mixed in making it the most amazing shade of blond I've ever seen. His eyes were the shade of a blue sky on a bright, cloudless day and his skin was the same cream color as Rosalie's.

I was overwhelmed by his appearance. I definitely hadn't expected someone so breathtaking. I began to think that he couldn't look better if he tried but then I was stunned into absolute stillness when he smiled. The smile completely changed his face. The confident look no longer dominated his features. With that smile his face brightened and became warm and inviting and he had the cutest dimples that drew you in.

"Oh my God! Who is he?" Angela's voice pulled me from my thoughts.

"His name is Jasper Whitlock," I told her. She looked confused as to how I knew that already.

"You know him." She sounded shocked.

"No, I've never met him before."

"Then how…?" She cocked her head to the side and just stared at me wondering how I would know who this was.

"He's my friend Rosalie's cousin," I blinked a few times just taking him in, "and Alice's new boyfriend." I don't know what made me say that. I think I was defending Alice's territory so no other girl could stake a claim before she got her chance. They still had to meet each other. However, Rosalie has assured me that Alice is definitely his type of girl.

He was walking to his desk but made a brief stop at mine. He bent down to speak to me, "Hello you must be Bella. Rose has told me a lot about you."

Wow. If there was anything that could have made him better, the voice did it. Smooth and soft with the slightest hint of a Texas drawl to it.

"Yes hello…um…you're Jasper. It's so nice to finally meet you." I thought of Alice when I spoke, "I've definitely heard a lot about you."

"All good I hope," he said as he smiled at me.

"Nothing but good don't worry." Damn! Alice is going to love him.

He stood up and dipped his head to me, "I look forward to talking with you again Bella."

"Me too Jasper," I told him as he walked back to his seat when class started.

After school, I met up with Alice at my locker before we headed to the field. I was nervous about what was going to happen next. Out of nowhere Rosalie was standing right beside me.

"Come on let's get out to the field. Bella, I know you're anxious to go see Jake." She winked at me and we both knew that he, for once, wasn't the reason I wanted to get there.

"Fine let's get this over with," Alice snapped. "I don't know why you bother Bella."

I just rolled my eyes and grabbed her by the hand. "Thanks for coming with me Alice. I'll repay the favor _soon_."

We walked to the field practically dragging Alice the whole way. She had her nose buried in a book and wasn't paying attention to where we were walking. She looked away from the book long enough to walk up the steps to the bleachers but she never once looked at the field. She sat herself down and continued reading.

The boys were still in the middle of their warm up exercises but you could see him as plain as day…if you were looking. We let her just sit there for a while hoping she would gain some interest in the field but it never happened.

I'm guessing Rosalie had a plan for this because, after about twenty minutes, she made a motion to Jasper the next time he looked in our direction. He grabbed the ball closest to him and kicked it.

It was a pretty hard kick because we were about forty yards from where he was and the ball bounced in the bleachers right in front of us. I jumped a little because I really didn't expect him to kick that far. Alice flinched but never took her nose out of the book.

The next thing I heard was Jasper voice. "Excuse me can one of you please throw me that ball?"

Rosalie nudged Alice's shoulder. "Alice can you get that ball for him?"

"You get it. I'm busy." Alice snapped and lifted her book higher.

Much like his cousin, Jasper took matters into his own hands. "Excuse me…you with the book…can you please toss that ball back to me?"

Alice dropped her head a little before the anger came into her voice, "Look I'm busy. I don't have time to…"

I watched her face as she lifted her head from the book and looked at Jasper. She just blinked her eyes and her mouth opened and closed a few times but no sound ever escaped her lips.

I looked over at Rosalie and said with a smirk, "You know Rose, it's a rare day when you catch Alice Brandon speechless." Rosalie just laughed at me.

He came around to the steps and climbed to where we were sitting. Alice still hadn't taken her eyes off him. He came right to where we were sitting to retrieve the soccer ball he so masterfully kicked into our area.

He stood in front of us for a second before Rosalie spoke up. "Alice this is my cousin, Jasper Whitlock. Jasper this is one of my new best friends, Alice Brandon."

Jasper reached out to grab her hand and the book fell to the ground. Still at a loss for words Alice watched as Jasper lifted her hand to kiss the back of it.

"It's so nice finally meet you Alice," he said with a wink. "Rose has told me so much about you."

Alice looked over at Rosalie with wide eyes. Rose just nodded her head toward Jasper and Alice looked back. She shook her head a bit and answered, "He…Hello Jasper. It's nice to meet you."

He flashed his smile at her and I noticed that he hadn't let go of her hand yet. I couldn't help the smile I had on my face. Alice was going to be fine. I could see it in both their eyes that they had an instant attraction to each other.

Rosalie cleared her throat. Jasper and Alice blinked bringing their attention back from wherever that look had taken them.

He shook his head a little, "I have to get back." He raised and kissed her hand again. "Until we see each other again Alice." He winked and took off to the field again.

Alice's eyes just followed him as he ran back to join the action on the field. Then she reached out and hit me and then Rosalie.

"Ow what was that for?" I said as I rubbed my arm.

"You knew and you didn't tell me." She turned her head to Rosalie, "Why didn't you tell me about him?"

"I didn't know anything about it until Friday night. Bella and I were talking while you were in the bathroom and we figured it out."

"And you let me sit for five days thinking I wasn't going to see him again?" Alice looked back and forth between us. "I knew something was up with you Bella but Rose…I had no idea."

"I'm sorry we kept it from you honey but we were trying to make it a surprise for you." I instantly felt bad for keep this from her for so long.

"So is that why you weren't at lunch today? You were keeping him from me," Alice accused Rosalie.

"Yes I did keep him away but I had a good reason," she said without regret. "I knew this was the better way for you to see him. From the way you described him, you were so in awe of him when he played that I knew this was were you needed to see him first."

Alice was still for a minute and then she threw her arms around Rosalie and then turned to me with a huge hug of my own. When she let me go I looked over at the field and I noticed Jasper was smiling up at us. This was a going to be a good thing for them.

* * *

A week went by and things were going well for all of us. Alice and Jasper, who had exchanged numbers after that first practice, became inseparable. Rosalie was right. Those two were absolutely perfect for each other. He had a calming personality, which fit with Alice because he kept her from getting too overly excited about everything.

We had fun getting to know him. He was a great guy. We found out that he lived in Texas until he was eight, which is where that cute drawl came from when he speaks. He, like me, loved to write but he was more into writing stories that could turn into books one day. He was only in journalism because he wanted to explore a different kind of writing to see if he liked it.

Jasper became a permanent fixture at our lunch table. Unfortunately so did Mike and Tyler. Tyler didn't seem too bad after a while but Mike was still a slimy perv that I didn't want anywhere near my friends or me.

Now that Alice was with Jasper, Mike's attention focused more on Rosalie. He kept trying to sweet talk her into going on a date with him. She didn't want any more to do with him than I did but he just didn't get the hint. We both dismissed him immediately as soon as we walked away from the lunch table everyday never giving him another thought.

The four of us hung out at my house after school a few days during the week just watching movies or listening and dancing around to some great music. The weekend came and we were cooking up some hamburgers on the grill for dinner. I actually invited Jacob to come over and eat with us but he said that he was hanging with his dad that night so he wasn't able to come.

Charlie was going to be home soon. He was actually at Jacob's house watching an afternoon baseball game with Billy, Jacob's dad. Jasper and Alice had the same game on in the living room so I knew it was over. I made sure the food was finished so we could sit down to eat as soon as Charlie walked in.

Fifteen minutes after the last out of the game Charlie walked through the door.

"Smells good Bells. What are we eating?" Charlie asked.

"I just grilled some hamburgers and made a pasta salad to go with it."

"Great I'm starving," he said as he past me to wash up.

The five of us were sitting at the table for dinner and the conversations flowed easily. Charlie and Jasper sat around talking about the game they had just watched. Alice and Rosalie were talking about some new clothing line coming out soon while I just ate and listened.

"Oh my God Bella!" Alice's voice rose a couple of octaves as the conversations in the room stopped. "I almost forgot your birthday," she screamed.

"It's not the end of the world Alice," I assured her. I don't celebrate my birthday much anymore. "Besides it is still four days away."

"I know but we haven't planned your party yet." Her eyes were wide and I could see her excitement.

"Alice please no party. Can't it be just the five of us just like today?" I hoped she would listen and not have a party for me. "That's all I want."

"Bella that's no fun. Come on, please." She begged.

"No Alice I don't want a party." I tried to be forceful with her.

"Alice," Jasper used his soothing voice that always seemed to work on her, "if she doesn't want a party then we can't make her."

I mouthed a thank you to him as he came to my rescue. Alice just pouted but agreed. She wasn't going to go against what Jasper said.

"Okay, if everyone is free Wednesday night then we'll go grab some dinner. How's that sound?" Charlie asked. He always made it a point to take the day off for my birthday. That was always a day that we would spend together.

"Actually Charlie," Jasper spoke up, "I have a game that day. I won't be available until after seven. You shouldn't wait for me."

"No that's okay." Charlie assured him. "We can wait. I wouldn't dream of tearing the girls away from that game." He looked at the three of us and smiled.

"Thanks dad. That would be perfect." I just smiled at him. My dad and best friends all together for my birthday would make my day. My little family seems to be growing and I love it.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you so much for reading and please take a few minutes to tell me what you think. Next Chapter...Edward leaves Bella something to wish for.**


	7. Happy Birthday To Me

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, musical content, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**As promised, Edward makes his appearance just in time for Bella's birthday. His presence leaves Bella wishing for more.**

**

* * *

****BPOV**

September thirteenth is just a normal day on the calendar these days. When I was younger and my mom was alive she would pull me out of school, Charlie would take off work and we would spend the day together before Alice would join us for dinner. When mom got sick Charlie didn't take me out of school anymore even though he still took the day off. After she died I didn't care about celebrating my birthday anymore. It just wasn't the same.

Charlie, Alice and I still went out to dinner. I was happy to spend time with them and that was really all I needed. Only Alice made a huge deal about my birthdays anymore.

I woke up Wednesday morning to a knock on my door. Charlie opened it a little and stuck his head in. I rolled over to see him come into my room.

"I'm sorry Bells. Did I wake you up?" He looked guilty.

"No dad, its fine. I already hit the snooze button twice." I stretched and sat up to talk to him.

"I just wanted to be the first one to tell you happy birthday." He stood there with a sheepish grin on his face. "I have your birthday breakfast all ready to go."

"Really? How long have you been up?" I didn't even notice that he was already dressed.

"Only about an hour or so." He shot me that grin again. "I wanted to do this for you. So get up and get ready. I'll be downstairs."

I smiled as he walked out the door. I jumped in the shower and got myself ready in record time. Waiting to get dressed until after I ate, I just threw on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. I walked down the stairs and my dad was putting my plate on the table as I entered the kitchen. He pulled out my chair for me so I sat down and let him serve me. I started to eat just as he handed me a big, plain white envelope.

"What's this?" I asked him turning the envelope over to open it.

"I decided that you would like this a lot more than a birthday present this year."

I just looked at him confused as I pulled out the contents of the envelope.

"Well you're fifteen now Bells and, as much as I hate to admit that my baby girl is growing up, its time for you to start learning how to drive."

"Are you serious?" I stared at him with wide eyes. I was shocked.

"Yes. I enrolled you in the next session of driver's ed classes starting in two weeks. It's a ten-week program and, once you finish, you can take the test for your permit. You have to hold your driver's permit for a year before you're allowed to take the test to get your driver's license."

I jumped out of my chair and threw my arms around his neck. "Thank you dad. This is awesome." I sat back down and started to look through the information. "I can't wait to tell Alice and Rose."

Charlie laughed, "Why don't you finish your breakfast first."

Reluctantly, I pushed the book aside and finished my food. I was excited and couldn't wait to share my news. I went back upstairs to put on the birthday outfit that Alice picked up for me when she went out on her shopping trip last week.

The outfit she bought for me was just my style; a pair of blue skinny jeans, with a dark blue silk halter and a white, cropped bomber jacket. It worked for me because it was cute and girly without being revealing.

I put on the matching canvas shoes that she bought to go with the outfit and bounced my way down the stairs. I heard my text alert as I was almost to the bottom and I ended up missing the last step and stumbling my way into the door. At least I didn't fall.

**Happy birthday beautiful. I love you…J**

I didn't send anything back knowing I would see him in ten minutes anyway. I just smiled as I gave my dad a hug goodbye and told him I would see him after the game. I took off for the bus stop excited to talk to Alice.

I was surprised when I got there. Jacob was waiting for me and we were the first two there again. His smile was so wide when he saw me that I smiled in spite of myself. He lifted me up into a tight hug and swung me around in a circle.

"Happy birthday doll." He stopped twirling me and lowered me to the ground. He just stood there holding me in his arms. "I wanted to get my time with you before anyone got here."

That just made my day. I couldn't ask for anything better. "What are you going to do now that you have me here?" I raised one eyebrow and gave him an evil smile.

"Holding you in my arms is enough," he said as he pulled me closer. I tightened my arms around him and just breathed in the scent of him as I buried my face in his chest.

A few minutes later we heard a muted conversation as the first kids started to show up. He released me and took a small step back. I brought us back to a normal conversation, "Are you ready for the game today?"

"Hell yeah. They aren't even going to be a problem." He was proud that his team was still undefeated while playing in such a tough league. They were confident but they had reason to be. They were really good.

"I'll be there cheering you on of course." I loved to watch him play.

"That just makes me play better." He winked at me and gave me that big smile again taking my breath away.

Just then my breath was fully knocked out of me as my best friend slammed into me wrapping me in a hug. "Happy birthday Bella."

"Thanks Alice but keep it down." I saw Jacob back away and turn his back on us. I felt my heart drop a little because, in those few minutes, we were closer to each other than we had gotten since the day the girls walked in on us.

"Whatever Bella." Alice rolled her eyes at me. "That outfit looks hot."

It was my turn for the eye rolling. "Sure. Hey you are never going to guess what Charlie did for my birthday." I was almost dancing around with excitement.

"To get you to act like this," she waved her hand at me, "it's got to be good."

"Charlie signed me up for driver's ed classes and twelve weeks from now I will have my permit. I can start learning how to drive."

She screamed and did her patented Alice bounce. "That's so awesome. You know you're going to have to take me for a ride."

"Don't you want to let me learn first," I was laughing and jumping around with her. We were getting crazy looks from everyone else there.

"No way Bella. I'm going to be there with you every step of the way." I just laughed at her. I should have known she would want to be there.

After we got to school I told Rosalie and Jasper the news and her reaction was about the same as Alice. Jasper of course was calmer and he just congratulated me. Because he was already fifteen, he already had his permit so he knew what I was going to go through.

I was on a high all day and was made even happier when my girls produced a single cupcake with a candle for me at lunch. I don't usually like people to know about my birthday but right now I just didn't care.

Unfortunately it didn't last. My mood was brought down with the appearance of Mike Newton. I leaned over to Rosalie and whispered, "For my wish this year, I wish that Mike would suffer from memory loss so he wouldn't remember to annoy us every day."

"Damn it Bella," she said as she slapped my arm, "now that you said it out loud it isn't going to come true." We both just laughed at each other as Mike took his seat.

"Hey Rose," Mike said in some version of what he thought was a sexy voice. "You ready for our game this Friday?"

"And why would I be?" she gave him her attitude.

"I think with the best looking girl in this school in the stands we would all play better." He winked at her.

"Why would I bother?" Rosalie looked disgusted. "When you win a game you let me know."

"Anything for you beautiful." He winked at her and ran his finger down her forearm.

"Can you not touch me?" Her voice rose as she yanked her arm away. This made Jasper take notice.

"Newton," Mike snapped his head around at the sound of Jasper's voice, "you touch any one of these girls again and you'll be dealing with me." His voice was quiet and cool and didn't really sound threatening. It was the look on Jasper's face that made Mike believe he was serious.

"Hey sorry man." He had both hands up in surrender. "I'll catch you later Rose."

"Oh joy," Rosalie said irritably as Mike walked away.

"Are you okay Rose," I asked because she looked like she could kill someone.

"I'm good. Why does he have to sit here everyday?" She sat with her arms crossed.

"I'll take care of him Rose. Don't worry," Jasper assured her and we all believed him.

* * *

I was standing in front of the school just before the lunch period ended. Charlie called to tell me he was going to bring me a few jackets and an umbrella because it was suppose to rain this afternoon during the game. He didn't want me and the girls to be out there unprepared.

Two cars pulled in at the same time and I walked up the Charlie's car after a brief glance back at the second car. I bent over to lean in the window grabbing the bag he had for me.

"Thanks dad. You didn't have to bring this down here. We would have been okay. Its only water." I shrugged trying to ease his concern.

"No one is getting sick on my watch Bells." He chuckled. He was overprotective at times.

"Yes sir." I gave him a salute. "Love you dad. I'll see you after the game."

"Love you too Bells."

I held the bag and jogged back inside. It was almost time for the bell to ring and I didn't want to be late. A few steps ahead of me there were three men walking in one of the open doors. I didn't want to be late so I ran through the door next to the one they used. As it always goes in my life, I accidentally ran into the shorter one of the three on my way in and I lost my footing. I stumbled a bit but, like this morning, I thankfully didn't fall.

I turned to him quickly, "I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"

He lifted his head and our eyes locked. A second, that felt like it could have been a year, passed before he spoke.

"I'm fine. It's a good thing you're not any bigger or that might have hurt." He laughed and gave me a smile that left me breathless.

_Holy cow. This guy is gorgeous and that voice. I thought Jasper had a nice voice._ _This guy could give him a run for his money._

"Um…I have to go. I'm late." _Why did I tell him that? Why would he care?_ I turned and ran towards my locker. I had to slow down to a walk as one of the teachers gave me that 'stop running in the halls' look. Now that I was walking, I did a quick turn to see if I could still see him. I just got a glimpse of him as he walked into the office.

_Oh well. _I grabbed my stuff for my last two classes and took off to study hall.

"You should have seen him Alice. He was so hot!" I was trying to tell her about the boy I just bumped in to.

"Well what did he look like?" Alice's curiosity almost brought her out of her chair.

"He was…beautiful, if you can describe a boy that way. He has these features like someone took the perfectly chiseled statue of a Greek god and made it human. His smile took my breath away and he has what look like the softest lips you can ever hope to kiss in your life. He's slightly tanned but he's not dark. His skin is maybe a shade darker than Jasper's."

I stopped to take a breath because I was getting myself worked up. Alice was sitting on the edge of her seat now as she listened.

"He's tall but not quite as tall as the two guys he was with. He seemed pretty solid too." She just looked confused by that statement. "I mean when I ran into him he didn't even budge but I was knocked back a few steps. He definitely wasn't as big as the guy with the dark brown hair but he wasn't small either. There were definitely muscles hiding behind the clothes he was wearing. But that's not even the best part about him."

I had to tell her about his most amazing feature and the one that unsettled me more than anything else.

"Aside from his good looks and his muscles, he has the most stunning eyes. They were almost an emerald green but the color was softer somehow. And when we first looked at each other, it was like he saw _into_ me. I felt it too like I could look right into his heart if I tried. It was a strange feeling."

Alice just sat and listened as I tried to describe that strange feeling that I had when I looked at him. "I know it sounds weird but I don't know how else to describe it."

"I don't even know what to say to that," Alice looked shocked. "Is there anything else?"

"Only one other thing…the voice." I smiled as I remembered it. "His voice was soft like velvet and sent shivers down my back when he spoke."

"Wow! I have to see this guy. He sounds incredible."

"I don't see how. I'm sure he doesn't go to school here. We would have seen him by now if he did. It's too bad though. I wouldn't mind seeing him everyday."

She got a sly look on her face. "Yeah you could even date him." She mumbled the next sentence. "Anyone is better than Jacob." She said it so low that I'm sure it wasn't meant for me to hear but I did.

I decided to let it go. The strange thing is that Jacob never once entered my thoughts until Alice brought him up. I was so focused on the beautiful boy I had the pleasure of running into. He consumed my thoughts completely.

* * *

After school we all met by my locker before heading to the game. Alice gave Jasper a kiss before he jogged off to get ready. She was happy and I was glad that everything seemed to be going well for her. When Rosalie showed up Alice and I just exchanged confused looks.

"What's up with you Rose?" Alice asked trying to figure out what gave her the look that was planted on her face.

"Yeah you look you're on cloud nine." I've never seen her look like this. Here eyes were glossy and there was a huge smile on her face that didn't seem to want to go away.

"I think I'm love." She said breathlessly.

"Excuse me!" I'm sure my eyes grew to three times their size when she said that. "Explain please?"

"I don't know where he came from. I was standing by my locker and Mike was bothering me again. Out of nowhere there was this big guy who slammed his fist into the locker right behind Mike's head."

"Tell me he hit him." That would have definitely been something I wanted to see.

"No unfortunately but he scared him pretty bad. He got right up in Mike's face and just glared down at him with the scariest look I've ever seen. He told Mike 'You don't speak to a lady that way and, if I catch you again, you will not like what I do to you.'" Her eyes were wide as she explained what happened.

Alice and I just stared at her not knowing what to say to that.

"Mike ran off and I could swear he was about wet his pants. Then the guy took a step closer to me, lifted my face to look at him and he smiled. He looked me right in the eye and said 'Don't worry beautiful lady. That guy won't bother you ever again.'" Rosalie let out a long sigh. "Then he walked away. I don't even know who he is."

"That's kind of what happened to me," Alice said as she remembered back to when she first saw Jasper. "The only difference is that he actually talked to you.

"I don't know which is worse though Alice, having only a picture in my head or the picture that will continue to call me beautiful."

"Neither one I guess." It was an honest answer because who really wanted to live with the dream of a guy they can never have. I felt bad for her. I didn't want her to go through the same thing Alice did. Once was hard enough on all of us.

"Come let's get out there so we can get a good seat." I grabbed Rosalie by the hand and led her away from the lockers.

Our conversation and laughing was loud enough to echo off the walls as we made our way to the field. The path we took led us past the door to the locker room. As we rounded the corner I saw someone run through the door headed outside. A head of long black hair was visible as the door swung closed. I got this strange feeling in my chest and my hands started to shake a little. I didn't know what was wrong with me so I just shook my head out a little to get a grip on myself and let the feeling go.

We made our way to our seats and, thanks to Charlie, we were the only girls there with coats and an umbrella which was good because it was starting to drizzle. There was still thirty minutes before game time and our team was still in the locker room.

About five minutes after we sat down the music started to play and our boys ran out onto the field. The crowd started cheering wildly as they were getting ready. I found myself more excited to watch the games this year. We've watched so many of their practices now that Alice was with Jasper that I found myself actually liking soccer. Not only that, I loved to watch Jacob play. He was great in the goal and has yet to let another team score. Today is their fourth game and it's against one of our rival schools…or so I'm told. This would be a big win for them.

Jasper and Sam made their way to the center of the field as the referee called the captains together for the coin toss.

While they were doing that my focus went to Jacob. The boys were warming up and taking some shots on the goal. He saved every one that came his way. He looked good. He was ready for this game.

"Damn, who are those guys talking to Jasper?" Alice's voice interrupted my ogling.

I turned my head and my mouth dropped open.

"That's him!" Rosalie and I said at the same time. We looked at each other and then at Alice.

"Alice that's the guy I told you about." I was stunned.

"And the big one is the one that scared Mike off." Rosalie was just as surprised.

I couldn't believe it. The beautiful boy that had found himself a place in my head all day was standing on the field talking to Jasper. _Why the hell is he talking to Jasper?_ My mind was racing. If Jasper knew him then he could tell me all about him.

"You've got to be kidding me. That's them?" Alice said looking back and forth from us to the boys.

"If Jasper knows them he's got to get me that guy's number," Rosalie said in her demanding voice. "How could he keep someone like that a secret from me?"

"You and Jasper are exactly alike," Alice commented. She was no doubt referring to Rosalie and me keeping Jasper from her. Rosalie just grinned at her.

Just then I saw Jasper motion toward us and the two strangers looked in our direction. The beautiful boy I seemed to be so infatuated with just smiled. The big one smiled and pointed directly at Rosalie. I could only imagine what was being said.

Evidently saying goodbye, Jasper slapped their hands and gave each one a fist bump before running back on to the field. Since I couldn't take my eyes off of them I saw when they turned back and looked at us again. Even at this distance my eyes locked with those beautiful green ones. I don't think I've ever felt myself blush so much. This one felt like my entire neck and face was the deepest crimson color.

I knew Alice and Rosalie were talking next to me but I didn't really pay attention to what they were saying. I forced myself to look away and turn my attention to the field. That didn't last long though. My attention was almost immediately brought back to him. Only this time both boys and a blond man were talking to the coach. After a few minutes they all shook hands and the three of them made their way up to the bleachers as far from us as possible.

* * *

Forty minutes into the game our team was up two to zero and the other team was heading down the field to try to score. The player with the ball had dribbled down the field and now only had Sam and Paul to beat before he could take a shot at the goal.

One of their other players broke free and received a pass from the guy who had the ball. He was far enough away from Sam that he had a clear shot…and he took it. The crowd went wild as Jacob pushed the ball up so it sailed over the crossbar.

This caused the team to get a corner kick. Jacob put the team in their places to give the best defense for the kick. The kick went straight to Jacob and he caught it. Jasper immediately raced down the field. Jacob kicked the ball about fifty yards and it landed about ten feet in front of Jasper.

Jasper won the sprint to the ball and used a couple of great moves to get around their defenders. He seemed to be at an impossible angle to the goal when he took his shot. The ball curved and sailed a few inches above the goalie's hands and into the net.

Again the crowd went wild. I was cheering along with Alice and Rosalie and I looked over at Jacob. He was excited and was giving high fives to Sam, Paul and Embry. He went back to his goal and look over at me with a huge smile on his face. I used our signal to send him my love. He sent it back and got ready for the game to start again.

The half ended shortly after that and the team walked off the field. I watched Jacob as he walked off the field to head to the locker room. They walked through the opening in the bleachers and I saw him reach up into the stands on the opposite side from where we were sitting.

I stopped breathing. I watched as Jacob locked hands with _her_. I felt a tightening in my chest as he let go and walked away without even looking in my direction. Not even ten minutes ago he looked at me and gave me our signal that meant he loved me. Now here he was holding hands with Leah Clearwater with me sitting twenty feet away.

Eyes open. That's what I told myself when I started this with Jacob again. I would see it all this time and I would use my head but that didn't mean my heart wouldn't try to be heard.

_God I'm so stupid. He is still with her and he's playing me again._

_**No Bella. Hear his side of it first before you freak out.**_

_What side could there be? I just saw it for myself._

_**Bella he told you he loved you. Ask him first. Give him a chance to explain.**_

I sat back down now that my breath had returned. I was breathing heavy and I just wanted to leave. I didn't think I could sit through the rest of this game. I couldn't make the girls leave now because Charlie wasn't picking us up for another hour. I fought hard to control myself and not let any tears fall.

It only took a few minutes before I realized that I was losing that battle. I told the girls I would be right back and I headed out to take a quick walk before the game started again. I had to clear my head and I wasn't going to do it sitting that close to her.

I should have known when I had that feeling before the game. As soon as I saw that hair through the closing door I should have known it was her. _How could I be so blind?_ I felt my legs start to shake and I knew I wasn't going to be able to stand too much longer. I slid down next to the wall of the school and rested my head on my knees. I couldn't hold it in anymore and started to cry.

"Are you okay?" I heard a muffled voice ask me.

"Fine," I said without lifting my head.

"You don't seem like your fine. Can I help?" I felt a warm sensation in my arm.

I looked to the side and there was a hand resting just above my elbow. I looked up and found myself staring into a pair of green eyes. This made me feel even worse because this beautiful boy was now seeing me at my worst. I put my head back down because I couldn't stop crying.

"Please go away?" I asked. He shouldn't see me like this.

"I don't want to just leave you here like this. Please let me help." I looked up again and he was looking at me with concern even though he didn't know me.

I tried to stand so I could get as far away from him as possible before I made a bigger fool of myself. He very gently helped me to my feet. He started to speak but I couldn't let him. I had to get away.

"I have to go." I was still crying so my voice wasn't very steady.

I tried to take a step away but he grabbed my wrist so I couldn't leave. I looked up at him again and he was just staring into my eyes. I could see a trace of sadness in his face and before I knew what happened he pulled me to his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight.

It felt so good and my arms moved around his waist without my permission. Now, the warmth I felt on my arm when he touched me flowed through my entire body. It was the strangest sensation I can ever remember feeling.

He just stood there holding me not caring that my tears were probably ruining his shirt. I felt his hand begin to stroke my hair trying to calm me. Neither one of us spoke as we stood there. I just held on like he was my lifeline and I would lose my grip on my emotions if I let go.

I don't know how long we stood there but I finally calmed myself down enough to pull away from him. I looked up at him and saw his concern still etched on his face.

"I think I'm okay now. I better get back to my friends before they come looking for me." A small smile came to his lips as I said this to him.

He put his hands on either side of my face and used his thumbs to wipe the tears away. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'll be fine. Please don't worry about me. You helped me so much already." I could only smile as I stared at his beautiful face.

He brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my arms and grabbed my hands. The warm feeling that came with his touch was joined by a tingling sensation as his hands made their way down my arms.

"I didn't do anything. But whatever you think I did, it was my pleasure." His smile grew wider as he said this.

I reluctantly pulled my hands from his and stepped to the side so I could walk around him. I took a few steps away from him before I turned back around. "Thank you." It was all I could say to him.

I turned and jogged back to the field leaving him standing there. I stopped in the bathroom to throw some water on my face so the girls wouldn't know I was crying. Once I looked presentable I made my way back to my seat.

"Took you long enough," Alice said. "The game's almost over already."

_No way. I wasn't gone that long._ I turned and looked at the game clock and sure enough there was only fifteen minutes left in the game. I can't believe I was gone for forty-five minutes. I thought I was coming back just as the second half started. I had no idea I had spent that long with him.

"I was taking a walk. I must have lost track of time." I was surprised. How long had we just stood there with him holding me? At the time it felt like only a few minutes. How did I lose that much time?

I looked over to the other end of the bleachers and saw him talking to the big guy and pointing at me. The big one smiled and slapped him on the back. It was one of those 'way to go' gestures that men use when they're congratulating each other for something.

"Sure you were Bella," Alice said sounding like she was accusing me of something.

"What's that suppose to mean?" I asked harshly.

"If you don't want to tell us about you and the hottie over there then that's fine but don't lie to our faces about it." Alice's tone was cutting.

"How…" I started but Rosalie cut me off.

"I went to look for you when the game started again since you didn't come back. I got as far as the fence when I saw you two hugging. I didn't want to interrupt so I came back to tell Alice that you were fine."

"You may not think I was paying attention but I saw Jacob grab Leah's hand as he left the field." Alice was looking me in the eye now. "I know you left because you were upset. But how did you manage to end up in the arms of that sexy guy over there?"

I told them all the details of what happened. They listened without saying a word which kind of surprised me. My friends were always full of questions. When I was done Alice was the first to speak.

"So what's his name?"

My brow furrowed as I answered, "I don't know. I was so caught up in him that I didn't think to ask."

"Bella, what am I going to do with you?" Alice just laughed.

Rosalie had to join in, "Damn it Bella. I was hoping now that you seemed to be such good friends with him that you could get the other guy's phone number."

I rolled my eyes and laughed at her. "Sorry babe…you're going to have to get that one all by your pretty little self."

* * *

The game ended and we had just enough time for Jasper to shower and change before Charlie came to pick us up for dinner. I unfortunately didn't see the green-eyed boy again.

We ended up at Outback Steakhouse for dinner. I knew Charlie loved to eat there and I was sure Jasper would appreciate it after the team's victory today.

We were seated at the table and, after the waitress took our orders, I listened as Jasper recapped the game for Charlie. Of course Alice and Rosalie added their own commentary filling in some of the blanks if Jasper missed any details.

The waitress brought our orders and we all dug in. The steaks were good here and I couldn't stop my eyes from rolling as I took my first bite. The conversations were flowing just as easily as they had when we were sitting around my kitchen table.

Charlie got up and excused himself for a minute. As soon as he left, Alice and Rosalie bombarded Jasper with questions.

"Who were those guys?" Alice asked.

"What's the big guy's name?" Rosalie wanted to know.

"How do you know them?" Alice spoke again.

"Where do they go to school?" Rosalie asked.

"Hey, hey one at a time ladies." Jasper just laughed at their excitement. "Alice, to answer your first question their names are Emmett and Edward Cullen. Rose, Emmett is the big guy." Jasper laughed again as he said this.

"Okay so how do you know them?" Alice asked again.

"You know I played in that tournament in California a couple of weeks ago right?" He asked Alice.

"Yeah I know."

"All of the teams in the tournament were staying in the same hotel out there. I ended up meeting them after breakfast one morning. We would say hello in passing everyday. Then our teams ended up playing each other in the final game." He shrugged. Details like this were never interesting to a guy. It was only the girls that ever cared about this stuff.

"I was impressed by the way they played and, as it turns out, so were they. We went down to dinner afterward to discuss the game and we became friends I guess. They actually live in California so I was surprised them at the game today."

"You didn't ask why they were here." Rosalie asked him.

"No I didn't have a chance. I had a game to get ready for remember." He laughed. "I do have some questions of my own though."

We all looked at him wondering what he would want to know. He looked directly at me.

"Bella what were your doing wrapped around Edward at halftime?" He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"Oh God…you saw that?" I felt the blush creep up to my cheeks.

"And why would Jake care so much? Sam and Paul had to practically tackle Jake to keep him from going after you two."

I looked over at Alice. "You didn't tell him."

She shook her head at me. "It's not my story Bella. Besides, my feelings about Jacob would definitely color the story a little bit."

"I'll tell you someday when we have more time. For now, let's just say that he kept me from falling off a cliff today." I lowered my eyes to the table for a minute. When I looked back up, Jasper looked confused.

Charlie came back then and sat down with a grin on his face. A few minutes later a group from the wait staff brought over a piece of cake with a candle in it and sang happy birthday to me. I was looking around the room completely embarrassed by the singing.

While I scanned the room my eyes fell on the beautiful face of Edward Cullen. He and the other two were walking toward the door to leave. He stopped moving as our eyes locked again. I smiled and felt the blush in my cheeks as he looked at me.

Charlie nudged my shoulder to get my attention. I focused back on Edward looking him right in the eye just before I blew my candle out.

"I wish…" I said just before I closed my eyes and finished the thought in my head. _I wish I could see those beautiful green eyes everyday. _

I opened my eyes and I blew out my candle. Edward smiled and mouthed 'happy birthday' as Emmett, pulled his arm to make him leave.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks again for reading. Send me a few words to let me know what you think. **

**I was thinking about doing the next chapter to Edward's POV to see what brought him here but I'm not sure yet. I have two possible chapter's that I'm working on and I don't know which one will work best for the next chapter. We'll see how it goes.**


	8. From Agner to Something Else

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, musical content, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: I had to give Edward his say and tell his side of things. Sorry I took too long to get this out.**

* * *

**EPOV**

"Edward, come back down here!" my dad called from the living room.

_Leave me alone. __You already made your choice. You don't need me._

I slammed and locked the door to my room and turned the stereo on to drown him out. I'm done talking about this shit. 'Animals' by Nickelback is blaring through the speakers now as I try to keep from hearing what's going on downstairs.

Bang Bang Bang.

_Of course he sent him to come and get me. He can pound on my door all he wants to._ I just throw the pillow over my face and listen to the music filling the room.

"Don't make me break this damn door down 'cause you know I'll do it," Emmett's booming voice yells from the other side of the door.

My response…I turned the stereo up another few notches.

"Fine," I heard Emmett yell not two seconds before I heard the first kick hit the door.

Emmett…downstairs…now was all I heard.

Of course my mom wasn't going to stand for that kind of behavior. I can't believe he even attempted it. My mom, always the level headed one, showed up just in time to stop Emmett's assault on my door and just used an extra key to unlock it.

_Damn, I thought I found all the copies of that stupid key._

The door opened and I heard my mom's voice, "Edward, come back down. We aren't finished discussing this."

"There's nothing to talk about mom," I told her through the pillow still over my face. With the music as loud as it was, I seriously doubt she heard me let alone understood me.

She turned the stereo off and the pillow was pulled away just before she sat next to me.

"Edward, honey this doesn't have to be a bad thing. Just come down and listen to what your father has to say." She was always trying to be the peacemaker. "This is, by no mean, a done deal. We just wanted you both to be prepared."

I just stared at the ceiling. I had nothing to say.

"Come on honey. Let's finish this discussion like adults please." She knew that would get me. I'm fifteen now. She knows how much I wanted them to stop treating me like a kid.

"Alright fine," I said as I rolled my eyes and got out of bed. I felt the slap to the back of my head. Nothing hard. It was just enough to get my attention.

"Don't roll your eyes at me Edward Cullen."

"Sorry mom."

We walked downstairs where my dad was waiting. He leaned forward in his chair when I came into his view. I knew I had to apologize or I would earn myself another one of my mom's little slaps to the head.

"Sorry dad." I flopped myself down onto the couch so I could listen to the rest of his plan to ruin my life.

"Edward, I know you're angry about this. Chief of surgery an amazing opportunity for me and I would be remiss if I didn't try for it. But this isn't even definite." My dad was trying to make it sound better but it wasn't working. "The final decision has yet to be made."

"So we have what…three months maybe four before you know for sure. How's that supposed to make this better?" I couldn't understand his logic.

"Yes it would be about that long." He confirmed.

"Right, just enough time to settle in and get used to a new school before we have to leave it and try to fit in somewhere else." I raised my voice a little at the end.

"Hey don't lump me into your problem Edward. I'm excited to go try out those Colorado slopes." Of course Emmett wouldn't be bothered by this. He always rolled with the punches.

"We just started high school dad. Isn't that hard enough without having to feel like we're starting twice in the same year." It's hard to believe he didn't see the problem with this.

He gave me a little smirk. "You'll be fine Edward. You wouldn't have any problem fitting in." He looked at my mom and she nodded her head at him. "You're mom and I have actually come up with a plan to see if we could make this easier for you."

I was skeptical. I wasn't sure this could be made better. "You think you could make this better? You're trying to move us from our home, our friends and our life here. And to Colorado no less with their cold ass winters and summers filled with tornados."

My parents laughed at that before my dad spoke. "Edward, there aren't tornados in the city. They're in the outlying counties. If there is one, then it is a very rare occurrence."

"But there's no beach in Colorado." I tried another excuse.

My mom spoke up. "Edward you spend every available minute on the soccer field. When exactly do you spend time at the beach?" Damn it. She knew I didn't go to the beach.

Emmett laughed. "You're bombing dude. Keep going. It's fun to watch you squirm." I'm glad to see that he thinks this is funny.

"Edward, just give me a minute and you'll see the benefits of what we have planned," my dad said.

"Fine." I leaned my head back on the couch. I wasn't winning so I gave up.

"Well, I have to make a trip to meet with the hospital director next week." He stopped to take a quick breath. "Your mother and I thought it would be best if you and Emmett came with me to check out some schools out there. That way you both can at least have a say in what school you go to."

I sat up and looked at him to see if he was kidding. "You would give us a choice?" Even Emmett sat up looking interested in this news.

"Of course. You both have asked us a million times to treat you like adults. So we've decided since you will be the one's attending the school then the two of you can choose the school."

"What's the catch?" I wasn't letting them off that easy.

"Well, we've done our research of the schools in the area and have narrowed down which schools you will have to choose from." My dad could be devious sometimes. I knew there was something.

"So basically we get to choose from your pre-approved list of schools. What were the factors you used to narrow down these schools?" I couldn't help myself. I was being difficult simply because I didn't want to move.

"We want you to have the best education of course. So we had to make sure the schools were academically ranked at or near the school you currently attend."

I cocked one eyebrow and was ready to jump in. He stopped me because he knew where my mind was headed.

"We also have taken those schools and narrowed them down even further to those with the best athletic programs. And before you ask, one of those schools has the best soccer team in the state right now."

He knew how to get me. He was just like my mom in some ways. To play on a team now that was ranked the best in the state would open the doors for me. The top ranked teams are the ones the college scouts _make_ time to see. A top ranked college would get me that much closer to my long-term goal of going pro and playing in the MLS. It's all I've wanted since I was five years old.

"Hell yeah. That's what I'm talking about." Emmett's excitement broke my train of thought.

I tried to play off some of the enthusiasm that I was starting to feel now. I shrugged. "I guess. We'll see when we get there."

* * *

"Edward, hurry the hell up already." Emmett was waiting very impatiently by the hotel room door. "I want to get in a workout before dad gets back."

"Calm the fuck down. I'm coming." I grabbed the room key and we headed out to find the workout room. I was never a fan of going to the gym. Emmett got me to start going last year. I've kept going since then because I noticed the positive changes in my game.

Dad just left for his meeting and we had a couple of hours before he would be coming back. That gave us enough time to get in an hour workout and get cleaned up. Once he gets here we were going to start hitting some of the local schools.

We got to the gym and I found my release. I had so much frustration built up due to this entire situation that I needed this. I almost matched Emmett pound for pound. He's bigger than I am and able to life more weight of course but I held my own for once.

I started winding down and decided to hit the treadmill for a quick two-mile run. After a few minutes Emmett decided to jump on the machine next to me. He kept turning his head to look at me and it was starting to bug me.

"What?" I was tired of the staring.

"What's really bugging you Ed?" He sounded concerned. "This can't be just about school."

I took a deep breath. "I don't want to leave Em. I like our school and our team is pretty good this year." I slowed the machine down a little so we could talk. "I don't want to get settled and then have to leave everything."

"That's it? School and soccer?"

I shrugged.

"Edward I know you better than that."

"Just say what you're going to say then." I knew where this was going.

"Your whole attitude. This is about Jane isn't it?" Emmett asked the question about the one subject I didn't want to talk about.

I frowned. "I don't want to talk about Jane." I picked up the pace again and started running harder.

Jane is sixteen and has been my girlfriend for the last eight months now. She's awesome and with her it's like I have the best of both worlds. I have the pretty girl who acts like a lady when we go places together and the girl who can hang out like she's one of the guys. She also understands my obsession with soccer because she has her own desires of playing volleyball in the Olympics. There's never the fight over who practices more and why we don't get to spend a lot of time together. We're perfect for each other.

"Edward, you know I like Jane," Emmett assures me, "but you just have to face the fact that you might have to leave her."

"I said I don't want to talk about it." Yes I was angry about leaving Jane. She's the biggest reason I don't want to move even if I won't admit it to my parents.

"That's fine. Just give these schools a chance and don't ruin this for dad. He's really excited about this." There he goes again sounding like the wise older brother.

"Don't worry Em. I'll be on my best behavior," I said trying to put his mind at ease. "Now let's finish so we can get cleaned up before dad gets back."

We were sitting in the room just watching ESPN when dad walked in. The look on his face can only be described as ecstatic so I'm guessing the meeting went well. This move seemed like more of a reality now. I can see it in his face. I felt my shoulders fall a little.

"Looks like the meeting went well," Emmett nodded toward him.

"Yes it went very well. I love the hospital. The staff seems to be really nice." I could see the gleam in his eye. His excitement was rolling off of him. This was going to happen.

_Fuck my life._

* * *

We visited three schools the first day. I haven't found one yet that I would even consider going to. This wasn't even a product of my bad mood either. I wasn't impressed with the schools at all and the athletic directors seemed more intent on recruiting us, Emmett especially, to the football team instead of answering our questions about the soccer team.

Tomorrow had to be a better day. We have three more schools to visit and luckily one of them was the school I was the most interested in.

We started early. We got to the first school at eight-thirty and met with the principal. This place wasn't bad. The school didn't feel so much like an institution and the kids were interacting with the teachers and deans in a more relaxed manner than the other schools. This could be a possibility.

The second school also wasn't bad but as soon as Emmett saw the condition of the school's weight room. The school was out of the question.

We stopped for an early lunch because Emmett was going to die if he didn't eat soon. We sat around talking about the schools we had seen so far. Dad was trying to point out the good things but Emmett and I were both shooting down his points for one reason or another.

We finished our lunch and headed to the final school of the day. I really hope this one is worth it. To play on this soccer team for the next few years would be a big plus for me.

We pulled into the circle drive in front of the school behind another car and parked in a visitor's space. I glanced up and saw a girl with nice long brown hair standing on the sidewalk. Dad got out of the car a second before we moved.

"Nice," Emmett said about the girl. "Edward, check out that ass."

She ducked her head into the window of the car ahead of us. She shifted her feet, which made her ass sway behind her. We were out of the car by then walking to the school.

"Put it away Emmett," I said.

"Like you weren't looking." He shoved my shoulder a little.

"Never said I wasn't." I was definitely looking but I'm not going to be so crude about it. I took another quick look before we got to the doors.

Dad and Emmett walked through the door first. I was walking a few steps behind them and, just as I made it through the door, I felt someone slam into me. I took a slight step to the side as the hit jarred me a little.

I looked over and the girl with the brown hair was stumbling. She straightened herself up before she could fall on her face. I had to look down to control the laugh that was about to escape.

"I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" a soft voice asked.

I looked up at the sound of her voice and my breath caught in my throat. I was staring into the most beautiful brown eyes I have ever seen. The deep chocolate color was almost fluid. They were expressive and conveyed the apology that came with her words. Her eyes captivated me but I knew I had to respond to her.

The smile that formed on my lips was almost involuntary as I stared at her. I laughed a little in an attempt to clear my head before I spoke. "I'm fine. It's a good thing you're not any bigger or that might have hurt."

I watched as she smiled and turned the cutest shade of pink in her embarrassment.

_God she's beautiful._

"Um…I have to go. I'm late."

_Wait!_

She ran away from me then. I couldn't do or say anything. I was frozen in place just staring after her. I wanted to watch her until she was out of site but my dad called me into the office.

"Dude, was that…?" he asked me about the girl as I walked through the door.

"That was the girl from outside." I nodded toward the door. "You know…the one whose ass you wouldn't stop looking at."

I was actually annoyed by his behavior. Now that I've seen the girl and talked to her I didn't like the way he talked about her. It was a crazy feeling but I didn't want him or anyone saying anything bad about her.

In a few minutes we were ushered into the principal's office. Mr. Dominic Davis, who looked to be in his early forties, didn't look like the type of man who ran a school. Where was the suit and tie? He was dressed in a nice polo shirt and slacks. He appeared to be really laid back.

"Good afternoon Mr. Cullen. It's a pleasure to meet you." He seemed nice enough.

"Mr. Davis…please call me Carlisle." Dad shook his hand before he motioned to us. "These are my sons, Emmett and Edward."

"Emmett…Edward." He reached out to shake our hands as well. "Please call me Dom or, if you don't feel comfortable with that, Mr. D will work," he chuckled. "I like to keep things laid back around here. It strengthens the relationship with the students."

"So Dom…" Dad hesitated. I know it bothered him to address Mr. Davis with such familiarity in their first meeting. "My wife and I have researched many schools in the area and yours seems to be so academically focused. How do feel that your school differs from others in the area?"

"Well Carlisle, I've made it a point to surround myself with a staff that believes the same way I do. It is our job to make sure every student that passes through our doors can make a life in this world. An academically sound program stimulates the mind and creates students who have the knowledge base to properly handle the outside world." He paused for a moment before continuing. "It has also been our intention to create an environment for our students which helps move them along the way to becoming the responsible adults they are expected to be when they leave here."

Dad processed that for a minute before he spoke. "That's very commendable. What steps have you taken to make this happen?"

"I have tried to model my school to function as any college or university would. It is made know to the students on their very first day that they are responsible for their own education here. We are not babysitters and we have very high expectations for our students. This in no way means that we ignore a problem if one exists. Students are monitored so if we recognize a problem with school work or signs of other personal issues a counselor will step in and work individually with students to get them back on track."

Dad sat forward in his chair as he posed his next question. "How does your program differ for athletes? I don't mean to sound accusatory in any way but does your program treat athletes differently? My sons are heavily into sports and I need to know that their education will be no different than any other student in this school."

Wow he just really laid that out there. _Way to be subtle dad._

"That's a very good question and I'm glad you asked. There are many schools around that will give their star athletes a break in their studies to make sure they can keep playing. Let me assure you, we do not do that here."

He pulled some papers out of his desk and handed them to us. It was their athletic policy. Dad started flipping through it.

"Again our main focus is on the student's education. If you look at pages four and five of our athletic policy you can see how our academic requirements differ from that of the high school sports association. Our requirements are more stringent than the state requirements. We don't want our students to think they can just _get by_ with the minimum amount of work. We have mandatory study sessions that all athletes must attend no matter how well or how poorly they are performing in their classes. Teachers are also required to submit weekly grades for those students participating in sports to make sure they are meeting all expectations. Our athletes are students first. Playing sports is a privilege that needs to be earned."

"Thank you for all of this information. It sounds like you have an amazing program here." Dad seemed satisfied with the answers he got for all his questions. "Boys, do you have anything you wish to ask?"

Emmett and I shook our heads. "No sir."

"Great. I'm glad I was able to answer all of your questions. Remember, however, my door is always open and I return every phone call as promptly as I can if you have any other questions you wish me to answer for you." He stood from his chair and motioned towards the door. "Now let me take you on a tour of our school."

We got up and followed him as he showed us different areas around the campus. The school was nice enough and I really started liking Mr. Davis. He seemed like just a regular guy that you could hang out and talk to. He makes you feel comfortable around him.

After our tour we were brought in to meet with the athletic director, Mr. Richard Gonzalez.

"Mr. Gonzalez," my dad nodded as he shook his hand.

"Rich…please. I hate formalities." He smiled as he looked over at us.

"Then please call me Carlisle." He motioned to us. "These are my sons, Emmett and Edward."

"Please to meet you," he said. "Please take a seat. How may I help you?"

"Well, my sons are very involved in soccer. We wanted to hear more about your program." Dad got right down to business.

A smile spread across his face as he responded. "To be quite honest, the soccer program is our biggest claim to fame right now. Most school athletic programs center around their football teams but that is not true here. Our team has struggled for years and we haven't been able to turn it around just yet. The soccer team, however, brings in the most revenue. We have been very fortunate that we found a coach who is very passionate about the game and pushes the kids just enough to make them a complete team." He paused a second to look over at Emmett and me. "Our team has won the state championship for the past two years and for the four years before that we never finished lower than fourth."

"Nice." I nodded my head and looked over at Emmett. He was doing the same.

Dad smiled. He knew we liked what we were hearing. "Boys, I'm sure you have some questions for Mr. Gonzalez."

I spoke up first. "Yes thank you. Mr. Gonzalez with your team being so popular, I'm sure you have a varsity and junior varsity team. Is that correct?"

"Yes that's correct."

"How do you determine who plays on which team?" I needed to know because varsity is my ultimate goal here.

"Well Edward, our varsity team is comprised mainly of our junior and senior players. They have been in the program the longest and they generally have the better skills. However, if one of our younger players demonstrates exceptional skills and looks as if he can hold his own with the varsity team, he may get a trial run on the team and be placed there if there is an injury to another player."

"So we can move up if we work harder?" Emmett felt the need to simplify that statement.

"Yes but, as freshman, you would have to be extremely good to even think of taking the spot of one of the upperclassmen. We don't just move someone up arbitrarily. There has to be a need and available position for him."

"Sounds fair but how likely is it to happen?" I asked before I got my hopes up.

"Well it's very possible actually. We have three players right now that could easily move up if there were a need for them."

Emmett and I sat there and shot questions at him for the next forty-five minutes or so. I really liked what I was hearing from him. I asked about college scouts and he said that in the last few years there were usually no less than ten college scouts that came to view the players.

"I'll tell you what. The timing of your visit couldn't be more perfect. We have a huge game tonight against one of the better schools in our division. If you're able, why don't you three come to the game? I'll introduce you to the coach and you can speak to him for a few minutes before the game. You can have all your questions answered once you see them play."

"I do believe we can do that. Thank you," dad agreed.

"Alright then the junior varsity game starts at four-thirty. That is the team your boys will start out on so it's best that they see them play." He looked over at us with a nod as he stood up and motioned us to the door.

"Thank you sir," Emmett said shaking his hand again.

"Yes thank you very much," I said while I shook his hand.

"You're welcome and I'll meet you on the field about four o'clock.

We left his office and were just about to leave when Mr. Davis caught our attention. "Excuse me Mr. Cullen." Dad shot him a look. "I'm sorry…Carlisle can you please step into my office for a minute. There is something I would like to discuss with you. Boys, you can have a seat over there." He motioned to a couple of chairs by the rear entrance.

We took our seats as they went into the office and shut the door. It was about two-thirty and school was just letting out for the day. Students were filling the hallways and it became rather loud.

I turned to Emmett to find out what he was thinking. "So Em, what do you think?"

"This is definitely the best place so far. Dad was pretty excited about it after talking to Mr. D." I chuckled as he already picked up on the name. "You?"

"It's promising. The staff seems pretty nice and I like the principal. He's the laid back type. I like that. I can't wait to see that game this afternoon. This school is definitely my first choice but the game will make my decision easier."

"I'm right there with you brother." He flashed the grin that told me this was where we were going to end up.

We sat around for a while waiting for dad to come out of the office. We were talking about some of the things we would need to take care of when we got back to get ready for this move. After seeing the look on dad's face yesterday and some of the questions he's been asking at the school visits, it was more cemented in our minds that this was really going to happen now. We were just going to have to wait for the hospital's official decision.

The conversation slowed and I lost myself for bit in my thoughts about Jane. I didn't want to leave her but I didn't really have a choice in the matter. I started going over the conversation I was going to have with her when I got back.

"Can't you take a hint?" A girl screaming in the hallway broke my concentration. "I told you to leave me alone." There was a muffled response from a male voice but it was too low to hear.

"Wonder what that's about?" Emmett asked as he saw me look towards the door.

I just shrugged. "It's not our business."

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!" The screaming got louder.

"The hell its not," Emmett said as he shot out of his chair and out the door.

_Great this is all we need right now._ I ran after him to try and keep him out of trouble.

Just outside the door some guy had a hold on a girl's wrist trying to keep her from walking away. "Don't think you can fucking walk away from me. Why do you have to be such a bitch?"

Emmett was on the guy in a second. I could see his body was tensed up and he towered over the guy. He slammed his fist into the locker right above the guy's head. As soon as he did, the guy jumped and let go of the girl's wrist.

"_You_ don't speak to a lady that way," his voice was threatening and I'm sure the look on his face matched it. Emmett couldn't stand to see a girl mistreated or spoken to without respect. It was the way our mom raised us. "If I catch you again, you _will not_ like what I do to you."

The girl's eyes widened like she was scared and surprised at the same time. The guy looked like he was going to piss his pants. He stumbled away and started running down the hallway. Yeah Emmett can have that effect on people.

Emmett's shoulders relaxed. He put one finger under the girl's chin to raise it so she was looking at him. His voice was softer as he spoke this time. "Don't worry beautiful lady. That guy won't bother you ever again."

Emmett's softer side came out when he spoke to her. It's not something I hear very often. He's usually loud and loves to joke around but he can be sensitive when he wants to be. I heard dad call for us so I got his attention.

"Em, let's go." I turned to walk back into the office with Emmett right behind me.

* * *

We were at the hotel just killing time before we headed back to the game. Dad was taking a shower and Emmett was talking nonstop about the girl he saved in the hallway.

"Would you like to tell me how much longer I have to listen to this?" I laughed at him.

"Dude I can't help it. Did you see how incredibly hot she was?" He was bouncing on his toes like he usually does when he's getting ready for a workout.

"How could I miss it? The girl was definitely hot." I agreed with him.

"Damn…I could stare into those blue eyes all day. And that body," he made an hourglass shape with his hands, "she may not have the full curves now but when she fills out I'm not going to be able to keep my fucking hands off her."

"That's assuming we move here. It's still a possibility that we'll stay in California." I couldn't help but tease him a bit trying to burst his bubble.

"No way dude. We are so moving here. And when we do…that girl is mine."

He was still bouncing around when dad got out of the shower. He laughed and told Emmett to sit down and relax. Like that helped. All he did was sit on the edge of the bed and start bouncing there. He was like a ball of nervous energy. I just laughed. It was pretty funny to see him so worked up.

Thirty minutes later we were back in the car on our way to the game. I couldn't wait. I had to see this team in action to know that this was the right place for me. We parked in the lot by the field and got out of the car. Mr. Gonzalez was waiting for us by the field entrance.

"Carlisle…Emmett…Edward," he shook our hands again, "I'm glad you made it back."

"We wouldn't miss it," I said with a little too much enthusiasm. Dad gave me that look telling me that he knew I was sold on this school. I needed better control.

Mr. Gonzalez led us out to the field and introduced us to the coach. "Carlisle, Emmett and Edward, this is coach Stevens. Coach this is the Cullen family. We were talking about them earlier."

"Right, it's a pleasure to meet you." He turned his head to look at the field before turning back to us. "I'm sorry but you'll have to excuse me for a minute."

Mr. Gonzalez and dad walked a few steps away in deep conversation. Emmett and I stood there watching the warm ups. We watched the goalie save some good shots. He was damn good.

"Hey, Cullen boys." A voice calling our name got our attention. "What the hell are you two doing here?"

"Whitlock?" I said in surprise. Jasper Whitlock was one of the best players I've ever played against. When we played his team in the final game of our tournament he was running circles around our defense. I said then that we would do some damage if we were on the same team. With him here, that just sealed the deal.

"Hey pretty boy," Emmett laughed and gave him a high five, "I didn't know you played here."

"Sure do. Pretty damn good team too. We're undefeated so far." Jasper was proud of his team.

"How could you not be with you unleashing those mad skills on the other team," Emmett said and we all laughed.

"No way man. It's our goalie. He's made some awesome saves that have bailed our asses out a couple of times."

"Yeah I was watching. The guy's really good." I had to give the guy the credit he deserved.

"You guys staying for the game?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah we are. Hey we're going out to dinner after. You should come hang out and give us the info on your team," I asked him. Anything to get the inside information.

"Nah I can't man. I'm going out with my girl. It's her friend's birthday today and her dad's taking us to dinner." He got this excitement in his eye when he talked about his girl.

"Is she here?" Emmett asked as he turned to look in the stands. "Which one is she?"

"That one over there." He pointed. "The girl with the short black hair."

Emmett and I looked in the direction he pointed. Looking back at us was the brown haired beauty that took my breath away earlier today.

"That's her," I said as the air was knocked out of my lungs again. I could feel the smile spreading across my face again without my permission. There was just something about her.

"Holy shit that's her!" Emmett said at the same time I did. He pointed out the blonde sitting behind the one that Jasper said was his girl.

"Okay…" Jasper said in confusion, "…explain."

"The girl with the brown hair ran into me today…literally," I told him.

"Yeah that sounds like Bella," Jasper laughed. "Her dad's taking us out tonight."

_Bella. Even her name says she's beautiful._

"And I had to scare some fucking douche bag away from that hot blonde girl earlier."

"Hey watch it," Jasper got defensive. "That hot blonde girl happens to be my cousin."

"No fucking way!" Emmett shouted. "Man you gotta hook me up."

"Right…in California," Jasper laughed again and rolled his eyes. "Well hey I have to get back out there. I'll find you after the game and we'll make some time before you leave to catch up."

"Cool dude. Kick some ass out there," Emmett yelled after him as he ran to the field.

I looked over at Emmett just as he looked at me. Then we both turned towards the girls again. I don't know how she did it but, even at this distance, she managed to hold me captive in those stunning brown eyes again.

It took me a second to speak. "Hey Em, you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I'm with you Ed. We are so going to school here?"

* * *

After a quick talk with the coach we took our seats to watch the game. Jasper wasn't kidding. The team was really good. Great spacing, nice passing and the way the whole team played as one made them a strong force on the field.

Just before the half the goalie made an awesome save in goal. The other team had the corner kick but again the goalie caught the ball with ease and sailed it down the field toward Jasper.

A couple of crossover fakes on the defense and Jasper had a clear shot on goal. He took it immediately and the ball flew a couple of inches above the goalie's fingers. This place was going wild. I can see why Mr. Gonzalez was complimenting these teams. I just wonder, if the junior varsity is this good, how good is the varsity team?

The half ended about five minutes later. Emmett and I talked a little about that last goal before I had to step out for a minute. I walked around to the back of the stands where the concession stand was. As I stood in line to grab a soda I let my eyes wander.

I saw her by the building between the field and the parking lot. Her head was down, her shoulders were hunched over and she had one hand resting on the wall like she was trying to hold herself up. A second later she had made her way to the ground and was sitting with her legs pulled into her chest and her head on her knees.

I felt such a strong pull to her. I had to go and see if she was okay. I left my place in line and ran out of the gate. I slowed down as I got closer to her because I didn't want to scare her but it was like she didn't even hear me coming.

When I was a few steps away I heard her sniffling. She was crying. She was hurting and I didn't know why. I don't know where it came from but I had the deepest need to make her feel better.

"Are you okay?" I asked as I kneeled down next to her.

All she gave me was one word. "Fine."

"You don't seem like your fine. Can I help?" I reached out and placed my hand on her arm. A strange warmth flowed from her arm to my hand.

I felt so bad for her. She looked at me once and put her head back down and continued to cry. "Please go away?"

Those three words cut right through me. It hurt hearing her ask me to leave but I wasn't going to let her sit here and be miserable if I could help her.

"I don't want to just leave you here like this. Please let me help." I looked into her eyes as she raised her head again. I saw a world of hurt in those brown eyes.

Keeping our eyes locked together, she started to stand. I placed my hand under her elbow to help her up since she still seemed a little unsteady. I tried to ask again if she was okay but she turned to leave before I could.

"I have to go."Her voice was shaky.

_No! Please don't leave._

Without thinking I reached out and grabbed her wrist. She turned back to look at me with those sad eyes. I couldn't help myself and I pulled her to me and held her as tight as I could.

My whole body heated up with her in my arms. She wrapped her arms around my waist. She fit so perfectly against my chest and it felt good to hold her and for her to hold me in return.

She didn't stop crying though and it seemed that she cried harder while I held her. I ran my hand through her hair and it felt like silk. I continued my strokes trying to sooth her. At that moment the world consisted of only the two of us and nothing else mattered but her.

As her crying came to a stop she released her grip on the back of my shirt and stepped slowly away from me. I wasn't ready to let her go yet but when she looked me I could tell that she felt a little better.

"I think I'm okay now. I better get back to my friends before they come looking for me," she said in a low voice.

I smiled a little knowing that I helped her somehow. I reached up and held her face in my hands as I wiped away the few remaining tears on her cheeks.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked since I was still concerned about her.

"I'll be fine. Please don't worry about me," she said as she smiled. "You helped me so much already."

I still didn't want to let go. So I slid my hands from her face to her shoulders. I trailed them down her arms before holding her hands in mine. With every touch came this odd sensation almost like a jolt of electricity passing from her body to mine. It's not something I could explain.

"I didn't do anything. But whatever you think I did, it was my pleasure."I still had a smile on my face and it just got bigger knowing that I was part of the reason that she felt better.

She pulled her hands from mine and made her move to walk around me. She turned after a few steps and said 'thank you' again. Then, for the second time today, she left me standing alone watching her run away.

When I couldn't see her anymore I gained enough control over my legs to start walking again. I made my way back to my seat. Emmett was standing by the railing waiting for me.

"What…did you decide that you didn't need to see any more of this game?" he asked sounding a little annoyed.

"What are you talking about?" I was confused. He motioned to the scoreboard and there was only fifteen minutes left.

_What the hell? I wasn't gone forty-five minutes. I just barely got to talk to her._

"So…" I could feel the curiosity flowing from him. "What's she like?"

"Who?" I tried to play it off but I didn't sound convincing.

"Don't play dumb with me. I saw you with her." He was giving me his evil grin now.

I just lifted my hand and pointed in her direction while raising my eyebrows at him. "I still don't know. I found her out there crying and I wanted to make sure she was okay. So I just hugged her until she stopped."

He slapped me on the back and laughed. "Always the knight in shining armor."

* * *

"So I guess, from your behavior today, you two have found the school you want to enroll in?" dad asked with a smirk. He's definitely not a stupid man. He was quietly watching us all day and taking everything in.

Emmett and I looked at each other before I spoke up. "Do you really have to ask?"

"No. I just wanted to see if you would tell me. And as far as your worries are concerned Edward, seeing how you two were around the ladies today, I don't see either of you having trouble fitting in." He was laughing at us and we couldn't help but join in.

"How soon do you think it will take to find out about the job?" I asked. I had to know if I was going to get to see her again.

"They said that they will make their decisions after their round of interviews which will last until mid October." He let out a breath. He didn't want to wait that long.

"What do you think your chances are?" Emmett asked while taking a bite of his steak.

He shrugged. "I'm not too sure. I was only the third person they brought in and there are ten more candidates. His comments made it sound promising though."

"Well I hope you get it. You deserve it." Emmett told him.

"You do deserve it. They couldn't get anyone better." Dad was a great doctor and the hospital here would be lucky to have him.

"Thanks boys. We'll have to wait and see."

Dad excused himself from the table for a minute and Emmett pounced.

"Edward can you stop acting like a fucking girl already." Emmett elbowed me in the ribs. "You'll see her again when we come back."

I didn't realize the fact that not seeing her again before we left was affecting my mood so much. I didn't know what was happening to me. For some reason going home just didn't feel right now.

"I'm just confused all of a sudden. I don't want to leave because I have Jane at home but I can't wait to come back so I can get to know Bella."

"Well you definitely have enough time to figure it out." Emmett nudged my arm with his elbow. "It sounds like we have at least until November."

Right like that was supposed to make me feel better. I gave him a half-hearted smile. I didn't want to talk about it anymore.

It was time to leave. Emmett got his to-go box. God forbid he leaves any food behind. I heard the singing as we were walking around the corner making our way to the door. It was a loud chorus of happy birthday.

I saw her again and I lost my ability to breathe for the third time today. I forgot Jasper said it was her birthday. If I wasn't so caught up in comforting her earlier I could have at least wished her a happy birthday.

She definitely didn't like all the attention. I saw the blush on her face while she was looking everywhere but at the table. I stopped in my tracks when her eyes landed on me. How can one look hold me in place like I was her prisoner?

I watched while her dad tried to get her attention. She looked at him and then back at me. I was mesmerized. I couldn't move if I wanted to. Her lips moved slightly just before her eyes closed.

I think Emmett said something to me but I was too absorbed in the scene in front of me to really hear him. She opened her eyes, put her lips together and blew out the candle.

My heart jumped and my body surged with feelings that I haven't had before as I watched her. The simple act of blowing out a birthday candle was sexy…at least the way she did it.

Emmett tugged at my arm and it brought me out of my trance. I smiled at her and whispered, "Happy birthday." I knew no one could hear me say it but I needed to say the words out loud. It was like they meant more that way.

Emmett yanked me out the door then and, just like that, she was gone again. A week ago I was fighting my parents because they were trying to make me move away from everything I knew. Now I can't wait for them to say the word.

* * *

**As always, please let me know what you think.**


	9. Here We Go Again

**A/N: Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, musical content, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**I want to say a quick thank you to Andromida1964, my new beta and good friend. Thanks girl for keeping me straight and catching those things I miss. For anyone interested, she has three great stories out there. Check them out you'll love them.**

**To my readers, sorry this took me so long to post. RL is kicking my butt again. Things are finally slowing down and updates can come faster. I hope you enjoy this one and show me some love**** in a review.**

* * *

**BPOV**

_Edward…Edward…Edward_

I can't stop saying his name in my head. I've never been good at remembering names but this one would be burned into my memory because it belonged to the most beautiful boy I had ever seen.

I have one huge problem though. Edward Cullen would forever be just a memory. Rosalie asked what would be worse – having the picture of a gorgeous guy in your head or having that picture call you beautiful – I say that neither of those compare to the situation I find myself in.

I can see his face and hear his voice. He may have never called me beautiful but, for some unknown reason, he said so much more to me that meant he cared about me. And if the face and the voice weren't enough, I know what it feels like for him to hold me and to feel that strange tingling sensation that warmed my entire body with just his touch. Not only that, he held me for so long that his scent is lingering in my clothes torturing me with the memory of him.

But all this doesn't even compare with those beautiful, hypnotic green eyes that held me captive every time he looked at me. Those eyes are going to haunt me every day.

I say they'll haunt me because I'll never see him again. He lives in California, which makes it impossible. What was he doing here slipping into my life only to walk right out again? If anyone ever tells you life isn't fair they don't even know the half of it.

I roll over and stare at the glowing numbers on my nightstand. Eleven o'clock and I still can't sleep. My mind is racing with the events of the day that I can't seem to get out of my head.

As if on queue, the alert for another text message goes off. I don't even have to look to know who it's from. Jacob has been sending me messages all night.

I don't even want to talk to him right now. I don't know how to deal with him. He told me he loved me and then I see him with Leah at the game. It's not like this is the first time. Now I have six text messages from him and, knowing him as well as I do, I know that none of them are as nice as they sound. Who knows what this seventh one will be? He has absolutely no right to be angry.

I grab my phone off the nightstand. I flip through the first six messages again and each one makes me angrier than the one before it. I know what I would say to each one but I wasn't going to respond now for fear of that conversation getting way out of control with my temper getting the best of me.

**Where were you in the second half…J**

_I was busy._

**Found a new boyfriend I see…J**

_I only wish._

**What the hell Bella…J**

_Kiss my ass Jacob._

**Who is he…J**

_None of your business._

**Why won't you answer me…J**

_You're not worth my time._

**Too busy hanging on the new guy…J**

_Damn right._

Now as I read the newest message my blood boiling.

**I expected better Bella…J**

_Oh hell no! He did not just say that to me._

He had the nerve to get mad at me for nothing when he's pushed me to the side without a second thought more than once. I can't handle this right now. I throw the phone back on the nightstand. I'll deal with him tomorrow.

I turn my iPod on and lose myself in the soft music that usually puts me to sleep. But tonight sleep wasn't coming fast enough. I saw Jacob's face in my head but the anger I had a minute ago is gone. All I could feel was sadness because I believed in him…again. As I recall the sadness I felt when I ran away from the field today, another face came to my mind.

His beautiful face had been in my head all day. His face held so much concern and sadness of his own simply because I was sad. His face showed me he cared for me even though he didn't know me. His face is the one I'm going to see in my memory everyday.

_Edward Cullen_

My mind goes over our extremely brief encounter. I remember every look, every touch and every word. He was so sweet. It's incomprehensible to me how a stranger can seem to care so much.

As I close my eyes again, I run through the possibility in my mind of what it would be like if he were here. If I could talk to him, look into his eyes, hold him and just be with him. Remembering him and his comforting presence is relaxing me. It's as if he's helping me again and he's not even here.

I can feel my eyes getting heavy as sleep finally finds me. Before I fall completely under, a small smile crosses my face as two words pass my lips.

"Goodnight Edward."

* * *

I did my best to avoid Jacob for the next two days. I still didn't have it in me to talk to him. I asked Charlie for a ride to school both days so I didn't run into him at the bus stop. He grumbled about it a little since I wouldn't tell him the reasoning behind it but I'm sure he knew.

I made sure to get to my public speaking class just as the bell was ringing so he couldn't catch me in the hallway. I shielded myself behind the wall of my hair because I could feel him staring at me from across the hall. After class, I was the first one out the door sprinting to my locker when it was over.

Each day the text messages continued. Every message now begged me to talk to him. He tried to call me several times but I would just hit the ignore button when the call came through. I wasn't ready yet.

This thing with Leah hurt me and I was dealing with that. Now there's something that's bothering me even more. I've dealt with a lot from Jacob over the past year so I knew what to expect. This whole situation was different though. He's never put this much effort into trying to talk to me before.

By Friday I had nineteen text messages and twelve voice mails. I saved all of them and I've read and listened to each one more than once. It was the final voice mail that wore down my resolve.

Jacob's voice was broken. I've never heard him sound so hurt before. His sentence was simple. "Bella please, just tell me what I did wrong?"

My heart went out to him. No matter what he's done to me in the past, this time Jacob sounded truly upset and doesn't seem to know why I'm angry with him. I have to talk to him so we can get past this one way or another. Together or not.

_I'll call him tomorrow._

I had the night to myself tonight. Charlie is working the night shift for the next two weeks, Alice is going to dinner with Jasper and his parents and Rosalie actually accepted an invitation to go to the movies with Collin. I was feeling a little lonely but the quiet was good for me right now.

I had ushered Charlie out the door about an hour ago and now I was just lying on the couch lost in my thoughts again. Being alone gave me the perfect opportunity to think through the conversation I wanted to have with Jacob. Our past is full of instances of him hurting me and me avoiding him. Talking through a problem is going to be different for us and I wanted to make sure I had my head straight.

Of course he's not going to let me do that in peace. I pulled out my phone and flipped it open to read the next in a long line of text messages.

**Bella can we talk…J**

I closed my eyes and held the phone to my chest. I knew the phone call was going to come next because he always called right after the message. The phone rang just as the doorbell did. As I have for the past two days I hit the ignore button on the phone as I got up to answer the door.

_I should have known._

"Jake what are you doing here?" I narrowed my eyes trying to look angry.

"My dad told me Charlie was working tonight so I figured…" I cut him off.

"You figured you could just show up here without being invited," I yelled. He dropped his head and I immediately wished I could take it back.

"Bella you won't answer my messages. You won't talk my calls. You can't even look at me. Why?" There was pain in his voice that had never been there before.

I could see in his eyes that this is really bothering him. I wasn't quite ready for this yet but we needed to talk about this. So I decided to get it over with.

"Fine. Come in." I stepped aside so he could walk past me.

He stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. I took a step toward him and he looked like he wanted to reach out for me but he hesitated which is good because I didn't know if I wanted him to.

"Sit down Jake." I waved my hand toward the couch.

He started to speak as he sat down. "Bella, you told me you love me right? At the game…just before halftime." He paused and took a breath. "Then I come out of the locker room and you're hugging some random guy." His voice rose as if the last statement was a question. He stopped and didn't say anymore.

I watched speechless as he leaned over resting his elbows on his knees. His right hand was in a fist and he was tapping it against his left palm. His eyes were closed and his brow was furrowed like someone in deep concentration.

I've always seen Jacob with this unfailing confidence. He wasn't the type to show when things got to him. It was as if everything that happened in his life was something he planned to happen. Now he just looked…defeated.

Bella you should have talked to him sooner. If you would have let him explain what happened then you could both be happy right now.

My heart was pulling at me again. This time I was more open to listen because I've never seen Jacob like this before. I had to admit not talking to him was taking its toll on me too. I started to move my hand toward him but I pulled it back before ever making contact.

_**Say something Bella! Fix this!**_

"Jake…" I hesitated not quite sure what I wanted to say. He brought his hands up to rest under his chin. He opened his eyes but he would only look at the floor.

I tried again. "Jake…" He was the one to cut me off this time.

"What did I do Bella?" His voice was totally devoid of any emotion.

I couldn't get the words out. I wanted to tell him what I saw at the game but now I completely doubted my assumptions of what happened. I dropped my own head hiding behind my hair again. I couldn't face him.

"I'm sorry Jake. I just thought… When I saw you and…" I couldn't form a complete sentence and I started to cry. I haven't cried much during the last couple of days but with him sitting so close to me I couldn't control myself.

I felt the couch move and Jacob knelt down in front of me. He grabbed both my hands in one of his. His other hand lifted my chin and, in two strokes, he brushed my hair behind my back then placed the loose strands behind my ear.

"Calm down Bella," he said with a gentle voice. He was looking directly at me with a look of pain on his face. "Please don't cry."

His hands moved to my face and he began wiping away my tears with his thumbs. His movements made me think of Edward. He had done the exact same thing to me when I was crying two days ago. I threw my arms around Jacob's waist, buried my face in his chest and hugged him tight as the guilt washed through me like a tidal wave.

Here I was hurting Jacob for the past two days because I was afraid to talk to him about something I only thought he had done. I didn't have any proof. Now I'm making this so much worse by sitting here thinking about Edward while I'm in Jacob's arms.

_I'm such an awful person._ _I don't deserve to have him hold me like this._

Jacob was rubbing my back and whispering in my ear to calm down and that everything would be okay. How is it that he came over here looking so sad and he's the one comforting me right now? I turned my head so my cheek was lying on his shoulder. He rested his cheek on the top of my head.

I brought my breathing back under control so I could speak. "I'm sorry Jake. Really I am."

"Can you please just tell me what is going on with you?" he whispered. He actually placed a kiss on my forehead. "Tell me why you wouldn't speak to me?"

I tightened the hold I had on him. "I was stupid Jake." I took a deep breath. "I saw you at halftime." I paused again. This was harder to say out loud than I thought it would be.

He started to say something but I reached up and covered his lips with my fingers. "Don't talk." This was all I could manage for a minute.

I used the hand that had covered his lips to play with a strand of my hair that had fallen over my shoulder. I concentrated on that action while I spoke. "I saw you when you left the field that day. You stopped to reach for Leah in the stands and I thought… you… were…" my words were cut off as I started to cry again.

I felt him stiffen slightly before he let out a small laugh. "Oh Bella, you should have asked me sooner. That was nothing." He pulled my face away so he could look me in the eye. "There is nothing going on between me and Leah right now."

"There's not?" I asked.

The smile that graced his face made me feel stupid. "No doll. Her brother borrowed my mp3 player and she was just giving it back. I didn't want her throwing it at me so I reached up and took it from her."

_God am I a complete idiot or what?_

"Are you really done with her?" I could hardly believe what I was hearing.

"As done as I'll ever be." He smiled at me and my reflex reaction had me throwing my arms around his neck.

He hugged me back as he asked, "So doll, are we good? Do you forgive me?"

I kissed his cheek as I pulled back to look at him. "There's nothing to forgive Jake. I was wrong and I'm sorry."

"Good. I can't lose you beautiful. You're my best friend."

* * *

The rest of the month flew by. School was going great. I had A's in all my classes except public speaking. I had a B in that class only because Jacob kept causing me to lose focus when I was trying to give my speeches.

Journalism was even better than I expected. I was one of the few that got an A on our first assignment. Mr. Collins was impressed that I had actually taken the time to interview teachers and students to emphasize my research. No one had their work chosen to be published in the newspaper but, as first time writers, it would have been a miracle if someone did.

I handed in my second story on the last day of September. I had revised it a little after I received my first story back and read the comments Mr. Collins gave me regarding my writing style. The story seemed to flow better once I applied his suggestions.

I love this class. I knew it was going to help prepare me for the future. I hadn't expected to see a definite change in my writing in just a month though. Mr. Collins had a way of bringing out the best in me.

As we move into October the school is buzzing. Homecoming week is upon us. I think it's going to be a lot of fun. The week long celebration included different themed dress up days during the week, the vote for the homecoming court and a bonfire on Friday night with everything leading up to Saturday's events starting off with a parade, the football game and finally the homecoming dance.

We had all been anxiously waiting for our first dance of the year but, now that we all had dates, we were even more excited for the night to arrive. Alice was going with Jasper of course and Rose was going to go with Collin. Once she gave him a chance she realized that he was nice and they had a lot in common. She still found him a little too much on the serious side but she was trying her best to loosen him up.

I, by some great miracle, was going to the dance with Jacob. Our whole relationship up to now had consisted of phone calls, text messages and him showing up at my house to talk. Once I found out about Leah I knew why we would never do anything together away from home. This time is so different. He actually asked me to go with him. How could I say no?

The dance was supposed to be semi-formal and Alice had made sure we went shopping a couple of weeks ahead of time so we were sure to find the right dresses. Alice picked out the colors of course and all the dresses hung just below our knees.

She bought a two-tone Royal Blue and Black thin strap halter dress with glittering highlights that made the dress shimmer in the light. It was perfect for her and she said that the dress was 'a perfect contrast to Jasper's gorgeous blue eyes'…her words of course not mine. Jasper would wear a black suit with a royal blue tie to match.

Rosalie bought a gorgeous red satin dress with spaghetti straps and a rhinestone trim. It was form fitting but not enough that it looked like a second skin. The fabric ruffled on the left side with a small bow on the hip. Once I saw that dress and how elegant and stunning she looked, I immediately felt sorry for Collin. She was going to give the poor kid a heart attack.

Alice's choice for me was perfect. I had a simple black sheer strap halter dress with a wrap around belt that ties in the back with a rhinestone pin in the middle. I loved it and it would match perfectly with Jacob's black suit, black dress shirt and white tie. He knows how much I love him in black.

We made it through the week. Dressing up on the different days was fun especially the day we got to dress up as eighties rocker girls. Rosalie was one of the girls nominated for the homecoming court; she didn't win though. She lost to some girl named Lauren Mallory. I didn't know her personally but Rosalie says that she only won because she's given it up to half the freshman class already. She was definitely not high on Rosalie's list.

Friday night we were going to meet at my house to get ready for the bonfire. I've never been to one before so I was pretty anxious. I was in my room picking out my outfit when my text alert went off.

**Hey doll, are you busy…J**

**Waiting for the girls. What's up…B**

**Just want to talk. Can I come over…J**

**Sure. Just come in and holler when you get here…B**

**Be there in a sec. I love you…J**

I went back to my closet and decided on just a regular pair of jeans and a red, black and white button up shirt with a black cami to wear underneath and a pair of black canvas shoes to match. With my outfit picked out, I went to my vanity to brush out my hair. I had already showered and dried my hair so I needed to make sure it was brushed so Alice could work on it when she got here.

One stroke of the brush was all I was able to manage when I heard my name coming from downstairs. Jacob knew where the extra key was so he was able to come in without having to wait for me to get to the door. It was usually more convenient that way.

"Hold on Jake. I'll be right down," I screamed down to him. I quickly ran the brush through the rest of my hair to at least make it look decent. I threw it into a quick ponytail and ran down the stairs.

He was sitting on the arm of the couch as I came into the living room. I walked in and almost tripped and fell when my eyes landed on his shirtless chest. Luckily, or maybe unluckily, Jacob shot up fast enough to catch me before I went face first into the carpet. The only problem with this situation was that instead of landing on the floor I now had my cheek pressed firmly against the smooth skin of his bare chest. Being pressed up against him like that was pure heaven.

He held me there for a minute to make sure I was okay before we stood up. He didn't release me from his embrace when we were standing either. I removed my cheek from his chest to look up at him. He had a playful grin on his face.

"I know girls fall for me Bells but you didn't have to demonstrate," he said with a smirk.

Leave it to Jacob to spoil the mood. I slapped him on that gorgeous, well-toned chest of his before pushing my way out of his arms. "Just sit down and talk Jake."

He grabbed my hand, walked with me to the couch and sat me down close to him. I sat quietly waiting for him to speak. He blew out a deep breath, which made me think something was really wrong.

"Jake, I know you too well." I grabbed his hand to reassure him. "Just tell me what's wrong."

Another deep breath flew out of his mouth. He squeezed my hand and finally spoke. "Bells, I don't want you mad at me again."

"Why would I get mad Jake?" I asked with a harder tone than I wanted to use.

"Please don't hate me doll. I'm so sorry." He squeezed my hand again. "I can't go with you tomorrow."

My body instantly went cold. I couldn't believe he was blowing me off…again. I dropped his hand and jumped off the couch.

"What the fuck Jacob!" I couldn't help screaming at him. His eyes went wide because he knew I never used that word. "I can't believe you're doing this to me now. Why?" I paused about a half a second before I started screaming again. "No…never mind…forget it. Don't even bother telling me."

"Please Bells just listen." He got off the couch and came over to me. "I don't…" I cut him off before he could say any more.

"No Jacob. I'm tired of taking a backseat to everything else in your life!" I pushed away the hand that was reaching out to touch me.

"Just let me explain!" He was yelling at me now.

"What is there to explain Jacob? I wasn't important to you last year and I'm not important to you now." I moved away from him. I needed the space.

We were both yelling now as our argument escalated beyond our control. There was no stopping the anger now.

"That's not true Bella. You've always been important to me. How many times do I have to tell you that?" He walked behind me and grabbed my hand to turn me around.

"Your words mean shit to me Jacob. Not once have you showed me that I mean anything to you." I yanked my hand away and made a move to walk past him again.

I was startled as his voice grew to a level I had never heard him use before.

"You are so fucking stubborn Bella! Why can't you just listen to me?" He put himself in front of me so I couldn't walk away from him again. "This has nothing to do with whether you're important to me or not." His voice seemed to get impossibly louder as he said the next sentence. "This is family stuff Bella. It's not like I have a choice here."

"Family stuff…yeah right. I've heard that before remember."

At that moment I felt it all coming down on me. The anger, the sadness, the depression, the hurt…every emotion he has made me feel over the past year hit me with full force threatening to crush me. I was tired of fighting. Tired of fighting with him and tired of fighting for him. I let out a sigh of defeat as I just gave up.

My voice lowered to a volume just above a whisper and I spoke slowly. "You've always had a choice when it comes to me Jacob." I felt the tears now and I fought with all the determination I had to keep them back. "You've always had a choice…and I…I was always your last choice." I turned my back on him again as soon as I felt the first tear escape.

"Bella…" Jacob's voice softened along with mine as he said my name. He reached around my shoulders to hug me.

I stopped his arms before they could fully come together and I took another step away. I didn't want hear what he had to say. I was done.

My voice cracked as I spoke. "It's always been about someone else Jacob. I can't always come in last." I wrapped my arms around my chest resigning myself to the fact that I _would_ always come last in Jacob's life. I squeezed my eyes shut with my next statement. "Just leave. She's probably waiting for you."

With those last words our conversation, our relationship and, quite possibly, our friendship was over. I ran up the stairs without a single look back and slammed my bedroom door behind me.


	10. Bella's Roller Coaster

**A/N: Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, musical content, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**I want to thank Andromida1964 again for being the wonderful friend that she is and taking the time to read through my work, give me suggestions and find all my mistakes. You're the best.**

* * *

**BPOV**

I have to admit, this has been one of the worst months of my short life. It all started with that stupid homecoming dance. I remember that Friday night like it was yesterday. That night started the emotional roller coaster that I've been trapped on all month.

As I sit in my room getting ready for Alice's Halloween party, my mind replays the events of that day after I left Jacob standing in my living room.

_*** Three weeks ago***_

I was so excited and ready for that whole weekend and it all ended with me spending the entire weekend alone crying in bed. Friday night the girls showed up after Jacob left and found me in my room curled up in a little ball on my bed. My tears were so heavy that my pillow was soaked. I didn't even realize they walked in until I heard Alice's voice.

"Oh God Bella!" Alice screamed. "What the hell did he do this time?" She knew in an instant that Jacob was somehow involved. She had seen this too many times for it to be anything else.

Rosalie looked confused for half a second before the situation hit her. "I'm gonna kill that sorry son of a bitch!" she yelled. "Just wait until I get my hands on that fucking asshole!"

"You don't have to Rose," Alice said through gritted teeth. "Jasper will take care of him as soon as I tell him about this." Alice was on her cell phone before she even finished the sentence.

I lunged at her. I was desperate. I couldn't let her make that call. "No Alice! Please, leave Jasper out of this."

"Bella, I've had it with him. This is the last time…" Her attention went to the phone. "Jasper, you have to…"

I ripped the phone out of her hand and closed it immediately. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and I whipped my head in Rosalie's direction just as the phone reached her ear.

"Rose, please, you can't tell Jasper. Please I'm begging you, leave this alone." My tears continued to stream heavily down my face. I knew they wanted to help and protect me but they really weren't making this situation or my mood any better.

Rosalie pulled the phone away from her ear and I could hear Jasper's voice. "Hello… hello… Rose…"

She saw the look on my face and flipped the phone shut without answering. "You better have a good reason Bella. That asshole deserves everything he's going to get." She was livid but at least she agreed not to involve Jasper.

I wiped away as many of the tears as I could but it was a useless effort; they were still coming. I hung my head a second before I dropped back down on my bed. I wrapped my arms around a pillow and brought it just under my chin. I still had Alice's phone in my hand because my sneaky little friend would have just sent Jasper text messages if she had it in her hands. Unfortunately, their behavior only worried Jasper because he started calling Alice. After I hit the ignore button for the third call, I sent him a quick message.

**Jazz, Bella took my phone. We're ok. Don't worry. c u at my house in an hour. Kisses…Ali**

I put the phone down and hugged the pillow tighter. I didn't look at either of them when I spoke. "Yes, Jacob and I got into a fight; a bad one. He said he was backing out of going to the dance tomorrow. I got hurt just like you knew I would. I've told you before though this is between me and Jacob. It's our problem to deal with and _I _finally have."

I told them everything that happened and how I ended things. I cried through the entire retelling of the story and they were both on my bed comforting me. I really didn't want their sympathy and they had somewhere to be. I urged them to go to the bonfire. It took a lot of work but I finally made them leave without me. I wasn't in the mood to be around people so I stayed home so I could cry in peace.

My night was officially ruined. Okay it was my entire weekend but that night was the worst. When the tears finally stopped I was left with red, puffy and burning eyes. I just stared at the wall seeing nothing. I haven't felt like this in six months and it hurt the same today as it did then.

I tried to sleep but I wasn't getting anywhere. I tossed and turned until well after midnight and I got desperate when I could feel the tears threaten to return. I got out of bed and walked to my closet in search of the only thing that would help me. I pulled it from its hanger in the far corner and went back to bed.

I let myself remember and the first thing I saw were those haunting green eyes. They were enough to bring a smile to my face. I remembered him holding me and how good it felt when he comforted me. I brought the jacket I was wearing that day up to my face and breathed deeply. His scent was still there and that alone was enough to calm me. I wanted that feeling again. I closed my eyes and I could feel him around me. The security I felt was intense. The only way it could be better is if he was physically here with me. I let myself get lost in the sensation and I fell into a deep sleep.

I found out the next week that Jacob didn't show up anywhere all weekend; not the bonfire, the football game or the dance. I didn't think he would. If he was spending his time with Leah then he was definitely doing it behind closed doors. The thought of that made me hurt, sick and angry all at the same time.

The two weeks following our fight were hard on me. I learned over the last year and a half, however, how to shut down the part of me that was ruled by my emotions. Jacob hurt me again just like he always did and I had to deal with that.

I knew by his behavior that he was back with Leah. All the signs were there. No more phone calls just to talk. No text messages about anything. No contact whatsoever. He avoided me and I avoided him. It was always the same whenever things went bad between us. I couldn't face him and feel more of the pain that had been assaulting my heart since I walked away from him.

* * *

Now that I think back I was really the one who caused that roller coaster of emotions in those first two weeks. I would get myself down during the day thinking about Jacob and dwelling on the hurt that he caused me again. Then at night, I would wrap myself with vivid thoughts and dreams of Edward. I slept with my Edward-scented jacket under my pillow so I could pretend he was close by giving me that security I needed to sleep. So I admit it, I caused it all. I was sad and moping during the day and I let myself be happy, safe and comforted at night.

Why am I even doing this to myself? I know I'm only able to have Jacob when it's convenient for him. There are other boys here that I could try to go out with but, what do I do, I find comfort in a boy I'll never see again. I am so screwed up it's a wonder I'm able to function.

I turn back to my closet, grab my outfit for tonight and lay it on the bed before I go to take my shower. My mind drifts again taking me back to the day that made my heart drop in my chest and made me regret every word and thought over the past month.

_***Four days ago***_

It was Tuesday in the fourth week in October and my day was going like all the others had. I didn't expect any surprises. So, when I saw him standing on my porch you could have knocked me over with a feather. I just stared at him not really knowing what to say or do.

"Sam…" I paused for a second still shocked that he was standing there. "What are you doing here? What do you want?"

My feelings for Sam were really no secret. We used to be friends but I blamed him for starting this whole mess between me and Jacob in the first place. If he would have never introduced Jacob to Leah, we could have been together this whole time. We could have been happy. Sam took that from me and I just couldn't get past that.

He walked past me into the house. "Bella, we need talk," he said with a no nonsense tone that said he wasn't taking no for an answer.

Well, too bad for him. "We don't have anything to say to each other Sam." I didn't mean to sound angry but, because I'm going through this again, the old resentment I felt for him came back strong.

"Yes Bella, we do. There is something you need to know."

Even at fifteen, Sam had that voice of authority that made people stop and listen. Well he wasn't going to get that from me. I just rolled my eyes at him. "I don't need to know anything that comes from you."

"Look Bella, I know that you blame me for your problems with Jake. You think I did all of this to you but right now I'm here to fix that if I can." He stared at me with a seriousness that he's never had before. "You just have to listen."

"Is there any chance of you just walking away?" I asked hoping he would just leave me alone.

"No. Now just stand there quietly and listen," he demanded.

"Fine." I threw my back against the door. It wasn't enough to hurt. I was really just going for a dramatic effect. "I'm listening." I waited for him to say why he was here but, when he didn't say a word, I made a demand of my own. "Well…speak."

"Bella, I've been watching you over the past two and a half weeks. I know how upset you've been and I'm sure you know that I know why."

_God, could you get on with it please?_

I stood there in silence waiting for him to say more. He looked at me hoping I would respond in some way. When I didn't he continued.

"You may not believe what I have to tell you but it is the absolute truth." He took a breath before he started the conversation that crushed me. "Jake wasn't lying to you Bella when he told you he had family business to take care of the weekend of homecoming."

My heart started pounding hard in my chest. I didn't want to believe him. I tried to play it off. "Yeah right Sam. With as many times as he's used 'family stuff' as an excuse, why should I believe that now?"

"Because this is true. Your fight was completely unnecessary. If you would have let him explain, you could have saved yourself all this shit that you've been going through." He was telling me I was wrong. "I can tell you what happened that weekend. You have to know what he's been going through."

"Why do you care?"

"We were all friends once Bells, remember. I don't like what Jake's done to you but the one time he wanted to tell you the truth, the one time he needed you to believe him the most…you gave up on him and went ballistic."

"So what was it that he wanted me to know? What could be so damn important that he had to walk out on me again?" I felt the anger boil up inside of me and I was ready to let it out.

Sam blew out another deep breath before he spoke. "Bella, Jake had to go with his dad to help Rachel. She got into some trouble and needed them right away." He was hesitant when he finished his sentence and I knew there was way more to this story.

"Sam, what happened to Rachel?" I asked but the look on his face made me think I didn't really want to know.

"Well, in the beginning, she just needed them to help her move out of her apartment. All she told them was that she needed to get out right away. She didn't really explain why."

The troubled look on his face alone would have made me worry but there was something about the way he said 'in the beginning' that really had me nervous.

"Billy wanted to leave right away but Jake told him he needed to talk to you first. He wanted to let you know that he had to cancel. He really did feel bad about it Bella. Then the fight broke out, you walked out on him and he never got to tell you what happened." His eyes dropped to the floor before he spoke again. "He didn't plan to be at your house for so long so they left a lot later than Billy wanted."

"He called me when he left your house. He was pretty hurt and completely pissed off. Believe it or not, I told him he deserved it for the way he's treated you all this time. You may think I always went along with everything he did Bella, but I didn't. I wanted to kick his ass that night after…" He saw me tense up a bit. "Well, you know what I'm talking about."

"Yeah," I said in a flat voice, "I remember that night well."

"Anyway, you know Rachel lives over an hour away right? Well, they tried to hurry because it had already been thirty minutes since she called. But when they got there…" his voice trailed off and his eyes went blank like he wasn't there with me anymore.

The look on his face scared me and I knew something bad was coming. I waited for him to continue. After a few minutes though, I put my hand on his arm to bring him back from wherever his mind had taken him.

"Sam?" I was ready to slap him to bring him out of this trance he seemed to be in. If I thought my heart was pounding before, it was nothing to the way it was trying to punch its way out of my body now.

"Bella," he grabbed my hand as he began, "There were cops everywhere. Rachel was in the hospital. She was…" he had to take a breath before he continued, "…she was found in her apartment beaten up really bad."

My free hand flew up to cover my mouth to stifle the gasp that escaped my lips. "Oh my God," I said more to myself than to him.

"She was trying to leave her boyfriend after a very big fight but he came home before she could get out. They wouldn't have made it on time even if they did leave right away but Jake lost it and started thinking it was his fault."

I was crying now. I felt horrible for their whole family. "No Sam, he shouldn't blame himself. It's my fault. I had to start that fight." I slid down and ended up on the floor. "God Sam, he probably hates me right now. I'm the one who kept him from his sister." I buried my head in my hands and continued to cry.

Everything I said after that was supposed to be in my head but evidently I couldn't keep it to myself. "This is all my fault. Maybe they could have gotten to her if he didn't come here. They could have driven faster…they could have saved her."

Sam was on his knees next to me trying to get my attention. "Bella, stop. None of this is your fault. I told you there was nothing they could have done. The cops were called about forty minutes after she called Billy. It was impossible to get to her on time."

"Is she okay Sam? She's not…" I couldn't even speak the word. The tears flowed even more at just the thought of it.

"No Bells, she's not. She spent a week in the hospital though. She's home now and staying with a friend."

"How has Jake been dealing with this? Is he okay?" I was so concerned about him now. I just assumed that his silence meant he was back with Leah. We didn't even speak to each other when he was.

"He just shut down. It kinda freaked us all out. He went to school and practice every day but only because Billy made him. He was on autopilot most of the time. I could have sworn he shut his phone off because he would ignore everything that went to him. If it wasn't about Rachel, he didn't want to know."

_God Bella, you freakin idiot. Why didn't you just listen to him? He didn't have to be alone through all of this. You say you love him but you turned your back on him when he needed you._

Sam pulled me from my thoughts. "He's better now though. Now that she's home, safe and getting better."

"Sam, I really messed this up. Do you think he'll talk to me?" I asked.

"I think he might want to Bella. That's kinda why I'm here telling you what happened. He told me that you thought he was with Leah and that's what started the fight." He looked me right in the eye as he spoke the next sentence. "I know your pattern Bells. As soon as you think he's gone, you avoid him like the plague. I think he's been avoiding you too because of that. Just try to talk to him. You never know."

* * *

_Stupid Jacob Black!_

I've been trying to talk to him for the past four days. In the mornings at the bus stop, he and his friends stay about a half block away until the bus picks us up. Every time I see him in the hall at school, he just walks right by me like I'm not even there. He won't even acknowledge me when I'm standing right in front of him. I've tried to call and text and I get nothing. I don't know what else to do.

I can't believe Sam let me think he would want to talk to me. Whatever friendship we could have salvaged four days ago when he told me about Rachel and how he stuck up for me when Jacob was being an ass is nothing now. He set me up to look stupid while I follow Jacob around trying to get him to talk to me.

_Well screw him too. Who needs Sam anyway?_

It's almost time for the party and while I sit and brush out my hair my mind drifts again and I'm caught in the endless war between my head and my heart.

_**Maybe it can't be fixed this time Bella. Maybe the one time he really wanted to be with you, you threw your chance away.**_

_Oh shut up. No one asked you._

_**I tried to warn you but you didn't listen.**_

_How could I when he's left so many other times?_

_**You could have believed in the person you claimed to love. Or is that asking too much?**_

_It's not that easy._

_**It's exactly that easy.**_

"Bella, are you ready? It's time to go." Charlie's yelling from downstairs ended my internal argument. It's a good thing I can keep that stuff to myself or Charlie would have me committed.

"Five minutes!" I yelled back.

I can't believe I lost track of so much time. I started getting ready two hours ago but, because I spent most of my afternoon thinking about my major screw ups this month, I ran out of time. Oh well, at least I don't have to worry about my hair and make-up because we'll all be wearing masks.

Yes, Alice decided that this should be a masquerade party. I chose a costume that came with a mask so I didn't have to hold one in my hand all night.

I bounce my way down the stairs to find my dad waiting for me by the door. He turned when he heard me coming. The instant red coloring in my dad's face reminded me that he hasn't seen me in this costume yet…big mistake.

"What the hell are you wearing?" The words came out somewhere between a growl and a scream.

_Play it cool Bella._

"It's a Halloween costume dad." I laugh a little. "I'm Cat woman. You know…from Batman."

"Bella that suit shows everything. You can't wear something like that!"

"Dad its fine. This costume is way less revealing than some of the others out there. I'm completely covered; it's just a little tight that's all. I promise I'll be careful. Besides, no one is going to know that it's me under the mask." I hoped he didn't freak out any further and try to make me change. There's no time to find something else.

"Bella, you know what the boys will think seeing you in something like that?" He didn't sound angry. It was more concern than anything else.

"Yeah, they'll think 'hey that girl is Cat woman' that's it." I try to sound casual but I don't think I pulled it off so I add, "You know Mr. and Mrs. Brandon will be there. Nothing bad is going to happen." I gave him my sweetest smile hoping he would soften his attitude a bit.

"As long as they're going to be there but you better be careful, Bella," he said and his voice was still laced with concern. "Let's go before you're late."

I gave him a big hug and ran to the car.

* * *

The night was going great. Alice picked the perfect mix of music that had everyone dancing. She even threw in some old school music to make Rosalie and Jasper happy. He seemed to share her love for the old stuff.

Rosalie, Alice and I danced a few times but they were spending most of their time with Collin and Jasper. I didn't want to spend the night alone. I had asked Jacob to come a couple of times over the last four days but he obviously ignored my request just like everything else I said to him.

A slow song came on and, just like every other one that played, Collin and Jasper came and stole the girls away for a dance. I didn't want to stand around and watch so I went into the kitchen to get a drink. I opened the refrigerator looking for a soda but, unfortunately, the shelves were empty. I was about to go to the pantry to grab more when someone dressed in a baseball uniform handed me a Coke. I took it from him and watched him walk away.

_Damn…nice ass. Get a grip Bella._

I was just about to head to the pantry when I noticed the smell lingering faintly in the kitchen. At first it made me think of Edward and the jacket that was lying neatly under my pillow at home. It couldn't be the same. Maybe I'm just going crazy or something. I shook my head and went into the pantry to grab more soda. When I was done stocking the shelves I went back into the front room to find the girls.

I walked up behind Alice and hugged my friend around the waist as I spoke, "This is such a great party Alice. You need to have more parties like this from now on."

"This has been a lot of fun and I can't believe how many people showed up," Rosalie said.

"I know, huh. I didn't think this many people would get dressed up for Halloween. There are some cool costumes." Alice was excited about how this whole night was working out. "This is fun but I better go entertain."

We stood there and watched as Alice glided through the room talking and laughing with everyone she came in contact with. As I was watching her, a slight chill ran down my back. I got a funny feeling that someone was watching me. I looked around but I didn't see anyone looking in my direction so I blew it off.

"I'll be right back," Jasper said as he moved through the crowd to the other side of the room.

I watched Jasper as he stopped in front of the boy in the baseball uniform that I saw in the kitchen. They were talking and laughing and I got a crazy sense of déjà vu when they both looked in my direction. I couldn't see his face of course because of the mask but I got this strange feeling when I looked at him.

I shook it off as Rosalie grabbed my arm to dance to one of her favorite songs. We were dancing for a minute or so when Alice joined us. We were laughing and having a good time when the guys jumped in. We danced through the next couple of songs just enjoying the night.

An old Michael Jackson song started to play and one of the boys dressed like Michael took over the middle of the room doing all of his signature moves. The crowd opened up so everyone could watch.

I was standing and watching with everyone else when I caught that scent again. It was stronger than it was in the kitchen and easier to identify. It was _his_ scent but that was impossible. I looked around me but I was surrounded by girls so I had no idea where it was coming from.

As the Michael Jackson song ended another slow song began to play. 'Masterpiece' by Atlantic Starr was one of those old school songs that Rosalie had me listen to and it had become one of my absolute favorite songs. I wished I had someone to dance with as I saw my friends wrap their arms around their boyfriends looking so happy together.

I moved to step away from the middle of the room when I backed right into someone. I started to turn around to say I was sorry but I was stopped by two hands on my shoulders. I knew it was a boy who stopped me but he didn't let me turn around. I felt his hands run down my arms and his arms wrapped around my waist.

He pulled me close to his body and started swaying to the music. I instantly felt the warmth his body caused to flow through me. He dropped his head so it was resting on top of mine and I was hit again with _his_ scent.

_What the hell! Let it go Bella. There is no way he could be here._

Just as that thought passed through my head, I was turned around and pulled into his chest. The scent was even stronger now that my cheek was pressed against his body. How crazy is it that I've been going to bed every night with this scent to comfort me and now I find it here again right when I wanted someone to dance with. It was like my subconscious mind brought him back to me whenever I needed to feel the comfort he brought me that one day more than a month ago.

I felt kind of bad because I didn't even want to look to see who I was dancing with. I thought if I looked it would tear me away from the fantasy I was engulfing myself in. With that scent filling my head it was easy to fantasize that I was dancing with Edward. It was amazing and strange at the same time. It was like we were the only two people in the room dancing to a song that was playing for just the two of us. I could see his face again and those beautiful green eyes just staring at me. I wished he was really here but it was one of those wishes that could never come true so I was going to enjoy this feeling while it lasted.

As the song ended he leaned down, kissed me on the cheek and whispered in my ear, "Thank you."

_Oh my God…that voice. But it's not possible._

He let me go and walked back through the crowd. I was left stunned and frozen in place with the shock of hearing that voice. I know my memory of it may have dulled a bit over the last month and a half but that was definitely _his_ voice.

_Say something Bella…go and stop him._

Just as I started to move my feet, another voice in my ear brought me back to reality. I turned to see Rosalie standing next to me. "Hey girl, why are you just standing here?" she asked.

"Hey Bella, what's up?" Alice asked coming up right after Rosalie.

I turned to look for him again but he was gone. "You two aren't going to believe me," I said as I turned to look at my two friends. I didn't know how to let them in on my delusion.

"What?" they said at the same time.

"I think, and I know this sounds crazy, but I think Edward is here." After I said it I felt really stupid because it just couldn't be possible.

"Bella, he can't be," Alice said.

"Bella, Jasper said he lives in California. He can't be here." Rosalie said trying to be the voice of reason.

"I know and that's what makes it so crazy."

"Then why would you think that?" Rose asked.

"I was just dancing with that guy in the baseball uniform and he smelled just like him. Then, when he thanked me for the dance, his voice was the same. I couldn't see his face of course but it had to be him," I said in a serious tone. They had to know I wasn't kidding about this.

"Bella, I know you want to believe he was here but it's just not possible," Alice said with compassion.

"I know. I just wish…" I let my sentence trail off.

* * *

It was almost eleven o'clock and the night was coming to a close. Alice announced that this would be the last song of the night and it was another slow one. I know she just wanted to dance with Jasper one last time before the night was over. Since I didn't have anyone to dance with I started the clean up a little early. I was putting the soda cans in a bag when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Hey beautiful, will you dance with me?"

I turned around to see Jacob standing there with a huge smile on his face. The shocks just seemed to keep coming as he put his hands on my hips and pulled me to him. 'Two Occasions' by The Deele was playing now. This was another of those old school songs that made it to my favorite list and it seemed perfect to be dancing with Jacob to this song.

"I didn't think you were coming," I said to him with a small hint of hurt in my voice.

"I almost didn't. I was so angry with you for shutting me out again," he said with his own pain in his voice.

"Jake, I'm so sorry about Rachel. I wish you would have told me."

"I tried Bella. You just kept yelling at me and…" he stopped mid-sentence. "It doesn't matter now. I made it here and I just want to dance with you," he said as he pulled me closer to him.

We moved slowly to the music and after about a minute he spoke, "Bella?" I lifted my head to look him in the eye. "I'm sorry."

"So am I."

We just stared at each other not even moving to the music anymore. Then he did the one thing I never expected. He leaned down and kissed me. His lips were soft and warm against mine. I've been waiting for a kiss from him for a year and a half now but I never got more than a kiss on the cheek or forehead.

As the kiss turned more passionate I opened my mouth a little so he would know I was ready for more. He gave me just what I wanted as his tongue brushed against mine. I never had a real kiss before and Jacob made my first one special. It was slow and sweet and, for the first time since we started our relationship, I truly felt like his focus was on me alone.

Far too soon for my liking, Jacob slowly broke our kiss and rested his forehead against mine. "I should have done that sooner."

I was speechless. There was nothing I could say that would make this moment any better. Before I knew it he lifted me in his arms so he was standing upright and my toes barely grazed the floor. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders so I could hold on. It was such a strange thing to be in public with each other; out in the open and happy. I closed my eyes, put my chin on his shoulder and just relished in the feeling.

* * *

**A/N: Bella finally gets her first kiss. Took Jacob long enough. And I really would like to know the answer to the question…was Edward really there or not? Let me know what you think.**

**Thanks for reading. I hope you liked it.**


	11. Love, Loss and Longing

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, musical content, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**I want send a huge thank you to my friend and beta Andromida1964 for dealing with my neurotic personality today. She saved me and gave me everything I needed to make this chapter work. And, because she is so amazing, her fic "Carlisle Pays While Bella Preys" has been nominated for the Best Dark fic award. Please check this story out and then log in to http(colon)/gemawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com/** **and give her your votes.**

* * *

**BPOV**

"Things have been so crazy lately. I have some good news. I joined the swim team at school. Now I can be like you. Remember when you told me about all those medals you won. I can only hope to be half as good.

School is going great. I'm back to having all A's again. Public speaking has been really hard for me but I'm better now. I'm finding more confidence everyday to be up there talking in front of everyone. I like it. It feels good to not be afraid all the time.

Journalism is awesome. Mr. Collins says that I'm so close to where I need to be to have one of my news stories published. I think I made a fool of myself though because I gave him a big hug when he told me that. It was stupid…I know but really, how exciting is that? I finally decided what my final project would be. Sam told me about Jake and…" I stopped mid-sentence as my excitement about Jacob took over my thoughts.

"Oh, guess what? Jake finally kissed me! I know…its pretty crazy, huh. We've also been more open about being together over the last three weeks. I've never been happier. I almost came and told you the very next day but something came up."

I felt the worry come back and hit me full force. A slight breeze blew my hair across my right cheek. That always happens when I'm here. I know that it's probably because it's an open area with no buildings to shield it from the wind but I always imagined that the breeze was like her hand brushing across my face, comforting me and letting me know she was listening.

"Mom, I'm worried. I think something is really wrong with dad but you know how he is. He won't talk to anyone. He especially won't talk to me because he thinks I'm too young or I need to be protected or some other excuse he can think of." I blew out a deep breath.

"I wish there was a way I could help him somehow. If you could see his face when he comes home sometimes, you would be worried too. I know he used to talk to you about things and I hope he still does. I've never known if he comes here like I do…more often that your birthday and anniversary of course. If he does, I really hope he knows you're listening. Keep an eye on him, mom. I know he still misses you."

I sat with there with her for another hour or so, just talking. I told her all about the Halloween party and how I thought that Edward was there. I discussed the idea of me being crazy but I just chalked it up to wishful thinking. I told her all about the first kiss Jacob gave me that night but I didn't tell her about all the others I've gotten since then. I needed to keep those to myself.

I did tell her about my decision to wash and put away the jacket that still smelled like Edward. It was a hard choice to make at first but, now that I finally have Jacob, I didn't want to feel like I was cheating in any way. As much as I hated to think of it that way, keeping the memory of Edward alive everyday just felt wrong. So I hung the jacket in the back of my closet and did my best to let go of the memory of the beautiful boy I'll never see again.

I also told her about the story I was going to write for my final journalism project. I know she would have approved but I told her that I still wanted to talk to Jacob and see if he thought it would be a good idea. It was his story, after all, that gave me the inspiration. I'm hoping he's comfortable with me doing this. I don't want this to come between us.

When I left there I was happy. My mom was always the one I went to when I needed to work out my problems or I just wanted to talk. I know she can't answer me but I like the feeling that she is still there to listen. She was always so good at that. It was my way of keeping my mom in my life.

* * *

After my depression period was over and Jacob and I were together more, the six of us started hanging out together as a group. We had a few days off from school this week because tomorrow was Thanksgiving, so we decided to get together at my house to watch movies.

Each couple planned to bring something to get us through the night. Alice and Jasper were bringing the food, Rosalie and Collin were bringing the ice cream and Jacob and I were renting the movies. Charlie didn't have to work for the holiday so he and Billy got the guys together to play poker. They were playing at Billy's house leaving us with the house to ourselves.

We were going to meet about seven o'clock but I wanted to talk to Jacob before everyone got there, so I told him to come over at six instead. I got the shock of my life when two strong arms grabbed me from behind, yanked me out of my closet and threw me on the bed.

I screamed but when I realized it was Jacob, I hit him. "God damn it Jake! What the hell are you doing here?"

"What?" He faked his innocence. "You told me to come over early."

"I told you to come over at six and it's not even five-thirty yet."

He shrugged his shoulders. "I couldn't wait anymore." A big smile stretched across his face. "Without soccer to distract me, you're all I got doll."

I smiled at that. I was lying on my back and he was on his side next to me. I went to put my arms around his neck but, before I pulled him in for a kiss, I slapped him hard on the back of the head.

"Ow, what was that for?" he asked while reaching back to rub his head.

"_That _was for scaring me." I used the same hand to pull him down into a kiss and, when we separated, I gave him a devilish smile and said, "_That_ was for coming over early."

He got an evil grin on his face. He came closer so his lips were less than an inch from mine. His hand was stroking my hair and he was looking right into my eyes. "I think I deserve a few more of those since I'm extra early."

His lips were on mine as soon as the last word was out of his mouth. His tongue brushed my bottom lip and my lips opened granting his silent wish. Our kiss deepened and he was leaning more of his body on top of me with one of his legs between mine. He pulled his hand out of my hair and ran it down my arm so softly that it caused a trail of goose bumps to appear instantly.

It felt so good to be with him like this. I waited for so long and, now that I have him, I can't get enough of him. I never wanted to stop kissing him but unfortunately, right now, I had to.

I put my hand on his cheek and gave him a very slight push while I pulled myself away. "Jake, I could do this all night but there's something I want to talk to you about." When he tried to give me his lost puppy look I added, "It's really important."

He exaggerated his exhale and said, "Alright. What's on your mind doll?"

"I think we better go downstairs to talk. Charlie will be home soon and you don't want him to catch you up here." All of a sudden he looked terrified and I couldn't help but laugh.

He jumped off the bed in the fastest move I've ever seen him make. He reached out his hand to help me up and we headed downstairs. When we got to the couch, he sat down first and pulled me down to sit as close as possible to him without actually being in his lap.

"Alright doll…shoot," he said.

I shifted just a little bit so I could at least look at him when I talked. "I want to talk to you about my final project for journalism."

The confusion was plain on his face. "Umm…okay. What's on your mind?"

I grabbed his hand because I didn't know how hard it was going to be for him to talk about this. I was going to do this story regardless of his opinion but I really wanted to have his support through the process.

"Well, our final report can be on any topic we deem newsworthy. I talked to Mr. Collins today about my idea and he told me to run with it. He said that he has enough confidence in me to do a good job." I squeezed his hand not only for my reassurance but for his as well. I swallowed hard and continued, "I want to write a story about domestic violence and the effects it has on a family. The story will cover the effects on the immediate family and the extended family unit meaning parents and siblings of those involved."

His eyes shifted to the window before they became unfocused. He sat there without moving for a few minutes before I decided that I didn't want the silence to continue. I started to tell him about the work I've already done on this.

"I've already started gathering my research. I've got statistics showing how many families are dealing with this issue and the demographics that go along with it. I've got lists of agencies that people can call for help. I've started to set up interviews. So far, I've set up a meeting to speak with one social worker and an operator on a crisis hotline."

I stopped for a minute because he still looked lost. He still wasn't moving and he never pulled his eyes from the window. I worried I had gone too far and maybe said too much. I waited for another minute to see if he would do…something. I remember Sam telling me how Jacob just lost it and shut down. Seeing the look on his face now, I can see why Sam and the other guys got freaked out.

I pushed myself up and moved my leg to the other side of his so I was straddling his lap. His expression was scaring me. I didn't want him to be upset or angry that I was doing this. I leaned forward and hugged him around his neck to try and comfort him any way I could.

I moved my head to whisper in his ear, "I'm so sorry, Jake. I know this is hard to think about. I don't want it to hurt you." I kissed him on the cheek before I told him why I wanted to do this story. I leaned back to look into his eyes even though it didn't seem to register with him that I was still there.

"Jake, I want to do this as a kind of tribute to Rachel and you and Billy. I want people to know how this can devastate a family and the strength it takes for a family to get through it and put their lives back together."

I felt his arms move around my back and he pulled me to him with a force that knocked the air out of me. He buried his face in my neck and just started to cry.

If I weren't so worried about him I would have tried to loosen the death grip he had around me right now. I never thought I would see him lose control like this. I sat quietly and held him as tight as I could because he seemed like he really needed this.

"Sorry Bella." His whisper was so soft I almost missed it.

"There's nothing to apologize for. I knew it was going to be hard for you." My voice was just as soft as his. It was hard to keep my own tears from falling when I saw him lose control like this but I knew I had to. He didn't need me breaking down with him.

"It was just so bad Bella. There were…bruises everywhere. Her f-f-face was so swollen and p-purple that I…I couldn't even tell that it was…my sister." Listening to him stuttering his word made me feel guilty for even bringing this up. He tightened his grip for just a second before he let me go. "I hate to think of her that way."

I took a couple of deep breaths to bring the air back into my lungs. I think if that would have gone on any longer I would have passed out from lack of oxygen. He seemed to realize what he had done to me because in the next second his eyes grew wide and he panicked.

"Oh my God Bella, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." He brushed my hair back to look at my face. "Are you okay?"

I smiled at him. "It was just a little too tight but I'm fine."

I reached up to wipe the last of his tears away. It was kind of strange to be doing this for someone else since I always seemed to be the one who ended up in tears. My actions, however, embarrassed him and brought out his macho side.

"Damn, I can't believe I'm crying in front of you. You must think I'm like some girl or something." His voice rumbled a bit and I could tell he was angry with himself. "Guys shouldn't cry, let alone cry in front of a girl."

"Wow, what a guy thing to say." There was no way I was going to stop the eye roll that came after that statement. I decided it was safe to tease him a bit. "I promise I won't tell anyone…well, maybe except for Paul. He gossips like a girl."

"You wouldn't," he said narrowing his eyes at me. His hands suddenly found their way to my ribs and he began the torture. He knew my most ticklish spots and he attacked every one.

Through my fits of laughter I heard him talking, "Who are you gonna tell?"

"No…one," I choked out.

"I didn't hear you…what?" I could hear his laugh and the torture continued.

"No…" _Pant. _"One…" _Pant_. "Can't…" _Pant. _"Breathe…"

He was relentless. I couldn't tell how much longer he continued before he finally let up. I collapsed against his chest breathing like I had just run a marathon. He put his arms around me again. He was still laughing at me.

I had enough strength to snake my arms in between his waist and the couch so I was hugging him back. When I gained enough control over my breathing to form coherent sentences I said, "That wasn't funny."

"Yes it was," he said with another laugh. "You better be nice to me. I know where all the good spots are and I'm not above torture." He guided me back so I was looking at him again. "Bella," his face was suddenly serious, "thank you."

"For What?" I asked, obviously confused.

"For writing your story. For caring enough about us and others to make you even want to do it in the first place. I know I freaked out earlier but I really am happy that you wanted to do this. I will be there with you every step of the way."

He slowly leaned in for another kiss but stopped just before he reached my lips. A fraction of a second later, I heard the noise that made him stop. The tires coming to a stop in front of the house meant only one thing…Charlie was home.

* * *

"Alright we got burgers and fries for everyone," Jasper hollered out as he and Alice came through the door.

Charlie had left about ten minutes before they showed up and Jacob and I were in the kitchen standing closer together than we should have been since we were just getting sodas for everyone. Luckily we had just finished the kiss we were sharing before Alice walked in. She still couldn't get used to Jacob and me together as a couple and she slipped sometimes. The shriek of 'Bella, what are you doing' was ear-piercing at times. I would usually just glare at her until she quit with her attitude. I was hoping she would come around soon but I wasn't going to hold my breath.

Jacob sniffed the air. "Ahhh, that smells good. Where did you go?" Leave it to Jacob's stomach to override any other emotions in the room.

"Duh…obvious." A very small voice sounded behind Jasper. I'm sure she didn't mean for anyone to hear her but, when I saw Jasper jerk his elbow back slightly, she blushed as she realized it was louder than she thought.

Jacob, thank god, always chose to ignore Alice's comments toward him. He's known for a long time now that he is not, and probably never will be, one of Alice's favorite people. He just goes with the flow and lets the things she says roll off his back.

"Wendy's," Jasper answered. "And yes Jake, yours is a double," Jasper added knowing he was going to be asked the question.

"Nice," Jacob replied while rubbing his hands together waiting to dig in.

Alice, still behind Jasper, rolled her eyes with a disgusted look on her face before turning to me. "Where are Rose and Collin?"

I shot her a look that told her to cut the crap before I answered her. "They're on their way. They should be here soon." We settled into the living room and got everything ready to start our night. We rented two movies that had come out during the summer but neither of us had seen them yet.

Rosalie and Collin showed up about ten minutes after we sat down and we decided to watch my movie first. I rented She's The Man with Amanda Bynes. It's about a girl who attends her brother's school dressed up as him so she can play soccer on the boys' soccer team.

It was a good movie except we had to listen to the boys going on and on about how a girl could never pretend to be a man and pull it off for more than a couple of minutes. Then Jacob and Jasper went on a rant about how a girl wouldn't be able to hold her own when trying to play with 'the big boys' as they called them. Boy did that set Rosalie off. She was yelling at them about how a girl can do anything a boy could do and probably better. It was the standard argument and it wasn't swaying their opinion one bit this time. It was actually pretty funny watching the two of them defend their beloved sport.

After the argument was over, we watched the movie Jacob picked out. He picked something to do with cars, of course. His choice; The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift. It was the third in a series of way overrated racing movies. It didn't even have Paul Walker or Vin Diesel, who were in the first movie, in it to make it bearable to watch. But I watched it like the dutiful girlfriend because Jacob really loved this stuff.

With both movies over, we were eating our dessert and just hanging out talking about whatever came to anyone's mind. Alice brought up Christmas shopping on Black Friday. No one but Rosalie wanted to be involved in that. Jasper and I talked a little about our journalism projects but, remembering Jacob's reaction earlier, I changed that subject as quick as I could. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of mentioning Mike Newton's new girlfriend.

"Gah, did you see Jessica? She was completely throwing herself at Mike. The fucking whore just dumped Tyler not even a week ago." Rosalie was pretty disgusted as she started talking about the sluts of the school.

"Tyler's not complaining though. Lauren picked up right where Jessica left off," Alice said.

"I think they've made their way through most of the freshman class already," Rosalie added.

"They all tried to hit on me when I first got here," Jasper said as his body looked like it was about to go into convulsions.

"What do you mean _all_?" Alice asked with a hint of anger.

"You know the ones." Jasper started counting them off on his fingers. "Jessica, Lauren, Tanya, Kate and Victoria. I don't think I had even made it to my first class before Jessica tried to get me to take her out. As much as I hate to say it, I might have if Rose hadn't told me about you before I came home," he said to her with a cute little smirk that brought out his dimples.

"Something you will owe me for until the day you die," Rosalie laughed. Alice leaned over and gave Jasper a quick kiss. "So will you pixie. I saved you from Mike Newton remember."

"God, don't remind me," Alice motioned like she was going to gag herself. We all laughed at that.

"I just can't believe there are that many girls our age who, not only have had sex before, but enough that everyone knows about it. We are only fifteen for Christ sake." I really was shocked. It amazed me that girls would do that now.

"Please Bella," Rosalie rolled her eyes, "I've seen you getting pretty hot and heavy with Jake. Don't tell me that it hasn't crossed your mind."

_Wow did it just get really hot in here?_

I looked at Jacob and blushed so much that I felt like my face was on fire. "Umm… well…" My bottom lip found its way between my teeth and I bit down hard.

"That's what I thought." Rosalie said with her smug tone.

"Thinking it and doing it are two very different things, Rose," I countered.

"You're just afraid that Charlie will shoot his d…"

"Well, look at the time." Collin cut Rosalie off before she could finish that sentence. "I better call my dad to come get us and take you home Rose." He called his dad and we talked a bit longer while we waited for him to show up. When we heard the car horn, Collin and Rosalie said their goodbyes and they were gone.

Jasper sat up and followed Collin's lead. "Yeah, I'll walk Alice home and have my dad pick me up there." He looked over at Alice. "You ready to go pretty lady?"

Alice giggled, "Yes, let's go handsome." She grabbed his hand and he led her out the door.

As I closed the door I felt Jacob slide his arms around my waist. He put his lips to my ear and whispered, "So, you think about it?" His breath on my ear gave me goose bumps but his words made me nervous.

_God, how could I not think about it?_

"Umm…" I couldn't form a sentence with him breathing in my ear like that.

"Do you think about me that way, Bella?" he asked in a low voice as he placed a trail of kisses down my neck to my shoulder moving my shirt out of the way where he needed to.

_Yes._

"Jake," I whispered. I almost couldn't talk at all. "You know my dad _would_ try to shoot you if you tried."

He turned me around and trapped me against the door by placing his hands on either side of my shoulders. He put his lips to my other shoulder this time and kissed his way back to my ear. He whispered again, "You didn't answer my question."

I was so lost in my thoughts about being with him that I barely noticed his arms as they moved around my waist and pulled me to him. My arms instinctively went around his neck as he pressed his lips to mine in a searing kiss that heated my entire body.

I moved with him as he started walking backwards, never once breaking our kiss. He stopped, pulled me down with him and, for the second time today, I was straddling Jacob's lap on the couch. His hands were on my waist but, within seconds, he started sliding them down my legs. Our kiss became more urgent with each stroke of his hands. He broke the kiss only to move his lips down to my neck.

"Bella," he whispered in between kisses, "do you want me?"

_**Yes.**_

"We can't Jake." I was struggling with a need for him that I have never felt before.

"Why?" He began kissing down the open space my v-neck t-shirt allowed him access to. He stopped just long enough to speak. "Charlie won't be home for at least a couple more hours."

_**Do it Bella. You know you want to.**_

_You want him Bella but you can't do that._

He made his way back up my neck and pulled me in for another mind-blowing kiss. His hands moved to the outside of my thighs. I felt my body reacting to him in new and very exciting ways. My hips started to move against my will. When he felt me move, his hands made their way to my ass and he pulled me forward so I was right on top of him.

_**Damn this feels good.**_

He broke our kiss again. "Bella," his breaths were frantic, "I..."

_No._ _Don't do it Bella._

"want..."

_Stop this Bella._

"you."

_**Shit! Just go for it Bella. DO IT!**_

Jacob's hands slowly came around to the inside of my thighs. He was kissing me again as his hands made their way up my legs. He was almost to the middle where the wetness was starting to soak into my jeans. Our kissing was more frenzied than before and the thoughts in my head were both excited and panicked.

_**Yes! Do it Bella. You want this.**_

_No Bella you can't._

His hands moved closer.

_**Yes Bella! Let him do this.**_

Closer

_Stop him Bella. You're not ready._

Jacob's thumbs brushed the center of my body. I couldn't stop the moan that his hands caused me to make. His hands gripped tighter, he rubbed a little harder and he brought his hips up to push himself against me.

_**Yes!**_

_NO!_

"No Jake!" I seriously panicked and moved myself off his lap as fast as I could. I moved to the other side of the couch and covered my face with my hands. I was so embarrassed. I can't believe I did that.

I couldn't even look at him as I apologized. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just can't." When he didn't say anything every thought in my head was telling me that I just pushed him away for good.

_He's not going to want to be with me now._

"I'm sorry Jake." I couldn't say it enough. "Please don't hate me. I don't…" He cut me off.

"Bella, I gotta go." He jumped off the couch and headed for the door.

I looked up in disbelief. He was really leaving? He's walking out on me?

He turned to look at me before he left. "I'll see you tomorrow." He hurried out the door slamming it behind him.

I ran to my room, threw myself on the bed and cried because the boy I love just ran out me. I didn't have anyone to talk to. I couldn't call the girls because they would just want to hurt him again. I couldn't talk to my dad for obvious reasons. I had no one.

* * *

**EPOV**

"Mom, how much longer? It smells so good." Emmett has been whining for hours. He was in the kitchen for the twentieth time today trying to get a taste of the food.

"Emmett Cullen if you don't leave my kitchen I swear to you, you will get _no_ food," mom threatened.

Dad and I looked at each other and laughed as we saw Emmett tear around the corner and throw himself back on the couch.

"Em, why do you have to keep this up? Mom has had dinner on the table at one o'clock sharp every year since before you were born." I threw the pillow in my hands at him. "Do you really think this year is going to be different?"

His energy level was on high and he rocked himself on the couch.

"Son, why are you so edgy?" dad asked still laughing.

"I'm not edgy. I'm starving. Mom hasn't let me near the kitchen all day." His leg started bouncing as he finished the sentence. "A few muffins and an apple just isn't doing it for me."

"Well then, you only have ten more minutes to wait. I believe you can handle that." We couldn't stop laughing at him.

"Edward," mom called, "can you please come and set the table?"

I got up and made my way to the kitchen. All the place settings were on the counter and I had the easy job of putting them on the table. Thanksgiving in the Cullen house was always a special event. My parents were very old fashioned and believed that this holiday should always be celebrated in style and with family. Most of our family lived elsewhere so it was always just the four of us.

After I set the table, I helped her put out the food. With everything laid out the way she wanted it, mom walked through the doorway and called Emmett and dad to come and eat. They walked in and we all took our places at the table. One o'clock on the dot. You could set your watch by my mom.

Our Thanksgiving dinner always started the same way. We always began with a prayer for our good fortune of having a loving family who always stands behind one another. Then we would take a minute to reflect on what we're thankful for. My dad would then carve the turkey and we could eat.

I don't know what it was but something about today seemed different. When mom was speaking there was an excitement that seemed a little off…not normal. Before dad started to speak, he looked at her and I could tell they shared a secret.

_They're hiding something._

"This has been a great year for our family. You boys have grown up so much and I'm happy to say we've gotten closer to one another. My beautiful Esme, you are even more stunning now than you have ever been and I am the luckiest man alive to still have you look at me with so much love in your eyes. Recently, I have been blessed to have the opportunity of a lifetime fall into my lap. The wait has taken longer than I thought it would and, after my second interview last month, I am extremely excited to say that I have been offered the Chief of Surgery position that I have been working my entire career for."

I looked at mom and she had a look of pride on her face. I looked back at dad and he was beaming. "You're serious?" I questioned, stunned by his announcement.

Emmett jumped up and went to pat my dad on the back and shake his hand. "Congrats dad. You deserve this."

He moved back to his chair and I stepped up to congratulate my dad. I shook his hand and gave my mom a hug before I sat back down. I tried to keep my cool but I was flying high on the inside. I knew what this meant for me. I was ready to go back.

The mood around the table was light and joyful. We watched as dad sliced the turkey and everyone began passing the food around the table. Our conversations were all centered around our upcoming move. I was hoping to go right away. There was no reason to stay here anymore but my dad had other plans.

"Now boys, I need you to realize that this move can't happen immediately. I have to be out there to take over the position next week. But, it will take me a little time to find a house for us. We have had a realtor looking for houses for the past month just in case. I have several to look at when I get there and your mother and I will make a choice within the month."

"Another month?" Emmett blurted out. "I'm ready now. Let's go."

I just sat and listened to my big kid of a brother try and whine to get his way. He really was never going to learn that the whining shit never worked.

"Emmett," mom spoke up, "calm down. You, Edward and I will stay here until just after the New Year. You boys will finish up the current term in school so you can start fresh in your new one. The timing couldn't be more perfect and you won't miss a beat either here or there." She was always so logical. I loved her for that.

He stopped arguing. He probably realized that there was nothing he could do. We went back to our dinner but I could tell that Emmett was still agitated. Mom and dad were talking to each other so I was able to quietly talk with Emmett.

"Em, calm down. It's only another month." I said trying to settle him down.

"Yeah I know but you said…"

"Never mind what I said. There's nothing we can do about that right now. We'll be back there soon and we can take care of it when we get there. I'm sure you'll get your chance." I reassured him.

"Hell yeah. Blondie is all mine."

* * *

I was in my room lying in bed just listening to music thinking about how much things in my life have changed in the past three months. It's so amazing to me how one day can change everything you thought you knew. For me, one hour was all it took for my whole world to tilt on its axis.

I've thought about that brown haired beauty so often that her face is etched into my memory. There's no escaping it. I tried to fight it at first but the day we got back to school I realized quickly that things were different. I just didn't want to be there anymore. My mind was already a thousand miles away.

Jane and I didn't stay together too long after we got back. Every time I tried to talk to her it just didn't feel right. My heart just wasn't in it anymore. Truth be told, my heart and mind were together and both were miles away with Bella.

I wanted to be with her. The pull that I felt towards her the first time I saw her hasn't gone away. If anything, now that I know for sure we're moving near her, the pull has gotten a million times stronger. Everything in me is being drawn to her. I wonder if she feels it too.

Who am I kidding? I was able to hold her when it looked like she needed someone. I can't expect it to make the difference to her that it did to me. It wasn't very long ago and it's like I can still feel her with me. How did this girl turn my world upside down without being anywhere near me?

_**God Edward, when did you start acting like such a girl?**_

_The day I was hypnotized by those beautiful brown eyes._

I rolled to my side and I saw my school bag sitting on the floor by my desk. I decided that the only way to calm my nerves right now was to retrieve its hidden treasure. I locked my door as I made my way across the room. If Emmett ever found out about this he would take away the man card that he said I was finally old enough to get.

I pulled out the shirt I wore the first time I saw her, held her and breathed her into me. She trusted me enough that day to be there for her as she cried. The tears that soaked into my shirt and the scent of strawberries that clung to every fiber were all I had left of Bella.

Every time I hold this shirt I think of her and wonder how she is. She never told me why she was in so much pain. I wonder if she's able to be happy or if the pain she felt that day still has a hold on her. I can't be there for her now but I'd like to believe that she remembers me holding her and comforting her.

I wish there was a way to let her know how much of a comfort she is to me too. I've slept with this shirt on more times in the last three months than I care to admit. It brings her back to me when I just want to be close to her. I always feel like she's with me while I sleep.

After three month though, the smell of strawberries is fading but hopefully there's still enough to hold on to for one more month.

_I'll be there soon, Bella. One more month until I can see you and hold you again the way I remember. Please…I pray to every God in the heavens that she remembers me too._

* * *

**Thank you so much for reading. I love to hear from everyone so please let me know what you think...good or bad it's all appreciated.**


	12. Teenagers In Love

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, musical content, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**I'm sending out a huge thank you to my friend and beta andromida1964 who has talked me off of many ledges in these last couple of weeks. Also for getting this back to me so fast. Thanks for everything hon.**

**I am so sorry this update has taken forever to come out. RL brought me down and it affected everything I wrote. Long story short, Alice has thanked me many times for not letting her end up in prison for murdering Jacob. I'm glad I didn't because she is having so much more fun now.**

**And now...back to the story.**

* * *

**BPOV**

_How many more nights will I spend crying over Jacob Black?_ Maybe Alice was right. I had been holding on to the person I wanted Jacob to be, not seeing who he really was. Watching him run out of my door tonight brought the pain back in crippling force. I trusted him and he let me down…_again_.

I knew it was partially my fault. I shouldn't have led him on the way I did but I honestly didn't know I _wasn't_ going to do it until the last minute. Part of me really wanted to but the sensible side of my brain was screaming at me telling me it wasn't right. Besides being only fifteen, I wanted my first time to be more romantic than rushing on the couch hoping Charlie didn't come home. If he couldn't understand that then there was no way we could be together.

I wished I could call Alice. I needed her right now. She had always been there for me to help when Jacob would leave but I couldn't tell her about this. I could call Rose but she would probably march over to Jacob's house in the middle of the night and try to strangle him. No, I was on my own. I had to deal with this one alone.

"_Are you okay?"_

My body jerked upright as I heard the faint voice in my room. I thought maybe Charlie came in when he heard me crying but there was no one here. I buried my face back in the pillow and let the tears fall silently.

"_Can I help?"_

I heard it again a little louder than before but still too quiet to know who's talking. Maybe Charlie had the TV on. I got up and cracked my door a little to listen. Pure silence, well except for Charlie's snoring. I went back to bed and thought about tomorrow.

It's Thanksgiving and Billy and Jacob were supposed to come over. _Would he even want to be in the same room with me? _He certainly didn't want to be anywhere near me tonight. The tears flowed harder again as I replayed the look on his face as he bolted out of my house. He probably didn't even look back. I was clutching my phone in my hand now hoping to hear from him, but I got nothing. I was so close to calling Alice. I needed someone and she was all I had.

"_I don't want to just leave you here like this._ _Please let me help?"_

Just then, my memory pulled his face into view. Those magnetic green eyes, his god-like face and those lips…it was Edward. It was Edward's voice I was hearing now. My subconscious was thrusting him at me knowing that I had no one to lean on. Edward, my beautiful stranger, was there for me again offering the comfort I needed using the words he spoke to me the day we met.

I promised myself that I would try to forget him but it was impossible. There was something…a pull to him that I felt when I had no one else. I needed him the day of that game when I was crying my eyes out. I needed him every day in October when I was a broken mess. I needed him now, as I felt completely abandoned. I closed my eyes and let myself believe he was holding me again. His touch was like nothing I had ever felt before. I wished he was here and I could have his arms around me everyday.

This moment, falling completely into my memories of him, was perfect. The only thing missing that would make this better would be his scent. That smell was the only tangible proof I had that he was real. I was kicking myself for washing that jacket. I only did it because I felt like I wasn't being fair to Jacob. Look where that got me.

I pushed all thoughts of Jacob out of my mind. I just wanted to be with Edward tonight. With his face in my mind, I wrapped my arms around my body and pretended I was in the security of his embrace.

_I wish you were here with me, Edward. I want to feel your arms around me again and never have to let you go._

* * *

Thanksgiving dinner was going to be done and on the table at one o'clock. Just like every year, Alice and her parents were coming. However, this year Billy and Jacob were also on the guest list. This day was going to be interesting.

I was nervous after last night. Not only was I going to be dealing with the awkwardness of being around Jacob but I was going to have to keep another secret from Alice. She was going to see through me, there was no doubt about it.

As always, I told everyone to be here about twelve-thirty. That would give everyone a chance to relax and settle in before it was time to eat. I wasn't expecting Jacob and Billy to show up at eleven. Billy and Charlie were going to watch as much of the football game as they could before it was time to eat.

I hoped Jacob would watch with them but, as soon as they were in the door, he was in the kitchen with me. He had sort of a pained, almost heartbroken, expression on his face. I was still embarrassed after last night and I felt guilty about falling asleep while dreaming of Edward. I was so wrong to think of someone else just because I was angry with Jacob. He didn't deserve that. My guilt and the look on his face almost had me in tears. I turned away; I couldn't face him anymore.

I moved to the counter to finish getting the food ready. Jacob stood right behind me as I was trying to chop the vegetables for a salad but my shaking hands made it almost impossible. If I kept going I would probably lose a finger.

Jacob reached around me and took the knife from my hand and placed it on the counter. He wrapped his arms around me and brought his chin to rest on my shoulder. I placed my hands on his arms in the only move I could make to hug him back. That embrace reassured me and I knew he didn't hate me for what happened.

"I'm sorry for last night, Bella. I didn't mean to run out like that." He placed a kiss just under my ear. "I had to leave so I wouldn't push you any farther and I knew, if I stayed, I would have."

I didn't say anything back. I squeezed his arms a little so he knew I was listening but if I opened my mouth right now I would start to cry. I felt so horrible last night and I wasn't quite over it yet…even with his apology.

"I saw your face when I left and I know I didn't handle it well. I should have stayed so we could talk but I had to get away from you."

"What?" The last sentence surprised me and a little anger slipped into my voice. "You _had_ to leave me? Oh no, wait…you had to _get away_ from me?"

He exhaled quickly. "That's not how I meant it." He turned me so I was looking at him. He placed his hands on my shoulders and dipped his head just a little so he was at my eye level. "Bella, I'm not gonna lie. I really wanted to be with you last night. All the kissing and touching…well it got me _too_ excited." He brought his right hand to my cheek. "When you jumped away from me I was at a loss. If I had tried to get closer to you after that I wouldn't have been able to keep my hands off you."

I was breathing heavy and I swallowed hard at his confession. Alone in my room last night, I had accused him of not caring enough to stay with me. But, if I understood him right, he was saying he left me because he cared about me. My guilt slapped me across the face again and I was left speechless.

"It was obvious you weren't ready, Bella. I didn't want to force myself on you so I left you. The only problem was I left you hurting and thinking bad about me, didn't I?"

"Yes. I was up crying half the night." I dropped my eyes. "I thought you hated me."

"No doll, I couldn't hate you. I wasn't too happy that we had to stop but I couldn't hate you for it." He placed a kiss on my forehead and pulled me to him.

"Why didn't you call or send me a message or something?" It was a reasonable question. "If you felt so bad about it why didn't you try to explain?"

"I'm sorry about that. I left here and ran to… um…" he paused slightly, "Sam's house. I needed to talk to someone about it and he's the only one who won't spread it around school."

I'm glad he told me what happened and I felt million times better. He cared about me enough to stop himself from trying again. He left me last night to keep from hurting me. The hundred pound weight that I was carrying around on my shoulders had lifted and I felt so much better.

I pulled my head back to look into his eyes. I saw sadness there coming from his guilt over the way he handled himself last night. I didn't want him to feel guilty. He was trying to protect me in a weird way. Because I felt so much better about everything, I wanted to tease him a little to lighten the mood.

"Aww, you were protecting my honor. How sweet." I smiled at him and brushed my lips across his cheek.

The smile that crossed his face lit him up like a thousand lights were shining on him. "You don't hate me, doll. Are we okay?" he voiced his concern.

"Yes Jake, we're good. Thank you for thinking about me but next time, please save me the pain of thinking you're running out on me again. Will you please just call me and explain?" He and I had already been through too much and I really didn't know if I could handle this happening again.

"You mean…I get a next time?" he asked with mischievous look on his face.

"Ugh, Jake…" I let my thought drop and just pushed him away.

His laugh filled the kitchen. "I'm kidding. I'll do anything to keep you happy, doll." He winked at me before leaning down to kiss me. We had to keep it innocent with our dads sitting in the next room. It was hard but we managed.

* * *

Alice and her parents walked through the door right on time. She walked directly into the kitchen after giving Charlie a hug and kiss on the cheek. I was talking quietly with Jacob about our plans for the weekend. I was so glad that Jacob and I had our talk earlier and we were able to clear the air between us again. It made it that much easier to defend him against Alice's attitude.

She ran into the kitchen and threw her arms around me almost knocking me over. She let me go and turned to Jacob with the look of disgust that was always present when she looked at him. "Can you leave? I need to talk to Bella," she snapped.

"Alice," I growled at my friend.

"What? This is important and I don't need your _shadow_ around for this conversation." She was being even more hateful to him than usual.

"Leave him alone, Alice. What's your problem?" She was starting to piss me off. I understood where she was coming from but she didn't need to be so down right rude.

"Forget it, Bella." She turned and started to walk away muttering under her breath, "Jake's the only thing that matters anymore."

I just watched her walk away in complete shock over her attitude. Everybody was happy last night when she and Jasper left. Why would she be in this kind of mood today? Something had to have happened last night. I'll have to wait to ask her about it.

Jacob helped move all the food to the tables that were set up in the living room. There was no way our group was fitting in our kitchen. Once everything was set, we all took our seats and waited for Charlie to carve the turkey.

Conversations flowed lightly. The adults were talking amongst themselves leaving Jacob, Alice and I to our own conversations. Alice was sitting next to me so, when Jacob turned to talk to Billy for a minute, we had a chance for a semi-private conversation.

"Alice," I whispered, "are you okay?"

She whispered back, "I'm great, Bella."

"Then why are you upset?"

"Bella, I have something to tell you but it has be in private." Alice's eyes widened and her excitement was visible.

"You can't just tell me here? No one is listening." I tried to get her to tell me.

She started squirming in her chair anxious to get away from the table. "No way Bella. _No one_," she stressed the word as she glanced at Jacob, "can find out what I have to say." She looked like she was ready to explode.

I laughed at her excitement. "Okay Alice, you'll just have to stay over tonight so we can talk."

"Nope can't do that. I'm going shopping with mom and Rose tomorrow remember?"

"Black Friday…right I forgot." I rolled my eyes at her. I offered another solution. "Well then when I get up to go serve the dessert you can come with me and we'll talk then."

"I don't know, Bella." She was nervous. "What if someone walks in while we're talking?"

"You can watch the door while I cut the pie. Deal?" She was visibly bouncing in her chair now and dying to talk. I knew she couldn't refuse.

"Fine but we have to be quiet." Her smile was excessively large. Whatever she had to tell me was going to be good.

For the next hour we all sat around the table eating, laughing and having a good time. Jacob kept blowing kisses at me before every bite he took and overly exaggerating how much he liked the food. He was being ridiculous and making me laugh.

Billy mentioned the story I was writing for my journalism project. He told everyone how grateful he was that someone was bringing the subject of domestic violence to light. He said he had told Rachel about it and she was willing to help me in any way possible. They both believed the earlier people were told about the issue the more it could be prevented.

I blushed, of course, as everyone at the table was firing questions at me. They were showing real interest in my work and I was glad that they all seemed to be so proud of me for taking on such a difficult and touchy subject.

It was finally time for dessert and I went to the kitchen to cut and serve the pie. Alice followed behind me pushing me hard in the back trying to get me to move faster.

"Okay Brandon, calm the hell down." I couldn't keep from laughing at her.

"Bella, you are not going to believe this," she whispered as excitedly as she could without anyone hearing her.

I grabbed the pie and started cutting it into equal slices. "Spill it then. I'm listening."

Because of our height difference she couldn't reach my ear so she stepped up right next to my arm. She was covering her mouth with her hand to make her voice extra quiet as her eyes darted back and forth trying to make sure no one was coming so she didn't get caught. It made her look like she was eight years old again. "Bella, last night," she paused to look over her shoulder, "Jasper and I…" she took another look, "…went all the way."

"You what?" I said completely surprised and forgetting to whisper.

"Shhh, keep it down." She slapped me twice on the arm for raising my voice.

I was back to the whispering. "Alice, are you serious? You did that?" I couldn't believe she was telling me the truth. All I got back from her was a very excited nod of her head. If it moved any faster her head would have fallen off.

"Oh. My. God. You better start talking girl." To say I was surprised would be an understatement. I didn't know what to say to this piece of news. Everything else was forgotten and Alice had my full attention.

"Well, Jasper walked me home and we were going to watch tv while we waited for his dad to come and pick him up." The story started innocently enough.

"Where were your mom and dad?" I know they were supposed to be home last night because they wanted to spend time with her during the holiday.

"When I came to your house, they made plans of their own. There was a note on the counter for me saying that they went out on a date and they would be home really late."

"Bella, do you need help in there?" Charlie's voice interrupted Alice's story.

"Shit." I whispered as I watched Alice's eyes widen. "Um…no, I'll be right out." I yelled back at him. "Come on, help me carry these out," I ordered Alice to help me.

She and I made our way out with plates of pumpkin pie topped with whipped cream. We set the plates in front of everyone and were about to head back to the kitchen when Jacob grabbed my hand to stop me.

"Are you okay, doll? You're blushing." He shot a smirk at me that made me think he knew what we were talking about.

_Shit, shit, shit. I have to get out of here before Charlie notices._

"Yeah I'm fine Jake. Alice and I are just talking." I tried to get him to drop it. "I better get back in there."

"Okay then, but Bella," he curled his finger to bring me closer so he could whisper in my ear, "you better keep your conversation a little more private. You're not that far away you know." He winked at me after he kissed me on the cheek.

_Holy shit! He can hear us. Alice is gonna freak._

I moved at top speed back to the kitchen where Alice was waiting for me. "Alice, we need to be quieter. Jake said he could hear us."

She got a worried look on her face. "Bella, do you think he's gonna tell?"

"No Alice. Please give him some credit. He's not the evil person you're making him out to be."

"Okay Bella, but if anyone finds out, I'll know he's the one that opened his big mouth. I will take care of it and, this time, Jasper _will know_ and be on my side."

I smirked at her. "I know Alice. Now talk. How did this happen? Were you even ready for it? How does Jasper feel about this today?" I shot my questions at her without giving her the opportunity to answer.

She laughed, "God Bella, you sound like me now." She took a breath before continuing where she left off. "Anyway, it just sort of happened. We were watching a move since my parents were gone. I turned to ask him a question and we just started kissing. That turned into touching and then our clothes were on the floor and it just happened. We were both kinda scared because he's never done that before either."

"Oh Alice, at least tell me you were careful." Sometimes the 'it just happened' excuse meant people weren't careful enough to use protection. I hoped my friends were smarter than that.

"Of course we did. Jasper said he didn't plan anything. He said he carries it just in case. It's something his dad always told him to do." Her face softened as she thought of Jasper. "He was so sweet, Bella. Always asking if I was okay. He even called me three times this morning to make sure I was still okay and not feeling bad about doing it last night." She jumped a little and reached in her pocket for her cell phone. She got an unmistakable twinkle in her eye as she spoke, "Speak of the devil…its Jasper."

Her face looked like it could have been split in two with the size of the smile she was now wearing on her face. I walked out of the kitchen to give her some privacy. I went straight to Jacob's side and he wrapped an arm around my waist.

"Do you want to sit outside with me for awhile?" I asked.

"Let's go doll." Jacob stood up and told everyone that we were just going to be sitting out on the porch.

The best thing about Colorado is the weather. You never know from one day to the next what you're going to get. It's the end of November and its sixty-five degrees outside. Jacob and I were able to sit on the porch without worries. He sat on the top step and I sat between his legs on the second. I leaned back to rest against his chest and closed my eyes. He ran his fingers through my hair with one hand while I held the other in mine. I was pretty tired from being up half the night and it was nice to just relax with him.

The soft caresses he made to my hair calmed me and my mind started to drift from one thing to the next. I was lost in my thoughts as the stillness settled around us. We sat quiet for a few minutes before Jacob, being Jacob, spoiled the mood.

"So, it sounds like everyone was in the mood last night." He gave a wicked laugh to go along with his statement.

I shoved back at him with my shoulder. "Really? You had to go there."

"What? I'm just saying." He tried his innocent act hoping not to get himself in trouble. But then he opened his big mouth again, "A few more minutes and you and Alice could have been swapping stories."

I spun on the step quicker than he expected me to so I could slap that warped head of his. But, just before my hand made contact, he realized my intention and caught my wrist. I went to hit him with the other hand but it was in the wrong position and he was able to catch that one before it got anywhere near his head.

Now that he had both of my hands, he pulled a little until I was facing him on the step. He held my hands to his chest as he stared at me with an intensity that made me melt inside. Jacob moved at a torturously slow speed as he leaned in, his eyes locked with mine the whole way, to kiss me.

I wanted to struggle away from him because of that stupid remark he just made but, right now, my body was in the driver's seat and it had other ideas. I allowed him to deepen the kiss as my hands moved out of his grip to slide up his chest and into the back of his hair. I grabbed as much of his short hair as I could get my hands on and I moaned into his mouth as I felt one of his hands move around my waist as the other slid down to rub my cheek.

I felt him pull away a little, putting enough space between us to speak without taking his lips off mine. "Bella," he whispered my name, "I told you, you want me."

I tightened my fists in his hair and pulled to get his face away from mine. "You really think so?"

The hand on my butt now moved to the back of my neck. He looked deep in my eyes and spoke with conviction, "I know so."

He crashed his mouth to mine again. His warm lips moved with mine while our tongues moved perfectly together and, in seconds, my brain shut off and my body relaxed into his as I fell into the kiss.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for sticking with me through my long delay. Things are moving quicker for me now and I can get back to my normal posting schedule on Sundays.**

**I also want to take the time to let you know about some great stories that have been posted in the last few days that are just awesome.**

**My Other Brother**** & ****Return of the King**** both by A Cullen Wannabe AND ****An Angel in Hell**** by AgoodWITCH**

**These two ladies are awesome writers. If you haven't checked out their stories yet, you really need to do so.**


	13. A Month Can Change Everything

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, musical content, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Thanks so much to my friend and beta Andromida1964. She caught so many of my mistakes and kept me on track this week. You're awesome lady.**

**I hope everyone enjoys the ride this week.**

* * *

**BPOV**

It was the first day of December and the month was already starting off with a bang. I had my first swim meet today after school. I was excited and extremely nervous.

"Bells, your breakfast is ready," Charlie yelled from downstairs.

I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled. Ever since I told Charlie I joined the swim team he's been talking non-stop about my mom's amazing athletic ability in the pool. He kept saying how he knew I would be just like her. He was so excited that, in this one area, I was able to follow in her footsteps.

I put my shoes on and ran down the stairs. I expected the normal bacon and eggs that Charlie was known to cook but I was shocked to find a plate of French toast in my spot on the table. French toast was always my mom's favorite breakfast to serve us on special days. I never knew my dad could make anything other than eggs let alone my mom's favorite breakfast.

"Dad, what's this?" I smiled at his effort.

"It's a special day Bells. It calls for her special breakfast." He shrugged and smiled.

"But I didn't know you knew how to make this."

"I'm not completely helpless in the kitchen, Bells. After all those years with your mother, I picked up a few things." His eyes glazed over a bit, as I'm sure a memory of her crossed his mind. He shook his head and refocused. "Taste it first before you say anything though."

I rolled my eyes at him as I took my first bite. The next eye roll came from the taste of the food. It was perfect and just like my mom used to make, all the way down to the hint of almond that she would use to add flavor. I hurriedly shoved another bite into my mouth before I spoke.

"This is really good dad. It tastes just like mom's recipe." He smiled and relaxed in his chair next to me.

"Thanks Bells. I wanted to make this a good day for you," he said as he started eating his own food.

"Dad, it's just a swim meet. It's a normal day." I hoped I sounded like today was normal. I was terrified but I didn't want it to show.

"You'll see Bells. Today is going to be a great day for you." He winked at me as he went back to his food.

After we finished my dad cleaned up the kitchen so I could finish getting ready for school. Now that I was alone, my anxiety about todays meet was starting to hit me again. I've never competed in anything before and I didn't want to fail.

I was probably the biggest klutz on the planet, on dry land, but in the water I felt like the most graceful person alive. It was a good feeling and not something I was always used to. My coach had actually pointed that out last week when I won a race during practice by a five second margin. She said that if I kept swimming like that then I could take a state title in my first year. She probably thought she was helping but she just made me more self-conscious.

I was in my own little world all day as I thought more about what I was going to face this afternoon. I was in a couple of individual races and part of one relay team. Coach told me before, that I would be fine and not to stress about it but, all day, I felt like I was going to throw up. My friends tried to comfort me by also telling me I would be fine. But honestly, with the way I felt, I was going to punch the next person to use the word fine in my presence.

The day seemed to be moving in fast forward. For every minute that ticked by, it seemed that two minutes were being taken off the clock pulling me closer and closer to the start of the meet. My saving grace came when I walked into my journalism class.

"Miss Swan, can I please speak with you for a minute?" Mr. Collins asked.

I went to his desk and he guided me out the door to speak in private. I've never seen him single anyone out before so I didn't know what to expect.

"Miss Swan, I have been very impressed with your work this semester. I would like you to meet me after school today to discuss some important issues that I would like to bring to your attention."

"Um…Mr. Collins, I have a swim meet after school and I'm supposed to be there by three-fifteen. Is this something we can discuss tomorrow?" I was hesitant to ask the question. For all I knew, if I refused now he wouldn't want to have the conversation later.

"Actually Miss Swan, what I have to say shouldn't take that long. If you come to my room right after school you will make it to your meet in plenty of time." He gave me a rare smile.

"Okay Mr. Collins, I'll be here right after school." I accepted and he led me back into the room.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. I told Jacob about the meeting so he wouldn't be offended if I didn't meet him after my public speaking class. As soon as the final bell sounded, I was out of my chair and heading toward the journalism room. Mr. Collins was sitting at his desk when I walked in reading through a paper someone had handed in. I knocked softly on his door to get his attention.

He looked up and gave me another of those smiles that no one ever sees. "Ah, Miss Swan, right on time. Please have a seat."

I sat down in the nearest chair. I was kind of nervous because this wasn't his normal behavior. He looked at his watch and then the clock on the wall.

"The others should be joining us shortly," he stated as he leaned back in his chair. He was more laid back today than I had seen him all year. It was a strange sight. "Miss Swan, I have to ask, what were your intentions when signing up for this class?"

"Well sir, I have always loved to write and I've been encouraged by both of my parents to do so for a long time now. I signed up for this class so I could see if this type of writing suited me and I could eventually make a career out of it."

"I was hoping you would say that." He smiled again but didn't say anything more.

Within seconds after he finished his sentence, my attention was drawn to the door as a figure entered the room. I was surprised and confused when I saw the man in the doorway. "Dad? What are you doing here?"

"Hey Bells." He nodded to me with a smile and then turned to my teacher. "Mr. Collins, thank you for calling me in for this." My dad shook his hand and took the seat he was offered.

Okay now this was getting weird. I didn't understand what my dad was doing here or what I was doing here for that matter. No one had explained anything to me yet and I didn't know if this was good or bad. By Mr. Collins' behavior, I was taking this as a good thing but I was so confused as to what he would want with me and my dad.

"Okay we're waiting for one more…" he trailed off as another man walked into the room. He looked completely professional wearing a gray suit with a white shirt and blue tie. His appearance, however, didn't do anything to relieve me of the confusion I was feeling.

"David, right on time." Mr. Collins stood up to shake his hand and led him to where my dad and I were sitting. He pulled up another chair just before he introduced us. "Mr. Swan," he motioned to my dad and then to me, "Miss Swan, I would like you both to meet Mr. David Sawyer, news editor for the Denver Post."

My mouth dropped open. I couldn't believe what he just said. I was sitting in front of a newspaper editor who was called in specifically to talk to me. If I weren't stunned into absolute stillness, I would have pulled off the best Alice impression ever while jumping excitedly around the room.

We both shook his outstretched hand just before he sat down. Mr. Collins looked directly at me and told me what was going on.

"Miss Swan, I have been teaching this class for several years now and it is a rarity that a student like you walks through my door. The last was actually four years ago." He grinned before turning to get a folder off of his desk. "You have a great talent, Miss Swan. The evidence is here in your work. Because of this, I took it upon myself to call Mr. Sawyer and fill him in on the exceptional student that I have had the privilege to teach this year." He seemed proud which made me almost want to cry.

I looked over at my dad and he was beaming with a smile spread from ear to ear on his face. He didn't seem as shocked as I was by all of this and then it clicked. He thanked Mr. Collins for calling him "for this" meaning he knew what was coming. Now this morning made a bit more sense as to why he would think this day would be so great. There was no one on this earth who could keep a secret like Charlie Swan and today he proved it.

I choked out a "thank you" as the three men stared at me. I didn't know what else to say because I was still waiting to find out what Mr. Sawyer was here for. Luckily I didn't have to wait long.

"Miss Swan," Mr. Sawyer spoke, "I have read your news stories and I agree with Mr. Collins. You have a great talent and, if you choose to make a career out of it, you will make an exceptional journalist someday. I'm here to see if I can help you with that."

"H-How? How exactly would you help me?" My voice was unsteady as I asked him the question.

"Well, we have several intern positions that we need to fill. We usually hire college students to fill these positions but, after seeing your work, I've decided to make an exception."

"Are you serious? You…would…" It seemed like my hand was moving in slow motion as it moved to cover my mouth as I tried to get the last part of that sentence out. I covered my face with my hands and screamed.

It was impossible to contain my excitement now and, without thinking, I launched myself out of my chair and wrapped my arms around Mr. Sawyer's neck. My mouth seemed like it was on automatic repeat as I said "thank you" over and over again. I moved away from Mr. Sawyer and hugged Mr. Collins next. My actions should have thoroughly embarrassed me but I was too excited to care. I couldn't have dreamed of better news.

Once my brain caught up with my body I pulled away from Mr. Collins and went to hug my dad. He hugged me tight and whispered in my ear, "You deserve this, Bells. You're mom would be so proud of you."

I moved to sit back in my chair while the three of them laughed at me. I was breathing heavy from the excitement and they waited a few minutes while I attempted to control myself.

_Oh my God. Alice and Rose are going to flip when they hear this._

After I pulled myself together we sat and talked about some details of the new position I was going to be taking. There is going to be a lot of work involved but I didn't care. I was ready for this. Since starting journalism I realized that this is what I want to do. It was a concrete decision in my mind from the minute I handed in my first paper.

Now here I was sitting in front of the editor of a newspaper listening to him tell me that he had bent the rules to accept me for an internship. I was resolved to work harder than I ever have before so I can make him and everyone else proud. I wouldn't let them down.

_This is it…real life starts now._

* * *

I was out of breath when I burst through the locker room door. I knew I couldn't be late so I sprinted all the way from Mr. Collins' classroom to get here. I made it with a few minutes to spare.

I didn't have time to stop and talk to anyone, not even Jacob who was waiting for me outside the doors to the pool. I felt bad for only having time to yell my hello as I ran past him but, if I wanted to race today, then I needed to get changed. Thankfully, everything that happened after school today had put me in a great mood, and any anxiety I had felt for this meet was gone now.

I was starting to agree with Charlie. This was going to be a great day. I had my suit on and jumped under the shower to prepare myself to get in the water. With my goggles and cap in hand, I walked through the door, which led to the pool. I was surprised by the mass of people that filled the stands.

There were three schools competing today and each school seemed to have an enormous amount of fans crowding the bleachers. I looked around and spotted Alice, Rosalie, Jasper and Charlie all waving at me and giving me a thumbs-up. I turned my head a couple of times before I saw Jacob, Sam and Paul sitting to the left and up a couple of rows from the others.

I felt my nervousness start to creep up on me again. I smiled and waved in their general direction so they would all see it before I jumped into the pool for my warm up. As soon as I hit water I was able to relax. Outside of this pool I was clumsy and barely able to stand on my own two feet but inside the pool, I believed I could take on the world and win.

The horn blew and all the girls got out of the pool to get ready for their individual races. I still had about fifteen minutes to wait before my first race began. I was near poolside talking with my teammates as the first racers stepped up to the blocks. The hush of the crowd was almost instant as the swimmers got into their positions. The gun sounded and the race was on.

Everyone was cheering, screaming and yelling for either their respective team or their favorite swimmers. A minute later, well one minute and thirty-two seconds later to be exact, the race was over and our two swimmers placed second and fifth in the race. I could tell that I had to really keep my focus because the girls from the other two schools were fast.

The races went on and, in what seemed like the blink of an eye, my race was next. I had my cap on and my goggles in place just above my eyes while I waited for the current race to finish. I was standing behind the blocks and I looked into the crowd to find my friends. I couldn't miss Alice jumping up and down waving at me. I smiled at her enthusiasm as my eyes moved up a little to see Jacob standing in his spot. I was filled with confidence as he used our sign that told me he loved me. I sent it back to him and then refocused on the race.

I was swimming the fifty-meter freestyle first. It was simple, one complete lap to the other end of the pool and back. The race should last no more than thirty seconds. This is usually where you saw your fastest swimmers so I had to be on my game.

I heard the announcer call the race. The referee blew the whistle and we mounted our blocks. As the hush fell over the crowd again, I turned my mind off to everything but the referee's voice.

"Racers take your mark." I had my hands on my knees.

"Get set." I leaned over to touch the block and positioned myself over my leg to get a good push.

BANG

At the sound of the gun, I was off. I got a good jump into the water and swam about fifteen feet before surfacing. My arms quickly found the stroke and I moved as fast as I could with my legs kicking furiously behind me. Seconds later I flipped and pushed off the wall with both feet. I swam ten more feet underwater before I was back on the surface swimming for the finish. I saw no one to my left as I took my breaths, which means nothing really. The rest of the pack could be anywhere. Another couple of seconds and my fingers touched the wall. The race was over.

I popped my head out of the water and looked left…no one. I looked to the right and saw one girl a second before the rest of the swimmers started hitting the wall. I turned as fast as I could to see the times on the result board.

First – lane four: twenty-two point seven seconds

Second – lane six: twenty-two point nine seconds.

Third – lane five: twenty-three point one seconds.

My mind started to work again and I heard the screams of the crowd before I processed the fact that I was racing in lane four. I won the race by a margin of point two seconds. I shook hands with the two girls on either side of me and lifted myself out of the pool.

I got a couple of high fives from my teammates and my coach gave me a hug telling me how she knew I could do it. I heard the shouting from the crowd and I could pick out the three very distinct voices of Jacob, Sam and Paul. A chorus of "way to go, Bella" and "nice race, Bella" was all I heard from them. I waved to all of them and turned to grab my towel and dry off.

The rest of the meet was fun. My second race was the one hundred-meter freestyle. I pushed myself as fast as I could but still only came in third place. The relay was a two hundred meter freestyle with me and the other three girls swimming fifty meters each. I was the anchor on that race swimming last to make sure we could make up and distance we need to if we're behind. I had a good team though and we placed first by almost a whole second.

After everything was over, our team took second place overall. It wasn't a bad finish; we just lost some key races and couldn't make up the points. I walked to the corner to pick up my things and head to the locker room so I could change. I felt two big, warm hands on my hips and my face broke into a wide smile.

The voice in my ear gave me chills. "You were amazing, doll. I never knew you could swim so fast."

I turned but kept my distance because my suit was still wet. "Thanks Jake. I was so nervous but as soon as I stepped up to race, it was gone."

He took a small step to get closer and I tried to hold him back. "No Jake, I'm all wet."

He ignored me and pulled me to his body anyway. He leaned down to whisper in my ear, "Are you really?" He kissed the skin just below my ear. "I'd like to find that out for myself."

_Figures. _

"You have a one track mind did you know that?" The question was rhetorical because we both knew where his thoughts always were.

"Only when it comes to you, doll." He pulled his face back to look at me. He winked and said, "Now, take that fine ass into the locker room to get changed. I'll wait for you here." He kissed me and pushed me toward the locker room.

* * *

"These past few weeks have been amazing. I'm still struggling with the hundred-meter race a little but in the fifty, no one's beat me yet. My coach says that if I can shave another second off my time, I could easily compete for the state title and win. Can you believe it? That would be so awesome. I would be just like you.

Dad was so proud after our meet yesterday. He stood there and told everyone in the restaurant that his daughter was the fastest swimmer in the world. He _is_ embarrassing sometimes. How did you ever handle him?" I couldn't stop my laugh from escaping but it didn't last long.

"Mom, I need to be serious for a minute. I came to talk to you because I have a…problem. You know I've been with Jake for a while now. He's been trying… He wants to… Mom, how do I know if I'm ready? Look at Alice, she's already been with Jasper and they seem to be so much more in love now. Can that happen with me and Jake? I don't want him to leave but I know he doesn't want to wait anymore. Will he love me more, mom, if I do it?" Tears were pooling in my eyes as I confessed my confusion and my deepest thoughts to her.

"Today was our last day of school. Dad's going to the mountains for the weekend...you know, his big hunting trip with Billy and they're taking Rose's dad with them this time. Jake's gonna come over and hang out with me tonight. He's bringing my present with him since I won't see him on Monday for Christmas.

I already know he's gonna try again. That seems to be where we end up every time he comes over. Tonight will be different though. He knows that, this time, dad isn't going to come home. He doesn't have be watching the clock or hoping he doesn't get caught. Tonight it's going to be all up to me.

I wish you could talk to me and give me advice like you used to. I need you so much right now mom. I'm scared. I'm scared of going too far and I'm scared of losing Jake. I don't know what the right thing to do is, mom, and I'm afraid that, if I don't figure it out soon, he's gonna leave me."

I sat quietly for a few minutes while the slight breeze blew across my face and rustled my hair. I shifted my position so I was on my knees in front of her with my eyes closed and my forehead resting on the cool stone.

I whispered my goodbye to her. "Well, I have to go meet Jake now. I love you, mom. Watch over me tonight. I'm gonna need it." I stood up and wiped the tears that were rolling down my cheeks as I placed my hands on her headstone and silently prayed.

_Please God, give me some kind of sign. Help me to know if this is the right step to take with Jacob._

Charlie pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. He went in to put our name down on the waiting list for a table. I decided, since it wasn't too cold yet, I would stay outside where it was quiet to wait for Billy and Jacob to show up. I was sitting on the hood of the car just watching the cars go by. It was a nice quiet moment until Jacob's voice came from behind me interrupting the silence

"Damn check out that Mercedes across the street. That is one nice car."

The smile was on my face as soon as I heard his voice. I hopped off the car and quickly made my way over to him. I threw my arms around his neck and he pulled me close for a heated kiss. Sooner than I would have liked, he pulled away and held his hands on my hips.

"I _am_ going to get one of those someday." He jerked his head in the direction of the car, which made me look to the gas station on the other side of the street.

"It's nice. I love a black car." He knew I didn't know anything about cars so there was really nothing else I could say.

When I turned back to him, he greeted me with a smile. The contrasting white of his teeth against his dark skin gave him a smile that took my breath away. "We're heading to your house when we leave here so they can pack up the truck and head out and I get to stay with you. I have your present in the car." His excitement picked up a bit as he mentioned my present.

"What is it?" My curiosity had me asking the question even though I knew I wouldn't get an answer.

"I'm not telling you. Where's the fun in that? You're gonna have to convince me to give it to you before Christmas though." The devious spark was in his eye and I felt my stomach clench into a tight knot probably killing all of the butterflies that were in there a minute ago.

I tried to play it off and not let him know how nervous his hinted suggestion made me. "That's not fair. I'm not going to see you for Christmas. You're going to see Rachel, remember?"

"Oh right…too bad for you then," he said with a shrug. I smacked his arm as I laughed. "Let's get inside, doll, before they come looking for us."

He turned to take another quick but longing look at the car across the street. I turned with him to look one more time at one of his dream cars. My heart stopped as I saw the boy on the other side of the car. The look only lasted a fraction of a second as he ducked into the opened door, but it was enough.

_It can't be._

* * *

I was agitated all through dinner. I just couldn't believe I saw what, or should I say who, I thought I saw. My mind had to be playing tricks on me. On the way home, I couldn't sit still. As we pulled into the driveway I grabbed my cell phone and sent a message to my one voice of reason.

**Wanna hear something crazy…B**

**What's up…Rose**

**I just saw Edward…B**

**Honey he's not here. U have 2 let him go…Rose**

I knew what she would say. That's why I sent Rosalie the message instead of Alice. Alice would have gotten overly excited but Rosalie could be more rational about things.

**But he was really there this time. Not just my imagination…B**

**Call me NOW…Rose**

I could tell I was in trouble. I didn't want to call her but I knew I had to. I also knew Billy and Jacob weren't that far behind us so I had to make this quick. I ran past Charlie telling him that I had to make a call and I would be right back down. I closed my bedroom door, kicked off my shoes and threw myself on the bed just as she answered.

She didn't even wait for me to say hello before she started talking. "Bella, listen to me. I know that you've had some crazy fantasy thing going on with Edward since you saw him."

"But Rose…" She cut me off.

"No Bella, just listen. He's not here now and he's not going to be here in the future. You _have _to let him go. You have Jake now. He's the one you've wanted for the last year. Sure he has faults but who doesn't? He doesn't deserve to have you thinking about someone else while you're with him. That's like cheating Bella. You may not want to think so, but it is."

That hit me pretty hard. I didn't really think of it as cheating. "You're right, Rose." I paused to think of the course that my…no…_our_ night was going to take. "I need to give Jake my whole heart and just put Edward out of my head for good. Jake does deserve that. I better go. They're all downstairs waiting for me."

"Is Jake still staying with you after your dad leaves?" Her voice was almost compassionate now.

"Yeah, we've got movies to watch." I told her.

"Yeah right." Now it was her turn to pause. "Just be careful, Bella. Remember if you need me tonight call me. Otherwise go and have some fun." I knew the smirk was on her face as she said the last sentence.

I closed the phone and took a deep breath.

_I can do this. I'm ready._

I got off my bed and headed for the door. My heart started beating faster and I felt a tear fall from my eye as I gripped the doorknob. I rested my forehead against the door, closed my eyes, exhaled and said the two words that let him go.

"Goodbye Edward."

* * *

Charlie and Billy were just about to leave when they felt the need to lay down some ground rules for us to follow while they were gone. The two of them were happy that we were together but they were also very worried to be leaving us with no supervision over the weekend.

"Jake, you know I like you and I trust you but this is my little girl. I expect you to treat her with nothing but respect this weekend. You also need to follow the rules of the house. When I'm not here, you cannot be here after nine o'clock. Is that understood?" Charlie was using his most authoritative cop voice. He wanted Jacob to know he meant business.

"Of course, Charlie." Jacob innocently agreed.

"We will be checking up on you two. I expect you to behave just as you would if we were just down the street at our house," Billy added his warning to the conversation.

"We will," we both answered in unison. I giggled because they were seriously making me feel like I was a five year old again.

"Okay then, we'll be back Sunday night. You two _better_ behave yourselves," Charlie warned.

We cracked up laughing as he took his hand and pointed two fingers at his eyes and then swung it around to point at us with those same two fingers. He did this three times and I knew it meant that he was watching us. I looked at Jacob who was the picture of calm sitting on the couch next to me. He wasn't worried one bit.

The door closed and we glanced at each other and laughed again. As our laughter died down he gave me that intense stare that meant he wanted more than to just sit on this couch with me. The butterflies assaulted my stomach as the realization hit me that we were truly alone. He reached out to grab my hand but I wasn't ready for it yet.

I stood up quickly. "So what movie do you want to watch first?" I asked while trying to hide the feeling of panic that rushed over me.

"Not so fast." His hands moved faster than I could and he grabbed my waist to pull me back to his lap. "You're not getting away that easily." He moved before I could catch my breath and captured my lips with a hungry kiss. He was anxious.

Before I let myself get carried away, I put my hand on his chest and pushed away from him. "Jake, slow down. We have all weekend. Besides, I would like to give them a good hour to get farther away. I could see Charlie now peeking in through the window ready to catch us doing something we shouldn't." Yeah that is something the cop side of Charlie would do.

"Relax doll, we'll be fine." He tried to reassure me but I was too nervous for it to have any affect. He tried to move in to kiss me again but I had to stop him.

"One hour…please?" My begging voice made it a question. I think he saw the panic in my eyes because his expression changed to sympathetic in seconds.

"Alright I can wait," he said with a little smile.

I leaned forward to kiss him quickly. "See that's why I love you," I replied as I jumped off his lap. He laughed at me as I moved to the tv to put a movie into the dvd player. I decided to pick a comedy to stay as far away from romance as I could get. That will come later.

Jacob shifted his position so he was leaning into the corner of the couch. He had one arm over the back of the couch and the other was resting in his lap. I started the movie and went to sit next to him. I sat down across the couch and leaned my back into him. He draped his arm over me and rested his hand on my stomach and the hand that was in his lap moved to the arm of the couch in his attempt to be good. I was finally able to relax and just be with him.

I could swear he was watching the clock and counting down the seconds because almost exactly one hour after our parents left he began stroking my hair. It felt really good and I curled into him a little closer than I was. He felt that and obviously took it as good sign as his other hand started to move in small circles on my stomach.

My breathing picked up its pace. I was nervous and kind of anxious at the same time. I had loved Jacob for a long time. We were just taking our relationship to that next level.

I felt the kiss he placed on my hair and I closed my eyes. He wasn't trying to rush anything and for that I was thankful. He pushed my hair to the side and started stoking my neck ever so softly with his fingertips. The goose bumps appeared over my entire body after his first pass.

I leaned my head back a little and his lips brushed my forehead. That sweet kiss sent a shiver through my body to join the goose bumps that hadn't gone away yet. The second sweep of his hand on my neck started the tingling feeling between my legs that happened so often now when we were together.

Almost as if he knew how my body was reacting, his other hand started to move on my side tracing the length of my ribs. My breaths became heavier as the rush of sensations hit me under the strokes of his hands. He was moving so slow and I knew the difference came from the fact that we knew we could take our time. This is how a first time should be.

I scooted closer to him and leaned my head back a little farther. As soon as I was within the reach of his lips, they were pressed to mine. His kiss was gentle and sweet and I felt his hand move to the back of my head to hold me to him. His other hand grasped my hip as he took his time to kiss me.

The hand on my waist pulled a little and I knew what he wanted. So I pushed my feet into the couch to move myself into his lap. The move was effortless and our lips stayed locked together until I was where he wanted me. I could feel him beneath me and I knew he was ready and, if his hand were to travel down and touch me, he would know I was ready too.

He let my head down gently so it was lying on the arm of the couch and he began stroking my hair again. His other hand left my hip to cup my cheek as he broke our kiss to look at me. His eyes were intense as he looked at me and his words came out in a whisper, "You're so beautiful, Bella."

That one sentence sent my body into overdrive. I could feel the rush of wetness pooling between my legs now. I reached up to the back of his head and pulled him in to kiss me. This time the urgency in our kiss couldn't be contained. I wanted him so much in that moment.

His hand went back down to my waist and he squeezed it a little. Then it started to make its way back up my body. Only, this time, it moved under my shirt instead of over it. A small gasp escaped my lips as I felt his fingertips brush my skin. My body tensed slightly as his hand made its way up to my chest. He cupped his hand over my breast and lightly squeezed.

My body jerked at the feeling and our lips separated. I couldn't hold back the huge gasp that he caused me to make. My breathing was so heavy that I thought I was going to pass out any minute.

Before I could claim his lips again, Jacob spoke in the sexiest voice I had ever heard, "Bella, can I take your shirt off?" He brought his lips to my neck to give me one small kiss.

"Yes," I answered almost inaudibly.

He sat me up and used both of his hands to push my shirt up and over my head. He tossed the shirt to the floor and brought one hand down to my back and the other landed on my chest. His hand went back to massaging my breast when I felt his other hand trying to unhook my bra in back.

"Jake wait," I said trying to stop him. I felt a little too exposed sitting in the living room without my shirt on. I wouldn't be comfortable unless we had more privacy.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just don't feel right doing this here." The thought of someone looking through the window to see us had me panicking again.

He gave me the smile that melted all of my defenses. "Can we go to your room?"

I didn't answer. I just lifted myself off of him and stood up. I reached out my hand for his and held it as I walked him toward my room. Once we were there, I closed the door behind us. I know I didn't need to since there wasn't anyone else in the house but it felt more private that way.

He led me to my bed and stopped to kiss me softly. He pulled away and looked me in the eye. I felt his hands on my back. "May I?" he asked my permission before he moved to undo my bra.

I took a deep breath and nodded my head. I didn't have the ability to speak at the moment. I flinched as I felt the two sides separate and Jacob pulled the straps off my shoulders.

"Mmm Bella."

His husky voice did unexplainable things to my body. He leaned down to lock his lips with mine and then did something completely unexpected. He reached down and scooped me up into his arms. He held me to his body for a second before he broke the kiss and gently placed me on the bed. He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor before lying down next to me.

His eyes scanned my half naked body and I had to fight the urge to cover myself. I felt so self-conscious and completely exposed. My arms began to move and he stopped them before they could get too far.

"Don't. You're beautiful."

With that last statement, he crashed his lips to mine. My need for him grew and I pulled his body down so he was partially on top of me. His hand was back on my left breast as he rubbed and squeezed it gently. This was all so much for me to take and the ache between my legs was becoming unbearable.

His lips moved to my jaw and then my neck as he left a trail of soft kisses down my chest before I felt his mouth close around my nipple. Another loud gasp escaped me as my body jerked up and pushed closer to him. A quick flick of his tongue shot tingles straight to the center of my body and caused my legs to snap shut.

The ache was almost painful and my legs began to rub together to relieve some of the tension. Jacob noticed my movement and his hand moved down and lightly pushed my legs apart. In one movement, he moved his mouth to my right nipple as his hand moved between my legs.

"Oh God Jake," I moaned as I grabbed a handful of his hair in an attempt to bring him closer.

He was rubbing and pressing his fingers into my center and I was practically hyperventilating from the pleasure this was giving me. I wanted more and he seemed to know just what I needed.

He moved up and claimed my lips again in a heated kiss as I pushed my hips up to increase the pressure of his fingers. He rubbed me harder and I broke our kiss so I could catch my breath.

"Bella," he spoke my name through his own ragged breaths. He didn't need to finish. I knew what he wanted…what we both wanted.

"Yes Jake." I could barely control my breathing enough to speak.

Jacob pulled his hand away and I whimpered at the loss of his touch. He moved to undo the button of my jeans and pull down the zipper. His mouth was back on my neck as his hand was pushing my jeans down my hips. I lifted a little so he could move them down farther. He left my panties in place as he took things one-step at a time. I lifted my legs so he could take my pants completely off. In his excitement, he threw my pants across the room and I heard something fall to the floor. We both laughed a bit before he kissed me again.

His fingers began to trail their way up the inside of my thigh and the growing anticipation was almost too much to take. Finally his hand made its way back between my legs. He cupped his hand around me and began to push into me again.

The sensation was so much more intense now that my jeans were out of the way. Now all I wanted was to feel him without any barriers. He rubbed his fingers back and forth over the fabric a few times and I could feel the tightening in my stomach as he pushed me so close to my breaking point.

He pulled his hand away again and my hips involuntarily pushed up to find it. He placed his hand on my stomach and his lips moved to my ear. He was breathing heavily causing my body to shiver again.

"Bella," he whispered into my ear, "do you love me?"

"Yes."

"Tell me you love me," he demanded in a husky tone and I would do anything he asked of me.

"I love you Jacob."

His lips captured mine again as his hand moved underneath my panties. His fingers cupped my wet center and I had to break our kiss again to breathe. He moved his hand back and forth over the top of me not in any hurry to move inside where I wanted him to go.

"No," I groaned as his hand stopped its movement and we both focused our attention on the phone ringing from the pocket of my jeans. I knew without having to look that it was Charlie.

"Let it ring," Jacob groaned as his forehead pressed to mine.

"I can't. You know its Charlie."

"I know. Damn it." He sighed in resignation and pulled his hand away from me.

I got up and almost fell to the ground. My legs were shaking so much they weren't able to hold me up. I steadied myself and took a deep breath as I went to find my phone. I pulled it out of my pocket and went to answer but I wasn't fast enough.

"Shit." I said to myself. I had to call him back.

I hit the button to make the call and he answered on the first ring. "Bells, are you okay?"

"I'm fine dad. I was just in the bathroom and didn't get to my phone in time." I crossed my free arm over my bare chest. I was completely embarrassed. Being so exposed to Jacob was one thing but being almost naked in front of Jacob while talking to my dad on the phone was mortifying.

"It's after nine. Did Jacob make it home okay?" He was fishing for an answer. I'm guessing that Billy already called their house to check.

My hesitation made the room extremely quiet and, just my luck, Jacob's ringing phone made its way to Charlie's ear.

_You've got to be kidding me._

"Bella?" I heard the irritation in his voice. I hung my head because I knew we were caught. Jacob answered his own phone and I could hear Billy's muffled voice in the background.

"Sorry dad. We just…" He cut me off.

"Don't even try to make an excuse Bella. I told you the rules when I left and Jacob _is not_ supposed to be in that house right now." He was yelling and I could picture the vein in his forehead popping out as his face turned red.

"I know dad. I'm sorry." I felt so bad for breaking his rules and I knew I was going to be in a massive amount of trouble when he got home. Jacob was in the same boat I was by the angry tone of Billy's voice.

"He leaves _now_, Bella and don't even think you're going to see him again for the rest of the weekend."

"Yes dad." I wasn't even going to push him on this no matter how much it hurt me to accept it. He was mad enough already. The phone went silent and I realized he was so angry that he didn't even bother to say goodbye before he hung up on me.

"Okay I'm going." I heard Jacob say behind me. He closed his phone as he ended his call with Billy. "I have to go." He was as upset as I was.

"I know." I said as I started to cry.

I got up and walked to my closet to grab my robe off its hook. Jacob was right behind me and as soon as my robe was on he spun me around and wrapped me tightly in his arms. I continued to cry and my tears dripped onto his bare chest. He stroked my hair and kissed my forehead.

"I'm sorry I got you into trouble Bella," he apologized.

"It's not your fault."

"Bella, if I didn't push for this then neither one of us would be in trouble now."

"Jake you didn't push. I wanted this as much as you did." I wanted him to know that this was _my _choice and he wasn't forcing me into anything.

"Well, I'm still sorry that Charlie is so mad at you. They were both pretty pissed. I don't know what's going to happen when they get back but I know it's not going to be good." Jacob said. He leaned down to look me directly in the eye. "You love me right?"

"Yes Jake, I love you."

"Then we _will_ get past this…no matter what our punishment is." He sounded so sure of himself. "Now, I have to go. My dad gave me fifteen minutes to get home and, if I'm not there to answer the phone, they're heading back here tonight."

"Okay then you better run the whole way." I told him. I know it's only two blocks but I wanted to make sure he made it in plenty of time.

He went back to the bed and grabbed his shirt off the floor. He grabbed my hand and we walked downstairs. He put his jacket on and paused at the front door pulling me again into another tight hug. I wrapped my arms around him wishing he didn't have to leave.

He kissed me one last time before letting me go. He pulled the door opened and turned back to me. "Make sure you lock this door behind me. I don't know when they'll let me see you again but I will try to make it soon."

"Okay Jake." I almost started to cry again as he stepped onto the porch.

"Oh wait, I almost forgot." He pulled a small box out of the pocket of his jacket. "Merry Christmas, beautiful."

I opened the box to find a silver chain with a heart-shaped pendant hanging from it. It was so delicate that I was afraid I would break it. "It's beautiful Jake. Will you put it on for me?"

He took a step closer and grabbed the chain out of the box. He reached behind my neck and clasped it together. I reached up to touch it before I leaned up to give him one more quick kiss.

"Thank you. I'll never take it off."

He smiled and leaned in to kiss my forehead and walked out, pulling the door closed behind him.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading and taking this wild ride with me and Bella. I really hope you liked it.**

**You can follow me on twitter using the name mizzdee_FF for teasers during the week. **

**Next Sunday, Edward graces us with his presence. Until then...happy reading.**


	14. There's A New Family In Town

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, musical content, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Sorry for the late update this week. I lost power to my computer causing me to lose my chapter. I had to rewrite most of it. I also would like to thank my wonderful beta andromida1964 for being so supportive and talking me through things. You're the best lady.**

**And now, please, welcome the Cullen family to town.**

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* * *

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**EPOV**

I was only three days into the longest month of my life and frustrated couldn't even begin to describe my frame of mind right now. Since dad's announcement on Thursday, each tick of the clock had moved at a torturously slow pace. It was a good thing I had the weekend to wrap my mind around our move before having to go back to school. I couldn't seem to concentrate on anything except finally seeing Bella again. I had thought about her so much in the last couple of months but now the reality of being able to be near her again hit me hard. My world and hers were going to collide and I needed to be ready for it.

Our weekend was a busy one. My mom was the master of all things domestic but even she needed help getting everything together that my dad would need for his permanent move to Colorado. While he took care of packing up the final few boxes in his office at the hospital, Emmett and I were working around the clock with mom to make sure everything he was going to need from home was packed and ready to go.

Dad was getting on a plane today and, as much as he hated it, he wasn't going to come back here. He was leaving us here to box up our old life while he took the steps to begin our new one. The first step was to find a house for us to live in. I hoped he found something soon so we didn't have to wait any longer than necessary.

All of dad's things were packed and ready to go. Emmett and I took a break before we had to leave and were practicing our shots in the goal that we had set up in the backyard. Dad called us inside to sit down and have a talk before he left. We walked into his study and sat in the empty chairs in front of his desk.

"Boys, I trust you know how hard this next month is going to be on your mother. I want to leave here knowing that I can count on the two of you to do whatever it takes to make this as easy a transition for her as possible." His eyes were moving back and forth between us and he was wringing his hands in front of him.

I don't think my parents had been apart for longer than a week at any time in their lives together. Even though he tried to hide it, I could see that dad was just as anxious as mom about being separated. They had the kind of love and marriage that only existed in the movies. It was that perfect give and take that other couples never seem to find. It was something that I knew both Emmett and I wanted to find someday.

"We got this, dad. You don't have anything to worry about," Emmett answered.

He nodded in Emmett's direction and then looked at me.

"Of course, dad. We'll be packed and ready to go in no time. Mom will be fine," I assured him.

"Thanks boys. You may not realize how hard this will be for me as well. This is an exciting time for me but, being without the three of you for an entire month…well let's just say that I'm not looking forward to that at all," he confessed.

It was strange hearing this come from him. He never really vocalized his feelings unless it was with mom. He had told us he loved us countless times but this was somehow different than that. This was also showing us some of his fear and doubt. I was happy that he felt he could show us this part of himself.

I tried to put his mind at ease. "Dad, its thirty days. There's nothing to worry about. Besides we all have our cell phones and we can chat over the internet. We could talk so much that it would hardly seem like you're gone." I smiled at the awkwardness of having to reassure him for once.

"Yeah," Emmett chimed in. "December will be over before you know it and the three of us will be getting off the plane permanently ending your short life as a bachelor."

"Being without my family, even for thirty days, is going to be tough. But Emmett, I'll try to enjoy the bachelor life and the piece and quiet I'll have without any kids around," he chuckled. "Thanks for putting my mind at ease, boys. Now get upstairs and get ready. We have to leave for the airport in twenty minutes."

An hour and a half later we were standing in front of the security checkpoint watching my parents share a tearful goodbye. It was painfully obvious that my dad was holding on to his emotions by the smallest thread imaginable while trying to keep my mom from falling apart all together. Their love for each other reached new heights in my eyes as I watched them lock themselves in a tight embrace like this was the last time they were ever going to see each other. I could only hope for a love like theirs someday. When I did find someone, if our love was even a tenth of the love my parents felt for each other, I would live life as the happiest man in the world.

My mom always called me a hopeless romantic. I was only fifteen and I didn't know anything about romance and love except for what I learned from them. Seeing them now and realizing that I wanted that kind of love in my life, I kind of understood where my mom was coming from.

I was taken by surprise as I stood there watching the scene in front of me play out but with different characters this time. I was standing there wrapped in the arms of my brown-haired beauty. Bella was holding on to me so tight while I had my face buried in her hair. She whispered over and over again that she didn't want me to go. I told her through my own tears that I didn't want to leave her. This was the way I wanted to hold her when I saw her again. I would wrap my arms around her waist and hold her body next to mine in such way that she would know, without words, that I would always be with her.

I exhaled and turned to walk in the opposite direction. "I'll be right back," I informed Emmett before I left to go find the bathroom.

My feelings had completely overwhelmed me. I knew nothing about this girl except that she was the most beautiful person I had the privilege of laying my eyes on. Her touch, in just the couple of short embraces I was lucky enough to share with her, set my body on fire and had me craving it ever since. The pull to her was coming from somewhere deep within me and I couldn't even begin to explain it.

I found the bathroom and walked to the sink to splash some water on my face. I had to get a hold of myself. If I didn't I wasn't going to survive the month without going crazy. I cupped my hands, filled them with cold water and brought them to my face. I just needed to regain control. I gripped the sides of the sink and looked up to stare at myself in the mirror. I could see the desperation in my face. I began to have a one-sided conversation with the man in the mirror.

"Get yourself together, Edward. You're a fucking man…act like it," I chastised myself.

"You don't know Bella and she doesn't know you. If you don't hold yourself together, when you see her again, she's gonna think you're insane. Oh right…and talking to your own reflection is the picture of mental health. Great…now you're answering yourself too. What the fuck is wrong with you? This girl has you so messed up that you can't even think straight."

I started pacing but, after a few trips back and forth across the bathroom floor, I ended up back in front of the mirror again.

"Look, settle yourself down and think about what you want to happen when you get there. You can't just go running up to her the first time you see her again and profess all these feelings for her when she probably doesn't even remember you exist. You'll lose your chance for sure by doing something that stupid. Think…plan…execute. It works for you on the field maybe it will work for off of it too."

Now that all those thoughts were out of my head, I felt better. I left the bathroom to rejoin my family. Mom was still holding on but dad had to go. He looked to us for help and we moved closer to them. Emmett and I had a hand on each of my mom's shoulders and urged her to let go. She stepped back and wrapped her arms around Emmett and he gave her the comfort she needed. The three of us watched dad pass through security and, with one last wave, he was gone.

He was headed to the one place I wanted to be. I had a month to wait and I hoped I could do it patiently. I would use the time to plan every step I would take when I finally had my chance with Bella again.

* * *

My day started at four o'clock in the morning and I had spent the last thirteen hours either in an airport or on a plane. As excited as I was to finally be here, I was equally irritated at the length of time it took to make the trip and the last thing in the world I wanted right now was an hour-long car ride.

What made it all worse was the fact that we were stuck staying in a hotel for the next few days. My parents were closing on our new house on Tuesday so we weren't able to move in until next week. The moving truck would be here Sunday afternoon but they were going to have to park it until the house was officially ours.

It was a long day and I was ready to be in bed. I just wanted to sleep. I had my plan to see Bella all worked out but it was going to have to wait until tomorrow. I was just too tired right now to think straight.

While I was going over my plans for the hundredth time, I felt the car pull to a stop. Dad told mom that he wanted to stop and get some gas so he didn't have to do it later. She mumbled something back to him but I wasn't paying enough attention to hear. I was sitting with my eyes closed listening to my Ipod when I heard him call me.

"Edward, will you please run in and get a bottle of water for your mom while I get the gas?"

"Sure dad," I answered taking the money he passed to me over the seat.

I sluggishly got out of the car and made my way into the store. I scanned the bottles so I could pick the one my mom liked and I went to pay the clerk. There were a few people ahead of me in line. While I waited, I looked out the window. My eyes scanned the street and made their way across it to see a girl sitting on the hood of a car.

It was her…the brown-haired beauty that occupied my dreams for months. Suddenly the line couldn't move fast enough. Forget the fucking plan, I wanted to run across the street, pull her into my arms and breathe in the smell of strawberries that I had been holding on to like a lifeline.

I turned to pay for the water and left the store as fast as my feet would carry me. I stepped outside and looked across the street to find her again. My body froze and my heart shattered as I saw my dream girl in the arms of someone else.

_I'm too late._

My body was instantly numb. I felt the water bottle slip from my fingers. I lowered my head and watched it fall and hit the ground but I couldn't move to stop it. I had been holding on to the hope that I could have her when I got here. But I was too fucking late.

Why did we have to wait that extra month? Would it have made a difference if I showed up after Thanksgiving? Would I have had a chance? I wondered over and over again through these last few months if I had any affect on her or if she thought about me like I did her. I guess I had my answer. I was nothing to her. The proof was right there in front of me. I should have known that first day when she kept running away from me that whatever it was that I felt for her was completely one-sided.

I reached down to get the water bottle and pretended to tie my shoe while I was on one knee. I didn't realize how heavy my breathing was but I had to get it under control before I got back to the car. My mom would worry if she heard me now. She would try to comfort me and make me feel better but really the only person who could do that was across the street holding someone else.

_**Come on Edward. Get your shit together. Be a fucking man.**_

I stood up and made my way back to the car watching Bella the whole way. I couldn't make myself look away. I moved a thousand miles to be near her and now she was a hundred feet away and my masochistic mind tormented me by not allowing me the strength to take my eyes off of her…and her boyfriend.

"Get in the car, son. Let's get to the hotel so the three of you can get some rest," dad said as he patted me on the back on his way back to his side of the car.

He slid in while I stood motionless. I watched as she laughed and playfully hit his arm. At least she looked happy. It was better than the first time I saw her. Her smile was beautiful. I could see that even from this distance.

"Edward…honey, we have to go," mom spoke as she rolled down her window.

I needed to get out of here and away from her. I grabbed the handle, took a step back and opened the door. My body wouldn't cooperate with my desire to get away. The pain of seeing them together was taking over every inch of me. I wanted to leave but I was so drawn to her that I couldn't force myself to move.

Then, as if they heard my thoughts and wanted to torture me further, he looked at me and smiled as she turned her head with a smile of her own. That look alone jolted me back into reality. I didn't want to get caught staring so I jumped in the car and slammed the door.

"Edward…the water?" dad questioned.

"Oh…um sorry mom. Here." I handed her the bottle I was still holding.

I chanced one glance out the window and I saw my beautiful dream girl being led away from me with her arm around another man. I felt my face fall as I turned away to look out my window.

The shove against my arm surprised me. "Dude, what the hell?" Emmett whispered to me with a confused look on his face.

My mouth opened and closed in an effort to tell him what happened but no words came out. The searing pain in my chest felt like someone stabbed me with a sword that had just been pulled out of a fire. The force of it left me speechless and unable to breathe. I grabbed my Ipod off the seat and shoved the headphones to my ears without ever saying a word. I leaned my head against the door and closed my eyes. My chest constricted as I suppressed the tears and sobs trying to break free.

_**Be a fucking man, Edward. Quit this shit. Deal with it and let the girl be happy.**_

Happiness was all I wanted for her. I just wished it could have been with me. My heartbeat increased to three times its normal pace as my mind forced me to say the words that brought my fantasy crashing down around me.

_Goodbye Bella. Be happy._

_

* * *

_

I had to get my focus back. I had told myself numerous times over the last month to be a man about all of this and that's what I was going to do. I'd spent too long thinking of nothing but Bella. I had to clear my mind and there was only one way to do it.

I found a local elementary school that had a soccer goal set up on their field and I spent the weekend alone taking my frustrations out on the ball. It was cold and there was a light snow falling but I didn't care about the fucking weather. I didn't want to be anywhere near people right now. Where better to find solitude than in the middle of a soccer field in forty-degree weather.

I was more myself on the field. I didn't have to think about what I was doing. My actions were automatic after so many years that I could do this in my sleep. The only drawback was that my mind was free to think of other things while I played. My thoughts were stuck on Friday night.

When I saw them together I knew he looked familiar but I couldn't place him. It wasn't until I kicked the first ball that I realized who it was. It was the goalie. I never got to speak to him personally but I remembered his face. It may have been childish but it was giving me great pleasure to picture his face right where my foot made contact with the ball.

While I took my shots, I put the whole situation together. The day I met her she was upset over _him_. I remembered she looked happy before the game started. I don't know how but something must have happened during the game to upset her. It had to be something he did because girls don't cry like that over anything other than boys. The fact that he hurt her so much that day had me hating him and I didn't even know anything about him.

I promised myself then that I would talk to Jasper and find out everything I needed to know about that son of a bitch who hurt her. Sure they looked happy now but if he hurt her like that once, he could do it again. This time I would be there for her and I wouldn't leave her. I may not be able to have her now but, if I bide my time, I may get a shot. Until then I have to live my life as I would have if I had never met Bella.

* * *

I looked at mom's face on Monday and she was so happy. The big reason we came early was because she didn't want to spend Christmas away from dad. They had never spent that day apart and they weren't about to start now. We had a quiet but nice Christmas. There wasn't a tree of course because we were still in the hotel but it wasn't necessary. As long as we were together that was all that mattered. We went out to dinner at one of the only restaurants open on Christmas day. It was great to spend time as a family again after the long time spent away from dad.

Emmett pushed me out of bed Tuesday morning so we could go work out. Mom and dad were already gone and we wanted to get back before they got here. We were anxious to see and move into our new house.

I worked out hard still trying to get my frustrations out. I knew it was going to take me awhile but I would do it. After finishing with the weights, we both moved to the treadmill for a two mile run.

I couldn't figure out why Emmett always waited until we hit the treadmill to start with the serious talks. Maybe he figured I didn't have a weight in my hand to throw at him if he waited.

"Alright Edward, are you going to tell me what's going on with you?" he asked as soon as I jumped on the machine.

"There's nothing to tell Em." This was just like the conversation we had in the hotel gym three and a half months ago. The only difference was this time the conversation was about Bella instead of Jane.

"I saw her you know." He turned his head to me but I kept my focus straight ahead.

"Who?" I tried to play innocent but the crack in my voice gave me away.

"_Do not_ fucking play dumb with me. I know you better than you think I do." He started to count on his fingers. "One…you broke up with Jane almost as soon as we got back. Two…you've been completely distracted for months. Three…you keep your favorite shirt folded up in your school bag and I know the last day you wore it. Four…you looked like someone ripped your heart out on Friday. And five…I watched you beat the hell out of that soccer ball this entire weekend. Don't think I don't know this has everything to do with the girl you met when we came here in September." His questioning voice was hard.

"If you saw her then you know she has a boyfriend now. So it doesn't matter anymore Em." I needed to let her go and talking about it wasn't helping.

"If you want her, then go after her. Don't make yourself miserable in your quest to be noble. Look at me, blondie has boyfriend but you don't see me getting down on myself. I _will_ be with that girl." His confidence was amazing. I may look like I have as much confidence as he does but I don't. I've always felt very insecure next to him. Everything in Emmett's world always went the way he wanted. It just wasn't the same for me. It always seemed like I had to work harder for things to go my way.

"You would seriously break them up just because you want to be with her?" I didn't think he would ever do something like that. Mom would kill him if she found out.

"I won't have to. I'm just gonna make sure she wants to be with me and she'll break it off on her own." He shrugged at me. "You could do the same with your girl." He reached over and punched me in the arm.

I stopped the machine and turned to look at him. I couldn't believe he would seriously consider treating any girl like that. Mom had always taught us to respect a woman and her choices. I wanted Bella, there was no question about that, but she made her choice. I had to respect that no matter how much it was hurting me to do it. I wasn't going to influence her decision in any way. I would be waiting, hoping and praying that she would change her mind.

"Emmett, that's not right and you know it. What would mom say if she heard you talk…" He cut me off before I could bring up her disappointment.

"It's nothing that mom needs to know about. I'm not going to do anything bad. I'm just gonna make sure she knows I'm available and waiting for her." He eyed me with a devious expression. "From what I heard about the guy she's dating, who wouldn't want me instead?"

"You are amazing." I was astonished at his cavalier attitude.

"I know," he agreed.

"I didn't mean that as a compliment. " I was frustrated with him. "Em, leave her alone and let her make her own choice." I had to make him see that it would be wrong to interfere. "These two girls are at a serious disadvantage here. We've spent months thinking about them because we knew it was a very good possibility that we would be back here. They didn't have that option. They had to live their lives knowing nothing about us. We can't just come in and disrupt their lives just because we've had this thing for them all this time. Its not fair to them." From the look on his face I knew he lost interest in what I was saying.

"Whatever Edward. I want that girl. You do what you want with your girl but I've told you more than once, blondie is mine."

"Forget it." I walked away completely irritated leaving him to finish his run alone. There was nothing I could do to change his mind and part of me didn't want to. On my way back to the room I was having a serious battle with my conscience.

_**What the fuck Edward? If Emmett could do it, so could you!**_

_I can't go against everything mom has told me and take Bella away from him? It wouldn't be right._

_**Why the fuck not! You want her…take her.**_

_But it's wrong. She wants him. She's not thinking about me._

_**So…do it anyway. For one time in your life, try to be like Emmett. You could be happy.**_

_Or she could hate me for breaking them up._

That last thought was enough to stop the debate. I would wait. There was nothing in this world that would make me do anything that could cause her to hate me. If I waited I had a chance.

* * *

Dad pulled the car to a stop in front of a large, two-story white house at the end of a dead end street. I could tell that he and mom were thinking of Emmett and me when they chose this house because, just to the right where the fence stopped, the yard gave way to a big park. It would be perfect for us so we could practice without the worry of breaking any windows.

A smile formed on my lips as I looked at Emmett who was fidgeting like a five year old. As soon as dad shut the car off, Emmett and mom burst from their doors and took off running for the front door.

"At least one of you knows how to act your age." Dad laughed at their exuberance but I could see his pride at making them so happy. We both exited the car at the same time but didn't move right away. He hollered at them, "You two realize that you can't get in without me, right?"

"Well, hurry the hell up then," Emmett yelled trying to make us move faster.

We looked at each other and laughed when we saw mom smack him for saying the word "hell". We walked around the car and very casually made our way up the sidewalk in an effort to prolong his agony. Dad stepped to the door, turned the key and pushed it open to reveal our new home. Knowing my dad and his romantic gestures, we waited and watched as he scooped my mom up into his arms.

"Welcome home my love," he said as he gently kissed her. He carried her over the threshold like they were just married and held her for another kiss before putting her down.

As soon as her feet touched the floor, Emmett charged into the house and ran straight upstairs to see the bedrooms. He was, no doubt, trying to beat me to the biggest room. I could care less which room I got so I decided to check out everything on this floor first.

The house was bigger than our old one. There were dark hardwood floors in every room, which made my footsteps echo through the house. As I walked into the living room I smiled a bit as I thought of my mom's excitement when she was able to begin her work on the blank canvas provided by the white walls. She was an amazing interior designer and always conjured up the most unique looks for a room.

I moved into the huge kitchen and noticed that every appliance in the room looked brand new. It was yet another perk my mom would love. The dining room was next to the kitchen and the two rooms were separated by an extension of the counter. The dining room had a sliding glass door that led to the backyard so I went to check it out.

It was cold and there was still a layer of snow on the ground but I didn't care. I took a deep breath filling my lungs with the fresh air. That was definitely the best change from California…the air just smelled clean and didn't seem as heavy as it was back home. I had read about the issues the high altitude would cause and it's a good thing we came now and had time to get used to it.

"Ha…I beat you. I got dibs on the big room." Emmett's voice disrupted the silence I was enjoying.

I answered without turning around. "You know I don't care right."

"Whatever. This house is awesome, don't you think?" he asked.

"It's nice. I like the park next to us. Its perfect."

"Yeah it is. Anyway, dad sent me to come and get you. The movers just got here and it's time to unload." He went back into the house without waiting for me to respond.

I stood a few more seconds in the silence before turning around. I glanced up at the back of the house and then over to the neighbor's house. There was a girl in the window. She turned around as soon as my head moved in her direction and I saw the long brown hair just as she walked away.

_No…it couldn't be possible. There's no way I could be that lucky._

I walked through the doors and made my way to the front of the house. We all worked hard for the next four hours to unload the truck. Mom had directed traffic when it came time to unload the big stuff making sure everything found its way to the room it belonged in.

When the work was done, we were all sitting around the dining room table eating the pizza that mom ordered for dinner. We still had a ton of work to get done but dad suggested that we head upstairs and put the beds together so we could get some sleep before starting again in the morning.

Dinner was over and we started on the bed in Emmett's room first. The three of us put the frame together while my mom hunted down the boxes that had the linens in them. Her supreme organizational skills allowed her to find them easily. As we moved from bed to bed, mom followed behind us putting all the blankets and pillows in place. With that task done we all said goodnight and headed to our rooms for a good night's sleep.

"Edward, it's time to get up." Mom's voice and knock on my door pulled me out of yet another dream of Bella. In my dream world, Bella saw me once and that was all it took. She pushed her boyfriend aside, ran to me and threw her arms around my neck while my arms went around her waist. I could finally hold her again. I rolled over and pulled the pillow over my head. I wanted the dream back but I couldn't make myself fall asleep.

"Edward, the faster you get up; the faster we'll finish."

"Damn woman, let me sleep," I groaned too quiet for her to hear. A few seconds later, I swung my legs out of bed. I knew if I didn't she would just come back and bug me again. My mom must have found the boxes of clothes because there was a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt lying on the end of my bed.

I dressed quickly and headed downstairs. I was halfway down when I was hit with the smell of bacon. I took the rest of the stairs two at a time in my rush to get to the kitchen. I walked in and saw my mom fully dressed, hair done and make-up on, standing next to the stove frying some eggs for breakfast.

"Okay, exactly how long have you been up this morning," I asked as I kissed her on the cheek and stole a piece of bacon from the plate. I dodged the hand she swung at me and went to lean against the counter.

"Only a few hours. I ran to the store and picked up some food so we could eat today," she replied like it was nothing. "I wanted to make everyone a good breakfast."

I silently cursed myself for saying anything bad about her when she woke me up this morning. She was definitely one of a kind. The food smelled great and it was going to be nice to have a home cooked meal after eating take-out for the last four days.

"My love, you are truly one amazing woman," dad said as he drifted into the kitchen. He lifted her up and kissed her while twirling her around the room. My parents were never afraid to show their affection for each other.

"Oh god, get a room." Emmett's booming voice echoed in the nearly empty house. He walked to where I was standing and hoisted himself up to sit on the counter.

After another kiss, dad put mom down by the stove so she could finish cooking. As she went to crack the next egg into the pan dad snaked his arms around her waist and buried his face in the hair by her neck.

"Carlisle, if you don't stop I'm gonna burn the food." She laughed and jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow.

"Fine." He let her go with a fake pout and she just rolled her eyes at him.

"Emmett will you please set the table so we can eat? There are paper plates and plastic forks in the bag behind you." She sounded upset about it. "I'm sorry. I just didn't have the time to pull out all the dishes yet."

"Oh my god, woman! Are you serious?" Emmett jerked around and grabbed the bag. "I knew it. You are human after all. I've been telling people that for years but no one believed me." He jumped off the counter and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

"What exactly are you doing?" dad asked looking confused.

"I'm getting proof. Here mom, hold this." He handed her the stack of paper plates while he held up his phone for a picture.

Dad and I burst out laughing at his ridiculous behavior. Mom just played along walking toward Emmett to grab the plates. As soon as she had them in her hands, she hit Emmett with them. He looked shocked and I almost fell on the floor from laughing so hard.

"Now, go and set the table." She pointed toward the dining room.

The morning moved along and before I knew it I was in the garage moving boxes. Most of the boxes were stacked in here since our goal yesterday was just to get the truck unloaded. We were moving them into the rooms they belonged in and mom was moving from room to room unpacking as fast as she could.

I was on my way to grab another box from the garage and I couldn't believe how much I was sweating. I realized it was going to take me some time to get used to this weather. In California, the weather didn't change much; you knew what you were going to get. Here, the weather was crazy. Yesterday it was cold and there was snow on the ground. Today it felt like it was seventy degrees outside, the sun was shining and the snow is completely gone. It was too hot so I took my shirt off before I grabbed the next box.

"Oh…"

I heard a voice behind me. When I turned around to look, the girl had her back to me and her brown hair was shining in the sunlight.

_Bella?_

I hurried to put the box down before I dropped it. With the instant increase of my heart rate, my breathing went out of control as I maneuvered around the boxes on the ground. A couple steps closer to her and I felt that sharp pain all over again. It wasn't her. It may have been a couple of months since I was close enough to her to see, touch and breathe in the scent of her hair but it was something I wouldn't forget.

"Can I help you?" I asked the stranger with her back to me.

She turned and smiled at me. She was pretty. "Um…hi." She was shifting from one foot to the other as she talked. "I saw you yesterday and wanted to come over and introduce myself."

She paused so I stepped up to start the introductions. I extended my hand to her with a smile. "Hello." I noticed the dirt on the hand that I offered to her. I immediately started to wipe my hands on my pants to get some of the dirt off. "I'm sorry. I'm a little dirty from all the boxes. I'm Edward…Edward Cullen."

Her smile grew a little. Yes, definitely pretty. "That's okay," she said as she moved closer to grab my hand. "It's so nice to meet you. I'm Jessica Stanley."

* * *

**Thanks for reading. Please take a minute and let me know what you think, good or bad, it is all appreciated.**

**Also, I have an entry posted in the Picture Says It All contest on . Check it out. There are some great stories there. It is an anonymous contest and I would like to challenge you to guess which story is mine. I would love to hear your guesses before the truth is revealed when the contest is over. To find entries, search for author: A Picture Says It All**

**You can also follow me on twitter where I'll be posting teasers each week: [at]mizzdee_FF**


	15. Making New Friends

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, musical content, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: I want to give a huge thank you to my beta and great friend andromida1964 who was able to get this done and back to me in just a few hours. I also want to thank my WC ladies who encouraged me to just write through my problems and fix the mistakes later. You ladies are awesome.**

**Now let's join Edward as he makes a new friend.**

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* * *

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EPOV

Jessica and I stood there talking for about twenty minutes. Okay _we_ didn't really talk; she did most of the talking. I stood quiet and listened. She talked fast so in the time we were out there, she told me all about herself, her school and even some of the school's gossip. I never thought anyone could talk so much but, despite that, Jessica seemed like a nice girl.

"What the hell, Ed? Do I have to do _all_ the work?" Emmett's complaining voice reached us seconds before he did. His irritation dissipated as soon as he saw the girl standing in our garage.

"Calm down," I said. I turned my head to her so I could introduce them and I noticed that she had taken a couple of steps back. "Jessica, this loud and obnoxious person is my brother, Emmett. Emmett this is Jessica, our new neighbor."

Emmett pushed his way past me and reached out his hand. "Hey Jessica, it's nice to meet you."

"You too, Emmett." She shook his hand. "So, we'll all be going to school together." She sounded excited.

"Yeah, we'll be starting after the break is over," I told her.

She started to say something else but Emmett cut her off. "Jessica, I don't want to be rude or anything but we have to get these boxes into the house."

"Oh, okay then," she sounded embarrassed. "I don't want to get you into trouble, Edward. I'm_ sure_ we'll see each other later." She smiled at us and she turned to walk away.

We both turned to grab another box. Before I picked mine up, Jessica called my name.

"Oh Edward, since you two just moved to town and don't know anyone, would you like to come to a New Year's Eve party with me. It's only down the block and I could introduce you to some of the kids from school." She was fidgeting again. I'm sure she was nervous about asking us to go.

"I'll have to ask. We still have a lot of work to do here." I didn't want to agree and then have to cancel later.

Emmett slapped my arm. "What Edward meant to say was, sure we could go." He rounded on me. "You know mom would want us to get out and meet some of the kids around here."

He was right, of course. Mom wouldn't have said no if it meant that we could start out with some new friends. She was already worried about us making the transition and this would ease us into it a little more.

"Okay Jessica, I'll let my mom know and it should be fine. We'll be there."

She perked up with excitement. "Great. Well, I'll leave you two alone to get your work done. I'll see you around, Edward." She jogged out of the garage and headed back in the direction of her house.

Emmett burst out laughing as soon as she was gone.

"What's your problem?"

"Dude," he tried to say between the gulps of air he now had to take, "you are in so much fucking trouble." He was doubled over trying to catch his breath. He held up his finger letting me know that he had more to say. His panting slowed and he finally spoke, "You are not getting rid of that girl."

"Shut the fuck up, Em," I ordered as I punched his arm. I left his dumb ass laughing in the garage as I took the box into the house.

* * *

We were all looking at another busy day. All the boxes were cleared out of the garage yesterday and deposited in the rooms they belonged in. Today's word of the day was…organization. Mom had already unpacked the kitchen so she could cook normal meals for the family. So after breakfast, we were getting started on the rest of the house.

I stood in my room looking out the window before heading downstairs. Gazing at the gray, cloud-covered sky I wondered what happened to the sun yesterday. The shining sun and seventy degree weather disappeared overnight to be replaced by an ominous gray sky and twenty degree temperatures. The thought crossed my mind that maybe Mother Nature was bipolar.

_Damn, this weather sucks._

I made my way downstairs and was once again amazed by my mother. We all went to bed to the same mess downstairs but this morning I walked into the cleanest, most well organized living space imaginable. I was really starting to agree with Emmett…this woman living in my house was not human.

The smell of pancakes filled the kitchen as I walked in to kiss my mom on the cheek. "Morning. This place looks amazing, mom. So, are you gonna tell me how long you've been awake today?" I questioned her.

"Oh I don't know…a while," she grinned but didn't give me a real answer.

"Mom, you didn't have to do all of this alone. Why didn't you wake me up? I would have gladly helped you."

"You boys need your sleep. I'm fine, it's no big deal really." She stepped away from the stove and pulled the plates out of the cabinet and handed them to me. "It's what I do remember?"

"You spoil us too much." I kissed her again as I went to set the table.

My dad came into the kitchen now and went straight for her. "Do I have to say again how amazing you really are?" He kissed her on the back of her neck. "My love, the house looks great. Thank you for being the remarkable woman you are."

"Thank you, dear. I love you." Her smile was radiant as he pulled her in for a kiss.

"Gah, I really need to start waking up later so I can miss all this. Do I have to walk in on this _every_ morning?" Emmett shoved his hands between my parents to separate them. "Step away old man. You two keep this stuff up and I'm gonna end up with another annoying little brother."

I just shook my head. I think Emmett keeps forgetting how fast mom really is. Before he had the chance to jump out of her reach, she had a death grip on his ear.

"Ow, ow, ow. I'm sorry. Please, let go," Emmett begged as he ducked down to mom's height.

"Are you going to apologize?" she said with her authoritative 'mom' voice.

"Alright, alright." I could tell she let up on some of the pressure but she didn't let go. "I'm sorry I called you old," he said looking at dad.

_Dumb!_ I shook my head again as Emmett felt the pressure one more time.

"Ow…fine!" he yelled. "I'm sorry. Edward is _not_ annoying," he said and mom let go. He jumped away from her and added, "…much."

"Emmett," she scolded him with just one word.

We were laughing again. It seemed like we couldn't get through one breakfast without Emmett getting hit for something stupid that flew out of his mouth. One of these days he'll learn.

We sat down to eat and made our plan for the day. Emmett and I were spending the day working in our rooms. Dad was going to tackle his office while mom worked on the rest of the upstairs. We offered to help her but she refused saying that she could get it done faster on her own. I, of course, didn't doubt that for a second.

A few hours after breakfast, I was in my room unpacking my books and CDs to put them on the shelves. I never realized how many I had until I had to unpack all of them. I had always been a little OCD when it came to my CDs and I spent more time than was necessary alphabetizing the titles. I was frustrated when I set them up but it always made it easier to find them later. I reached back to grab the next stack and spotted Emmett lounging in my doorway with a grin that meant he was up to something.

"Aren't you supposed to be in your own room?" I asked.

"You need to go answer the door." He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"I didn't hear the bell."

"Get your ass downstairs," he ordered but I didn't move. I wasn't playing his game. "Just do it."

"Whatever." I walked past him. "And you call me annoying."

Halfway down the stairs, I heard the doorbell and Emmett's voice right after. "Told you." I jumped the last two stairs so whoever it was wasn't standing too long in the freezing weather.

I opened the door and saw Jessica on the other side. She looked cute all bundled up in a huge jacket, hat and scarf. The temperature had dropped to the point where the short walk from her house to mine turned the tip of her nose pink. She tried to smile but I could tell she was freezing so I invited her in.

"Hey Jessica, what's up?" I was curious to know why she was here.

"Nothing much. My mom and dad took off for the day and I didn't want to hang out at the house alone." She smiled as she took off her hat. "Is it okay if I hang out with you?"

"Sure no problem." I shrugged. "I was just organizing my room but I could take a break for a while."

"You don't have to do that," she looked guilty. An idea seemed to pop into her head and she grinned. "I can just sit on the bed and we can talk while you work."

"No, that's okay. A break is just what I needed." I didn't want to admit that mom would have a fit if she caught me with a girl in my room.

Her pouted lips gave away her disappointment before her voice bubbled back up and she asked if we had any movies that we could watch. Mom, domestic goddess supreme, already had the first floor looking like we've been living here for years.

"A movie sounds good," I agreed. "But first, let me introduce you to my parents."

She smiled and I motioned her forward. I placed my hand at the small of her back to guide her upstairs to my dad's office. I knocked and waited.

"Come in," he gave his permission.

I walked in but Jessica hung back by the door looking too nervous to enter. I grinned at her shyness. I waved my hand for her to come in. She took small steps and dad and I both laughed.

"Dad, this is Jessica Stanley. She lives next door." I gave a simple introduction.

Dad stood up and offered his hand to her. "It's nice to meet you Jessica. My name is Carlisle."

"Oh…you're Doctor Cullen. My aunt works at the hospital. She's mentioned you." Jessica broke out of her shell the minute my dad said his name and that started her talking a mile a minute again. After a few minutes, dad looked at me for a rescue.

Jessica was still going, "…and the people who used to live here didn't have any kids so I…"

"Dad, do you know which room mom is in?" I hated to be rude but my question stopped her from talking and the relief on my dad's face was clear.

"I actually think she's in the bedroom. It was good to meet you, Jessica. You're welcome here anytime."

Dad returned to his work and we walked down the hall to the bedroom. We found mom digging through a box full of pictures she would be hanging on the walls. She stood up when she heard my knock.

"Edward…oh hello," she grinned as she saw Jessica and I entering the room, together this time.

"Mom, this is Jessica Stanley from next door."

"Hello Jessica. It's a pleasure. My name is Esme." Jessica held out her hand to my mom but she didn't take it. She stepped around the box and gave Jessica a small hug. "I hear you're taking my boys to a New Year's Eve party."

"Yes ma'am, that's right. I thought I could introduce them to some of the other kids from school," she replied. She seemed to be a little more reserved in front of my mom.

_Hmmm that's interesting. I'll have to remember that._

"That's very nice of you Jessica. Thank you so much for helping my boys feel welcome."

She gave me a strange look that lasted half a second. "I will definitely do all I can to help, Mrs. Cullen."

"Mom, Jessica's parents went out for the day. Is it okay if I take a break for a while and keep her company until they get home?"

"Of course, Edward but I would like to have that room done today." Her tone was stern but still held a kindness to it.

"That's okay, Mrs. Cullen. My parents should only be gone for a few hours."

"We're just going to be downstairs watching a movie," I told her.

"Okay son. It's nice to meet you, Jessica." With that last sentence, mom went back to her box and I led Jessica back downstairs.

I let her pick out a movie while I grabbed some sodas. I should have guessed we would be watching a 'girl' movie. I didn't understand the appeal of overly romantic movies but as a guest, she could watch whatever she wanted. We sat on the couch in front of the TV and got comfortable and waited for the movie to start.

I had watched The Notebook a million times with mom and was tired of the whole storyline. When we got to the part where the girl went back to hook up with the old boyfriend even though she was engaged, I couldn't hold in my frustration.

"Stupid." I said the word loud enough for her to hear.

"What's stupid about it?" she asked clearly sounding offended that I would think such a thing.

"Well think about it. She meets a guy she claims to be in love with, but she leaves him. She meets another guy she claims again to be love with, totally forgetting about the first guy until she sees his picture in the paper. Then she takes off on the second guy to go back to the first guy. Let's forget the fact that the girl can't make up her mind, but she's clearly cheating on the guy she's engaged to. How can we applaud morally wrong behavior?"

"It sounds like you have a problem with romance," she responded.

"That's not it at all," I tried to explain my position but she reached over and poked me in the ribs making me jerk a little. I pushed her hand away.

"Aww Edward, are you not the romantic type," she said with a girlish tone to her voice and she poked me again with her other hand this time.

"That's not the…" I started to say when she hit my ribs with both hands making me laugh. "Oh now you did it," I warned as I grabbed both of her hands and began to tickle her right back.

I attacked her without mercy and she squirmed in my arms. She was breathing heavy and begging me to stop. I let go of her hands so she could catch her breath but she used my kindness to go after me again.

"I don't think so," I said as I got her hands again and went back on the offensive.

She begged again for me to stop but I wasn't giving in so easily this time. She was gasping for breath and I stopped for just a minute.

"Do you give?" She didn't answer so I started again. She squirmed her way onto my lap as I continued to question her. "Do you give?" I pinned her arms behind her back and moved to keep going when she finally answered.

"Yes, please just stop," she managed to say through the deep breaths she was trying to take. Her panting made her chest rise and fall drawing my attention.

I looked from her chest to her face and she was staring right back at me. We sat there for a minute holding each other's gaze. The hand that was resting on her side began to move of its own free will to stroke the ribs that I had been tickling not even two minutes ago. The air seemed to get thicker around us as we sat there.

"Am I interrupting something?" Emmett voice broke the intense moment as Jessica jumped out of my lap onto the floor.

"Uh…n-no," she stammered. "I was…nothing. I better go."

Her face was red as she hurried to the door. Emmett hadn't moved from where he was leaning against the living room wall. I went to help Jessica get her coat on. I heard a small laugh as I walked past him.

"I'm sorry about him." I didn't know what else to say.

"No it's okay. It's about time I get back anyway. I'm sure my parents will be home soon," she said as she buttoned her jacket. I handed her the scarf and hat still hanging on the coat rack.

She was bundled back up again and ready to go. I held open the door for her and she made her way out into the cold. As I closed the door, I heard Emmett's laugh behind me.

"What Em?" He was seriously irritating me.

"Nothin…just remember what I said." He shook his head as he walked away mumbling. "You aren't getting rid of her."

* * *

Two days passed and the sky was still the same gray color with no hint of sunshine anywhere. Unfortunately for me, the Gods decided they were going to drop a foot of snow on the ground. It was my first experience with this amount of snow. There was a little that came down a couple of days after we got here but it was nothing like this.

I sat in the chair by the living room window and watched it fall and bury everything it came in contact with. It was fascinating to watch the piles grow higher and higher as the white puffs blanketed every surface.

Sitting by the window, I could almost feel the frigid temperature through the glass. It's been freezing the last few days and I did whatever I could to make sure I stayed inside. When it came to the weather, I definitely wished I were back in California.

As much as I wished for warmer weather, there was nothing that would take me away from the one thing that brought me here…Bella. I began to daydream about what it would be like to be with her right now. I could be holding her in my arms, snuggling under a blanket while talking and getting to know each other. I pictured myself kissing her in front of the fireplace letting the heat warm our bodies. I would run one hand through her hair and let the other caress her face and body with all the love she deserved. I would tell her how she captured my heart the first day I saw her and it's been hers ever since.

_Why does she have to have a boyfriend? Why can't I be the one?_

"Edward," Dad's voice interrupted my dream, "I have a job for you."

I reluctantly brought myself back to reality. "What do you need, dad?"

"I need you and your brother to go shovel the snow from the sidewalk and the driveway before it gets too high." He was standing there with two brand new snow shovels that he brought out of the garage.

"You can't be serious! It's freezing out there. You're gonna make me shovel snow?" I asked in complete disbelief.

"Come on Ed, it won't be that bad. We finally get to play in the snow." Emmett was bouncing like a five-year-old ready to go out and play.

"Can someone _please _tell me why we had to leave California?" I grumbled as I stomped out the door with a snow shovel in my hand. My dream of Bella was lost the minute the biting cold slapped me in the face.

This was absolutely ridiculous. I stepped out and stuck the shovel in the snow. I threw the first pile to my left where the grass would be. I was about to grab the next pile when Emmett burst through the door and ran straight into the yard. He slid to the ground like the most seasoned baseball player and started to make a snow angel.

"Emmett! Get your ass outta the snow and fucking help me!" I was not going to stand out in twenty-degree weather longer than I had to.

"This is fun. You should try it."

"Act your damn age and pick up the shovel, asshole!" I didn't want to deal with the big kid today of all days. I wanted to be inside where it was warm and, more importantly, dry.

I turned away from him and picked up a couple more piles of snow. I had to work faster if I was ever going to get inside since I was obviously not going to get any help. I was halfway down the sidewalk when I got hit.

"You stupid son of a…" I was livid as I wiped off the remains of the snowball that hit the back of my head.

"Don't even say it, Edward. You know mom will kill you if she hears it." Emmett was rolling in the snow laughing.

"I'm not playing your game. Just get your ass up and help me!" He may be older than me but he rarely acted like it.

"Dude, why do you always have to act like your fifty years old instead of fifteen? Have some fun for a change." He was annoyed with me for ruining his fun but I was too cold to care.

He picked up his shovel and walked to the driveway to start working there. Five more shovels full of snow and I was finished with the sidewalk so I went to help with the driveway. Walking up, I noticed Emmett hunched over tying his shoe in one of the spaces he just cleared.

_Oh this is just too easy._

I used the snow covering the grass to fill my shovel so there was no scraping noise against the concrete to be heard. Stealthy was the word I was going for now. Sneaking up on Emmett was always tricky but right now he wasn't expecting anything from me. I was three feet away but the length of the shovel cut the distance to about a foot and a half. I just needed him to turn around.

He started to get up and turned slightly to pick up his shovel. As soon as I saw a sliver of skin, I threw the entire mound of snow at him. I didn't even wait for the reaction. I made my way to take cover behind the tree at the other end of the yard. I began to pile my ammo for the fight that was about to start.

"You want me to act like a kid…then fine," I shouted as I threw the first snowball in his direction.

The fight was on. Emmett took cover behind mom's car. He knew his aim was ten times better than mine so he was waiting every time I stepped out from behind the tree to take a shot. Snow was flying back and forth across the yard as we each tried to get the best shot. I let a snowball fly just as I took a dive back to the tree.

"What," Emmett said, "you can't hit me so you have to take out the girl?" he laughed.

"What?" I hollered and peeked around the tree thinking he was just trying to get me to come out.

I saw Jessica just to the right of mom's car with snow in the middle of her jacket. I moved out from behind the tree to see if she was okay. "Shit! I'm sorry Jessica. I didn't see you there."

It was definitely not one of my better ideas 'cause as soon as I was in the middle of the open yard, Emmett started firing. I took three direct hits in the cheek, chest and arm that stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Thanks for the distraction, Jess." Emmett was laughing. "It was just what I needed to get his little ass away from that tree."

He was ready to take his next shot when a snowball to the side of his head shocked him. His hand went to the side of his face and Jessica started running towards me for protection. I grabbed her hand and we both took off for the tree.

"You shouldn't have done that little girl. Now you're gonna get the same treatment he's getting," Emmett called after us.

One shot hit me in the back just before we got to the tree. I made sure her back was to the tree so she wasn't in Emmett's line of fire. I was standing directly in front of her to make sure we were both covered. I leaned to the right just a little and a snowball zoomed past my head so I pulled back as fast as I could.

Jessica's laugh caught my attention. "I'm sorry, Jessica. I didn't hit you too hard did I?"

"No I'm good. This is fun. I haven't had a snowball fight in a couple of years," she giggled. "Let me make some more."

She kneeled down in front of me while I kept an eye out for Emmett. I stepped out and took a shot that nailed him right in the chest. I threw the next one while he was distracted and it went over his head.

"Hurry I need more."

She was handing them to me as fast as I could throw them. Soon the snow in our immediate area was gone. She moved away from the tree to scoop up more snow when Emmett started shooting at us again. Jessica took a couple of shots in the side and went running back to the tree. She ended up running right into me and we both fell to the ground.

That did it. Emmett had clear shots and was definitely taking them. I could tell he was closing in as the force of the hits increased. He was practically right on top of us. I had Jessica underneath me trying to protect her from getting hit.

"Have you had enough?" He hit me a few more times. "I asked if you've had enough."

"Yes…fine. We give up. You win." I expected another attack so I tightened my grip on her to keep her out of his sights.

"That's right. I'm the champ and don't you forget it."

I looked up and he had his hands raised in victory. He bounded back over to the driveway and picked his shovel back up to finish the job we were sent out here to do. I looked at Jessica and she was covered in snow.

"Come on, let's get you out of the snow." I pulled her up and began to dust the snow off of her. "Thanks for helping. I've never had a snowball fight before. That was fun."

"You've never had a snowball fight before?" she questioned, sounding shocked.

"Nope, never saw snow before we moved here."

She seemed surprised by that and wanted to know more. Ignoring every request I made for her to go home so she could warm up, she stood out there with us just asking questions about us while we finished the driveway. We all walked into the house together when we were done. Mom must have seen her out there with us because she had three steaming cups of hot chocolate waiting for us on the table next to the fireplace.

She insisted that Jessica change into a pair of her old yoga pants and a t-shirt while she dried her clothes. With heavy reluctance, Jessica agreed and went to change. The three of us sat there talking for the next few hours. When it was finally time for her to go, mom insisted that I walk her home since it was after dark. We each bundled up in our jackets and made our way to her house. I stopped just short of her front door while she pulled her key out of her pocket.

"My parents aren't home yet. Do you want to come in for a minute? Keep me company?" I was surprised by her question.

"Sorry Jessica, I can't. It wouldn't be right without your parents being here." Mom, and dad too for that matter, would literally kill me if I went into a girl's house if she were there alone. "Besides, my mom is waiting for me to get back."

I noticed the shift in her expression as her face fell slightly. She seemed disappointed that I had to leave but rules are rules and I knew better than to break _that_ one.

"Goodnight Jessica," I said as I turned to leave.

"Wait Edward." She put her hand on my arm to stop me. "You're still coming with me to the party tomorrow right?"

"Of course. I wouldn't miss it," I assured her.

A smile lit up her face as her excitement returned. She jumped and threw her arms around my neck. I let out a small laugh and hugged her back for a quick second before letting go.

"This is gonna be so much fun. You'll see."

* * *

I was extremely nervous about going to this party. I never asked Jessica if she knew Bella or not. If they were friends then she would be there tonight and I didn't know what I would do if she was. If she showed up she would be with her boyfriend, of course. I just wasn't ready to face that yet.

Accepting the fact that I can't have her had been harder than I thought it would be. Emmett's advice to just walk up and tell her I want her wasn't going to work for me. I could never make her choose between me and someone she clearly cared for. I still couldn't get past the desire to keep her close. I hadn't washed my shirt yet and the strawberry smell was just about gone. I struggled to think of what I would do when I didn't have that anymore.

I couldn't think about that now. Jessica was going to be here in about an hour and we would head out to meet her friends. I had to make sure I looked my best. Mom always says that first impressions are everything.

I had on a nice, dark blue button down shirt and black jeans. I walked downstairs to meet Emmett. He was already talking to Jessica. He thought she was funny and would do whatever he could to get her riled up. I don't know why he would because she always seemed to talk faster when she was wound up. I thought it would have been impossible until I heard it for the first time.

She turned when Emmett pointed in my direction. Her eyes grew three times their normal size. I had to hold back my laugh.

"Hey Edward," she said with a smile on her face.

"Hi Jessica. You're right on time," I said as I walked up to her and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for inviting us tonight. It is really nice of you to introduce us to everyone."

She had a slight blush when she looked at me. "It's nothing, Edward. I would hate being the new kid in town and start out not knowing anyone. At least this way, you'll know some people when you start school."

"Alright, let's get this show on the road." Emmett clapped his hands and rubbed them together. He was anxious to see if his "blondie" was there.

"Mom," I yelled. "We're leaving."

Mom appeared at the top of the stairs. "Okay you two. Make sure you're back by one o'clock. Emmett…" She gave him the look that said 'take care of your brother'.

Emmett just nodded back to her. It was stupid if you asked me. I was fifteen for Christ sake. I didn't need a babysitter.

We walked out into the cold night. I wasn't quite used to the frigid temperatures yet and no matter what coat I wore, I was freezing. She said it was only down the block. I could manage that far.

Sure enough we only had to walk about eight houses down. It was on the next block. The house wasn't that big and, from the amount of people that Jessica said would be there, I didn't know how they would all fit. She opened the door and walked in with us following behind her. The place was packed and she was saying hi to everyone as we took our first step into the living room. She got a little bold and wrapped her arm around mine as we walked through the room.

She introduced us to a couple of football players first. "Mike Newton, this is Edward and Emmett Cullen. They just moved in next door to me." Her excitement couldn't be contained.

"What's up," he said with a slight jerk of his head. He reached out to shake my hand and started to grip it harder in some medieval show of strength.

_Please! This kid has another thing coming if he thinks he's stronger than me._

I squeezed back and watched his face betray him and show the pain he was feeling in his hand. I couldn't help the smirk that crept up on my face. "Nice to meet you, Mike."

He pulled his hand away and reached for Emmett's hand next. "Oh shit," he said as Emmett gripped his hand. Mike didn't even begin to try to test his strength with him but Emmett did it anyway.

"I remember you," Emmett said with a cold, hard voice. Mike swallowed hard and he looked scared. "Harassing any more girls lately?" The look on Emmett's face could only be described as deadly.

Once he said that, I recognized him and understood the look on my brother's face. Emmett was pissed the last time he was here and he caught this guy yelling at the blonde girl. I could see the vein on Emmett's arm starting to pop out and I was afraid he was going to break the kid's hand.

I nudged his arm. "Em…enough."

With a sneer, he let go of Mike's hand. "I _will_ have my eye on you."

Just like before, Mike took off in the opposite direction looking like he wanted to throw up. Emmett laughed and turned back to me and winked.

"Was it something I said?"

* * *

The party was fun; great music and a good bunch of people. Jessica introduced us to everyone there. It was nice to meet so many people but I probably wouldn't remember half of them when we finally got to start school. I had mixed feelings about not seeing Bella though. I wanted so desperately to see her but I didn't want to see her with her boyfriend. It was a crowded party and I was sure there would have been a way to get her alone.

_Let it go Edward. She has a boyfriend and she still doesn't know you're here. Look to your left stupid. You've got a perfectly good girl standing right there._

The voice of reason was shouting in my head. I glanced down at Jessica and I fought back a smile. Even if Bella was here I don't think I would have gotten the chance to talk to her alone because Jessica hadn't let go of my hand yet. I really didn't mind. She was pretty and she made me laugh. She had spent so much time at my house this last week that I realized I liked hanging out with her.

After the first trip around the house, we made our way into the kitchen where she decided it was time to get a drink. What I had failed to realize while making our way through the crowd was the fact that everyone was drinking beer. I wasn't the type of guy to pass judgment on anyone but it just wasn't my thing.

"Hey, you guys want a beer?" one of the kids, I think his name was Tyler, offered when he saw us standing there. Jessica grabbed a cup and looked at me.

"None for me thanks," I refused the cup he held out to me. He offered it up to Emmett instead.

"Nah dude, I wouldn't touch the stuff," he said with a wave of his hand.

The clock was moving closer to midnight and we had been there talking and hanging out for about an hour when I heard the music change. Jessica was giving me 'the eye' and I knew what she wanted from me. I didn't dance, well not recently anyway, so there was no way I was asking her. Emmett had ditched me when he found a couple of guys to talk to so I didn't have anyone to deflect the order that flew out of her mouth.

"Edward, come dance with me."

Before I said anything she led me to the room where everyone was dancing to the love song that had just started. I shrugged as she stepped closer to me. I was happy to keep her at arm's length but she had other plans. She snaked her arms around my neck and got even closer. With all the beer she had been drinking, she was pretty buzzed by this point. I had already thought she was bold before by grabbing my hand when there was nothing going on between us but that was nothing compared to how she was acting now.

The minute she got close, her lips found their way to my ear. I felt a soft kiss just before her tongue licked my earlobe. I took a quick step back.

"Jessica, what…" I started to say.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I just thought you… that we…" She looked mortified and I instantly felt bad for her. She started to walk away and I had to stop her.

"It's okay Jessica. You just caught me off guard that's all." I didn't want her to feel bad and I wouldn't mind kissing her. "Can we go talk where it's a little quieter?" I asked.

She led me to a hallway at the back of the house where the music wasn't so loud. I leaned against the wall and she stood in front of me. I was holding her hand and looking her right in the eyes so she would know that I meant what I was about to say.

"I do like you Jessica and, believe me, getting a kiss from a pretty girl is a good thing but I would just like to be the one to make the first move."

She smiled when I admitted that I wanted to kiss her. "I'm sorry. You just look so good tonight that I couldn't help myself."

I laughed a little and grabbed her other hand. "Well, thank you. You look really good tonight yourself."

While I was looking at this girl in front of me, my mind finally accepted defeat and I admitted to myself that I wasn't going to get the girl I wanted. She had a boyfriend and she was happy with him. I had to move on and try to be happy myself.

I took a little courage from that thought and I pulled on her hands to bring her to me. I put my hands on her waist and leaned down to her ear. "Jessica," I whispered my request, "may I kiss you?"

I heard a small gasp and her soft "yes". I moved slowly and kissed her cheek before I placed a kiss on her lips. She got a little too excited and increased the speed of the kiss and I had to back away again.

"Jessica, slow down." I laughed a little at her enthusiasm. "I'm not going anywhere. There's no need to rush this."

It was a struggle to hold back the laugh that wanted to force its way out as I watched her take three deep breaths. "Okay, sorry."

I pushed a piece of her hair behind her ear and I dipped my head down to kiss the spot on her neck that was now open to me. I heard a louder gasp this time and I knew she enjoyed it, so I kept going.

I kissed her in the same spot a couple more times before I moved down her neck a little. As I moved back up, I pulled the soft part of her ear between my lips. Her breathing increased in volume and speed as I let go and made my way along her jaw. Taking myself away from her again, I looked in her eyes and asked her permission once more. She simply nodded and watched as I made my slow descent to her lips.

I touched my lips to hers as soft as I could and she responded by leaning her body into mine. I tightened my arms around her and deepened the kiss. She finally relaxed and followed my lead as our bodies melted together. We stayed that way for a long time. She was pressed into me while my hands explored her body. I ran my hands over the length of her back before bringing them to her sides. I smoothed them up and down her ribs while getting dangerously close to her chest with every pass. I wrapped them around her waist one more time and pulled her tight against me.

I was more excited by our connection than I realized and she felt it too as I heard the intake of breath that broke our kiss. She looked up at me through her long lashes and she wasn't just pretty anymore. She looked sexy.

She opened her mouth and closed it a couple of times but no sound came out. She looked down trying to avoid my eyes. I put my finger under her chin and lifted her face to look at me.

"Whatever you have to say, please, just say it." I made my voice as sincere as I could. I really wanted to hear what she was thinking.

"Not here, okay." Her eyes begged me to understand.

"Okay." I was about to step away and lead her back to the party but her words stopped me.

"Follow me." A small hint of anxiety filled me as she grabbed my hand and led me to the door at the end of the hall. She pushed it open and stepped in, pulling me with her. I scanned the darkened room and see didn't much. I think I made out a weight bench in the corner but I wasn't too sure. I heard the door click as it closed behind me. I turned and Jessica's hands reached out to touch my chest.

She leaned in and whispered in my ear. "Now, where were we?"

* * *

**A/N: As always, thanks for reading. Let me know what you think, good or bad, it's always appreciated.**

**Follow me on twitter: mizzdee_FF**


	16. Life's Ups And Downs

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, musical content, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**As always I have to give a huge thank you to my beta and great friend andromida1964 who was able to get this done and back to me in just a few hours. I also want to thank my WC ladies who keep me writing every day. You ladies are awesome.**

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BPOV

Christmas vacation sucked. I knew I was in major trouble so, when Charlie came home and grounded me for eternity, I wasn't surprised. I was upset that I had to cut off all communication with the entire world because that included Jacob. I hadn't seen or spoken to him all week and I really missed him. He said he was going to try to see me but he was in as much trouble as I was so it had been impossible.

The only people allowed through my door were Alice and Rosalie. Even Jasper and Collin weren't allowed to set one toe inside my house. It was hard to separate the couples these days so, unfortunately for me, it meant that I spent most of my time alone…completely isolated. Charlie took my cell phone away and, when he left for work, he took the receiver to the home phone to make sure I didn't make any calls while he was gone.

I had been grounded before but never was I on complete and total lockdown like I was now. I think people in prison had more freedom than I did these days. I only had one more week to wait until school started and I would be allowed to spend time around people again. I hoped I could hold out that long before I actually went crazy.

I was lying in my room reading my sixth book this week when I heard my front door open and close. I wondered who it was since I knew it wasn't time for Charlie to come home yet. Light footsteps hit the stairs as whoever it was made their way to my room. It couldn't be someone intending to kill me or anything because one…they obviously had a key to my house and two…I wasn't quite that lucky. I would be left alive to suffer this boredom for as long as Charlie saw fit to punish me. The footsteps got closer and a second later the blonde goddess better known as Rosalie came and plopped down on my bed.

"Rose, what are you doing here?" I didn't expect to have company tonight so her presence was a very welcomed surprise.

"Did you think I was going to let my best friend sit home alone on New Year's Eve? I don't think so, Bella," she said innocently.

"Right Rose, spill it. Where did Collin go tonight that you two couldn't be together?" I knew there was a reason she was here.

"He didn't go anywhere. I wanted to spend time with…" I glared at her cocking my eyebrow when she tried to play me. "Oh all right." She rolled her eyes. "He's sick so his dad is making him stay home. I didn't want to be the third wheel with Alice and Jasper tonight, so I came over here."

"Well it's nice to know where I rank on your list." My statement was laced with heavy sarcasm.

"Oh be quiet before I leave you to ring in the New Year alone," she threatened.

"No, no I will happily take third on your list right now," I told her. "You could even put me tenth and I would take it."

"Okay drama queen," she laughed. "So, what do you wanna do tonight?"

"Hmm, let me see." I pretended to think. It wasn't like I had a whole lot of options. I forced excitement on my face as I started my list. "We could go shopping in Paris, or we could head out to Times Square to watch the ball drop. Oh wait, I've always heard that New Years in Chi-town is awesome. Take your pick."

"Funny…you wanna be a smart ass, then I'm leaving." She got up to walk towards the door.

"Alright fine, what did you have in mind?" I questioned her. With Rosalie, there was always a plan.

"I brought movies, music and ice cream, of course. Where do you wanna start?"

"Well, considering I haven't spoken to anyone other than Charlie, when he decides to speak to me that is, in three days…I would say the movies are not an option." I got a little sad at the state of my life right now. "I want to have fun, I want to talk, and I want to see…" I wasn't going to get my wish so I just shut up.

"See Jake?" She raised her eyebrows at me.

"I miss him, Rose. I want to see him so bad but I know I can't. I can't help but think that he hates me for getting him into trouble."

"I'm sure he doesn't hate you. He probably feels bad for getting you into trouble. Why don't you call him?" she asked.

"I can't call him. You know Charlie took my phone," I reminded her.

"But…" she searched in her purse for something, "…he didn't take this one." She held a phone in front of me and the evil grin on her face meant she was up to no good.

"I can't. Charlie would be ready for that. He's probably got Billy keeping tabs on him making sure I don't call him somehow." My dad was cunning and would have considered all possibilities. "Charlie is a cop, remember? If I know him, he gave Billy yours and Alice's phone numbers so he could check the caller ID when calls came in."

"That's true but he wouldn't be expecting…someone else to be in on this." She purposely kept me in suspense.

Yeah she definitely had something up her sleeve. She was being evasive knowing I would be too curious to let it go.

"Who else is in on what?" I was going for nonchalance but the excitement about the possibility of talking to Jacob was just too much to be casual. I was on my knees anxiously waiting for her answer.

"How much is the information worth to you?" She winked at me.

"Don't play with me, Rose." I pushed and almost knocked her off the bed.

"Okay, I went to the video store to pick up the movies and I ran into Sam. He told me that Jake is just as upset as you are but he's not as isolated as you've been," she said.

I waited for her to finish explaining but she seemed to be done talking. Her smug expression told me that she was enjoying the torture she was putting me through.

"That's it!" I jumped at her and pinned her to the bed. "Rosalie Hale, if you don't tell me what the hell you have planned I'm going to rip your hair out." Her fit of hysterical laughter convinced me that she didn't believe I would or ever could hurt her.

"Get off me you psycho." She pushed me off her like it was nothing. She smoothed out her clothes, stalling again, before she finished. "We started talking and came up with a plan." She tossed the phone on the bed between us. "We know you both want to talk, and Jake's dad doesn't care if he calls, so he gave me his phone to bring to you." Her eyes sparkled as she spoke the words that would make me the happiest girl in the world. "Jake will be waiting for your call at midnight."

My hands covered my mouth as I screamed. I lunged at her again, this time it was to wrap my arms around her. "Oh my God, Rose. I can't believe you did that."

"You shouldn't be forced to spend New Year's Eve without at least talking to your boyfriend." She beamed at me and I thanked God for my friends.

* * *

I pressed my ear to Charlie's door for the tenth time in an hour. He was still snoring away, not suspecting a thing. I tiptoed back to my room and closed the door with a faint click. Ten more minutes, that's all I had to wait. I began pacing, too keyed up to sit still.

"If you don't sit your ass down I'm gonna tie you to that chair," Rose warned pointing at the chair under my vanity table.

"I can't help it. I haven't talked to Jake in over a week. I'm too excited to sit," I whispered.

"Okay Bella, when you call I'm gonna go take a shower so you can have some privacy. You'll be fine as long as you breathe," she laughed.

I had been driving her crazy for the last four hours since she told me he would be waiting for me. I was constantly checking the clock or asking her what time it was just so I could have a second opinion.

Rosalie grabbed her bag and started getting her things together before she walked out of the room. Two more minutes and I started taking deep breaths trying to calm myself down. But, as soon as I started punching in the numbers, my heart was racing and I was out of breath again.

One ring…two rings…three rings…nothing.

I pulled the phone away from my ear to see the time on the phone. It was midnight exactly so he should have answered. I put the phone to my ear again and heard another ring. I felt the pressure of being let down again build up in my chest. I cursed Rosalie, and Sam too, for getting my hopes up. I knew Jacob wouldn't be waiting for me. I was about to push the button to end the call when I heard his voice on the other end.

"Give me my damn phone," he growled, clearly talking to someone else and I could swear I heard a girl laughing. "Hey Sam, what's up."

"What?" The stupid question left my mouth before I remembered that I was using Sam's phone to call.

"Nothin' much…just hangin', watchin' a movie." He was obviously playing a role for whoever was in the room with him. "Cool…hang on a minute."

I didn't say anything through all of this because I knew he wasn't able to talk to me freely yet. He evidently covered the phone because I heard his muffled voice talking to someone else again. A minute later I heard the shuffling sound of Jacob moving the phone around to a normal position.

"Bella," he whispered anxiously.

"Hi Jake." I couldn't keep the smile off my face now.

"Damn, doll, it is so good to hear your voice."

"I was just thinking the same thing. I've missed you so much," I confessed.

"Yeah, it's been a long week." His voice changed a little and he sounded remorseful. "Bella, I'm sorry you got into so much trouble. I feel bad for the way Charlie's treating you right now. It my all my fault," he apologized.

"It wasn't just you Jake. I wanted you to stay with me. If we would have been smart enough to use call forwarding, I would have wanted you to stay the whole weekend with me."

I had never come out and said it before. We talked about him staying with me but it was never a definite decision. But with the way things were going that night, I wouldn't have wanted him to leave.

"Mmmm…that would have been nice." His tone went deeper as he said it, making me blush. "So, doll, how long are you on lockdown?"

"I honestly don't know. Charlie hardly speaks to me anymore. I knew he was angry with me but I didn't expect this."

"What have you been doing this whole time?"

"Nothing really." I exhaled showing my frustration. "I've been reading a lot. Charlie allows me to go online and order books from the library and he picks them up for me. There's nothing else I can do."

"What about the girls? Alice is always at your house and blondie too for that matter. They don't come over anymore? What, they just abandon you because you're grounded?" He started to get angry. "Some friends."

"It's not like that Jake. In fact, Rose is here right now. You know that's how I got this phone," I defended them. "It's not they haven't come here. There are just a lot of hours in the day to fill when you aren't allowed to leave the house."

"I'm sorry, doll. I just hate that you're alone."

"Me too."

Our conversation continued and I was so thankful that Rosalie took such long showers. I was able to talk to Jake for almost half an hour. Talking to him was always easy and our conversation flowed from one topic to the next. I wished there could have been more time but I was just thankful that I could hear his voice again. When I heard the shower turn off, I knew my time was up.

"As much as I hate it, I have to go Jake. Rose will be coming back in a minute and I don't wanna push my luck and get caught by Charlie." It hurt to get off the phone but I didn't have another choice.

"I know. I don't want you in more trouble because of me."

"Me either. I don't think I could handle more trouble." We both laughed.

"Oh hey," he blurted out. "Why don't you come to the bus stop early when we go back to school? We could hang out for a bit before everyone shows up."

I couldn't have asked for anything more. "I would love that. How early?"

"How about twenty minutes?"

I would have liked more time but I would take what I could get. "I can do that. I better go." I paused. "I love you, Jake."

"Happy New Year, Bella."

We said goodbye and hung up. I rolled over on my bed and hugged one of my pillows. Rosalie walked in a couple minutes later, pajamas on and her hair wrapped in a towel. She sat in front of me on the bed but I didn't look at her.

She was the first to break the silence. "So, how did it go? You don't look happy."

"I'm fine, Rose. Thank you so much for doing that for me…for us. It means a lot." There was a pain in my voice that I couldn't hide from her. Sometimes I think she saw more of me than even Alice did.

"If you're fine, then why do you look like someone just shot your dog?" She nudged me in the ribs with her elbow trying to make me laugh.

"I just miss him."

"I know this is hard on you but you only have a week to wait. Then you can see him five days a week. That's gotta count for something, right?"

I smiled at her. "Yeah, I can't wait."

* * *

It was the first day back at school after the longest two weeks in my short life. I was still grounded, of course, but Charlie allowed me to have my cell phone back during school hours in case I needed to call him. He was going to be monitoring my phone use so he would know if I was using it while I was at school. Some days he was too much of a cop for my liking. Oh well, at least I was going to get some human contact and my body was buzzing from the excitement of it.

Charlie left for work early because the snow always slowed down traffic. I was ready to see Jacob again so I took off in a dead sprint to the bus stop. Because we were meeting so early, there was no way anyone was going to see me running like a maniac to get there. When I skidded to a stop, I was lucky to be alone because I really needed to catch my breath. My heavy breathing hadn't quite calmed down before he got there.

"I hope all that heavy breathing is for me." His laugh was music to my ears.

I spun around as fast as my body would safely carry me. Almost as if I had no control over myself, the sight of him had me running and flinging myself into his arms. He scooped me up and twirled me around before giving me the passion-filled kiss I had been waiting two weeks for. When breathing became a problem, he lowered me to the ground and separated our lips.

"Well, it's nice to see you too." He gave me that sweet, innocent grin that I loved and I wrapped myself around his body. "Sit with me."

We walked to the bench and he sat me in his lap never once letting me go. I loved the contact, the feel of his arms around me and the warmth that I felt coming from him. It _was_ pretty cold out so I took comfort in that warmth.

Jacob and I were back to ourselves again in no time; talking, laughing and just being us. At random times through our conversation he would place a small kiss on my forehead or my cheek and even a couple on my lips. We were just happy to be there with each other that nothing else was needed.

Unfortunately though, other kids started showing up, ruining our time together. Alice showed up and came bouncing over to me. She said hi to Jacob which was nice. She still didn't like him but she stopped being hateful to him when she realized that he was keeping her and Jasper's secret to himself.

"Perfect timing," she said out of nowhere. "Your friends are coming, Jake. You can take off now. I need to talk to Bella."

She grabbed my hand and yanked me off Jacob's lap. "Gah, rip my arm off why don't you."

"Whatever drama queen. I didn't even pull that hard."

I was really starting to hate Alice and Rosalie's new nickname for me. I wasn't a drama queen. The last two weeks were just awful and I expressed my opinion about it…a lot. But I wouldn't call that drama queen behavior. I knew for a fact that if Alice ever got grounded like I was, she would lose all grip on reality and go completely insane. I would never bring that up to her though.

"Run along, Jake." She shooed him away with a little shake of her hand like he was some fly to get rid of.

Jacob kissed me on the cheek again. "Bye, doll. I'll talk to you later."

Alice piped up before I could say goodbye. "Yeah, yeah bye." She grabbed my hands and turned back into the bouncy, excited girl that was my best friend. "Guess what?"

I laughed at her simple question. "What? Wait…don't tell me." I put my finger to my chin to pretend I was thinking just to tease her. "Oh I know." I leaned in to whisper so my little joke didn't start rumors. "You're pregnant and you're gonna have little blonde babies running around."

"God no!" She hit me for making the joke. "Why would you ever jinx me like that?"

"It was just a joke, calm down." I loved Alice. It was always so easy to rile her up.

"Anyway…Jasper asked me to go skiing with him and his family next weekend. They're gonna rent a condo for the weekend and everything. Isn't that exciting?" She was jumping up and down again in pure Alice style.

"Umm Alice…not to burst your bubble or anything but do you remember what happened the last time you tried to go skiing?" Her face fell as she thought about it. "You haven't been back since."

"Yeah but I'll have Jasper with me this time. He won't let me break anything." She sounded confident but I knew better.

"Alice, the only thing clumsier than me is _you_ on a pair of skis. Are you sure you want to risk that in front of Jasper? You might completely shatter the boy's image of you." I couldn't help teasing her. Alice on skis was one of the funniest things I'd ever seen.

"Shut up, Bella. I'll be fine." Her angry pout was cute and I could have made more comments just to tease her but I was being good.

"Yeah I suppose he likes you enough to take care of you up there. I should warn him though just so he knows what he's in for." Okay so I wasn't above teasing one last time. "I don't want to see my little friend broken again." I pinched her cheek as I said it, trying not to laugh.

She hit me again but that was okay. I was in a good mood this morning. I was finally out of the house and I got to spend time with Jacob. It was all I could ask for right now. I was determined not to let anything get me down on my first day of freedom.

* * *

Today had been a good day. I was kind of lonely though. I only had Alice in one of my classes so far and I was pretty bored. I hadn't seen Rosalie, Jasper or Collin all morning either. I was going to have to suffer in silence until my next class was over so I could hang out with them during lunch.

I walked into the science room and took a seat near the back. If I could fade into the background in science I would be happy. I knew I wasn't going to have Rosalie or Collin in my class this semester so it was going to be a long term. As if the Gods decided that I hadn't had enough punishment in the past two weeks, I watched in horror as Jessica Stanley walked in and took the seat right behind me.

I had the unfortunate pleasure of getting to know her before the winter break. I couldn't say that I liked her. She was shallow, superficial and one of the biggest sluts in our class. I had no desire to be anywhere near her but, just my luck, I was going to be stuck sitting by her for the next four months.

_Ugh…why me god? What did I do that was so bad that you would punish me like this?_

I looked up as I asked my question to the heavens. As I was asking God my question, my pain was doubled as Lauren, Jessica's skanky friend, walked in and sat next to her. Great. Now I was going to have to listen to both of them for the rest of the school year. I slumped in my chair as I begged for this hour to fly by so I could meet the girls for lunch. But, who was I to think I would get so lucky.

"O.M.G. Jess, I just saw him and he looks so hot today! I can't believe you hooked up with him so fast." Lauren did the little girl screech that could make your eardrums bleed.

"Yeah, girl I couldn't believe how easy it was. I was there the minute they moved in. I went over every day so I could get his attention and the next thing you know…" she stopped, thinking she was being dramatic.

There was nothing subtle about Jessica and it was laughable when she tried to hint at what she actually did with guys. It's not like there was anyone in this school who didn't know. She had the worst reputation and she more than lived up to it. I kind of felt bad for whatever new kid she snared into her little trap. I hope he had all of his shots because if he was going to be with her then he would need them. I had to stop listening to the mind numbing conversation going on behind me before I actually threw up all over my desk.

The hour drug on and on as I tried to pay attention to the teacher while trying to tune out the discussion of Jessica's sex life. I watched the clock the entire hour and was relieved when the minute hand ticked the final time to end this stupid class. The sound of the bell was music to my ears and I shot out of my chair in my rush to get away from the skank twins, as Rosalie called them.

Just as I was about to cross the threshold to freedom, I heard my name being called behind me.

"Miss Swan, can I please speak with you for a minute?"

Really? It was the first day of the term. He couldn't possibly have anything he needed to talk to me about right now. I plastered a smile on my face. "Yes, Mr. Murphy." I grudgingly made my way back to his desk.

"Miss Swan, I was asked to let you know that Mr. Collins would like to see you before you go to the cafeteria for lunch," he informed me.

I perked up a bit. This meant that they had the details nailed down for my internship. I couldn't wait to start and I had been on pins and needles waiting for them to give me the information I would need to get started. I couldn't believe how well my future was falling into place.

"Thank you Mr. Murphy. I'll go there right now." He said goodbye and I ran from the room.

Mr. Collins' classroom was only a few doors down so I didn't have to run very far to get there. I peeked in and saw him sitting at his desk reading a piece of paper. I knocked lightly to get his attention.

He looked up from his paper to see me standing in his doorway. I still wasn't used to seeing a smile on his face when addressing a student but it was there again and I felt a sense of pride that I was able to get that reaction from him.

"Miss Swan, it's nice to see you. I hope you had a good vacation," he said politely.

Well I wasn't going to tell him the truth so I just said it was fine and left it at that. No need to go into all the gory details of my imprisonment over the past two weeks.

"Please, have a seat for a moment." He gestured toward the chair by his desk and I took it. "Miss Swan, I wanted to speak with you about your internship with the newspaper. I've spoken with Mr. Sawyer, Mr. Davis and your father and we have come to an agreement. As you are taking Journalism this term, and it comes at the end of your day, we have decided that you will leave campus at the end of your sixth period and go to the news room to work with Mr. Sawyer. You will receive school credit for this and your grade in my class will based on evaluations I receive from him. Is this acceptable to you?" he asked and waited for my acceptance.

I was so excited that I didn't think before I blurted out my "yes". This was everything I could dream of. I was going to get to work in a real news room with real reports on real stories. For a fifteen year old girl, there couldn't be anything better in this world than to have your future career fall into your lap.

"One more thing," he continued. "This isn't going to start immediately. I realize that your season on the swim team is not over yet. Your last swim meet is February second, so your schedule for the next month will have you attending class here. After your season is over, you will begin your internship."

Okay so I was wrong. This made everything better. I had my dream job lined up in front of me and I was able to keep it while finishing my season. I was the happiest girl on earth right now and nothing could bring me down.

I thanked him and ran from the room in a hurry to go tell the girls what happened. I knew they were going to be at our normal table in the cafeteria and I was too excited to bother with food so I ran straight to them. I noticed that our table was more crowded than usual. I got within two feet of my friends when I saw who was sitting in my normal seat.

I stopped dead in my tracks; my legs wouldn't carry me any closer. I had to be dreaming. This couldn't be real. I stood there frozen with the shock of the moment and just stared at the back of his head. I remembered that hair. I had never seen anything like it before. It had to be him.

"Edward," I said in complete disbelief. He turned faster than I thought anyone could move when I called his name. It was really him. My hand moved in slow motion to cover my mouth and my eyes welled up with tears. The one person who had taken over my dreams for months was sitting two feet away from me. I couldn't move.

"Bella," he said my name and I heard that sweet, velvet voice.

I wanted to go to him, throw my arms around him and not let go. I tried to move but my feet felt like they were bolted to the floor. I reached a hand out to him and he knew what I wanted. He was out of his seat in a flash and, before I could blink, I was in his arms.

"Bella," he whispered my name so only I could hear. The combination of his voice and the feel of his breath on my ear caused my body to heat up to a dangerous level. Before I could completely lose myself in his embrace, he let me go and took a step back.

"Edward, what…" I cleared my head so I could speak to him coherently. "What are you doing here?"

His brilliant smile spread across his face. "I can't believe you remember me."

"Are you kidding me?" I had to laugh at that. How could he think I _could_ forget him? "How… I mean why are you here? Wait, no… that didn't come out right." I felt the heat of my blush hit my cheeks.

He chuckled, "It okay, Bella. I understand. Believe me, I understand. We just moved here." He grabbed my hand and I remembered the heat of his touch that I felt so long ago. "Please sit and let me explain."

I allowed him to guide me to the table and I took a seat next him. I sat and listened as he told me how he ended up here.

"The first time I saw you we were here because my dad had an interview for a position at the hospital. Emmett and I came along so we could check out the schools in the city to see which one we wanted to go to if he was offered the position."

I thought it was cute that he was still smiling as he explained, like he was so happy to see me. He said he couldn't believe that I remembered him but really it was the other way around. I couldn't figure out why he would remember me. I thought he would put the crazy stranger who cried all over him out of his mind completely. With the greeting he gave me, I guessed I was wrong.

I heard Alice clear her throat and she brought me back to the room that I had forgotten all about. I looked around the table and I saw Alice literally trying to hold herself in her seat. The excitement she felt was visible to anyone who would look at her. Jasper just had a smile on his face. Rosalie was completely consumed in her conversation with Edward's brother. Next to her, Collin sat with his hands in his lap and he looked like he was going to be sick. The look on his face was a mixture of jealousy, anger and hurt. His girlfriend was completely ignoring him while she was totally involved in a personal conversation with someone else. I felt his pain because I had been there. I was just about to say something to Rose when we were interrupted.

"Edward, I wondered where you were." Jessica was at our table speaking to Edward like she knew him; like he was supposed to be waiting for her.

And then it clicked. Jessica spent the hour in class talking about the new kid. It never crossed my mind when she talked about his green eyes. He was the one. She was talking about him and her being…_together_. All the air left my lungs and I couldn't breathe.

"Hey Jessica."

He spoke to her like they were old friends. Well I guess, according to her, they already were. My eyes lost focus and I didn't hear another word as I retreated completely within myself. My body started to shake and I was barely holding back the tears that wanted to fall. Edward was here. His presence answering every prayer I made since my birthday. Back then, I wished that I could see his beautiful green eyes every day. Now it was like someone was mocking me with that wish. Yeah I would get to see him every day but I would have to see him with Jessica.

The sounds that weren't there a minute ago started rushing back to me. I heard Alice calling me, asking me if I was okay. I looked at her but I wasn't really seeing her. I looked around and everyone was staring at me wondering what was wrong with me. My gaze fell on Edward and my heart broke. I had to get away.

Without taking my eyes off him I forced the words out. "I… I... gotta go." I jumped out of my chair to make my escape.

"Bella wait," he called after me but the sound of his voice pushed me to move faster. I was nearly running by the time I reached the doors. I flew through the opening and ran right into Sam. He caught me and I fought to get him away from me.

"Let me go, Sam!" I sobbed. I just wanted to run away.

"Bella, what's wrong?" He was concerned.

"Nothing. I'll always be nothing. Just don't worry about it." He let me go and I ran to the only place I could be alone for the rest of the day.

* * *

**Follow me on twitter for teasers: mizzdee_FF**


	17. Letting Go

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, musical content, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**I can't say thanks enough to my beta and great friend andromida1964 who, again, caught all the words I didn't write and was able to get this done and back to me in just a few hours. And to my WC ladies who encourage me through the night. You ladies ROCK!**

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**BPOV**

Running had always been a problem for me but I had to do it. I couldn't get away from the school…from him…fast enough. I fell twice on the way because, at times, the tears were so heavy that I couldn't see the ground in front of me. I passed through the gate and I was thankful to be close. When I reached that familiar patch of ground, I fell completely out of breath. My heart was slamming into my chest and my body was shaking.

"Mom." No other words would come. I wanted to tell her but I was having so much trouble speaking. I wrapped my arms around my chest trying to hold myself together.

_Stop it Bella. This is stupid. He was never yours so why are you crying?_

I composed myself enough to try again. "Mom, he's here. Edward is here. I've dreamed about him for so long and he's actually here. You remember him, don't you? I told you about him before."

I had to wipe the tears that were leaving their trails down my face.

"He remembered me and he seemed so happy to see me. It was like he had been thinking about me too. But mom, he's not who I wanted him to be."

I wanted to say more but Jessica's face popped into my mind. The old feeling of not being good enough came back to me and there was no chance of me holding back the tears now. The boy in my dreams became a reality and he hurt me without even knowing he did it.

I was lost in my thoughts when I felt a set of arms circle my chest. I jumped and pushed myself away to see who was here. Jacob laid his hand on my cheek and I saw nothing but concern in his face.

"Bella, please tell me what happened. Sam told me you ran out in tears. Talk to me, doll."

"How did you find me here?"

"Bella, you come here every time you're upset. I've been around you too long not to know where you would be."

He sat on the ground next to me and ran his hand over my back. He didn't say anything. He was just there for comfort and it felt really good to have him there. Unfortunately, the feeling didn't last long before the guilt of thinking about Edward ran though me and I started to cry. I was in his arms in a second, listening to him tell me everything was okay.

"It's not okay, Jake. I'm stupid."

"You're not stupid, Bella. What happened? Sam told me what you said but it doesn't make sense." He turned my face to look at him. "Why Bella? Why do you think you're nothing?"

I cried in his arms unable to answer. I thought about the only two people I cared about and I saw Jacob with Leah and then I saw Edward with Jessica. My heart pounded and I fought to get away from him.

"Get away from me. You didn't want me either," I screamed at him as I felt my old insecurities coming back.

I jumped off his lap and ran away from him. Of course he was faster than me so he caught me right away. He had my hands in his grasp and asked, "What are you talking about? Who doesn't want you?"

"Neither of you want me. Come on Jake, you can't lie to me. You think I didn't hear the girl that was at your house on New Year's Eve." His grip around my wrists loosened and I pulled my hands free and pushed against his chest to get him away from me. "I heard her but I didn't care because I just wanted to talk to you."

"What girl?" He sounded like he had no clue what I was talking about but I wasn't buying the act. "And why do you keep talking about someone else."

"What girl?" I yelled the words back in his face. "Are you gonna try to play dumb with me? I heard her laughing when you finally got your phone back from her. I know you were talking to her when you had the phone covered before you went in your room to talk. I'm not as naïve as you think I am, Jake. You've done enough to me that I know better."

"Ahh," he growled and took a step back from me. "Look, I know I've screwed up…a lot. I know it's going to take a lot for you to trust me but Bella please just listen to me when I say, I'm not doing anything wrong. When you will you believe me?"

The frustration in his face gave way to sorrow as he stepped back to me and grabbed my hands. He bent down so we were at the same eye level and he spoke to me with conviction. "Bella, right now, at this moment you're the only one I want to be with. I hope you see that."

"But the…" I started to say but he knew what I was thinking.

"Bella, that was Rachel." His defended himself calmly. "She came down to spend the holiday week with us. She was making fun of me that night because I kept checking all the clocks in the house to make sure I didn't miss your call. I wanted to talk to you so bad that I think I kinda looked like Alice when she gets overly excited about something."

That image had me laughing. It would have been pretty funny to see Jacob jumping up and down in the middle of his living room just waiting for the phone to ring. With the picture that formed itself in my head, no wonder Rachel was laughing.

I felt lighter all of a sudden and I was thankful to have Jacob there with me right now. Feeling better, I decided I could tease him a bit. "Yeah, but I bet you didn't look as cute as she does when she's bouncing around."

He wrapped me in his arms and brought his lips to my ear. "No way, beautiful. I looked better."

I tried to slap him for the silly comment but he just grabbed my hands and held them behind my back while he kissed me. It was light and soft and, unfortunately, nothing I would lose my breath over but Jacob somehow knew that this was the type of thing I needed right now.

As we pulled away from each other I whispered, "I love you, Jake. Thank you for coming to find me."

"I'll do anything for you, doll." He looked at his cell phone and then back to me. "I'll even make sure you get back in time for Mr. Collins' class so you don't mess up your internship."

He gave me that grin that showed his innocent side and I couldn't help but smile. I was glad I had someone so sweet to watch over me and make sure I was always okay.

* * *

I was able to make it through the afternoon without having to see Alice or Rosalie. That didn't mean they didn't try to wear down my battery with all their text messages. I just gave them the shortest answer possible; Jacob helped me through and I was okay.

It took a massive effort on my part not to think of Edward during the last hour of the day. I tried to ignore the constant tremble in my body that came from knowing he was somewhere in the same building with me and I could run into him if I wasn't careful. From the second Jacob and I got back to the school, I was on alert and peeking around every corner to make sure I wouldn't be surprised. I didn't know if I could keep myself together if I ran into him again.

I walked into journalism and took a seat at the back of the room. I didn't know what to expect from this semester and I knew I wasn't going to have Angela with me this time. She had already told me that once was enough for her. Jasper was taking a creative writing class this term because journalism just wasn't his thing. I was going to be alone.

Two minutes before the bell rang, I watched Sam walk through the door and a smile crossed my face. He came to sit next to me and he reached out to grab my hand. He crouched down next to me to talk.

"You okay, Bells?"

I squeezed his hand. "Yeah Sam, I'm okay." He started to let me go but I held on. "Thank you for sending Jake to come find me. He really helped."

"I didn't send him, Bells. As soon as heard what happened, he didn't hesitate. He took off after you all on his own." He squeezed my hand this time before letting go to settle in his seat.

The class started and Mr. Collins was back to his old self again; the no nonsense type of man who ran this class as much like a real newsroom as he could. He mentioned that there were two students who were going to have their final stories published in the January newspaper. He wouldn't say who though. We just had to wait until the paper was published in two weeks. After all the praise I had received from him over the past month, I hoped it was mine but I wasn't going to hold my breath.

The class passed quickly and before I knew it the day was over. There was no swim practice today so it was time to head home…back to my imprisonment. I wasn't looking forward to it since I got used to being around people again. I hoped that Charlie would let me off the hook soon. I don't know how much of this I was going to be able to take now that school started again.

I was thinking about the homework I had to get done while I was walking to my locker to collect my things. I turned the corner and took a few steps when I saw Edward standing there. The crushing pain was there again but I wasn't going to let him know how much just seeing him now was hurting me.

As I moved closer, the pain was starting to mix with a little bit of anger. I couldn't explain where the feeling was coming from but that anger gave me the strength to walk past him to open my locker.

"Hey Bella," he said as I passed.

I didn't say anything back. I didn't trust myself to speak to him yet. I was also trying to identify the source of the anger I was feeling. I grabbed the three books I would need for the night and stuffed them in my bag. I took a steadying breath as I closed my locker. I turned and walked right into his chest. I bounced back a step and mumbled an apology. I didn't even want to look at him.

"It's okay. Bella listen, I…"

"Goodbye Edward."

I took a step around him and left him standing there. It was hard enough two weeks ago to say those two words to just the memory of him. To say them out loud to his face almost killed me. The further away from him I got, the harder it was to breathe. The pain was coming back and the anger was taking a backseat for now.

Once I made it home, I started dinner and went to my room to get my homework done while it was cooking. I had my books in front of me but I couldn't concentrate on the work I needed to get done. I couldn't get Jessica's words out of my mind. An image of Edward kissing her played over and over in my head. I shook my head as hard as I could to try to get it to stop. As each picture played in my mind, my anger towards him started to build. The source of that anger hit me like a ton of bricks.

It was obvious by the way he treated me when he saw me today that he had been thinking about me when he left here. He knew then that it was a very real possibility that he was coming back. The feel of his arms around me, him whispering my name in my ear the way he did made it seem like he cared but how could that be if the minute he got to town he ended up with Jessica.

I thought back to that night I thought I saw him and now, after what he told me, I was sure it was him. He was here and saw me two weeks ago. He knew he was going to see me at school. Why would he hook up with the first slut he could find if he cared about me even a little bit? Why wouldn't he just wait to see me and talk to me?

_Forget it. I don't care. I have Jacob and I know he cares about me. He proved it today when he came after me. Jacob came…Edward didn't. I know who cares and who doesn't._

I decided it was time to put Edward out of my mind for good. If he could be the type of person who would be with someone like Jessica, then he wasn't someone I wanted anything to do with.

* * *

"Isabella Marie Swan!"

I heard my dad yell my name as the front door slammed shut. He hadn't talked to me much in the past two weeks so the yelling freaked me out a little. I dropped the plate I was carrying to the table as I got ready for dinner and it crashed into pieces on the kitchen floor. I had broken so many dishes in this kitchen over the years that the dustpan and broom were within easy reach and I hardly had to move my feet. I began to sweep the floor around me so I could take a step without spreading the pieces around.

My dad was in the doorway watching me sweep the floor not attempting a step into the kitchen. He started in on me right away. "What makes you think you can go against my rules, Bella?"

I stopped sweeping to look at him. "What are you talking about?" I was confused.

"I gave you that phone back so you could use it to call me if you had an emergency not to send text messages to your damn friends all day."

I forgot he was going to be checking my phone records today. I didn't think about it when the girls were sending all those messages. I was just about to apologize but he wasn't done.

"And what the hell do you think you're doing ditching two classes! Would you like to explain that one to me?" His face was turning an angry red color as his temper boiled over.

His words brought the picture of Edward and Jessica to the forefront of my mind. I felt the misery hit me and I dropped my head while I spoke. "I'm sorry, dad. Something happened and..."

He cut me off. "Save it Bella. I don't want to hear you try to come up with a lie. You know you can't do it so save us both the trouble."

"But dad," I tried again.

"I'm not as stupid as you seem to think I am. I know which classes you missed and I know who was keeping you company."

Of course, Billy was going to tell him that Jacob missed his classes too. Those two were sticking together when it came to punishing Jacob and me. They were doing everything they could to keep us apart. They each knew exactly what they interrupted that night but neither one would actually come out and say it.

Knowing my dad as well as I did, I knew that he was mainly upset because he believed my choice was a result of something he did wrong as a parent. He wouldn't admit that fact but it was obvious with the number of visits he had made to mom's grave in the past two weeks. He didn't go there very often during the year. His main visits were always on her birthday and their anniversary. If he visited more often than that it was because he was having problems with me that he didn't know how to face.

I started to feel guilty. What happened today had nothing to do with him and nothing to do with Jacob. I would have missed those classes no matter what. I probably would have missed them all if Jacob hadn't come to find me. He was the one to sit and listen to me. He was the one who gave me comfort today and helped me through my problems. He was the one to get me back in time for Mr. Collins' class so I wouldn't jeopardize my internship.

"Stop it, dad. Leave Jacob alone," I said with more force than I had ever used with him before. It surprised him but kept him quiet long enough for me to keep speaking. "Jacob had nothing to do with me missing those classes. I left school all on my own. He didn't even know I left."

I took a couple of breaths to calm myself down. He was angry and I didn't need to make it worse. I made the decision to take him up on his offer from a few months ago to talk to him about my problems.

"Dad, I don't want to make excuses." I turned back to the counter so I could grab another plate and serve his dinner. Without looking at him, I said, "I know you're upset and you have good reason." With a quiet, desperate voice, I asked, "Remember when you said I could come to you about anything?"

I heard the chair move behind me as he pulled it out and sat down at the table. I didn't want to move until he answered me.

"Yes Bella." I heard the reservation in his voice. "And I meant it."

I steeled myself for the conversation that would probably be awkward for both of us. "I would really like to talk and tell you what really happened and why?"

I turned with his plate in my hand and I saw the beads of sweat on his forehead and he looked like he was going to be sick. I was sure he was dreading 'the talk' and that helped a little because this was nowhere close to that. I put the plate and his beer in front of him and sat down to eat.

"Dad, relax. This isn't anything bad." That didn't seem to help so I tried again. "This _is_ about a boy but it's not what you think. Will you listen with an open mind because I truly need advice?"

"I'll do my best, Bells." He was still apprehensive.

"Dad, I need to tell you about Edward."

* * *

I woke up the next morning feeling a little better. I had explained everything to my dad and he was surprisingly cool about all of it. I was able to get it all off my chest when I talked to my mom but she couldn't talk back to help me see things the way I needed to. My dad was very level headed and looked at things from all sides before offering an opinion. That must be the cop in him…very methodical.

I was glad I told him though because he just confirmed what I already knew. I needed to forget all about Edward and give Jacob my whole heart. He was hesitant to accept Jacob that way with everything we had been through already but he said as long as I was in a relationship with him I needed to honor that. He also told me that if Edward liked Jessica then I couldn't stand in their way. It would be wrong of me to push myself on him and be the cause of any problems that were to come between them.

I already knew that of course but I needed to hear it from a higher authority. My dad held romantic relationships in such high regard and really hated to see anyone intentionally ruin a love between two people. It was because of this that I would be taking his advice to heart and letting go of any feelings I had for Edward Cullen.

My musings were interrupted by the soft knock on the door. "Hey Bells, you decent?"

That made me laugh. "Sure dad, come in."

He walked slowly into my room and leaned against the wall by my vanity table where I was getting ready for school. He was fidgeting, which he only did when he had something important to say, but didn't know how.

"Just spit out, dad."

"Bella, you were honest with me last night. I've decided to give you the same courtesy."

I didn't know what that meant so I just sat and waited for him to say something that made sense.

"Bells, I know I've been pretty hard on you for the past couple of weeks."

_Boy, there was an understatement._

"I was hurt and angry and a little bit scared that you and Jake went against my rules the way you did. And yesterday, I flew off the handle without hearing your side of things first. I want to give you the benefit of the doubt."

"Dad, I'm…"

"Let me finish. I don't like what you did and I don't ever want you to disrespect me like that again. You're a good kid Bella and I trust you wholeheartedly to make the right decisions in life. I just want to make sure you're thinking things through before taking action."

"I am, dad." I promised him.

"I'm gonna hold you to that." He put my cell phone on my vanity. "You can have this back with a promise that I won't check your records any more than necessary. I'm also going to end your punishment with a promise from you that you will not, and I mean absolutely _will not_, allow yourself to be in this house alone with Jake again. Can you do that?"

I could swear the smile on my face brightened the room. "Yes dad. I'm promise."

"Great, now get ready for school." He shot me his 'I knew you'd see it my way' look. He pushed off the wall and walked out, shutting the door behind him.

I rushed to grab my phone and sent my first text message in weeks.

**Charlie ungrounded me. Fast food & movies Friday…B**

I got four responses back that said they were all in. The fifth one was a little different.

**I'm there doll. Can't wait to hold you in my arms. I love you…J**

I felt the blush heat my face as my smile got wider at the thought. I turned back to the mirror and finished getting ready for school.

* * *

School was going to be tough today. I had a hard enough time navigating the halls while trying to avoid Edward yesterday and that was only for an hour. Now I had the whole day to worry about and it wasn't going to be easy.

I spent my morning peaking around corners and lurking in hallways to make sure we never crossed paths. It was ridiculous and I was almost late to every class. I almost gagged when I got to my science class where Jessica was going on and on again about her new conquest. I really didn't want to hear it again.

I asked Mr. Murphy if I could put my headphones on to help me concentrate on my lab but he refused. So I was stuck listening to the skank twins talk about Edward like he was a piece of meat. I had to keep reminding myself to stay out of it and not punch Jessica in the face like I wanted to.

A small part of me said that Edward was a big boy and if he wanted to date the slut then that was his business and not mine. Another equally small part wanted to grab his hair and beat his head against the wall until he stopped being so stupid. The rest of me was dying inside because he wanted her and not me.

If sex was that important to him then he could keep her. After what I had to go through two weeks ago, there was no way I was going there again anytime soon. Sure what we did felt good but the anxiety of it all and having to worry about Charlie was just too much for me.

My salvation came with the ringing of the bell and I ran from that room as fast as I could. I was ready to just sit and relax and talk to the girls. I didn't want to think about anything else. Those plans were ruined though as I walked with my lunch toward our normal table.

Just like yesterday there were two more people occupying the empty seats. I stopped short and debated my options. I could either sit at that table and pretend that my heart wasn't breaking for the boy who now sat with my friends or I could silently make my way out of this room and eat my lunch alone.

I heard Alice call my name and everyone at the table turned their head to look at me. I scanned each face for just a second before my eyes landed on Edward. He smiled at me and I felt that anger again. I couldn't stop myself from giving him one of those 'if looks could kill' faces.

I turned abruptly and walked out of the cafeteria. I chose option number two.

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**Thanks again for reading. Don't forget to take a minute to let me know what you're thinking.**

**Next week: Edward will get his say.**


	18. Misunderstandings

Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.

All my love and thanks go out to my pre-reader, Loulabelle, and my beta, AgoodWITCH. Your comments and hard work making this look all pretty for everyone is so greatly appreciated. Also, thanks to my WC ladies who give me all the encouragement I could ask for. I love you girls.

**Also, don't forget the Share Your Inspiration anonymous one-shot contest is still on and waiting for you to show us what inspires you. Entries will be accepted through Jan 14th.** **Check out the contest page at www .fanfiction. net/u/2580394 and follow on twitter (at)SYIanonOSC**

**A/N: I know it's been a very, very long time since I updated this story and I'm so sorry for that. I could not get Edward to talk to me and nothing was working out the way I planned. I'm on a roll now and I'm working hard to keep it up so the updates will be more regular.**

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**EPOV**

The nervous feeling I had now was like nothing I had ever felt before, as I got ready for my first day in my new school, because today was the day I could finally see Bella again. I had been going crazy thinking about her over the past two weeks. I just hoped I could contain myself once I saw her again.

Once I was dressed, I checked myself out in the mirror to make sure I looked okay, but frowned when I saw my hair because that shit never sat right. Knowing there was nothing I could do about it, I turned and put my stuff in my bag to take downstairs and then I turned back to the mirror again and the first thing I noticed was my hand, which had automatically moved its way into my mess of hair. It was an unconscious thing and it always made it look like I never combed my hair.

I went to the closet to put on my shoes and then walked back to the mirror to make sure everything was right. I was wearing a white button down shirt with a black sweater, a pair of black jeans and my black and white Jordan's. It was simple and I hoped Bella liked it. I knew I wasn't going to pursue her because I wanted to be respectful of her choice to be with that other guy, but I wanted to look good enough so she would notice me.

"God, could you act more like a girl than you are right now?" Emmett's voice and hysterical laughter made me jump.

"Get the fuck out of my room, asshole." I slammed the door on him but it only made him laugh harder.

"Come on, lover boy. Mom said its time for breakfast."

The sound of his laughter faded away as he made his way downstairs. I wiped away the sweat that had begun to build up on my palms and grabbed my stuff to head downstairs. I dropped everything by the front door and went into the kitchen to see my mom serving up a hot, steaming bowl of her creamy maple and brown sugar oatmeal.

"Mom, that smells great." I kissed her on the cheek as she handed me a bowl.

I grabbed a spoon and headed to the table. I wanted to hurry so we could get out of here and get to school. I was shoveling my food in like this was the first meal I had eaten in years.

"What's the rush, lover boy?" Emmett was still laughing at me.

"Stop calling me that." I didn't have the patience for him today.

"Am I lying?"

"I'm not in love, Em. I just want to get school." I stared into my bowl like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"Give me a break, Ed. You're already so in love with this girl and you don't even know her yet."

"Look who's talking? All you can do is talk about the blonde girl even though you know she has a boyfriend." I tried to steer the conversation from me.

"Damn right. I told you a hundred times, I'm gonna be with that girl no matter what. When are you going to admit that you want your girl just as much? You just need to go after her." His tone was serious when he spoke the last sentence.

I exhaled. The fact that Bella had a boyfriend was a huge problem that was going to eat away at me because, unlike Emmett, I wouldn't do that to her. "And I've told you just as many times that I can't. I will not go after her while she has a boyfriend. It's not fair to her."

I didn't want to continue this conversation so I got up and rinsed my dishes, placed them in the dishwasher and went to brush my teeth so we could leave. Walking back downstairs, my anxiety started to pick up again as I got near the front door. I pulled on my coat, hat and gloves and waited for Emmett to grab his keys so we could go.

Having never driven in snow before, Emmett slowly and carefully backed out into the street. As he put the car into drive and stepped on the gas, I saw Jessica run from her doorway, heading straight toward us. Emmett waited for her and I rolled down my window to see what she wanted.

"Hi guys, I'm so glad I caught you." Her breathing was a little ragged from her run.

"What's up, Jess?" Emmett asked.

"I missed my bus. Could you guys give me a ride to school?"

"Sure get in," I told her as Emmett pushed the button to unlock the back door.

"Can you give me a second to grab my stuff?"

We both told her okay and she took off running back into the house. She came running out with her backpack in her hand and she threw it in the backseat before climbing in. We pulled into the parking lot and my anxiety peaked forcing me to stay locked in the car until I calmed down enough to walk through those doors. Bella was here somewhere and I couldn't wait until I saw her again. With one last, long exhaled breath, I got out of the car and walked toward the school.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~

"Hey Cullen boys, it's about damn time you got here."

We both turned away from my open locker to find Jasper standing right behind us. We told him we were coming and we talked to him once in the last couple of weeks but it was good to have our friend standing in front of us.

"What's up, pretty boy? Are you here to be our escort?" Emmett wiggled his eyebrows and laughed.

"What classes do you have?" Jasper just ignored him. A week in California and he already learned how to deal with Emmett. We ran down our list of classes and he was in a couple of them and Emmett and I had one together.

"Hey Emmett, why are you taking freshman classes? Aren't you older than us?" Jasper was confused and I didn't blame him. We were so used to everyone back home knowing about it that we didn't think about it anymore.

"Oh well, I got pneumonia really bad when I was kid and had to retake a year. It's no big deal. It just means I'm the only freshman with a car."

"Nice," Jasper nodded and took a minute to direct us to our first period classes and we headed out to begin our day. I couldn't concentrate on anything the teachers were saying all morning. I was dying to see Bella. I was happy to see that the entire freshman class had lunch at the same time because that meant I could talk to her then.

Jasper met us at my locker right before lunch and told us to sit with them. It was exactly what I was hoping for because Bella was best friends with Jasper's girlfriend and I assumed they all sat together during lunch. We walked into the cafeteria, got our food and sat down a few minutes before the girls showed up.

"Rose… Alice, this is Emmett and Edward Cullen. I told you about them before, remember?" Both of their eyes popped open as Jasper introduced us. "They just moved to town."

"So, you're Edward. It's nice to _finally_ meet you." Jasper's girlfriend said.

I thought about that for a second because her sentence didn't make sense, but I let it go. Alice took her place next to Jasper and Rose sat by Emmett but a couple of seconds later, a boy came over and kissed Rose on the cheek and sat down. Her boyfriend showing up didn't faze Emmett one bit. He just continued his conversation with her like nothing happened. I shook my head in disbelief at his behavior, wishing again that I could be a little more like him.

"Edward."

I heard the soft voice come from behind me. I turned as fast as I could and laid my eyes on the beautiful girl I had been waiting to see for the past three and a half months.

"Bella." Without thinking, I bolted from my chair and wrapped her in my arms.

"Bella," I whispered her name as a rush of emotions hit me. It felt so good to hold her again. I didn't expect it to feel like this. That strange electricity I felt when I held her that first time was back and I didn't want to let her go. I breathed in the smell of her hair and my memory didn't even come close to the real thing. Before I got too comfortable with her in my arms, I remembered she had a boyfriend. I had to let go. I took a step back and instantly regretted the need to put distance between us.

"Edward, what… what are you doing here?" My heartbeat sped up as I processed her words. This beautiful girl remembered me after all this time.

_Wait, is that what Alice meant about finally meeting me?_ _Did it mean she had been thinking about me too?_

"I can't believe you remember me."

"Are you kidding me? How… I mean why are you here?"

A frown took over my face as her words punched me in the gut. Did it mean she didn't want me here?

"Wait, no… that didn't come out right." She actually blushed and I breathed a little easier with relief. She seemed to be just as nervous as I was. Maybe I did have a chance with her.

"It okay, Bella. I understand. Believe me, I understand. We just moved here. Please sit and let me explain." I grabbed her hand just so I could touch her again and feel that electricity one more time. I pulled her to the table so I could explain everything to her and she followed me willingly.

"The first time I saw you we were here because my dad had an interview for a position at the hospital. Emmett and I came along so we could check out the schools in the city to see which one we wanted to go to if he was offered the position."

Through my whole explanation, I didn't want to take my eyes off her face and I couldn't bring myself to let go of her hand. The guilt, however, was building in me as I thought about how her boyfriend would react to me holding her hand like this. Bella jumped a little and broke our connection as she started looking around the table. When she stopped and her face fell, I looked to see what drew her attention.

Following her gaze, I noticed she was looking at Rose's boyfriend. He was visibly upset and trying to act like Emmett talking to his girl wasn't bothering him but it wasn't working. I felt sorry for him and was even more upset with Emmett for following through on his plan. I didn't know anything about him, but he looked like a good kid and I'm sure he didn't do anything to deserve this. After school, I was going to talk to Emmett and try again to get him to back off. With that realization, I let go of Bella's hand because, right now, I was doing the same thing Emmett was.

"Edward, I wondered where you were."

I glanced over my shoulder and Jessica was standing behind me. Her interruption was well timed because I needed to take a breath and find the strength that Bella's presence seemed to be taking away.

"Hey Jessica."

"I was going to see if you wanted to sit with us." She looked around the table at everyone.

"Sorry, Jessica. I…"

I was going to say more but when I looked back at Bella, the pained expression on her face had me at a loss for words. Her face had gone pale and I had seen that broken look before during the soccer game when I found her crying but I couldn't for the life of me figure out what happened to put that look on her face now. Two seconds ago, she was happy, with excitement in her eyes as we sat here talking and laughing about what brought me here, but now that spark was gone.

_What the hell did I miss?_

"I… I... gotta go."

_No!_

"Bella wait," I called after her as she ran away from me again.

The first time I came here she ran from me and she was doing it again but this time I wasn't going to let her get away. I jumped out of my chair to follow her but Jessica stood in my way.

"Edward, I wanted to check…"

I barely heard her. My attention was solely focused on Bella as I watched her make a quick escape.

"Jessica, can this wait?"

Bella ran out the door but, if I hurried, I could catch her. Looking at Jessica now, my eyes begged her to let me leave.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Thanks." I touched her shoulder and took off after Bella.

I ran to the door she ran through, ignoring all the stares and laughing along the way. The only thing that meant anything to me right now was getting to Bella and finding out what happened to her. I burst through the door but only a few people were standing around. I ran to the edge of the building and scanned the open space but there was no sign of her. Not knowing this school, this town or anyone in it, there was no way for me to find her. I was just about to head back into the school when a conversation about her caught my interest.

"Hey Sam, have you seen Bella?"

"Yeah and she didn't look so good."

I didn't turn around because I didn't want them to know I was listening so I got on one knee and pretended to tie my shoe.

"What happened?" The owner of the voice sounded angry.

"I don't know what was wrong with her. She was crying and mumbling something about being nothing and then she took off."

"How long ago?"

"A few minutes maybe. She wasn't making any sense but whatever she was talking about seemed to hurt her a lot."

His words bothered me. I still didn't understand how she could go from happy to sad that fast and what exactly had changed her mood. Since I knew I couldn't tie my shoe forever, I stood up and attempted to make my way inside but my curiosity got the better of me and I had to see who was behind me.

"I have to go get her. I'll be back later."

As I turned my head, I watched her boyfriend turn and run towards the open space. He obviously knew where to find her. There was no way I could go after her because he was the only one privileged enough to be able to comfort her now. Bella may have remembered me but she had him; she didn't need me anymore.

The depression had been pressing on me for the last few hours but I felt like I was offered a reprieve when I walked into my last class of the day and saw Rose sitting there. Hopefully she could tell me what happened with Bella and why she was so upset. After meeting with the teacher, I stopped at Rose's desk before going to my own and leaned down so we could talk.

"Hi Rose, I know you don't know me but I really need… I mean… can you please help me?"

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We rushed through the hallways so I could get to Bella's locker before she did. I hadn't seen her since she ran out of the cafeteria and I needed to talk to her and make sure she was okay. Rose told me she got a text message from her that said she was fine but I needed to see it for myself. I stood there bouncing from the nerves and I was pretty sure I looked like Emmett did when he got excited about something.

Rose told me which direction she would come from so I made sure to be looking that way. Sure enough, five minutes after I got here, Bella walked around the corner with her head down, not really paying attention to where she was going. When she looked up I still saw that sadness in her eyes but, like someone flipped a switch, the sadness turned to what looked like determination. She stood up straighter and walked past me without a word.

"Hey Bella." It was a pathetic attempt to talk to her but I didn't know what else to say.

I took a step closer to her as she shoved her books into her bag. I reached out my hand to touch her shoulder but pulled it back again, not knowing if I should. I wanted to say something, anything to get her to turn around and talk to me. Reaching out for her again, I didn't know if I could touch her so I hesitated and pulled my hand back one more time. As my hand came back this time, she turned and walked right into me.

"I'm sorry." She didn't even look at me when she said it.

"It's okay." I had to say something. She was going out of her way to ignore me and I just couldn't accept that. I had to find out what was upsetting her and find a way to fix it. "Bella listen, I…"

"Goodbye, Edward."

She cut me off with those two words and I froze while I watched her walk around me to leave. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. Again, she was running, she was hurting but this time she wouldn't talk to me and I didn't know why.

_Say something! Go after her! Do something!_

All the yelling in my head couldn't make my feet move, couldn't make words come out of my mouth as I watched my brown-haired beauty, the one girl I had been waiting forever to see, walk away from me.

"Rose told me I would find you here."

Jasper walked into my line of sight waving his hand in front of my face to get my attention. I focused on him, surprised because I didn't see or hear him come up to me. Then another voice broke into my consciousness.

"Edward," Jessica smiled as I looked toward her voice. "Can I have a ride back home?"

"Go catch your bus, Jessica." Jasper answered before me.

She looked to Jasper with an angry look on her face and then looked to me, anticipating a different answer. I needed to find out what was going on so she was going to have to find her own way home.

"Um… sorry Jessica. I'm not going home yet. You'll have to go catch your bus."

"I can wait." Her face showed her eagerness to do so but I wasn't going to make her wait for me.

I answered as nice as I could, "Jessica, please go home. I need to do some things here before I leave. I'll see you when I get home."

Her angry stomp carried her away from me but I didn't care at the moment. I needed answers and Jasper was going to give them to me. I turned my attention back to him ready to ask about Bella, but he spoke up first.

"Dude, you have problems." He shook his head and laughed.

I completely ignored him. "Jasper, I need to know if Bella is okay. Did Rose or Alice say anything about her? Why did she take off like that? Why won't she talk to me? Do you…"

"One question at a time, please," he laughed again. "Bella is fine. She's hurt and upset of course, but she'll be fine."

"What the hell does that even mean?" He didn't make sense.

"Dude, I have to know. What the hell are you doing with Jessica?"

"She lives next door to me. Why?"

"She isn't the type of person you want to be spending your time with." He laughed again, probably because I looked so confused. "I'm not one to talk about people, but that girl is one of the biggest sluts in school. She's hooked up with more guys than anyone can keep track of and she usually goes for the new guys first because they don't know any better."

I listened to what he said and it made sense now. The way she was during that New Year's Eve party. She practically threw herself at me. I, of course, didn't do much to stop her but, had I known, I wouldn't have even gone to the stupid party. I was upset because I just found out about Bella's boyfriend.

Oh shit! Bella thinks that I…

"Jasper, that's why Bella took off isn't it? She saw Jessica and thought…" I turned and my fist connected with the lockers behind me. "Fuck!" I was pissed. "After all this fucking time."

"Hey Edward, what's up?" Jasper was surprised by my actions.

"I've been waiting all this time to see her and now everything's all fucked up."

"Wait a minute. You mean you've been thinking about her too?"

"What? What do you mean 'too'?

"Rose and Alice have both told me more than once that Bella's been thinking about you. She even thought she saw you a couple of times but they both told her it was crazy so she let it go," he shrugged. "Now, I know about the one time but what about the second. When was that?"

I groaned as I thought about my luck. She _had_ been thinking of me for just as long as I was thinking about her and now it was all messed up because of a huge misunderstanding.

"The day I got here we were driving in from the airport and my dad stopped for gas. I saw her across the street and I wanted to go up to her then but she was with her boyfriend. I jumped into the car before she could see me or at least I thought I did."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? I would've hooked you up."

"She has a boyfriend. I'm not…" He cut me off.

"Jake?" he laughed. "Please, I would bet everything I own that you wouldn't have a problem where he's concerned."

"I'm not gonna break them up and have her hate me for it."

"Shit, he'd probably thank you for it," he said with his hand over his mouth to muffle the sound. It didn't work.

"What do you mean?"

"Man, everybody knows that Jake has this thing for another girl. He's dropped Bella like she was nothing so many times before, it's a wonder she even bothered getting together with him. If you ask me, he's only with her cause he wants to get some."

That crazy protective feeling came back and I wasn't going to let anyone talk about her that way. I pushed him against the locker and got right in his face. "_Do not_ fucking talk about her like that. Why the hell aren't you watching out for her? Aren't you supposed to be her friend?"

"Edward! Chill dude. What the fuck is your problem?" I felt Emmett's hands on my shoulders as he pulled me away from Jasper, restraining me because I was ready to go after him again for not keeping someone like that away from Bella.

Jasper's hand touched the back of his head where it hit the locker. "I wouldn't let anything happen to her, but you don't know how she is when it comes to Jake. That kid can do no wrong in her eyes."

That sentence totally took the fight out of me. I felt all the air leave my body as I let his words sink in. She obviously cared about him, she could even love him and because of that I would never try to come between them. If her feelings were strong enough that she could see past everything Jasper was telling me, she would truly hate me if I tried to take that away from her. That settled it; I could live with seeing her with another guy as long as I could have her in my life in some way so I would suffer in silence and just be her friend.

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**Thanks for sticking with me through this. I would really love to hear what you think, even if your upset with me for not being so nice to Edward right now.**


	19. Shattered Dreams

Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.

Thanks as always to Loulabelle for all of the input and great comments on my stories. I love you, babe.

Huge thanks to AgoodWITCH for the awesome beta work and, I can't say this enough, for saving me from the love/hate relationship that I seem to have with commas. You are the best ever, love.

I can't forget all my WC girls for all the encouragement. Ladies, you are the best. Love ya tons.

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**Chapter 19 – Shattered Dreams**

**EPOV**

It was a quiet ride home. I wasn't in any kind of mood to talk and Emmett, thankfully, wasn't pushing me to do so like he always did when I had a problem. I was trying to wrap my head around the information Jasper had given me.

First there was Jessica. The sweet, funny and very pretty girl I met and have been spending my time with the past two weeks wasn't who I thought she was. According to Jasper, she had sex with anyone who crossed her path and I was apparently her newest target. How could I be so stupid? Since I only had one real girlfriend before, I didn't have much experience but I thought I knew girls well enough to know when I was being played, but I guess I didn't.

Second, there was Bella's boyfriend, Jake. Even without knowing him, I already knew I didn't like him. If I was being completely honest with myself, I probably wouldn't have liked him much anyway because he had what I wanted. Now I had a reason for my feelings toward him. He had hurt Bella in the past and, if Jasper's suspicions were true, he was going to hurt her again. It was bad enough that he cared about another girl but if he was just with her so he could… I didn't even want to think the words. How could he treat her like that?

Emmett's voice brought my mind back to the real world as he parked the car in the garage. "If it helps at all, I saw how she looked at you. I can tell that she likes you."

His fist connected with my arm in a soft punch. It's as close as Emmett would ever get to a hug, but it let me know that he understood where my head was right now. I watched as he slammed his car door and walked into the house. He always shocked me with his observations and this one shocked me even more because he seemed completely occupied with Rose to care about anything.

As soon as Rose's name popped into my head, I remembered the conversation I needed to have with Emmett. I jumped out of the car and followed him to his room. I could hear him in the closet and I dropped my bag to the floor so he would know I was here.

"What do you want, Edward?" His muffled voice called from the closet.

"Get out here. We need to talk." I closed his bedroom door behind me so my mom wouldn't hear this.

He leaned halfway out of the doorway and was about to say something but decided against it. He rolled his eyes and stepped into the room. "I know what you're here for but if it will make you feel better to say it, then just get it off your chest."

"Did you even care that Rose's boyfriend was sitting there listening to you today?"

"It's not like I was doing anything wrong. I was just trying to get to know the girl." He shrugged like it was no big deal.

"This is a big deal, Em. Did you even bother to look at him? I could see how much it bothered him but taking one look at you, he knew there was nothing he could do to stop it." A smile crept up on his face as he thought about that. "This is nothing to smile over. You're doing something you shouldn't be and someone's going to get hurt."

He raised his eyebrows. "You really think he's gonna try and fight me." The disbelief was plain in his voice.

"Please, you and I both know he's not that dumb. He's gotta know that he's no match for you. I'm talking emotionally, Emmett." I could feel the anger boiling up in me. "Look I know you don't give a damn about his feelings in all of this but don't you think you'll be hurting Rose on some level if you make her have to choose between you."

"Shit, I didn't think about it that way." His expression changed and it looked like he was finally thinking this through. Then it changed again and he was staring at me. "That's why you won't go after your girl? You think you'll hurt her if you do."

I'd already made myself clear on this point. I knew what he was doing and I wasn't letting him turn this on me. "This isn't about me, dumbass. This is about you and your fucked up plan to 'get the girl'. Use your head a little bit and think about who will be affected by your little game. If you want Rose, then the last thing you need to be doing is trying to hurt her or her boyfriend, even if it's not intentional. Why don't you try thinking about someone else for a fucking change?"

I grabbed my bag and stormed out of his room. I wanted to say more but I would have continued yelling and he would have tuned me out anyway. There was always tomorrow. I made it to my room and threw myself on the bed as I thought about how I was going to handle things tomorrow now that I knew about Jessica and Jake and what Bella thought of both of them. Jessica I could handle, but Jake would be a different story. I was going to keep my eye on him. There was no way I was going to let him hurt Bella if I could help it.

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Emmett and I were just about to leave for school when the knock at the door stopped us. I had a feeling I knew who it was so I opened the door to find out what she wanted. Sure enough, Jessica stood there smiling at me. Not wanting to be rude, I smiled back and stepped aside so she could come in.

"Morning." Her voice was light and bubbly.

"Hey Jess," Emmett answered with a grin. "You need a ride to school today."

I saw her eyes light up and I stifled the groan trying to force its way through my lips. I knew my brother did that on purpose just to get to me but I wasn't in a position to withdraw the offer since it was his car. My glare should have been enough to let him know that I wasn't happy about it.

"Sure." She grabbed me by the arm and pulled me toward the garage. "Let's go before we're late."

She wasn't even going to pretend this time that she missed her bus. I knew it had been her plan to get a ride when I noticed that she had her backpack already in hand.

"Yeah come on, Ed, let's go." His mocking voice matched hers and he knew it pissed me off.

He also knew that I would never say anything about it and risk hurting her feelings. So I let her drag me to the car and I opened the back door for her to let her in. Just before I opened my own door, I looked over at Emmett who was grinning like a two year old.

"Nothing like giving your _girlfriend_ a ride to school," he whispered and gave me his evil grin as he got in the car while was thinking about the ways I was going to get back at him for this.

The day passed just as it did yesterday…boring. I had already gone through most the assignments so far in my classes back home so I didn't need to pay too much attention, which was a good thing because my thoughts had been solely focused on Bella all morning. I hadn't seen her yet today and it wasn't for lack of trying. I stopped by her locker before school and she wasn't there. I didn't know where her classes were so I didn't know if we were in the same part of the school or not but that didn't stop me from searching for her in the halls between periods. There was never any sign of her and I was left disappointed every time.

My salvation came with the ringing of the bell and I ran from the room as fast as I could to make it to my locker and then the cafeteria where I would get to see her again. My anticipation was even higher than it was yesterday because this was more than me just wanting to see her; I needed to see her and we needed to talk.

I wasn't hungry so I grabbed a bottle of water and waited for everyone to show up. I couldn't decide if I wanted to talk to her at the table or if I wanted to get her alone so I could really open up to her and tell her everything that's been going on. Jasper and Rose showed up first and she started speaking as soon as she was in her seat.

"Jasper told me that he explained everything to you. Are you going to fix it?"

Her glare made me a little nervous and I swallowed hard before I answered. "I'm gonna try."

"Good. Please don't get me wrong, I like Jake and he's been good to her lately but I know he isn't the right one for her. With everything she's told me and what I've seen for the past few months, she can do so much better than him."

"You have no idea how right she is." Rose was silenced by Alice's appearance and she continued the conversation. "I've known Bella and Jake for a long time and he's hurt her more times than I care to count. She needs a good guy in her life." Her faced hardened and she looked me right in the eye. "I'm not saying you're the one because I don't know you, but I've never known Bella to be completely consumed with anyone before the way she is with you. You've been the only one to take her mind off of Jake and for that you'll have me fighting for you, but if you hurt her," she warned as her finger pointed right in my face, "I will be the worst enemy you have ever had."

I gulped. Alice may be tiny but she kind of scared me a little bit.

"Alright killer, sit down and let him breathe." Jasper's laugh broke the tension around the table as he grabbed Alice and sat her on his lap. After a few quick kisses, he let her go to sit in her own seat.

Emmett showed up and sat next to Rose. I tried to get his attention but he just ignored me and started up a conversation with her. Jasper looked at me and I looked back at him and I didn't know if it meant he approved or if he wanted me to tell Emmett to back off. I assumed that if he had a problem with it he would have said something to him but he let it go.

Rose's boyfriend was the last one to show up again and I gave Emmett a kick to the shin as he sat down. He looked at me and I glared at him and mouthed 'enough' to get him to stop but he didn't listen to me again. I was about to do it again when Alice's voice got my attention.

"Bella," she called and I turned to find her.

When I saw her face, I smiled. She looked beautiful again today and she happened to be standing in one of the rays of sunlight that was streaming through the windows. The sun accentuated her beauty and my smile widened as I stared, unable to breathe. She seemed happy as she looked at her friends and then her eyes landed on me and her expression completely changed.

My heart fell to the floor as Bella looked at me with so much hate filling her eyes. I didn't understand how I could have pissed her off so much in just one day. I wanted to go to her, pick her up so she couldn't run and carry her away so I could explain everything but, before I could make a single move, she turned and walked away from me…again.

"What was that about?" Emmett asked.

No one at the table had an answer for him and I could feel their eyes on me but I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Watching her walk away from me again brought the weight of a thousand boulders down on my chest and I fought with all the strength in my body to keep breathing.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Two weeks passed with no change. My plan to just be friends and have some part in her life had failed miserably. Bella still ignored me completely and avoided me at all costs. I would never see her in the halls between classes and during lunch she would grab her food and sit with some girl named Angela. If I tried to catch her after school, she would run right past me without a word on her way to the pool for swim practice.

Every day I would try and every day I would be left disappointed. Every day I would still get dressed in clothes that I thought made me look good, hoping that it would make her notice and finally talk to me and every day I was left standing alone watching her back as she walked away from me. I didn't know what else to do. So as I got ready to start a new week of torture, I checked myself out in the mirror again to make sure I looked good.

"Perfect." I exhaled as I spoke to my reflection again. "Today could be the day."

I said the same thing every morning, hoping for the one day that my words would be true. As I grabbed my bag and walked downstairs for breakfast, my mind flashed an image of me holding her in my arms and I felt a sharp pain in my chest. Whatever it was that pulled me to her wasn't letting go, making the pain worse with every day that passed. I knew I needed to find a way to make it stop, but I was coming up with nothing.

I tried to get a grip on my emotions before I walked in the kitchen and gave my mom a kiss on the cheek. I forced a smile on my face but I knew she didn't buy it when I saw her face turn curious. She touched my shoulder and was just about to say something when my dad wrapped his arms around her and pulled her away.

"Come here, beautiful." She laughed as he danced her around the kitchen. He finished with a dip and held her there to kiss her. My dad was quite the romantic and it always made me smile to see them express so much love for each other.

"Are you sure you should be doing that?" Emmett's laugh filled the room. "At your age, old man, you might drop her."

"Not a chance." He smiled and placed a kiss on her cheek.

Mom's face turned in Emmett's direction and she gave him a serious look. "Emmett, why can't you be more like your brother?" she asked as dad lifted her back up.

"Because I like being a man," Emmett joked.

Her quick hand struck the back of his head yet again. Sometimes I think he did it on purpose to see how far he could push her before he got hit. He should have known by now that anything said about me would earn him some kind of reaction from her. Not that I'm spoiled or treated different in any way because I had earned my fair share of slaps to the head, but mine were less frequent as I learned a long time ago that you never say anything against your brother, at least not when she can hear it.

We all sat down to eat and I could feel her eyes on me. She's my mom and she knew something was bothering me but I wasn't going to talk to her about it because guys didn't just run to mommy when they had a problem with girls. I had to handle this on my own. The morning passed quietly as we all finished up and my dad, Emmett and I got ready to leave for the day. The usual knock on the door came as we were pulling our coats on to leave and Emmett let Jessica in. He had decided to offer her a ride to school every day considering we lived next door to her and we were going to the same place anyway.

I didn't say much during the drive; Jessica didn't stop talking long enough to let anyone get a word in. We parked in the lot and Emmett and Jessica got out while I stayed behind not ready for a new day of pain to begin.

"Please let today be the day." I sent my wish to any higher power that would listen because I needed all the help I could get.

I met up with my brother and Jessica and we walked into the school. We would always split up when we got to the common area and head to our lockers but today I was stopped in my tracks when Jessica called my name. I turned to see what she wanted and she had a little smile on her face.

"Can you help me really quick?" she asked as she reached into her pocket.

"Sure."

"Will you put this on for me?" She handed me a small bracelet.

I took the small chain and she held out her wrist to me as I fumbled with the clasp. When I had it in place, she grabbed my hand and pulled slightly so she could give me a kiss on the cheek. I backed away from her and said goodbye so I could get to my locker in time for class but I was only able to take one step before I saw Bella standing there staring at me.

I smiled, hoping she was finally ready to talk to me and I took a step to close the distance between us. Her face went from what looked like confusion, to hurt, to murderously angry in a matter of seconds before she turned in the opposite direction and left me standing alone… again.

The rest of the week passed in the same torturous manner as the past two weeks. My mood was deteriorating fast and I found it harder each day to keep the smile on my face. Every time I would see Bella, she would take off in the other direction not giving me even the slightest chance to get close to her. I didn't understand why she wouldn't talk to me just so I could know what was going through her head and maybe make things right with her so we could at least be friends.

The only time I could really see her was during lunch and only from across the room. If I were ever lucky enough to catch her eye, I would get the same hateful glare that I saw every day since my second day here. It was that look in her eyes that made me look away every time and it was that look that made me decide to stop looking.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~

During lunch on Friday, Emmett, Jasper and I spent the time talking about the new practice schedule the coach put up for all players interested in getting ready for next season. We were able to talk freely without any interruptions because the girls didn't sit with us anymore. The separation came about a week and a half after Bella decided to sit at another table and the girls followed her. Emmett was mad at first because he didn't get to sit and talk to Rose anymore but Jasper, always being the calm one, just rolled with it.

When we finished eating, the three of us walked back to my locker to hang out for the last fifteen minutes before our next class. While we talked, we decided to plan a "guys" weekend and Jasper was going to come and hang out at our house. The snow was gone and it wasn't going to be too cold outside so we were able to get out and kick the ball around.

Leaving California had seriously reduced my practice time. I was used to being in the back yard on a daily basis taking shots, perfecting my moves and keeping my ball handling skills sharp but here I'd been stuck inside for a week and half and couldn't practice anything. I was just about to ask Jasper a question when Emmett's hand hit the locker like he needed to balance himself.

"What the…" Emmett turned around and I looked past him and saw Collin standing there looking like he wanted to hurt someone. "What the hell's your problem, kid?"

"Why don't you just go back where you came from?" Collin yelled at him. "Everything was fine before you got here!"

Emmett knew Collin was no threat to him physically so he stuck his hands in his pocket and relaxed when he spoke. "Look, I have no idea what you're talking about. I haven't done anything to you."

"Bullshit, you've been hitting on Rose from the day you got here. You just need to back the hell off!"

I had to give him credit, he didn't back down one bit. He stood proud and strong in front of Emmett and that's not an easy thing to do. Emmett was my brother and I still got nervous around him sometimes. His temper wasn't anything to fuck with.

"Or what, kid?" Emmett's expression was serious; at least he had the decency to not laugh in the poor kid's face.

I guess that comment pushed him too far because I had to quickly duck out of the way as something bounced off the side of Emmett's face and came flying in my direction. I didn't even bother turning to see what it was because I was in shock at the speed that Collin used to launch himself at Emmett, who had fallen to one knee. Three punches landed before Emmett realized what was happening. His face changed with the anger that filled him and I grabbed him the second he got up.

"Jasper!" I needed his help. I knew I couldn't hold him back by myself. Between the two of us we got Emmett backed up against the locker.

"Emmett, cool it. You can't hit him," I warned him. I knew the damage he could do and he would have seriously hurt the kid.

"Bring it on, Emmett. You think I'm afraid of you?" Collin taunted him.

"You're mine, kid!" Emmett fought harder and got his arm away from Jasper.

I had to work harder to keep him in my grip while he fought with all his strength to break free. Jasper regained control of Emmett's arm and we had him pinned to the locker again. It shocked the hell out of me when Collin didn't give up. He ran up and landed a cheap shot in Emmett's stomach.

"I'm gonna kill you, kid!" He fought harder. "Get the fuck off of me! I'm taking his bitch ass out!"

"Collin, get the fuck out of here before I do let him go," I warned him.

He stepped up in Emmett's face. "Stay the hell away from Rose."

Emmett tried to land a head butt to the bridge of Collin's nose but he barely grazed him and caused no damage at all. "Fuck you, kid! You wait until I find your ass alone. We'll finish this!" He yelled as Collin took off down the hall.

Now that the action was over, the crowd that had gathered began to break apart. The guys seemed disappointed that they weren't going to see a fight but the girls were watching Emmett while whispering and giggling to each other and some were even winking at him. It was completely ridiculous. I focused back on my brother.

"Emmett, get a grip." There was still no way I was letting him go.

"Get off me, now!" he yelled and I could see the veins in his neck pulsing.

"Not a chance," Jasper spoke up. "Not until you calm down."

We loosened our grip on him when we felt him relax. He wasn't going to fight us anymore but we weren't moving far enough away from him to give him a chance to go after Collin either. He smoothed out his shirt and stood tall before he spoke again.

"Fine, for now that kid will get away. But I'll take care of him later," he spoke through clenched teeth. "And you two aren't going to stop me."

"We won't have to because you aren't going to touch him," Jasper spoke with confidence.

"That's what you think, pretty boy." Emmett had an evil look on this face.

"I know you aren't." Even I was beginning to think he was crazy with his statement. "If you even want to stand a chance with Rose you won't be fighting anyone. Don't get me wrong because I do like Collin a lot. He's a good kid but it's obvious that he knows nothing about Rose."

"What are you talking about?" Emmett and I asked at the same time.

"Rose hates any kind of fighting and I have a feeling that once she hears about this, and with the way gossip travels in this school she _will _hear about it, she's not going to stay with him much longer." Jasper laid his hand on Emmett's shoulder. "If you lay one hand on him, you might as well stop trying right now."

Emmett's smile couldn't have gotten any bigger as he listened to Jasper's words. He knew what just happened meant the end of Collin and Rose's relationship. A few minutes later, after Jasper had taken off to his next class, Emmett looked at me and raised his hand for a high five.

"You heard him, Ed, blondie is mine."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~

January was coming to an end and I couldn't believe I had only been here for a month. With the way every hour of every day dragged on, it felt like it had already been a year. Every day that went by brought me down lower and put me in a worse mood than the day before and today it just got worse.

It was bad enough that I had to watch my parents act like lovesick teenagers all the time, now I was watching Emmett do the same. Jasper wasn't kidding when he said that Rose would break up with Collin over the fight with Emmett last week. It only took her a couple of hours to find out about it and the next day, she was single. Jasper had given Emmett her phone number and they talked all day on Sunday and, as of today, Emmett had a new girlfriend.

It killed me how easy it was for him. In no time at all he had the girl he wanted, while I sat here day after day surrounded by happy couples wishing for a time when the girl I want would just say one word to me. I still didn't know why she seemed to hate me so much. I didn't do anything wrong and we were so happy to see each other that first day. I knew all it would take was one conversation and we could be happy, become friends and maybe more than that some day but I couldn't get her to be in the same room with me.

How was it even fair that I was the one trying to do the right thing and be the good guy while Emmett, whose whole plan from the beginning was to steal the girl, got exactly what he wanted? It's not like I wasn't happy for him, because I was, but I wished the same thing for myself. I hated having such a glaring reminder of how different we really were. If I were anything like Emmett, Bella would already be mine.

"Hey Edward."

A felt the tap on my shoulder and I jumped at the interruption. I didn't realize I had zoned out for a bit, not noticing the girl standing behind me.

"Oh, hey Lauren. What's up?" I finished gathering my books for my morning classes while she talked.

"I wanted to ask you a favor?" Her face scrunched up a bit and then she continued. "Well, you and your brother, really."

"Sure. Walk with me so we're not late." I motioned for her to follow me. "What do you need?"

"Jessica's birthday is next week and I wanted to go shopping. So, if you're not busy, I wanted to see if you would like to come with me."

She stared at the ground as we walked, almost as if she was afraid of my answer. I wasn't really busy so I could go if I wanted to, but I didn't know if I should or not. I didn't want to sound mean and flat out refuse but I also didn't think it was a good idea to be hanging out with her either. She was a nice girl but Jasper also told me about _her_ reputation and it wasn't any better than Jessica's.

"I don't…" I was hesitating so she cut me off.

"It's okay." She gave me kind of a half smile and touched my shoulder. "You don't have to. I just didn't want to go alone."

She started to walk away hanging her head and I felt bad. I didn't want her to be upset and it was just shopping. "Wait Lauren, I'll go if you want really want me to." Her face lit up as she smiled and she came close to me again. "But what does shopping have to do with Emmett? He hates shopping."

"I was hoping he could give us a ride up there and pick us up when we're done." Her face was expectant.

"I'll ask him. I can't say he will but I'll try."

She threw her arms around my neck, hugged me and kissed my cheek as she pulled away. "Thanks, Edward. You really are a good guy." She kissed my cheek again. "So is Friday night okay?"

"Friday is fine. I'll let you know tomorrow if I Emmett will drive." I paused for a second thinking that he's probably going to be with Rose that night so I added an option. "If Emmett's busy, I'll ask my mom. I'm sure she wouldn't mind."

"Thanks again, Edward. You're the best." She hugged me again and ran off.

It felt good to finally make someone happy. I didn't like shopping any more than Emmett did but maybe I could find something for Jessica also. It was her birthday after all and she'd been really great from the first day we met. I'm sure I could find something nice that will serve as a 'thank you' for everything.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~

The week moved slowly and I started to feel a little better, but not enough to say I was happy. I was simply becoming more and more resigned to the fact that Bella and I were never going to _be_ anything. You couldn't be friends with someone who wouldn't talk to you and you couldn't care about someone who hated you… okay, you _could_ but it hurt too damn much. I tortured myself every day with thoughts of Bella and me as a couple, in love and happy, but they were thoughts I shouldn't be having because nothing was going to make them true. She still had her boyfriend and, every time I saw them together, _they_ were the two that looked happy. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to do the only thing that would save my sanity and that was to avoid Bella as much as possible.

I put my plan into action on Monday and it only took a few days to realize that it was too hard because every cell in my body was aching to see her, to hold her and, hopefully one day, to kiss her. Staying away from her during the day was the only thing to keep those thoughts out of my head but, no matter how hard I fought it, my mind wouldn't let me rest at night as Bella starred in every one of my dreams.

It was still dark outside and I laid in bed holding onto the shirt that got me through every lonely day without her back in California. The strawberry smell was gone now but the memory of that day with her was engrained in my mind. I knew doing stuff like this was something a girl would do but I couldn't help it. The dream that hit me this time was the one that hurt the most and I just wanted to be close to her again.

I wanted to sleep but the dream that had shocked me awake still weighed heavily on my mind. Each time I closed my eyes I saw Bella telling me goodbye. It hurt me the day she said it but it never crossed my mind that she meant to tell me goodbye forever but that's exactly what it was. Four weeks ago, my dreams finally came true and I was able to hold Bella in my arms again but everything changed in a heartbeat the minute she ran away from that table. I wished I knew where she went that day because I would have followed her. I would have given anything to wrap her in my arms again and try to take away the sadness I saw on her face before she ran.

"Edward, you better get up before you're late," mom called from the hallway.

For as long as I'd been awake, I hadn't looked at the clock so I didn't realize it was already time to get ready. I didn't want to go to school today. I was tired of avoiding her and even more tired of watching Bella from a distance knowing that there was nothing I could say or do to make her talk to me. I knew I didn't want to stay away from her so I would walk the halls hoping I would see her and maybe get her alone so we could talk, but I knew what would happen when she saw me. She would turn and walk in the opposite direction after giving me the look that told me she hated me and I didn't want to see it again.

"Mom, I don't feel good. Can I stay home today?" I never played sick before so hopefully she would buy it.

She walked into my room, sat on the edge of the bed and put the back of her hand to my forehead. "You don't feel warm, honey. Is everything okay?"

I should have known she would check. I couldn't fake a fever and it was too hard to lie to her so I hesitated, thinking of something to say. My silence told my too observant mother more than words ever could.

"Edward, I don't think you're sick. Please tell me what's wrong." Her concern was written on her face. "I've been watching you and I know you're not telling me something. I can't help if I don't know the truth."

"I don't want to talk about it. Can't I just stay home today?" I had to stay strong here. What kind of man runs to his 'mommy' when he's having a problem with girls? "Just this once… please?"

_Right Edward, begging really helps when you want to stay strong._

She gave me an uncompromising look. "Edward, you know I don't approve of you missing school without a good reason."

I released all the air in my lungs and my face fell with the loss of hope as I pulled the blankets back to get out of bed. I stopped when her hand touched my shoulder. I looked up and saw sympathy.

"Just this once, Edward." She kissed my forehead and smoothed my hair like she would do if I was sick. The gesture made me smile. "Let me get your dad and your brother out the door and I'll come to check on you."

"I love you, mom," I called after her as she was about to walk out the door.

"I love you, sweetheart."

The door closed with a faint click and I rolled back over, hugged my shirt to my chest and closed my eyes to try and sleep one more time.


	20. Why Not Me

Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.

Thanks as always to my pre-reader Loulabelle and my beta AgoodWITCH for all of the input, great comments and overall support on my stories. I love you girls so much.

I can't forget all my WC girls for all the encouragement. Ladies, you are the best. Love ya tons.

Today we get a rare look into Alice's head before we get back to Bella. I hope you enjoy it.

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**Chapter 20 – Why Not Me**

**APOV**

I was pulling the last of my books from my locker when the crash freaked me out and I jumped back a couple of steps. Edward was leaning against the lockers, completely out of breath. He tried to speak but his breathing was so heavy that the words barely came out. I laughed because he looked and sounded like he ran the whole way to school.

"I don't mean to laugh, but are you okay?"

"Alice," he gasped for air, "I need… your… help."

"Just calm down for a minute and tell me what you need."

He leaned back against the lockers and rested his hands on his knees. After taking a few deep breaths, he stood up and looked directly into my eyes. Emmett, Edward and I were really starting to get to know each other since we spent a lot of time together when they would come to my house to hang out with Jasper and this is the most excited I'd seen him since their first day of school.

"I need your help." He grabbed my hands. "Please Alice, I need to talk to Bella. It's important."

"Are you finally gonna tell her?"

"I have to." He looked embarrassed. "Now don't laugh, but I talked to my mom yesterday while I was home and she told me that I have to tell Bella how I feel. She told me that I can't keep hoping for something to happen when Bella doesn't even know it's an option." He took a deep breath. "And she's right. I had ten minutes with her a month ago, how is she ever going to know that I've spent the last four months thinking about her if I don't tell her."

I felt the thrill start to take over as I watched him start pacing back and forth. It was kind of cute seeing him get so worked up about finally telling Bella the truth that we all knew. There was a new energy to him now that I hadn't seen since he saw her that first day. I loved it and I would do whatever he wanted me to do if it meant getting Bella away from Jacob.

"What's your plan?"

"I don't really have one. She's spent so much time avoiding me that I have no idea how to get close to her." He looked desperate as his right hand pulled on his hair.

_Maybe that's why it always looked like he just got out of bed and left the house. Focus Alice…you need to think._

"Okay we just have to keep it simple for now. Meet me at Bella's locker after school. She has practice so she won't be running out too fast. I'll talk to Rose and we'll keep her busy until you get there. Don't take too long because she won't have all day. Her big meet is tomorrow so she'll be in a hurry to get to the pool."

His smile was blinding as he agreed. This was going to be fun and it would be just what Bella needed to make her see that Edward likes her as much as she likes him. I had seen her looking at him all the time when she knew he wasn't watching and I'd seen the hurt that took over her face whenever she saw him with Jessica. He had already made it clear that there was nothing going on with her. Now we just had to make Bella believe it.

"Okay I'll meet you there. But then what?"

"Then we'll do whatever it takes to make her listen. I don't care if Rose has to wrestle her to the ground and I have to sit on her to keep her from leaving." He couldn't stop laughing when I said that but he had no idea how serious I was.

"Jasper never told me you were the violent type, Alice."

I slapped him across the stomach. "Don't laugh. I'm tougher than you think."

"I'm sure you are."

"Okay I'll have Jasper keep Jacob busy so you can have your time with her." He looked nervous; I touched his arm for reassurance. "This will work, Edward. It has to."

He perked up again and leaned over to kiss my cheek. "Thanks, Alice. You're the best." He took off jogging down the hall and I heard him yell, "I owe you one."

I giggled because he was just too cute when he got excited. He looked like a kid at Christmas and I just gave him his favorite toy. I hitched my bag over my shoulder and took off for class.

The day was passing slowly as I got more and more excited about finally getting Bella and Edward to talk. He was a good guy and I knew he would be perfect for her; all she had to do was give him a chance. I knew she wanted to, but I didn't know what was really holding her back. If she thought that she was going to keep Jacob around, she wasn't as smart as I thought she was.

Jacob had always been really good at hiding things from her, but I saw through him then and I could see through him now. I knew his heart wasn't in this relationship like he was leading Bella to believe. I had seen the looks he would shoot towards Leah when he thought no one was looking. I couldn't tell her about it because all it did was cause a fight between us but I wasn't going to let him hurt her again. Bella finally had someone who really wanted to be with her and I wasn't going to let Jacob keep her from getting what she deserved.

I shot a quick text message to Rose to make sure she didn't forget to meet us right after class and she told me she was ready. I covered my mouth to hide my giggle when she described Edward in his chair behind her bouncing around nervously, unable to sit still. Fifteen more minutes and I can finally help Bella be happy and return the favor for her role in helping to get me and Jasper together.

I shot out of my chair as soon as the bell rang and ran directly to her locker and Edward was there a few minutes later. He started pacing again, too excited to stand still. I laughed again.

"Edward, calm down. I just got a text from Jasper and he has Jacob under control and Bella will be here in a few minutes. I told you, this is going to work."

"Where's Rose?" he asked. "She was right behind me when the bell rang. What if she doesn't get here in time?"

I was wondering the same thing so I pulled out my phone and sent her a message.

**Where r u?...Ali **

I had to find out because she should have shown up with Edward since they were in the same class. She didn't answer and I knew we didn't have time to wait because Bella was coming around the corner. I looked towards Edward and he had his back turned and hadn't seen her yet.

Bella stopped in her tracks when she saw him pacing by her locker and I watched her turn once like she wanted to walk away. I glanced at Edward and he still hadn't noticed her yet but when I looked back, I saw that Bella had turned in our direction and was looking at me then at him and her face changed like someone flipped a switch. I suddenly had a gnawing feeling in my stomach…this wasn't going to end well.

"Hey Bella," I used the most cheerful voice I could.

She stood in front of her locker and threw the door open which got Edward's attention. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him turn and take one step toward us. Bella shoved one book in her bag before she slammed the door closed.

She gave Edward the evil eye then her glare landed on me. "Don't you listen?" She practically growled at me.

"Bella, he wants…" She cut me off.

"How many times do I have to tell you," she yelled as she shoved me away from her. Her eyes went to Edward as she finished, "I don't care what he has to say."

She pushed me again and took off running down the hallway. In our entire lives, Bella had never laid her hands on me like that. The surprise of it had me stuck in place just watching her leave. When she turned the corner, I turned back to Edward and he was just staring after her looking like he was ready to cry. I felt so sorry for him because, knowing Bella like I did, I knew this just made everything worse.

"Edward," I wanted to say I was sorry but he didn't give me a chance.

"Forget it, Alice."

His voice sounded hollow, his shoulders slumped and the look on his face made me want to cry. I failed and I may just have ruined any chance he had with her.

"I'm done." He looked at a piece of paper in his hands before he let it fall to the ground. "It's over."

He shoved his hands into his pockets and walked past me in the direction of the parking lot. This shouldn't have happened. What the hell was she thinking? Why couldn't she just talk to him? Why did she have to be so damn hard-headed?

I hung my head and rubbed my temples while I thought of what to do next. When I opened my eyes, I noticed the paper that Edward dropped before he left. I picked it up with every intention of giving it back to him the next time I saw him but my curiosity got the better of me and I opened it.

"What's that?"

I heard Rose speak as she came to stand next to me. "Where were you? Everything got so messed up."

"I'm sorry. The teacher caught me as I was leaving. What happened?"

I laid out the details from the minute Bella walked up to the second Edward walked out. She apologized again that she wasn't there to help.

"It's okay, Rose, but you have to see this." I held out the paper in my hand.

She read it and her hand lifted to cover her open mouth. She looked at me when she was finished. "We have to fix this."

I nodded at her words and took the letter back. I always thought of Jasper as the most romantic guy I had ever met but after reading Edward's letter to Bella, I was so wrong. If this is what he felt about her, there was no way I could give up. I was going to do everything in my power to help him.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~

**BPOV**

The tears started as soon as I had my back to them and I was halfway to the pool when I had to stop. I fell against the wall and slid to the floor, pulling my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. I had been crying more and more lately and it seemed that the tears came every time I got anywhere near Edward.

I had three problems when it came to Edward. My first and biggest problem was Jessica. Every time I saw him these days he was with her and I didn't want to keep having his relationship with her shoved down my throat. It was bad enough that I had to listen to her give Lauren all the horrid details during science class. I could really care less where he put his hands when he kissed her or how those kisses made her body react.

_Toe curling…really?_

It was all ridiculous and I didn't want to hear about it, not with her anyway. There were too many nights since he moved here that I would be lying in bed thinking about him kissing me like that. My stomach still filled with butterflies every time I saw his face or every time I would catch him looking at me but I fought with everything in me to not think about it. He was dating Jessica and I had to keep reminding myself that he wouldn't be interested in me because there was no way I was going to give it up like she did. He wanted the easy girl that he could get into bed whenever he wanted and that definitely wasn't me.

My second problem in this whole mess was Alice. I told her countless times that I didn't want to have anything to do with Edward. She always said I was doing the right thing but every time I turned around, she was pushing me to talk to him or walking past him on purpose while we were together. I kept trying to get her to stop but nothing was working. She ignored every word I said.

Today she went too far though. I couldn't believe she set me up like that. Asking me to talk to him or purposely passing him in the halls was one thing but ambushing me at my locker like that was different and I definitely didn't handle it well. I shouldn't have pushed her like that and I know she'll get me back for it later but she could be so stubborn sometimes. Maybe that was my only option to get her to listen and leave this situation with Edward alone.

That left me with my third problem…Jacob. I would have thought my boyfriend would be my biggest problem when it came to thinking about another boy but he just wasn't. I really did love Jacob but with him, I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Sure we were happy and he seemed like the most loving boyfriend in the world but I would still see him looking at Leah sometimes. I never said anything for fear of letting Alice hear but I was always on edge with Jacob, constantly waiting for him to leave me for her.

Of course, when I thought about that scenario it made me cry. So in my present condition, the thought of Jacob leaving caused me to cry harder. I pulled my knees tighter to take some of the pressure off my chest.

"Bella, are you okay," a voice asked with urgency.

I felt a hand on my back but I didn't recognize the voice right away so I looked up to see who intruded on my misery. If I didn't have enough problems already this was just icing on the cake. I looked up into a set of concerned eyes.

"Yeah Leah, I'm fine." The hitch in my voice and tears helped to keep the bitterness out of my tone.

She was on the floor next to me rubbing her hand on my arm. "Bella, I know better than that. Are you and Jake," she hesitated slightly, "okay?"

"Really Leah? Do you really think that's your business?" I didn't mean to sound pissed off but was she seriously asking me about my problems with Jacob.

"Bella, we used to be friends remember, before…" I cut her off.

"Before you took him from me." The resentment didn't stay away for long.

"But I didn't. I didn't know you…"

"Save it, Leah! You don't really think I'm stupid enough to believe you didn't know, do you?" I was on my feet now, mad enough to hit her but fighting hard for control. "You claim to be my friend but that just shows how fake your friendship always was because every one of my _real_ friends knew how I felt about him. My _real _friends were there to watch me cry every time he walked away. My _real_ friends were there trying to keep me from going back every time he told me he loved me. It was my _real_ friends who told me not to get in the limo that night."

She jumped to her feet. "You think that was my fault? I didn't have anything to do with that. I wouldn't have hurt you that way."

"Are you kidding me? You wouldn't hurt me _that_ way!" I let my temper get the better of me and I pushed her against the locker and got in her face. "Tell me, Leah, how many ways did you think you could hurt me before that night to make that one the one you wouldn't do?"

She stared at me with a blank expression on her face unable to come up with an answer.

"That's what I thought. Now don't ever speak to me again like we're friends because you and I both know it's a lie."

I let her go and left her staring after me as I hurried to get to the pool before I was late for practice.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Practice was good today. I spent most of my time doing fifty-meter sprints so I could be ready for the race tomorrow. To begin practice, I beat my personal best by five hundredths of a second and then, two sprints later, I beat the new time again. I knew I was working off the adrenaline flowing through me caused by the confrontation with Leah but it was worth it. After my sprint times began to drop, my coach had taken me aside to rest and talk with me about the meet tomorrow.

"Bella, tomorrow is a big meet. I know you're ready for this, especially with the times you put up today."

"I'm good coach. I'm listening to my dad and he says to treat it like just another race."

"That's good advice to have. I'll leave you here to rest for a few minutes before we start working the relay teams."

My dad and I had talked about this very thing when he saw me getting nervous about the meet. He sat me down and told me that it was normal to be nervous because it was a big meet but I needed to treat it like a regular meet, just with more people involved. He told me that when my mom got nervous like this that she would picture herself getting out of the pool and hugging him at the end of the race. She never thought about the race itself. So I would do the same thing. Unfortunately, that presented a whole different problem. Whose face would be in that picture?

As if God was answering my silent question, a hand on my shoulder interrupted my thoughts. I looked up and saw Jacob's smiling face staring down at me. I covered his hand with my own and smiled back.

"Hey beautiful." He crouched down in front of me, holding both my hands between us.

"Jake, what are you doing here? You know you're not supposed to be here during practice." I didn't want to get either of us in trouble.

He winked at me. "It's okay. I asked your coach if I could talk to you for a minute. She only gave me one."

I couldn't help but laugh as he rolled his eyes.

"I know I said I was going to wait for you to finish practice but I can't. My dad is coming to get me early so I have to leave."

"That's okay, Jake. I already told you that you didn't need to wait for me."

He gave me a quick kiss. "Thanks doll. I just wanted to let you know where I was before you thought I took off on you or something."

"You don't have to do that. A simple text would have been fine. Besides, my dad is coming to get me right after practice anyway. We're going to the store to pick up the stuff we'll need for tonight."

"Right, girls night. I forgot," he laughed before getting up to leave.

I walked with him towards the door since I had to get back to the pool anyway.

"I'll see you in the morning, doll. I'm going to ride with Charlie to the meet tomorrow. I can't wait to see you kick their ass, Bells. Those girls don't stand a chance." He kissed me on the cheek this time before he let me go. "You're gonna be great."

Jacob always knew the right things to say to give me the confidence to do my best. His words saw me through some pretty tough times over the years and now he was going to be there with me to face another huge challenge. I joined my relay team as we got ready for the league meet.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~

I was more anxious than I let anyone know so the girls were coming over tonight to hang out and keep my nerves in check. I was surprised this whole season that I had done as well as I did and to be ranked fifth in the league was a huge accomplishment for me. I was ready for the meet tomorrow and, if I could keep calm, I could actually place top three. I was in the kitchen putting the food in the oven as the girls walked in the door, arguing.

"I'm not saying a word. If you want to then that's on you but don't look to me to save you, Alice." Rosalie's whispered words would have worked if they weren't in the hallway right behind me.

"I can hear you, you know." I looked over my shoulder to see them walking into the kitchen.

"Oh hey, Bella." Rosalie blushed.

"Alice, what did you do this time?"

"I didn't do anything, Bella. You did." Her angry tone didn't surprise me.

She stood there with her arms crossed tapping her little foot on my kitchen floor. I knew it was coming. There was no way she was going to let go of what happened this afternoon. I decided to act like I didn't remember.

"Do you plan on telling me what I did?" I waited with my own arms crossed.

"Or maybe the better phrase would be, what you didn't do."

"Don't do it, Alice," Rosalie warned.

"Quiet Rose. Bella, why would you completely ignore Edward today when all he wanted to…"

"Gah, will you let it go already, Alice!" My yelling filled the house. "I have nothing to say to Edward Cullen and I'm tired of you pushing me on this. Either you drop it or you leave right now. I'm not spending tonight in an argument with you about someone who doesn't even matter."

"I tried to tell you." Rosalie, not wanting to deal with us, left us in the kitchen in the middle of our stare down.

"I'm not going anywhere and after what you did to me earlier, you are going to stand there and listen to everything I have to say."

I knew I was going to have to answer for the push I gave her earlier but I didn't expect this from her. Alice always had a temper but it was never directed at me before, not like this. Of course, she was probably thinking the same thing about me earlier. I just kept my arms crossed and listened.

"Bella, this isn't like you. I watched you give Jake chance after chance to weasel his way back into your life only to watch him hurt you again."

"What does that have to do with anything?" I couldn't hide the irritation in my voice. She knew better than to bring up my past with Jacob.

"You just blew Edward off today without even giving him a chance to talk." She moved forward, grabbed my arms and looked me right in the eyes. "You have no idea what you're passing up, Bella."

"You don't get it, Alice. I don't need someone like Edward. He showed his true colors when he chose Jessica. If he would have just waited two weeks…" I stopped, already having said too much.

"What are you talking about?" She was understandably confused.

"It doesn't matter, Alice. I have Jake and he loves me and you know I love him so drop this. Edward Cullen has no part in my life, now or in the future." I felt my chest tighten when I said the words but I kept it from showing on my face.

"But Bella…"

"No Alice, this conversation is over and don't bring it up again."

I left her standing in the kitchen as I walked past her to join Rose in the living room. I just wanted to forget about everything and focus on my friends for just one night. We sat around for hours talking, laughing and dancing and singing to the music Rosalie put on. We could always count on her to bring the music, it was her thing and she eased us into the old school music until it started to take over our cd collections.

When my dad came home we took the party to my room where things calmed down a little. I actually decided to tell the girls about my 'talk' with Leah. Rosalie was a little put off by it but, because she wasn't around for everything, she didn't get upset about it the way Alice did. She was fuming and calling Leah every bad name in the book and I think she made up a few of her own.

We let her rant for a few more minutes before changing the subject to Emmett and Rosalie. She was glowing with happiness as she told us all about him; how nice, sweet and funny he was. She did feel bad about breaking up with Collin after the fight and starting this thing with Emmett so fast but she said she felt something for him that just made it right. I was happy for her but seeing her talk about Emmett that way made me think about his brother again. I didn't want to let them know what was going on in my head so I reminded them that I needed my sleep for tomorrow so we could end the night and go to bed.

Hours later I rolled over to see the glowing numbers on the alarm clock. It was late and the girls were already asleep but my racing mind wouldn't let me close my eyes for any length of time. Sure the meet was on my mind but that wasn't what wouldn't allow me to sleep. Just like every other sleepless night, Edward Cullen was all I could think about. I would never admit it to Alice but I watched him enough on my own. I didn't need her bringing him to my attention too.

I meant every word I said to her though. I had nothing to say to Edward. If I did he would see right through me and he would know how much this whole thing bothered me. There were hundreds of girls in school, me included, who would kill to go out with him but he chose to spend his time with Jessica of all people. He knew what she was but he stayed with her anyway. It was obvious that a meaningful relationship meant nothing to him if he was going to continue to be with a girl like that. Why did it have to be all about sex for him?

It was his choices that pissed me off more than anything and kept me up at night wondering why someone like me wasn't good enough for him. Sure I had a boyfriend, but there was just something about Edward that made Jacob always take a back seat in my mind. I couldn't explain the connection I felt to Edward that started the day I met him and it hadn't lessened in all this time and watching him with that slut just made it painful.

I couldn't take the thoughts running through my head so I decided to stop torturing myself. The only way to get Edward out of my mind was to submerse myself in another world. Not wanting to wake the girls, I grabbed a book and a blanket and went downstairs. I curled myself into a ball under my blanket and opened my copy of The Notebook. It wasn't one of my favorite stories but it was something to take my mind off of him. It didn't work though. I was reading the part when the girl went back to her old boyfriend and their reunion.

My traitorous mind reversed the roles and had me thinking of Edward at my doorstep calling my name, telling me that I was the one he wanted. I found myself running through the house at top speed, ripping open the door and throwing myself in his arms. We kissed like there was no tomorrow and lived happily ever after.

I came back to my senses and threw the book across the room. _Stupid love stories._ _That's it, nothing but horror stories from now on. _I exhaled and rolled over onto my side to try sleep again when I heard footsteps on the stairs.

"Bells, is everything okay?" My dad stepped off the stairs and came to sit beside me. "Do you want to talk?"

"Everything is so messed up dad. I don't know what to do."

"Tell me, Bells. We'll figure it out together."

I curled into his side and he put his arm around me. It was still strange getting used to talking to him like this but I needed his advice.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Morning came and Rosalie was the first to get up and meet me in the kitchen. She took in my zombie-like appearance and her face showed her sympathy. She grabbed a bottle of juice out of the fridge and sat down next to me.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"No, I couldn't sleep last night." I didn't want to lie but I didn't see how I could tell her the truth. I trusted her but she had been going out with Emmett for a week now and I didn't know if she would tell him what I would have to say about Edward. So I came up with something that could be possible. "I couldn't stop freaking out over the meet today."

"You'll be fine, Bella. Those other girls can't compete with you and you know it." She touched my shoulder and moved to the counter to get her breakfast.

I could be crazy or my paranoia was setting in but I had the feeling she wasn't talking about the meet. She knew something was up with me but she wasn't one to push for details. I loved her for it because Alice would have drilled me until I was fed up and ready to hit her.

"Thanks Rose. I know I'll be okay."

Alice and my dad came into the kitchen together and sat to eat breakfast. He looked pretty tired and I felt bad that I kept him up for two hours talking last night. He gave me some great advice but I didn't know how I could follow through. He told me that I should sit down and talk to Edward and get everything out in the open because I wouldn't get over these feelings for him if I didn't. I had no intention telling Edward how I felt about him. It wouldn't do me any good if I did since he was more interested in the skanks he could get into bed than a girl like me.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and focus on my dad's second bit of advice, which was to break up with Jacob… not for good, but until I figured things out. He told me that if I was having these types of feelings for someone else then it wasn't fair to Jacob because I couldn't give my heart to him completely. In his words, "Any boy you date deserves to have all of you and if you can't give him that, let him go so he can find someone who can." I agreed with him to a point but Jacob and I have only been together a few months and I loved him. I didn't want to let him go just because I had misplaced feelings for someone who doesn't even want me.

As if on cue, the knock sounded at the door and I knew immediately that it was Jacob. I jogged to the door and opened it to see his tired yet smiling face. He kissed my forehead, pulled me to him and just held me for a minute before letting me go.

"Hey beautiful, are you ready for today?"

"Yeah, I'm ready."

"Good." He kissed me lightly and placed his hand on my cheek. "You are going to blow them out of the water."

I thanked him again for always saying what I needed to hear before I led him into the kitchen where everyone was eating. As he sat down, I started to fix him a plate because I knew he would be hungry, he always was. I had already eaten and was just waiting for my ride because I had to be there an hour before they did. My teammate showed up about ten minutes later and I kissed Jacob and my dad goodbye as the chorus of 'good lucks' and 'you'll be greats' followed me out the door.

It had been a good day so far, with two of our relay teams and a couple of our girls already placing in the top three to take them to the regional finals. My race was coming up and, because of my ranking, I was put in the final heat with the fastest swimmers in the league. This is where I had to prove myself because these girls were the best and only tenths of seconds separated us.

I was waiting near the wall behind the blocks for the first heat to be called. I looked up into the stands to see my dad, my friends and Jacob all waving at me. As always, seeing them in the crowd filled me with confidence. Jacob sending me his love put a smile on my face and just made my belief in myself grow.

_I can do this. These girls are nothing._

The first group of girls jumped off the blocks at the sound of the gun. They moved through the water quickly but their times were closer to a minute so they were no concern to me. The second group of girls took off and again their times weren't fast enough for me to worry about. The third group of girls was just about to start their race when one of the girls took off too soon and caused a pause in the race. Every racer had to come down from the blocks until the pool was cleared. When they stepped down, my eyes wandered.

_Holy shit! What the hell?_

I rubbed my eyes and shook my head but when I looked back up I knew my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. I began to panic and felt like I was hyperventilating as my legs unconsciously backed my body away from the pool. I ran into one someone and almost fell over. My coach held both of my arms and steadied me.

"Bella, are you okay? You have to get back over there. Your race is about to start."

"I… I can't." She spent the last few seconds we had talking me down and bringing me back to my senses. I had to refocus so I took some deep breaths and walked back to the blocks to get ready for my race.

I closed my eyes, cleared my mind and got ready to take my position. My heat was up and I stepped up to the block waiting for the referee to call us up. At his word, I stepped onto the block and let my mind go blank, focusing only on the twenty-five meters in front of me.

I heard the gun and launched myself into the water. I was under for a while and popped up about a third of the way through the pool. The second I surfaced my arms moved furiously to propel me through the water. Only seconds later, I flipped and kicked myself off the wall thrusting my body toward the other end of the pool. Again I surfaced and moved my arms faster than in any other race before this. This one was so much more important because the top three moved on to regionals where we would compete to go to the state finals.

My reasoning, however, had the other races at the back of my mind. The importance of this race had everything to do with who was sitting to my left, in the last row of the stands watching me. The wall was close and I pushed harder. I had to win, not for myself… for him. I wanted to impress him. I wanted to win… for Edward.

My hand hit the wall and my head shot out of the water just as my hand reached up to rip my goggles away from my eyes. I didn't care about the results or if there was anyone else who had reached the wall before me. My eyes scanned the stands and there was Edward screaming and clapping with the rest of the crowd. His eyes captured mine and, for the first time in a month, I allowed myself to get lost in those eyes and pretend he cared about me. I smiled and waved and his actions mirrored mine. Our connection was just as strong in that minute as it had been when I was in his arms on my birthday. In my mind, he was there for me because he cared about me and no other reason.

A hand on my shoulder broke our connection and I turned my head to the person shaking me. My coach was kneeling by the pool with the biggest grin on her face.

"You did it, Bella. Look," she pointed to the result board, "second place. You're going to regionals."

I screamed with excitement and pulled myself out of the pool. She wrapped me in her arms and my teammates were there with their congratulations. I reveled in the win for a few minutes and then turned to find Edward again. I looked up to find him and the space he was sitting in was empty. I looked through the crowd but couldn't find him. As I continued my search I looked towards the door in time to see him walk through it and he was gone.


	21. A Present Mirror of Past Events

Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.

Thanks as always to my pre-reader Loulabelle and my beta AgoodWITCH for all of the input, great comments and overall support on my stories. I love you girls so much.

I can't forget all my WC girls for all the encouragement. Ladies, you are the best. Love ya tons.

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**Chapter 21 – A Present Mirror of Past Events**

**EPOV**

"Edward," my dad called my name, "your mother said to bring this to you." He handed me my coat. "She said you never came inside after school. She's worried you're going to freeze."

I hadn't paid much attention to the temperature. I just wanted to be alone so, after we pulled into the garage, I got out of the car, walked out to the park and found a tree that I thought hid me from the prying eyes in the house.

"Son, what are you doing out here?"

He was concerned and I didn't blame him. I was sure he noticed my change as much as my mom did only he wasn't one to come right out and demand the truth like she did. I didn't know how to tell him what was wrong without sounding like less than a man.

"Your mom told me something about a girl. Edward, you know you can talk to me about anything, right."

When he mentioned 'a girl', Bella's look of loathing crossed my mind and I felt like I was going to be sick. I felt his hand on my shoulder when my groan was the only answer to his question.

"Edward, I'm not going to lie, you know your mom told me about your conversation yesterday. I know what you're going through, son."

I looked at him like he was crazy. Mom told me all about how he swept her off her feet when they were teenagers. She told me how romantic he was and how she knew he was 'the one' the first time she saw him.

"Yeah right." I finally spoke to him. "I've heard the stories, remember? How could you possibly know?"

"You've heard the stories your mom wanted you to hear. She's obviously never told you what really happened when we first met."

"What are you talking about? You're calling mom a liar?"

"She didn't lie. She only told you the good things. Edward, the truth is, you're mother didn't want anything to do with me when we first met." He let out a short laugh as he took a seat in the grass next to me. "I know you see us now and it makes it easier to believe everything was perfect back then, but it wasn't."

Now I was curious. I knew they had their arguments here and there but those were more like tense discussions than anything else. There was never any name-calling or any angry words said between them so I never expected their relationship to have started out bad.

"You know your mom is older than I am, right? She was in tenth grade when I was moved up to high school. I remember seeing her and thinking she was the most beautiful girl in the world. I was incredibly shy and self conscious back then because the other kids always saw me as the freaky, genius kid who skipped three grades."

He leaned back, resting on his hands as he spoke and it was so casual, it just seemed off. I was used to seeing him sitting behind his desk when he wanted to talk to us about anything; even his talk with me about sex was done in his study. He always seemed more comfortable when he was in an office setting.

"No one wanted me there and they had no problem voicing their opinions. As luck would have it, I was put into a math class with your mom and I could swear that she could see me shaking when the teacher told me to sit next to her. She didn't, of course, because the only time she paid any attention to me that first day was when she told me to go back where I belonged. I was crushed."

"Okay, now I know you're lying. There is no way my mom, Esme Cullen, would have said anything like that." My mom was the nicest person on the planet and I would bet that she didn't have a single bone in her body that would make her act like that towards anyone. It had to be a lie.

"You may not think so now but you have to remember that this was twenty years ago and she was only a sixteen year old girl back then. Kids at that age will say and do things that they aren't proud of as adults but it's the reality of being a teenager."

"Fine but what does that have to do with me?"

"I'm getting to that." I watched as he leaned forward and nervously picked at the dead grass. "Anyway, all the kids hated me and were merciless in their teasing. They had more names for me than I even knew existed and for that first year they never let up and yes before you ask, even your mom joined in. I could hardly blame her for going with them. I was a thirteen year old boy who was thrust into their classes and in their eyes I was only there to make them feel stupid."

He took a breath and I could see his discomfort with the subject. This had to be something he never wanted to admit to his children.

"I tried talking to your mom a few times while we were in class because it was the only place I felt the confidence to do so and each time her exact words were, "Stop talking to me, freak." So I took her advice and stopped trying. It was hard because I was already so infatuated with her and I didn't have the ability to just put her out of my mind like that."

He laughed a bit and, as he picked at the grass, the self-conscious side of him that he said he had back then was on full display.

"I'm ashamed to admit that I followed her a lot. I knew where all her classes were and I knew which halls she would walk through to get to her locker or her next class and I was always running to catch a glimpse of her before I had to be in my own class. Looking back now, I guess I was kind of a stalker but back then I just saw myself as a boy in love."

He met my eyes then and my dropped jaw had him laughing. My dad was always the proper gentleman and it was so out of character to think of him as a stalker type but like he said, it was twenty years ago.

"Okay, but I still don't see what this has to do with me."

"Edward, you have no idea how much like me you really are, do you? I saw it in your eyes during our first trip here. As soon as you saw that girl…um, what's her name?"

"Bella." I dropped my eyes to the ground as I said her name.

"Right, Bella. As soon as you saw her, Edward, I saw my thirteen-year-old self in you. You had it harder than I did though, at least I was able to see your mom everyday but you only had a memory to keep her in your mind…oh and the shirt." He chuckled before speaking again, "Do you mind explaining that one to me?"

I felt the intense embarrassment come over me and, in this open area, there was nowhere to hide. I couldn't look at him so I focused my eyes on the open field away from him. I knew I shouldn't be embarrassed to explain my obsessive behavior to a man who just admitted to basically being a stalker, but I wanted my dad to look at me like a man and I just didn't feel like that right now.

"Dad, please don't…"

"Edward, you've heard my admission so you know I have no right to judge."

I knew he wasn't going to let it go, so I gave in. "I actually ran into her when we got to the school that day and just like you I guess, she was the prettiest girl I had ever seen. I wanted to talk to her but she ran away and then I saw her at the game when Emmett and I were talking to Jasper." I took deep breath. "When I left at halftime, I saw her crying and went to see if I could help. She didn't want to talk but I couldn't let her leave so I kind of forced myself on her."

"Edward, you didn't." The flash of anger in his tone made me turn and look at him while I finished.

"No! Not like that, I just hugged her and she hugged me back. She cried for a long time and it was weird but I felt like I just had to be there for her. When we got back to the hotel that night and I went to change for bed, I noticed that I could smell her perfume, or whatever it was, on my shirt and it still smelled like that when we got home. I couldn't stop thinking about her and the smell of that shirt always made me feel better so I kept it with me and, as stupid as it sounds, I even slept with it."

"It's not stupid, son. Let me ask you, have you ever felt like this for another girl?"

"No. I thought I really liked Jane a lot, but even that doesn't compare to what happens whenever I see Bella." He cocked his eyebrow, so I explained. "It's like, whenever I see her, I can't breathe and I can't talk and when she's anywhere near me, I freeze. Mom told me to write everything down in a letter, so that's what I did."

"Well that doesn't surprise me."

"What does that mean?" His comment confused me.

"That was what I did for her." He smiled as he remembered. "When we were in eleventh grade, your mom was dating this boy who really wasn't a good guy at all and he was always making her cry. I hated seeing her like that all the time but she hated me so there was nothing I could do about it. It wasn't until I heard her crying to one of her girlfriends about how she caught her boyfriend with another girl that I finally stopped caring about what she thought of me and I stepped in."

"What did you do?"

"I waited until school was over and when I saw them in the hall together, I was seeing red. I was ready to fight him but you have to remember, I was only fourteen years old at the time so I wasn't very big and that kid was eighteen and huge. I tried to hit him a couple of times but he laughed it off then, after one punch from him, I was on my back." He was back to picking the grass again. "He kicked me a few times and I heard your mom screaming at him to stop but he didn't listen. He sat down on my chest and punched me in the face and I think I passed out because I don't remember much after the first punch."

I felt bad for my dad for having to go through that and I actually got an image in my head of Collin trying to fight Emmett for Rose and how the whole thing could have happened just like this if we hadn't stopped Emmett from going after him. He really could have hurt the kid.

"I was in the nurse's office when I opened my eyes. I heard my dad mumbling in the other room and was sure he was talking to the nurse about what happened and then I felt a hand on my forehead. I didn't even know there was anyone else in the room with me but your mom was right there, pressing a cold washcloth to my swollen cheek. She was crying again and she felt horrible for what he did to me and asked why I would have ever tried to fight him. I knew she already hated me and I knew I would never get another chance like that again so I decided to just tell her how I felt about her."

He looked toward the house and got a huge grin on his face.

"I told her that I did it for her because she was too beautiful to be with someone who made her cry all the time. I told her that if she were with me she would never shed another tear again. I promised to give her the world, the moon and the stars while I was lying in that bed. She gave me a kiss on the cheek, told me how sweet I was and that she would see me on Monday. I felt like I was losing my chance so asked her to give me my math book."

He looked at me now and let out a nervous laugh.

"You think your keeping that shirt was crazy, well I kept a letter for her tucked inside my math book for a year and I finally had the nerve to give it to her as long as she promised not to read it until she got home. She took it and left, but not before she gave me another kiss on my forehead." He looked back at me again. "You know the rest of the story because everything she's told you about us started from the day she read that letter."

I didn't even want to look at him anymore. His story was almost the same as mine, but there was one big difference. He was able to get my mom to talk to him; of course, he had to fight her boyfriend to do it. There was absolutely no way I was going to fight Jake. It wasn't that I couldn't hold my own against him; I had spent enough time in the gym to make me a match for just about anyone. No, I wouldn't fight him because that would surely cause Bella to hate me. Not that it would be a change from the way she hated me now but, if we were to fight, things would get so much worse and she would never be able to forgive me.

"All I'm trying to say, son, is that things may seem bad now, but that could all change at any given time. Just don't get so down on yourself that you give up on her. I did that and it took me a year to make things right." He put a hand on my shoulder again. "Try to tell her how you feel and if that doesn't work, find a way show her."

"She's got a swim meet tomorrow," I said absently while still looking at the open field. "It's a big one, so I'm sure she'll be nervous about it."

"That's perfect, Edward. If you were to go and just be there to support her on a big day like that, it could make all the difference in the world." He moved to get up. "Now come on before your mother gets more worried about us freezing out here."

When we were both on our feet, he actually pulled me into a hug, which wasn't normal for either of us. I felt more at peace after talking to him and I knew I shouldn't have put it off for so long.

"Thanks, dad. This really helped."

"That's what I'm here for, son."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~

One hot shower later and I was ready to face my family again. I knew I would see the questions in their eyes as they watched me but I hoped they wouldn't make it too obvious. I was having a hard enough time as it was dealing with the shit I was in; I didn't need them making it worse.

I was going to take my dad's advice and go to support Bella tomorrow. Maybe if she saw that I wanted to be there for her, it would make a difference and she wouldn't hate me…or she wouldn't hate me too much. Maybe she would even talk to me. I would even take a 'fuck off, Edward' at this point as long she spoke the words directly to me. I knew I was becoming desperate and I was going to have to work hard to keep my emotions under control. I couldn't let her see how much she got to me, but every time she was anywhere near me, my face betrayed me. If she were to ever really look at me, she would see right through me.

I dressed for dinner and left my room to find my family. Emmett was perched on the counter sneaking a piece of lettuce out of the salad bowl next to him. He had a grin on his face like he was getting away with something but I would put money on the fact that my mom could count how many pieces he had stolen so far, it didn't matter one bit that she had her back to him.

As soon as I smelled the fresh garlic bread, my mouth was watering. I loved my mom's pasta because she always took the time to make it from scratch. I still didn't know where the woman found all the time to do what she did but I wasn't going to complain.

"Mom, you're killing me here, even the smell is making me hungry." I was only partially teasing her.

I leaned in for a kiss on the cheek and her hand came up to hold me close to her for a minute. She looked into my eyes and I could see her worried expression.

"I'm fine, mom," I whispered.

"Are you?" She whispered her question. "Are you really?"

I kissed her forehead and spoke a little louder. "Really, thanks for sending dad out for me."

"I knew he could help." She inhaled and a small blush showed her embarrassment. "The truth was the only thing that could. I'm not proud of…"

"Mom, it's not important anymore. Your love can't be questioned now, so none of it matters."

"Hello…I'm sitting right here." Emmett's voice echoed through the kitchen. "I _can_ hear you."

A smile broke across her face and she mouthed a 'thank you' to me before she turned back to the stove.

"And _I _can hear _you_ sneaking food over there, Emmett Cullen. Now get down from there and help your brother set the table. Dinner is ready."

The conversation flowed easily during dinner and the looks and worried expressions I expected to see weren't anywhere to be found. Dad was talking about a medical conference he was going to have to attend soon, mom told us about her new design project for one of the new doctors at the hospital and Emmett, of course, couldn't stop talking about Rosalie. Mom asked him to invite her and her parents over for dinner one night and his face lost all color.

"Mom, please, it's only been a week. Give me some time to get to know her first before we start meeting the parents."

She laughed, "It was just a suggestion, Emmett. She sounds like a lovely girl and I can't wait to meet her."

"Fine, but not yet." He tried to sound freaked out about bringing Rose here to meet them but I could see the pride on his face. He loved showing her off as his girlfriend.

"So, Edward, what time do you want to leave?" She directed her attention to me.

"Oh shit!" I looked at my watch, not realizing it was so late already. I realized my slip a second before her hand hit the back of my head. "Sorry, mom. I completely forgot."

"Did you have plans?" My dad was curious since I hadn't mentioned anything.

"Yeah, I totally forgot. I'm going shopping with Lauren tonight."

"Lauren, huh?" Emmett got a big grin on his face.

"Lauren?" My dad sounded confused. "I thought her name was…"

"It's a long story, dad." I excused myself and got up from the table to call Lauren.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Two hours later, I was bored and tired and I just wanted to go home. I had no idea what possessed me to agree to this. Not true, I knew exactly what it was and I was going to have to stop letting people guilt trip me into things. Lauren had been talking non-stop from the time we picked her up and the sound of her voice was pressing on every nerve in my body. This night just had to end.

She had talked me into sitting down for a bit to get some ice cream. I agreed and bought her some ice cream with the hope that, while she was eating it, she would stop talking, even if it would have only been temporary. I wasn't that lucky though, there was no stopping her. Twenty minutes later, we got up from the table and I casually looked at my watch, breathing a sigh of relief that the mall would be closing soon.

Lauren dragged me into the hundredth store of the night and I moved to look on the opposite side of the store from her. It was a nice little shop with a wide variety of things; jewelry and jewelry boxes, stationary sets and whole bunch of other things for girls. I was sure I could find something for Jessica here. Scanning the shelves, I found a small, silver-plated keepsake box. My mom had a bunch of these so I figured they were something a girl would like.

I picked out a box that had a rose on the top of it, it was pretty and I would be okay giving her this. I started walking to the register to pay when a different item that caught my eye. I took a couple steps to the side where the necklaces hung. It had to be a sign. The necklace was simple, dainty and perfect; I had to buy it.

With my items safely tucked away in my pocket, we left the store, heading for the exit to wait for my mom. I had called her before we walked into the store so she would come and get us soon after. I saw the car pull into the parking lot a couple of minutes after we got to the door. I led Lauren to the car and opened her door so she could get in first.

"So, did you both find what you wanted?" mom asked.

"Yes, it's perfect." She smiled at me and I gave her a small smile back.

Ten minutes later, we were dropping her off her the house. I walked her to the door and thanked her for inviting me to come with her. I told her I would see her at school on Monday and turned to make my escape from the hell of this night.

I rushed straight to my room when we got home and unloaded my pockets before getting ready for bed. I grabbed the bag I got from the store and sat on my bed. I put the box I bought for Jessica aside and sat there with the necklace in my hands. I couldn't believe how perfect it was. After staring at it for a few minutes, I wrapped it back up and crossed the room to hide it away in the bottom of my drawer.

I shut off the lights and climbed into bed. It wasn't late but I had to force myself to try and fall asleep. The last thing I needed was to oversleep tomorrow, knowing I was going to see Bella. My mind was restless but once I started thinking about her, I calmed down. I drifted toward sleep with the vision of what I wanted to happen when I was able to give my gift away. The scene in my head was perfect; I just hoped real life could be the same.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Emmett brought the car to a stop and I jumped out since I was already late. The window rolled down just after I closed the door.

"I'll pick you up here when I'm done, and don't make me wait or I'll kick your ass," Emmett threatened. "I've got things to do before my date with Rose tonight, so you better not make me late."

"Fine, just text me."

Thanks to Alice, I knew I had only missed a couple of her races but she told me Bella's big race was coming up in about fifteen minutes. I rushed in, paid my money and found a seat near the top of the stands. I searched the crowd of girls until I found her, sitting alone against the wall with her head leaning back. Her eyes were closed and her foot was tapping to whatever music was playing in her ear.

Ten minutes later, her coach tapped her on the arm to get her attention. She jumped up and stretched her arms over her head. _Holy shit, she looks good!_ She walked to the end of the pool where the rest of the girls were getting ready. I hadn't paid attention to a single race since I walked in but now she was walking up to the edge to start.

"You got this, Bells."

I heard the scream and looked down to where the voice was coming from. Sure enough, there was Jake. I knew he was here but I didn't expect to be sitting so close to him. Oh well, he wasn't my concern; I was here for Bella. I looked back to the pool and it looked like she was panicking and trying to get away from the pool. Her coach was doing her best to get her back to her spot since the race was about to start.

She finally got control of herself, shook her hands out, probably to clear the nerves, and her face smoothed out and she suddenly looked calm, but totally focused. I watched her take one last deep breath as she stood on top of the platform. They got ready to jump in and a second later the gun went off to start the race.

Damn she was fast. I barely had enough time to yell a few of my own encouragements towards her in the twenty seconds it took for her to glide through the pool and end the race. Her hand hit the wall, her head popped out of the water and she pulled the goggles from her eyes, turning to look directly at me.

_How did she even know I was here?_

Shit, I didn't care how she knew because, as soon as her eyes locked with mine, nothing else mattered anymore. Our connection had the same strength and intensity that it had the day we met and for the first time in month, I felt like I could really breathe again. Then, if the look wasn't enough to make me insanely happy, she smiled at me. She actually smiled at me and her hand came up for a small wave. I couldn't stop myself from returning it because it was the most she had given me since my first day here.

Our gaze was broken when her coach bent down to congratulate her. I took a breath to regain control of all my senses when my phone went off. It was Emmett and his timing couldn't have been more perfect. The race was over, she knew I was here for her and a small piece of our connection was there between us again. It was more than I could have asked for. I walked out the door to go meet Emmett but as I was walking through the hallway, I heard Jake's voice behind me and he sounded pissed.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing here, Cullen?"

"Watching a swim meet." I shrugged but continued walking.

His hand landed hard on my shoulder, spinning me around to face him. He was in my face so I pushed him away from me.

"What's your problem?"

"You're my fucking problem. I've seen you, Cullen, watching my girl; I know you want her. It's written all over your face."

He stepped closer to me but there was no way I was backing down. He wasn't as intimidating as he thought he was.

"Who the fuck do you think you are? You and your brother think you can come here and take any girl that you fucking want."

He moved another step closer and was inches from my face now. My hands opened and closed into fists several times before I got control over myself. I wouldn't be doing myself any favors if I hit him now.

"Your brother may have taken Rose from Collin but you can bet your ass that you aren't even gonna get close to Bella."

"That's for Bella to decide, not you." My eyes narrowed as the anger took over. "Besides, Jake," my teeth clenched together as I said his name, "I know who you really want, and it isn't Bella."

His eyes gave him away and I knew I was right. When Jasper told me about the other girl, Leah, I began to watch. I saw the looks he would give her and the way she would look back. It was obvious that they still had a thing for each other but I couldn't prove that they were doing anything other than looking. It was time to find out.

"You're not as good at hiding shit as you think you are. I've seen you, motherfucker, thinking you can sneak off and do whatever you fucking please and not get caught."

His eyes widened and he took a step back. The look on face was enough to tell me he was cheating on Bella. Knowing the truth now, I wanted to kill him for the pain he was going to cause her. I was ready…just one fucking word and it would be on.

"Sorry, Jake, but once I burst that little bubble of yours, who do you think she'll run to?"

I took my own step closer this time…taunting him.

"And, you know she will. You've seen her looking at me." I knew it was a lie, but he didn't. "You just saw it again, that's why you're out here instead of in there with her." I gave him one last push. "I'd bet you she even dreams of me at night."

"Fuck you, Cullen!"

I felt the punch hit my ribs and staggered back a couple of steps. The pain was nothing and I was on him, tackling him to the ground. I landed a couple of punches of my own to his ribs before he flipped us over, one of his fists caught my left cheek and the other hit me in the mouth. I tasted the blood from the split lip he just gave me.

"Bring it on, fucker!"

I landed one punch in his stomach, causing him to curl in on himself. As I pushed him off me, I kicked him and he slid into the wall. I scrambled over to him and grabbed the collar of his shirt to give myself leverage. I slammed his back into the wall twice and connected with a punch to the cheek.

"You think you can do whatever you want to her and its okay!"

The second punch landed at the top of his nose.

"I'm telling her everything you sorry son of a bitch!"

The third punch got him in the mouth and he was bleeding right along with me.

"I will NOT let you hurt her again!"

I was going for the fourth punch but I was pulled off of him. Emmett had his arms around me, dragging me away. Jake was groaning and I fought Emmett to get at him again; I wasn't done. The pent up frustration burst through the surface and I wanted to hurt him as much as…no, more than he ever hurt her. Jake started to get up and leaned against the wall, laughing.

"Let me go, Em! That piece of fucking shit is mine!"

"Good thing your brother's here to save you." He wiped his lip with his arm.

"Shut the fuck up, Jake, before I let him go." Emmett warned him.

He pushed away from the wall. "Let him go, then. He ain't shit."

Emmett twisted my body and carried me down the hall, fighting me the whole way. I struggled against him as hard as I could but he had an iron grip on me and he wasn't letting go. He dragged me all the way to the car and held me against it so he could open the door. He threw me into the seat.

"Don't fucking move."

Agitation mixed with anger wasn't a good combination for me and I was rocking back and forth, hitting the seat while beating my fists into my legs. Emmett slid into the car, slamming the door. His hand and arm hit hard on my chest, knocking me into the seat and he held me there.

"Calm the fuck down! What happened?"

Jake's words and the look in his eyes kept flashing through my head, feeding the anger. Emmett had me pinned to the seat and I knew he wasn't going to let me go no matter how hard I fought back. The pressure of his arm increased and his fist grabbed my shirt.

"Edward, fucking breathe damn it!"

He shook me and I realized that the pressure in my chest was my lungs fighting for air. Another jerk on my shirt and I finally took a deep breath. My breathing was heavy but I could feel the tension leaving my body and my muscles finally relaxed. Emmett must have felt the change because he let go of my shirt and backed away from me a little.

"Ed, you're not the fighting type, so what the hell happened in there?"

"Get me out of here, Emmett! Get me away from him."

My head was against the seat and my hands had a death grip on my hair. He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, putting distance between me and Jake.

"I'm done watching, Em. I can't sit back anymore and watch and just wait for it to happen."

"What does that even mean?"

Good question? What did it mean? How was I going to be able to tell her? She was going to be hurt either way but how was I, the guy she hates, going to be able to tell her that her boyfriend is a lying, cheating, son of a bitch.

"He basically admitted to cheating on her, Emmett."

"Shut the fuck up! He told you that?" He didn't believe me.

"He didn't come out and say it but by the look on his face, I knew it was true."

I spent the ride home explaining what happened to Emmett and going over all the possible ways I could tell Bella the truth. We decided that Jasper would have a little better insight because he was her friend so we called him up and told him what was going on. Unfortunately, he was with his parents now and hanging out with Alice tonight so our conversation was going to have to wait until the next day.

We pulled into the garage and walked into the house. I was heading to the stairs when I heard my mom yell.

"Oh God, Edward! What happened to you?" Her eyes were wide with fear. "Carlisle, get down here now!"

She rushed to me and held my face still to look at me. I almost forgot that my shirt had blood on it from my split lip. She ran her hands over my face, looking at all of the places that Jake hit me. My dad came running down the stairs in a panic.

"Mom, I'm fine. Please don't make a big deal about this?" I begged.

"Edward, you can't come home covered in blood and expect me not to be concerned." She led me to the couch and sat me down while she went to grab a washcloth to clean me up.

"Son, don't make your mom worry. What happened?" Dad, being a doctor, wasn't concerned with my condition.

"I got into a fight." I didn't want to have to explain this to them especially after what my dad told me yesterday.

"Edward, you know how I feel about fighting." My mom's disappointment hurt me.

"I know mom but it just sort of happened. It's not like I went there wanting to fight anyone." I looked at my dad and he looked embarrassed.

"Bella?" he questioned.

"Yeah but I really didn't mean to. He said some things and then I said some things back and then he hit me."

"He really held his own though." Emmett jumped in to break the tension. "You should have seen the other kid. If you ask me, I think we should get him into boxing and forget soccer."

His laugh made me laugh and then my dad joined in. My mom was happy that I wasn't hurt but she wasn't about to join in the laughter over the situation. She finished cleaning up my face, told me to go take a shower and then go sit in my room for a while and think about my actions. There was no way any of us were going to argue with her over this so I just did what she said and went to my room.

* * *

**Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed the brief look at Carlisle and Esme's relationship and the little meeting between Edward and Jacob. That part definitely took on a life of it's own. Don't forget, good or bad, I always love to hear what you think.**


	22. Starting A New Life

Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.

Thanks as always to my pre-reader Loulabelle and my beta AgoodWITCH for all of the input, great comments and overall support on my stories. I love you girls so much.

I can't forget all my WC girls for all the encouragement. Ladies, you are the best. Love ya tons

**A/N: Sorry again that this update has taken so long. I have the next chapter almost ready to go and the one after that is nearly done. I will get them out to you as fast as I can. Also, since it's been awhile, I've decided to give you a quick update of the last chapter. Enjoy and I'll see you at the end.**

* * *

_**Chp21 Recap: **__Edward had a talk with Carlisle, who basically told him he had the same problem with Esme that Edward is having with Bella. Carlisle's advice, "Don't give up." That same night, Edward had the night from hell as he accompanied Lauren to the mall for some shopping. The next day, Edward put his dad's advice to work when he showed up at Bella's swim meet. Unfortunately for everyone, Jake wasn't too thrilled that Edward was there and their fight left both boys bruised and bloody. Emmett dragged Edward away and took him home to clean up and cool off. Jake, however, is still there, waiting for Bella._

**Chapter 22 – Starting A New Life**

**BPOV**

Thirty minutes ago, I was having one of the best days I'd had in a month. I woke up thinking about Edward and Jacob, wondering if I could take my dad's advice. Then Jacob showed up to see me before I had to leave for the meet, which actually made up my mind for me. He loved me, I knew he did so I did the only thing that could make things right for us…I decided to put Edward out of my head for good; someone like him couldn't truly appreciate someone like me.

Jacob was the one for me, plain and simple. Our relationship was easy going, sure, we had a complicated past but that was what it was… the past, and that was where I was going to leave it. I heard him screaming like a crazy person all day when I would get up to race. He had absolutely no idea how much his words meant to me, causing me to push harder to win. His words and the two relays before my fifty gave me the confidence to believe I could win.

Then in a matter of seconds, Jacob was out of my mind and everything was a million times better, because I saw Edward in the stands. Just his presence sent my nerves into overdrive. I didn't know what he was doing there, but he made me want to fight harder than I ever had before for that win. I had an almost desperate need to make him see me differently, think of me differently and, in the end, hopefully want me. Then he smiled at me, and I let myself believe that the forbidden was possible, the out of reach was attainable and the misery I'd felt every day would be over.

But that was thirty minutes ago.

Thirty minutes ago, I watched the two most important people to me walk out the door.

Twenty-two minutes ago, I slipped and went crashing down on my wrist, twisting it.

Seventeen minutes ago, I tried to swim my final race, but my wrist wouldn't let me finish.

Eight minutes ago, I was changed and looking for Jacob, but secretly hoping to find Edward alone so we could talk.

Seven minutes ago, I was outside, sitting in front of my cut, bruised and beaten boyfriend, whose shirt was covered in blood.

Five minutes ago, I hated Jacob when he told me he fought Edward, giving him a few cuts and bruises of his own.

Four minutes ago, I listened as Jacob told me he was defending me, because Edward's plan was to make me the next girl on his long list.

Two minutes ago, I realized how stupid I was for thinking that Edward could care about me. How stupid I was for thinking I could finally have him the way I dreamed of. How stupid I was for thinking that he was even worthy of someone like me and how stupid I was for even considering throwing away what I had with Jacob for someone like him.

Just one short minute ago, my broken heart went cold and I hated Edward Cullen.

Jacob pulled me onto his lap, wiping the tears rolling down my cheeks before wrapping his arms around me. The embrace didn't last long before I pulled back to look at his face. I lifted my hand to trace the bruises that were starting to show. I shifted my body a little and he cringed as he sucked in a breath.

"I'm sorry, Jake. I'm sorry he hurt you." I left one hand on his face and touched his side with the other. "This is my fault. He wouldn't have…"

"Bella, I won't let you take the blame for this." He wiped more tears away then held my cheeks, making me look at him. "Bella," he touched his lips softly to mine, "you didn't do anything to make this happen. You didn't encouraged him and you didn't lead him to believe that he had any chance, did you?"

"No!"

My response was a little louder than I meant it to be, but I felt guilty. I couldn't keep my eyes off of Edward when he was in the same room with me. He obviously noticed my interest, and that smile and wave I just gave him didn't help matters any.

"I haven't even spoken to him. I don't know what would make him think that I would ever leave you for him."

Anger quickly replaced my guilt. I had no idea why Edward thought I was anything like Jessica, but if he thought he was going to add me to his "list" then he was sadly mistaken.

We talked a bit more before heading back inside so Jacob could clean up. There wasn't much we could do with his shirt, but at least the blood on his chin and hands was gone. We were in the hallway talking, waiting for the meet to be over when Charlie, Alice and Rosalie walked through the doors.

My dad immediately went into cop mode the second he saw Jacob, asking him if he knew the person who attacked him and if he wanted to press charges. Jacob told him that it was just another guy from school, who had a problem with him, but he took care of the guy and it wouldn't be happening again. He had to convince my dad not to call Billy, saying that it was over and it would just be a waste of time. He wasn't completely convinced, but he agreed to let it go for now.

Once he finished questioning Jacob, my dad turned his attention to me, asking how my wrist was and telling me that he would schedule an appointment with the doctor first thing Monday morning. The trainer wrapped it up when I fell and it was only a little sore right now, so hopefully there wasn't anything seriously wrong and I would be able to compete in the regionals in a few days. But with my luck, I wasn't expecting good news.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Saturday morning – state finals – our team did pretty good. One of our relay teams got a silver medal and three of our individual swimmers earned either bronze or silver medals. It was a good day and I was tired, but there was still enough light left for a short visit. So I grabbed my coat and a blanket and walked out the door.

The wind was blowing hard today and I could feel her with me. It felt good because I had needed her this past week. I wish I could have come sooner, but it just wasn't possible and all the tensions I had built up needed to be released.

"Hey mom. I know it's been awhile since I've been here and I'm sorry for that. Things have been crazy between practices and meets and spending time with Jake. I can't say that things are going to get better with my internship starting on Monday, but I'll do my best. I noticed that dad has come by more often. I can see the difference in him; he's talking to me more now and I mean really talking…you know, like you and I used to. It's strange, but it's really nice to have someone to talk to and give me advice again. I can't say I'm always going to take it, but it's nice for him to try.

Anyway, I have a little bit of bad news. We had our league meets the other day. You would have been so proud of me. I qualified for regionals and I almost beat your time. But, I was my normal klutzy self and fell before my last race. I fractured my wrist and I couldn't compete. So, I was stuck on the side cheering everyone on…it sucked. State finals were this morning and our team did pretty good…four medals all together. I wish I could have raced, but it wasn't meant to be. Oh well, there's always next year, right?

But mom, that wasn't the really bad news. Jake got into a fight and got hurt pretty bad. He told me he got into a fight with Edward. You remember him, right? I told you about him before. Jake was sticking up for me because Edward was saying some things that just weren't nice. I can't believe he turned out to be like this. He was so nice when we met, but he's not really like that. I wish he was because I really liked him. How could I have been so wrong?"

I blinked away the tears I felt welling up in my eyes as I thought of how everything had played out. I couldn't change it so I wasn't going to dwell on it.

"I do have something interesting to tell you. You remember Leah? Well, she actually talked to me last week. She saw me crying and acted like she cared about me, like we were still friends or something. She even had the nerve to ask me if things were okay with me and Jake. Can you believe that? Really…what did she think I was gonna say, "No Leah, we're fighting right now. Please go take my boyfriend again." I don't think so. I see her looking at him all the time and I know she still wants him. Why can't she just focus on her own boyfriend? Why does she have to keep trying to take Jake away from me?

I did kind of feel bad about one thing though. When she was talking to me, I pushed her against the locker really hard. I didn't mean to, but I was already upset and she just really made me mad." I laughed. "If I wasn't worried about getting kicked off the team, I might have punched her. I know you and dad have always told me not to get into fights but after everything she's done, could you blame me? I know you wouldn't, but dad might and I definitely don't want to get grounded again. I almost went crazy the last time."

The wind picked up and a light snow started to fall. I wanted to keep talking, but I didn't want to get caught in the snow.

"Bella." I heard my dad's voice behind me.

When I turned, I saw him standing by the car with my door opened for me. It was just like him to watch the weather and show up here to pick me up. Not that I mind at all, walking seven blocks in the snow was not one of my favorite things to do. I held up my finger to get one more minute.

"Sorry, mom, but I have to go. It's starting to snow and dad is here to pick me up. I know, I know he's overprotective, but at least I'll stay dry and warm, right?" I kissed my fingertips and placed them on her headstone. "I love you, mom. I miss you so much. I'll come by when I can. It may not always be easy, but I'll try."

I got up and jogged to the car. "Thanks for coming, dad."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Monday morning started with Charlie making my mom's famous french toast, usually reserved for special days. He said today qualified as special since it was the start of a whole new life for me. He praised me all through breakfast, telling me how smart I was, how much I deserved this and how he always knew such great opportunities would come my way. It was embarrassing, so I ate my breakfast as fast as I could and retreated back to my room.

Now that I was dressed and ready for school, I stood staring at myself in the mirror. Alice and Rosalie helped me pick out an outfit for today; a pair of black jeans, a plain white top and a black and gray vest. It was semi-professional looking, but simple enough to still be me. I stepped to my vanity and put on my lip gloss for the final touch.

"Today's the day, Bella. Make it count."

I smiled at my reflection, grabbed my coat and my bag and ran out the door. The second the door closed behind me, the day seemed to move at lightning speed. Faces blurred in the halls and every class seemed to end almost as soon as it began. Even the skank twins in science class couldn't shatter my mood today. I was flying high and in three hours I would be walking into the newspaper building to begin my new career. As excited as I was, there was still one thing I had to do first.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

I was spending the first half of my lunch hour today with Mr. Collins so he and I could go over the details of my new internship. I knocked on the door softly when I saw him on the phone. He motioned for me to go in and sit down. I walked in slowly, hoping not to disturb him.

"Yes, David… I will make sure she knows." He paused. "And you have all her paperwork ready… good… she'll be there. Thank you, David. We'll talk soon."

He flipped his cell phone closed and turned his attention to me.

"Thanks for meeting me, Miss Swan. I have someone bringing us some food so we can work straight through the hour. There is quite a bit of information we need to go over before you begin your internship." He smiled as he pulled some files out of his drawer.

I could barely contain my excitement as I signed all the paperwork needed to get my access badge for the newsroom. I couldn't believe that this was finally happening. They told me about this a few months ago and I have been waiting, not so patiently to get my hands on some real news stories.

"Miss Swan, this is a huge step in the right direction for you. Remember, Mr. Sawyer will be evaluating your performance weekly and sending that information to me so you can still receive the proper grade for my class."

We both stood up as our time was just about up. He walked to his desk and took a journal from his briefcase and handed it to me. I took it, but I was confused by why he would give it to me.

"Mr. Collins, you know I can't take this. You're not allowed…"

I didn't know what else to say. He shouldn't be giving me gifts. He chuckled, probably knowing where my mind was headed.

"I assure you there is no meaning behind this. I know you'll need something to take notes in today and I didn't know if you had and extra notebook with you. This is my way of showing you that I will always be available to you if ever you need help." He sat casually on the edge of his desk. "You're talented Miss Swan. I don't meet many students at your age that can write the way you do and I want you to have the very best opportunities available to you."

With a smile and a thousand thank yous, I left his room. I turned to make my way down the hall but ran right into Edward on my way. I almost fell but he caught me and held me up. I couldn't move for a second as I looked him in the eye. My hands were on his shoulders as he steadied me.

"Bella, I…I didn't…I'm sorry…shit…are you okay?"

I nodded, unable to speak while I was this close to him.

"Listen Bella, I want you to… no…I've been waiting…no that's not right." He took deep breathe. "Sorry. Bella, I've wanted to get you alone so we could…"

"What!" I finally found my voice and it wasn't quiet. "Who the hell do you think you are? You think I would ever be alone with you! What kind of…"

"Hey, what's going on out here?"

Mr. Collins came out of his classroom just as Edward let me go. I stumbled back a bit but kept my balance. He stepped in between us and looked back and forth from me to Edward.

"Young man, what do you think you're doing?"

"I'm sorry, sir. Bella and I were talking and…"

"Talking!" I screamed. "I have nothing to say to you! Nothing! Do you hear me? EVER!"

I ran off in the opposite direction and didn't look back. Tears were clouding my vision as I ran straight into the bathroom and locked myself in the stall. I sat down and pulled my feet up so no one would know I was here. With no noise to distract me, Jacob's words entered my mind.

"_Bella, he told me wants to have sex with you. He said Jessica's too easy and he wants more of a challenge."_

The tears fell harder and my cries weren't so silent anymore. Jacob had apologized like crazy for having to be the one to tell me what Edward said but he thought I needed to know. I knew he just wanted to protect me but it hurt so bad to hear what he had to say.

_How could you have been so wrong, Bella? How could you have fallen for someone like that?_

I heard the bathroom door open and I pressed my mouth to my knee to keep myself quiet. I didn't want anyone to know I was in here.

"My God, can you believe how stupid she is?"

The annoying voice I had to listen to all through science class was now invading my privacy. Shit, I really didn't need to deal with Jessica right now.

"Who would ever turn Edward down? I mean really he is so totally hot."

"I know right." Lauren's voice came next. "Besides, why would he want her when we were just together last weekend?"

"Ugh…slut. You were with Edward last weekend." Jessica sounded shocked. "And you didn't tell me!"

"Hell yeah, we were together all night Friday night."

I felt my chest tighten at her words. He was with her Friday and then thought he could come see me on Saturday. _How could I be so stupid?_

"That's okay, girl. I was done with him anyway." They both giggled like little girls. "You just make sure you spill all the details after you've had a piece of that."

I heard their shoes click on the tile floor, the sound of the door opening and a high pitched scream echoed in the room.

"I'm bleeding! Oh my God, I'm bleeding! Help, Lauren…ow it hurts!"

"Then take your ass to the nurse you skanky bitch." Alice's voice filled the room. "Go on, get the hell out."

"Get away…stop pushing…" The rest of Lauren's words were cut off by the closed door.

"Bella! Bella, are you in here?"

When I didn't answer right away, I heard the door open again as she ran out of the room. I wasn't ready to talk to her. After the last fight we got into about Edward, I didn't want to hear what she would have to say about this. She was going to go ballistic.

I was sure Alice had all of them looking for me by now but I wasn't ready to face anyone, so I just sat in the quiet room and cried alone. I wish I could just go and talk to my mom right now but by the way my cell phone is vibrating constantly, I knew that would be the first place Jacob would go look if he knew. I was stuck here, dealing with this alone.

I sat in the empty room, thinking about how nice and sweet Edward was that first day. It killed me to think it was all an act, but there was no other explanation. He admitted to Jacob that he only wanted me for sex. Jessica was too easy for him and obviously so was Lauren if they were together last week. I was his challenge and now he wanted to get me alone so he could make his move.

I had to quit thinking about him; all it did was cause me pain. My head was pounding, my eyes were burning from the tears and the twisting in my stomach made me feel like I was going to throw up. I had to push him out of my mind any way I could and it had to start now.

I pulled out my phone and saw twenty-seven text messages, most of them from Jacob and Alice but there were a few others thrown in. I couldn't let them worry about me so I sent Alice, Rosalie and Jasper a message that said I was okay and I would talk to them tomorrow. After that was done, I sent one more.

**Meet me outside by the pool…B**

**Bella where the hell are you…J**

**Doesn't matter. Will you meet me…B**

**On my way…J**

I didn't send anything back. I just left my hiding place, splashed some water on my face and ran as fast as I could to go meet Jacob. I don't know where he was when I sent the message but he was already there waiting for me. I could see the concerned look on his face and it only got worse the closer I got.

I slowed to a walk a few feet in front of him but he closed the distance and wrapped me in his arms. Feeling the warmth of his embrace had me crying again. His hand was stroking my hair and his face was nuzzling my neck.

"Bella, are you okay?" He lightly kissed my neck and lifted his head to look at me, while placing one hand on my cheek. "I heard what happened and we've been looking for you everywhere. Please tell me you're okay and that he didn't hurt you because of he did,I'll kill…"

I cut him off before he could finish. "No Jake, I'm fine. He didn't hurt me. I swear."

As much as I hated Edward right now, I couldn't let Jacob go after him…not after the last fight they had. Jacob ended up with a black eye, a cut on his nose, a slip lip and more bruises than I could count. Edward didn't look any better and I wasn't going to let them fight over me.

"Bella, will you tell me what happened? Please?"

I searched his eyes and knew he only wanted the truth. Telling him wasn't going to be easy because I just wanted this to go away but it was the only way I was going to let Edward go. I tried to speak but I couldn't. I turned my back on him and took a few steps away and that seemed to help me regain some of my nerve. I looked at the ground as I spoke.

"Jake, before I tell you, you have to know that I am so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen and I never wanted to hurt you."

"Bella, you're freaking me out here." His hand was on my arm, trying to turn me around but I fought to stay where I was. "Come on Bella, don't be that way." He tried again.

"Stop, Jake. I don't even want you to look at me right now."

"What's going on, Bella? You know you can talk to me."

I believed him. He was always there for me to talk to when I needed him. I turned to face him, took a deep breath and confessed.

"It started on my birthday."

I cried as I told him the whole story. I told him everything from the day I first met Edward, finishing with what happened today in the hall. The guilt nearly killed me as I saw the pain in his eyes when I told him how much I thought of Edward and dreamed about him all the way up to the night before the meet.

"You asked me if I did anything to encourage him and I guess I did. I started this, Jake, and I'm so sorry." My head was in my hands, I couldn't look at him.

The next thing I knew, his arms were around me again as he held me tight against his chest. Being this close to him made me feel even more guilty than I did before. How could he want to be anywhere near me when I was such a bad person?

"Bella, don't cry. Please don't cry." His hand ran up and down my back, soothing me. "It's going to be okay."

When I could take my hands away from my face, they went around his waist and Jacob held me until I stopped crying. The irony of this whole situation wasn't lost on me. This all started with me, crying in Edward's arms because of Jacob and now it was ending with me crying in Jacob's arms because of Edward. Only this time, there was one huge difference. Being here like this with Jacob, I was comfortable, but I was still completely aware that we could get caught at any minute. But with Edward, time meant nothing and the whole world slipped away, leaving the two of us in a space all our own. Before I had a chance to think about what that meant, Jacob stepped away from me.

"Bella, look at me." My eyes met his. "How can I hold any of this against you when I've done things to hurt you too?" He kissed my forehead. "I never expected to be with you this long and I'm not ready to give you up yet."

He looked like he was ready to cry. I knew I hurt him but I didn't know how much. I wanted to say something but he wasn't finished.

"I already knew there was something between you two. I saw you together on your birthday, I saw you looking at each other every time you were in the same room and I saw the way you looked at each other after your race."

He took a deep breath and his forehead touched mine. His eyes were closed and I could see the moisture on his eyelashes. If he was looking at me, there would be tears in his eyes. His voice was soft as he spoke his next words.

"So please Bella, if you want Cullen then just tell me and I won't stand in your way. I'll still be here for you because no matter what, you're still my best friend and I love you."

His words broke my heart. "No, don't say that. I told you about him so you would know why I was so hurt, but I'm not going anywhere, Jake. I love you too much to let someone like Edward Cullen come between us."

His eyes opened and he was smiling. "You mean it? You don't want him?"

"No, Jake. I'm your girl and I'm not giving you up."

My laugh echoed in the open space as he picked me up, swinging me in circles. The kiss he gave me as he set me back down again was more than I expected when I first came out here because I thought he would leave me when I told him everything. He didn't though, and now we were free of whatever hold Edward had over me. I was going to let him go and I needed Jacob to help me do just that.

Just as he broke our kiss, the bell rang signaling the end of fifth period. As much as I hated to leave him, I knew we had to get back inside for our next class.

"Come on, we better get back before your dad kills us both."

He grabbed my hand, pulling me toward the main building. We didn't have long to get to our next class so as soon as we walked through the doors, he gave me a short kiss and we ran in opposite directions. After a quick stop at my locker, I was ready for my last class of the day. My dad was picking me up right after class and I was going to be spending my seventh period down at the newspaper as I began my internship.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

**EPOV**

_What did I do wrong?_

It all happened so fast. One minute I had Bella in my arms and for the first time, I had her close enough to actually talk to her. Then the next minute, she was screaming at me, telling me that she never wanted to talk to me again. Then she was gone and I was stuck in the hallway with her teacher telling me that I needed to treat girls with respect.

The whole time he was talking all I wanted to do was go find her and finally get all this cleared up. I didn't care anymore if I had to physically drag her away to get one minute alone with her. I had to know what would make her act like that towards me when all I wanted to do was get her to stop and talk to me.

When her teacher was done talking, I was out the door, phone already in my hand, running in the same direction she went. I had no idea where to start and I needed help.

"Hey Edward, what's up?"

"Alice, meet me at Bella's locker now!"

I had never spoken so forcefully to a girl in my life and I was sure my mom would have killed me for using that tone but I didn't have time to wait.

"What's wrong? What happened? Is Bella okay?"

"Just get there!"

I hung up the phone and was running toward Bella's locker. My eyes were scanning the crowd on the way, hoping to find her in the crowd but I didn't see her anywhere. Alice pounced on me as soon as I came into view.

"Where's Bella? What's going on, Edward?"

As I began to explain what happened, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper made their way over to us. They heard the majority of what I said, so I didn't have to repeat myself. Alice turned and started telling each of them what to do and where to look.

"Rose, send her a message and see if she answers you. Jasper, you too. We need to find her."

"Come on, where could she go? Is it really that urgent?" Emmett asked.

That earned him an elbow in the gut from Rose, and I was about to go off on him for being an insensitive ass but Alice spoke first.

"I've seen her, Emmett. If she was that hurt, she'll completely shut down." The look in Alice's eyes begged him to understand. He said okay and then he took off with Rose while she sent her message to Bella.

"I'm gonna call Jake," Jasper offered.

"Screw Jake! He doesn't have anything to do with this." Alice was pissed.

"I know you don't like him, Alice, but who is this about…him or Bella."

I never understood how Jasper could always be so calm in any situation, but that was just how he was and right now, I was thankful for that.

"Fine…call him!" She turned to me. "Edward, you go check outside either by the pool or in the parking lot and I'm gone check a few places here where I think she would hide."

We had all gone find her in the directions Alice sent us. There had to be some logical explanation for her reaction and I was going to find out exactly what that was. She wasn't going to get away from me this time. I needed to find her because this had gone on long enough.

Searching the parking lot got me nowhere and she wasn't by the pool either. Text messages were flying back and forth with everyone checking in and relaying the messages that they hadn't found her yet. I sent my own before running back into the building to meet up with everyone at Bella's locker again. I think we hoped she would show up there, knowing that class was going to be starting in a few minutes.

"Look, I know we have to find her, but I can't miss this class," Emmett said. "I have to go. I'm sorry."

"We all do, Em. Don't worry about it. We'll find her."

I let Emmett off the hook. I wasn't going to make any of them skip class because I was freaking out trying to find her. We talked for a few more minutes about what we would do after this class was over. Just as everyone was about to walk away, Alice, Rose and Jasper's phones all went off at the same time. It was a text from Bella saying she was okay and that she would see them tomorrow. They were relieved that everything seemed to be okay with her but I still didn't feel right about all of this. Something was going on with her and I was going to figure out what it was.

An hour later, Emmett, Jasper and I were walking through the hall to sixth period when I stopped in my tracks. I saw Bella kissing Jake just before she ran off in towards her locker. Jake turned away from her to head in our direction. He noticed me standing there, watching him and his cocky grin sprung up on his face. He didn't move an inch, staring me down like he had something to say. It didn't last long though; he took four steps to close the distance, walking with a little strut and sticking out his chest like some arrogant peacock.

"What the fuck do you want, Jake?"

My eyes scanned him from head to foot as I spoke. I wasn't impressed by his little show and he was going to have to try harder if he wanted to intimidate me.

"How does it feel?" His smirk grew as his tone taunted me.

"What?" I snapped at him. I was in no mood to deal with his ass right now.

"To lose."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

Emmett's hand was on my shoulder and I knew he sensed trouble. Jake was laying this shit on thick, trying to get me to go after him again.

"_My girl_," he stressed the words, "will _never_ want anything to do with you."

My temper flared, but I wasn't able to ask what that meant because it was taking all of my strength to fight the urge to punch the smug look off his face. Emmett's tightened grip helped too, but I wasn't going to touch him because I knew that was what he wanted.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Face it, Cullen…you lost." Then his eyes narrowed. "Bella is mine." He laughed in my face and turned his back on me.

"You son of a bitch!" I lunged at him. Emmett's grip slipped a little but not enough to let me go and Jasper's arm caught me around the waist. I fought against them but they had too good a hold on me and I couldn't get out of their grip.

"Get off me!" I yelled as I tried to push away.

"Edward, calm down. You can't go after him now. You know that'll make things worse." Jasper's calm attitude was starting to piss me off. "We need to find out what happened. I don't want her hurt any more than you do, but we can't do anything until we know what's going on."

"That's bullshit, Jasper!" My anger shifted from Jake to him. "You've been here this whole fucking time just watching this shit go down! How did you even let it get this far if you knew how he was?"

"I already told you how she is, Edward." He was starting to lose his temper. "You have _no idea_ what she's like with him! There _is no talking_ to her."

"Maybe_ you_ just haven't tried hard enough," I accused.

"Like you've done such a good job." He was in my face now. "What the hell have_ you_ been doing for the past month? You think you're all in love with her but you haven't made a single move to get her away from him."

That stopped me cold because he was right. I wanted Bella away from that asshole more than anything, but I never did one thing to make it happen.

"Don't even think you can question how I've dealt with this whole thing until you step up and be a fucking man." He shoved me back a little and I didn't do anything to stop him. "Stop hiding around corners, waiting for her to come to _your_ damn ass because it's never gonna happen unless you tell her how you feel."

Emmett stepped in between us then. He had a hand on both our shoulders.

"Chill the fuck out already! This isn't helping anyone. You both know his punk ass did that shit on purpose to piss Edward off. Don't give him the added satisfaction of making you two fight."

He shook our shoulders and we both looked at him.

"Listen, you both care about her so you need to be working together to deal with that piece of shit. We have to talk to Rose and Alice 'cause there is no way you're gonna be able to do this without them, Edward."

His grip tightened and he looked back and forth between us to make sure he had our attention.

"So the two of you need to cool your shit, before I kick both your asses."

I realized I shouldn't have taken my anger out on Jasper. He'd never done anything to help Bella get away from Jake, but at least he was there to support her if she needed it. With a nod and a fist bump, we gave each other a silent apology. The bell rang to start sixth period and the three of us took off running to class.

* * *

**Things for Edward and Bella keep getting more and more screwed up. No matter how hard she tries, Bella can't keep her mind off of Edward, but Jake and his lies have really done a number on her and she's naïve enough to believe them. Will he get caught in the lies or won't he? Will Edward find a way to make Bella stop and listen? Your guess is as good as mine. **

**Until next time, thanks for reading and sticking with me. All your alerts and favorites mean the world to me. Keep them coming and, as always, I love to hear what you think. So, let me know how stupid you think Bella is or how Jake just needs to get what's coming to him or how Edward needs to just knock Bella over the head and run away with her…"caveman style". I'll take every theory and opinion you've got and who knows, you may be right.**


	23. Learning The Ropes

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.**

Thanks as always to my pre-reader Loulabelle and my beta AgoodWITCH for all of the input, great comments and overall support on my stories. I love you girls so much.

A/N: I know I have been so bad at updating this one. I am finally getting to the place I want to be with this and the inspirations are coming faster than before. Hopefully I can keep the updates coming more regularly. Thanks for sticking with me. You have all my love for that.

* * *

_**Chp22 Recap:**__ Bella finished her swim meet only to find Jake bleeding on the sidewalk. He told her his version of the fight and, of course, she believed him, causing her to start hating Edward. Bella freaked out when Edward tried to talk to her in the hall and Jake's words were confirmed when she overheard Jessica and Lauren talking about Edward from her hiding place in the bathroom. She ran straight to Jacob and confessed all her feelings for Edward in hopes to get over him. Edward and the rest of the group tried to find Bella after she ran off but couldn't. After Jacob and Bella parted ways, he felt the need to taunt Edward, which caused a fight between Edward and Jasper that was quickly broken up by Emmett. Edward agreed that he needed Alice and Rosalie's help to get through to Bella, so they were going to have to plan. Bella filled out her paperwork for the newspaper and is now ready to start her internship._

**Chapter 23 – Learning the Ropes**

**BPOV**

I took a few deep breaths as we pulled up in front of the news building. I was nervous and my hands were sweating as I sat there staring at the one place where dreams could come true.

"It's time, Bells." My dad's hand was on my shoulder. "You don't want to be late."

I turned my head to look at him and he looked like he was ready to cry but I wasn't quite sure why he would.

"This is your break, Bells. I know how long you've wanted this and I am so proud of you right now."

Now he was going to make me cry. "Dad, stop. You're making me more nervous than I already am."

"Sorry." His expression completely changed to his 'cop' face. "Now you get in there and show them what you got."

I leaned over and kissed his cheek before jumping out of the car and making my way inside to the security desk. They were supposed to call Mr. Sawyer to meet me. Not even ten minutes later, I was standing in front of the man who gave me the biggest opportunity of my life.

"Miss Swan," he held out his hand to me, "it a pleasure to finally have you here."

"Thank you, Mr. Sawyer. You have no idea what this means to me. I promise, I will work harder than anyone and I will not let you down."

I was babbling but I couldn't help it. He laughed, obviously amused with my words.

"I have no doubt that you will do just fine." His smile stayed on his face after his laughter stopped. "Well, you have a lot to do today, so let's get started."

My heart was racing as he walked with me to the elevator and pressed the button. After a short elevator ride, the ding signaled we reached our destination. I had to make sure to keep my breathing steady; otherwise I would end up hyperventilating from all the excitement. The doors opened and he motioned for me to exit first.

I looked around the crowded room with my mouth hanging open. The room was buzzing with activity. One man ran through the middle of the room and threw himself into a chair as he picked up his phone. Others were walking through so fast they may as well have been running as they disappeared down other hallways. The noise in the room was a constant rumbling of voices as phones were being answered and conversations were held over the tops of cubicle walls and in hallways.

I turned to Mr. Sawyer who was looking down at me, still with the smile on his face.

"Not what you expected is it?"

"Not really. I don't mean to sound naïve or anything but I thought newspaper offices were quieter than this." He raised his eyebrows and I realized what I said. "I'm sorry. I don't mean that a newspaper doesn't have a lot going on because I know it takes a lot to get the news out. I just meant that I expected this kind of thing from a TV news show. Newspapers should be more laid back."

"You watch too much television, Miss Swan." He started laughing again. "It's true we are slightly more laid back than a television news program but our reporters still have to work hard to get their stories in before we go to print." He looked at his watch. "We have exactly two hours and thirty-seven minutes to meet our deadline."

I was surprised that he had the time down to the exact minute. That caused an interesting question to pop into my head.

"How often do your reporters miss their deadlines?"

The smile left his face. "More often than I would like. It's tough to have a big story come in and not be able to give it the proper coverage while other papers have the whole story. I don't like it, but it happens."

"So do you run partial stories or do you wait until a piece is done?" I was sure I knew the answer but I felt the need to ask.

"That would depend on the importance of the story. If it's a big story that needs to be covered immediately, we'll put a team on it so we don't have to print an unfinished piece. However, if it's something that cannot be done for one reason or another, we'll do a write up with a line that says there will be more to follow."

I turned my attention back to the room with wide eyes as I watched everyone rush to make the coming deadline.

"Well Miss Swan, shall we get started?"

"Yes!" I blushed when my eagerness had my answer come out a little louder than necessary.

He walked me to his office so I could put my things away and pick up my security badge. I grabbed my new notebook, which I realized was the perfect gift from Mr. Collins, because I didn't have anything to take notes on. I followed Mr. Sawyer out of the office where he began introducing me to some of the reporters I would be working with.

We spent the next two and a half hours meeting reporters and taking a tour of the building. I really didn't expect there to be so much involved in putting a newspaper together, but I had definitely been given proof to show me differently.

We headed back to Mr. Sawyer's office, and we were going over my schedule for the next four months. He had decided that I would work closely with reporters from all different areas of the paper. I would be working with two reporters every month for two weeks each. I needed to learn the ins and outs of each of the different topics included in the paper. I was going to be working side by side with real reporters, learning from them and getting the firsthand experience I needed to start my own journalism career.

"Miss Swan, there are two things you need to remember. First…this is a job and you are going to have to work hard to keep up around here."

"I promise you, Mr. Sawyer, I will work harder than anyone you have ever had in my position."

He quieted me with one look. "I'm sure you will. Second…you are still going to have to work to earn a grade for your journalism class." He took a folder from his desk. "I've sent the details of your schedule to Mr. Collins and he and I have come to a decision. During each of your two week assignments, you'll be required to write your own story pertaining to the subject you will be working on. You will give each one to me first so I may look it over. I'll keep a copy of each one to give you my critique of your work. I will then forward it to your school so you can receive the proper credit for your grade." He raised his eyebrow. "Is this acceptable to you?"

"Yes, Mr. Sawyer. I understand." I nodded, writing his instructions down in my notebook so I knew what my responsibilities would be. "Is there a particular word count that will be required for each story?"

He smiled and nodded back. "Good question. Each part of the paper has a set amount of space that we can use. Each journalist you work with will give you the standard count for their section."

"Why are they different?" I was curious.

His smile grew and it seemed I was asking the right questions.

"We have our major news stories which have top priority and the highest counts. Then our sports section, arts & leisure and so on. You'll get the information when you start tomorrow."

My pen furiously scratched the paper as I wrote down all my notes. Thankfully, he waited for me to finish before he started to speak again.

"So Miss Swan, are you ready for all of this or have I given you enough information to send you running for the hills?"

"No Sir, I am completely ready for this. I won't let you down."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~

On the way home, my dad took me to dinner to celebrate my first day on the job. It wasn't anything fancy, just a quick bite to eat at the pizza place. I was tired after such a long and emotionally draining day. I just wanted to get home, settle into my pajamas and relax. I was even tempted to let my homework go for one night, but I knew I couldn't. I had already been warned about letting my school work slide during this internship and I wasn't going to let it happen. After a kiss on the cheek, my dad went to the living room to watch his game and I headed to my room to change and get started on my work.

I was changed and in bed with my books spread out around me while I wrote the up my lab notes from science class today. I wasn't getting very far because I was too excited to pay too much attention in class, and my frustration was starting to show. Just before I threw my notebook across the room, my phone rang.

"What?" I growled at the person on the other end of the line.

"Sorry doll, is this a bad time?"

I felt bad for not checking the caller ID before answering. I shouldn't have taken my frustrations out on Jacob like that.

"Sorry Jake. I'm just frustrated. This science lab is killing me." I took a calming breath. "How was the rest of your night?"

"Pretty boring without you."

"It's not like you see me every night anyway," I said.

"I know that." He sounded a little sad. "Oh hey, guess what?"

His voice picked up an excited tone. And that was what I loved about Jacob; he could be down one second and up the next.

"I'm too tired to guess," I whined.

He laughed. "Okay, you know practice starts next week right? Well, the coach called me and Sam into his office today and he already made Sam the defensive captain for next year's team."

"That's awesome, but what does that have to do with you?" I was curious.

"I was getting there." He laughed at my impatience. "Okay, so Sam is going to be captain, but he told me that I was going to be the back-up goalie for the varsity team. How fucking cool is that?"

"You're kidding." I was shocked and excited for him. "Jake, that's amazing. I thought they didn't put you on the varsity team until your junior year."

"I guess they changed their minds. I don't know and I honestly don't care. The coach saw how good I am and moved me right up."

He was talking a mile a minute about what he needed to do to get ready for the new season and hitting the gym to build more strength. I just listened, not wanting to intrude on his excitement.

"Hey, I think we need to celebrate." His suggestion made me nervous.

"Jake, you know I…"

"I know, I know. You don't like the fancy stuff, but it doesn't have to be all that. It could just be us, nothing over the top." He paused for a second. "I'm gonna be with my dad tomorrow, but how about Wednesday? I'll come over with some food and some movies and we could just hang out."

"Okay, as long as you promise…nothing over the top." He was so excited; I just didn't have the heart to turn him down.

"I promise."

I knew him well enough to know he was grinning from ear to ear right now. He always did when he got his way and he knew I couldn't deny him much of anything. I always gave in and let him get his way.

"Hey Jake, I would love to keep talking, but I really have to get this lab written up. Can I talk to you tomorrow?"

"Sure, I didn't mean to interrupt; I just had to tell you."

"It's okay. I needed the break," I assured him. "I love you. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Goodnight doll."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Wednesday morning came quicker than I expected, and I was standing at the bus stop, wondering where Tuesday went. It was like it didn't even happen. I hadn't quite gotten used to my new schedule yet. It had only been a few days and I figured it would take at least a week to figure out a routine that worked for me, and then I would be okay.

"Bella!"

Alice called my name and I turned to see her running towards me with a huge smile on her face. She stopped right next to me, bouncing on the balls of her feet. I knew she had some good news she wanted to tell me. I put my hands on her shoulders to force her to stand still.

"Good morning." I could barely hold her down. "What exactly did Jasper do for you now?"

"Who said he did anything?" She tried to hide the smile but it came back in seconds.

"That look right there, Alice Brandon, says something's up. Now spill it."

"Jasper is going to take me to La Dolce Vita for dinner tonight. Can you believe it?"

Her voice went up about three octaves by the end of her question, hurting my ears a little.

"Alice, that place is super expensive. You can't expect Jasper to take you someplace like that!"

I was kind of angry that she would let him do it. La Dolce Vita was one of the best and most expensive Italian restaurants around and it was definitely not the type of place a fifteen year old could afford. Not everyone had the kind of money her family had. I shook my head and thought of another question.

"Wait, how are you even getting there? It's like forty-five minutes away."

"We're going with his parents, Bella. My mom and dad have plans tonight so I would have been home alone. Jasper said he wanted to do something special for Valentine's Day so his parents are gonna take us." She was bouncing again. "We even get to sit at our own table and everything, like a real date. Isn't that so sweet? I love him so much."

"Wait, its Valentine's Day already." I was surprised. I didn't realize it was already here.

"Honestly, Bella." She looked at me like I was losing my mind. "You didn't know? Isn't Jake doing anything for you?"

"He's coming over to hang out tonight. We're just going to watch movies."

"Seriously, that's it? Some boyfriend you have there, Bella." Her attitude change was immediate and she turned her back on me. "I bet Edward would have done something."

She mumbled the last part to herself, but I heard every word. I was really tired of Alice's little comments. She and I had another huge argument about Edward last week after I found out what he said about me. I told her then that I didn't even want to hear his name mentioned around me, but she just kept pushing. Not wanting to argue with her in front of everyone, I decided to let it go for now.

School moved quickly again, every class running into the next and before I knew it, it was lunchtime. I was running late and the girls were already waiting for me so I ran to my locker to put my stuff away. I ripped it open with more force than I should have and a few of my things fell to the floor. As I picked them up, I noticed a small card lying on the floor with the rest of my stuff. I put my things away slowly as I stared at the pink card with my name written on it. I looked around, thinking I would see whoever left this for me, but it was lunchtime and the hall was empty. My eyes were drawn back to the card in my hand and I had to open it.

_One look from your beautiful eyes could take my breath away_

_One word from your perfect lips could stop my heart_

_One touch from your delicate hand could set my body on fire_

_One look, one word, one touch could send me to heaven_

_Happy Valentine's Day, Bella_

The words surprised me and I looked around again. I didn't really expect to find someone hiding around the corner, waiting for me to find it, but it didn't stop me from looking. I read the words again and again and again; they were beautiful and my heart beat faster as I thought of someone actually sitting down and writing something like this for me.

"Bella, what are you doing here? We've been waiting for you." Alice shook my shoulder.

I was sitting in front of my locker just staring at the card when I looked up and saw Alice and Rosalie standing over me.

"What's that?" Alice asked as they both sat down with me.

"I just found this in my locker."

Alice took the card, holding it between the two of them so they could read it. Her eyes widened, she looked at Rosalie, and they both smiled and looked back at me.

"Wow Bella, this is beautiful. I didn't know Jake could write like this." Rosalie handed the card back.

"Jake didn't do this. There's no way." I knew Jacob would never write something like this. He just didn't have it in him. "Besides, this isn't his handwriting. It's too…nice."

"So you're saying you have _no idea_ who wrote this?" Alice's raised eyebrows, questioning me.

"No. No one I know would ever write something like this."

I stood up and turned back to my locker again, looking at the card one more time before I folded it back up and placed it inside. It was sweet and made me smile more than I had in a long time. Even if I never found out who wrote it, such beautiful words couldn't be thrown away. I had to keep it.

Rosalie put her hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry, we'll figure it out."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~

The next week and a half passed in no time. Thankfully, school was easy enough to keep up with because work was killing me. Mr. Sawyer wanted to start me out slow, so he started me off in the travel section. There were five staff writers that worked to put that section together. They covered things like how to travel with kids, the best places to go on a family vacation, the hottest resorts for a romantic getaway and even what to do while getting ready for a trip.

I never expected it to cover so many different topics and there was a ton of research involved. I spent most of my time working with the each member of the staff to learn the most reliable websites to get their information from, what exactly they looked for and how to put it all together to make it interesting enough to include in the paper.

I learned so much in just two weeks that I had filled two notebooks with notes, different research websites and some information and pictures of different locations that I found to be my particular favorites, thinking maybe I could visit those places someday. I looked through the notebooks before I put them away, my fingers lingering on the picture of a beach at sunset. I started visualizing a trip there; maybe after graduation we could all take a trip. I would talk to the girls about it later. It was never too early to plan.

I put everything away and went downstairs to take stock of the food in the kitchen. I had finally settled into a routine and I found myself preparing meals a day ahead of time so they could just be put in the oven when I got home or I would buy things to put in the crock-pot so dinner could cook while we were gone and be done when we got home.

Once I made a list of everything I would need for the week, I asked my dad for a ride to the store. He dropped me off and went to run a quick errand so I had twenty minutes to get in and out before he got back. I moved through the aisles throwing items in the cart and just as I left the produce section, heading to the cashier, I watched Emmett walk through the doors with Edward and Jessica right behind him.

The three of them were laughing and carrying on and Jessica kept touching Edward's arm or his hand and Emmett elbowed her once and she dramatically threw herself into Edward so he would catch her. She may have not been a challenge for him, but he sure didn't mind keeping her around. I couldn't stand around watching their display, so I pushed my cart past them to get to the cashier.

"Bella." I heard him call my name and a pain shot through my chest. "Bella, wait."

"Come on, Edward. We have to get the stuff for your mom before we're late."

I heard Jessica calling him and it just made the pain worse. He never said another word, so I assumed he left with her.

_Why is he back with her anyway? I guess he didn't get enough last time. _

I paid for my groceries and left the store, hating Edward even more.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Days were flying by and I began measuring time by the amount of notebooks I filled with all the information I collected for the section of the paper I happened to be working on at the time. Two or three per subject seemed to be the average for me. I was learning so much, but I hadn't found anything to really hold my interest long enough to want to write about it forever.

I breezed through the Lifestyles section because I was able to write my piece on fashion. I hated to say that Alice helped more than she should have, but it got me an A on my assignment. Next came Politics and while I learned a lot, I realized that it wasn't anything I would ever want to do again. My complete dislike for the topic showed in the piece I wrote and I ended up with a B-. Mr. Collins commented on it, but understood my issues with the subject matter.

The Entertainment section was fun and if I had to write about anything day in and day out, it would be among my top choices because it included so many different topics; movies, books, music, theater and art. I had, on more than one occasion, gone with the staff writers to different plays and had sat down with a couple of authors at book signing events.

Things were going great until the day I attended a movie opening on one of the last nights of my two-week assignment. We walked in and were heading to the theater when I saw Edward standing by the concession counter with not only Jessica, but Lauren as well.

_Damn, son of a bitch doesn't get enough of one girl, so now he has to do both? _

The ache was in my chest again as I watched him talking and laughing with them. I hated the small piece of myself that still hurt when I saw him with them. But I hated him even more for not being the guy I thought he was.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Spring break came and as much as I hated it, I was forced to take a break from the newspaper. Since, I was working there as an intern in place of my journalism class, when the school took a break, so did I. I wanted to take the time to catch up with my friends since we hadn't seen much of each other outside of school in the past two months, but it was Saturday night and they were both busy with their boyfriends. So I decided to call Jacob instead.

The phone rang but no answer. With the whole day ahead of me, I decided to do some of the housework that I had been neglecting since I started working. It took most of the afternoon and when I was I done I tried to call Jacob again.

"Hello." He sounded tired, like he had just woken up.

"Hey Jake." I hadn't talked to him in a few days and I missed the sound of his voice. We didn't get enough time together anymore.

"Oh hey, Bella, what's going on?"

"Nothing really. I called to see if you wanted to come over tonight. We could watch movies or something." I was hopeful.

"I'm pretty tired right now. Coach worked us hard today and I was kinda hoping to stay home and rest."

"Oh."

I didn't know what to say. He had asked me a couple of times over the past few weeks to come over, but I was always so busy that the timing never worked out right. I noticed him pulling away from me a little and I wanted to fix that this week. I really missed him.

"I can make you dinner. You can sit and rest. If you're tired you can crash on the couch." I knew I was sounding desperate. "I just wanna hang out tonight."

"Look Bella, I'm tired and I'm sure you have some kind of research that needs to get done. I'm going back to sleep. I'll call you tomorrow, okay." He didn't leave me any room to argue.

"Okay, Jake." His rejection hurt but things had been a little strained between us lately. "I'll talk to you tomorrow. I love you."

"Night, Bella."

I held the phone to my ear for a few more seconds even though I knew he was already gone. He turned me down and seemed upset with me. I knew I had to fix things with him, but tonight obviously wasn't the night to do it.

The week passed quickly and I spent the majority of it alone. The girls were too busy with Jasper and Emmett to come and hang out. I tried to get the four of them to come over to have a fast food / movie night like we used to, but Emmett insisted on bringing Edward with him and that just wasn't going to happen. Jacob and I only saw each other twice this week and both times, he was distant and we hardly talked. I hated this feeling between us but there was nothing I could do about it. If he was resenting the time I had to spend away because of my job then that was tough because there was no way I was giving it up…not for him…not for anyone.

Sunday night I was at the store again, picking up the groceries for the week. I was about to turn down one of the aisles when I heard Edward's voice in the aisle behind me. He was laughing and I heard a girl's voice, but it wasn't either Lauren or Jessica. Curiosity had me peeking around the corner to see who his next conquest was.

"Here, read this one," he said.

They were in the greeting card section, handing cards back and forth for the other to read. As soon as he handed it to her, his hand moved to her shoulder as he waited for her to read the card. Her back was to me so I couldn't see who it was, so I waited to see if she would turn around.

"It's perfect, Edward." Her arm circled his waist and she turned to hug him. "He's going to love it."

She backed away and I saw her face; it had to be his mom. She didn't look old enough to have teenage sons, but she did have that 'mom' look to her.

"You're such a hopeless romantic, just like your father." She reached up and patted his cheek. "One day…"

"Hey, Bells."

I jumped at the sound of my dad's voice and ran into the corner of the aisle. When I looked, Edward and his mom were both staring at me.

"I grabbed the eggs for you. Was there anything else you-?"

"Nope that was it. Let's go." I rushed the words out and turned away from the aisle.

I could feel the rush of color burning my cheeks over my embarrassment of being caught eavesdropping. I hurried to get the last few items I needed and we went to the cashier. I didn't see Edward or his mom again, and I was thankful for that.

The ride home was quiet as I sat, staring out the window and thinking about what his mom said to him. She called him a hopeless romantic. Images of Edward with Jessica and Lauren flooded my mind and I wondered if she had any clue how wrong she was about her son.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~

"_You're such a hopeless romantic, just like your father."_

Those words haunted me every day and I found myself watching Edward more than I had in months. I told myself that his mom couldn't be that clueless and a small part of me was still so desperate to believe that Edward was still the sweet guy I met on my birthday. But I was wrong.

It only took him ten days to be done with Victoria and then another four days to finish with Tanya, but when he moved on to Kate, it was different. She must not have been as willing to give it up like the others because it had been almost two weeks since he started with her, and he was still hanging on every word she said. He may have just found his _challenge_ after all.

Edward filled my thoughts now more than he ever did, but it wasn't like before. These days everything about him was fueling the hate I felt for him; his hair, his face, his smug, 'I can do whatever and whoever the hell I want' attitude. But what bothered me the most were the constant dreams I had of him, both while I was asleep and awake. It had even gotten to the point that it was affecting my work and it didn't go unnoticed.

"Miss Swan, can I speak to you in my office please?" Mr. Sawyer called as I was about to head home for the night.

It had been at least a month since anyone called me anything but Bella, so I was instantly nervous when I heard Mr. Sawyer call me by my last name. I walked into his office and closed the door slowly, afraid to turn around.

"Have a seat, please."

When I sat down, I noticed that he had my file sitting in front of him and that caused the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up and I felt my insides twist, thinking I had done something wrong.

"Y-yes, Mr. Sawyer," I stammered.

He looked up at me, took off the glasses that he very rarely wore and rubbed his eyes. That was not a good sign.

"Miss Swan, I've noticed a change in you lately and, frankly, it has me worried. You seem to have lost your drive and your focus has been lacking lately. Is there something going on that I need to know about?"

"No sir." My answer was simple because he didn't need to know about my boy problems.

"Have I been working you too hard? You're very young, Bella, and I don't want to push you too much and wear you down." His words were sincere and I relaxed a little when he finally went back to calling me Bella.

"No sir, this is actually the best part of my day." I let out a deep sigh. "I've just been having some trouble at school lately, but I'm working through it. Coming here actually takes my mind off of everything." It was a partial admission.

"As long as you're sure everything is alright." He picked up one of my papers. "This business paper that you turned in was definitely not your best work and I want to make sure it doesn't happen again. You have two days to finish your paper on sports. Do you have an angle you're working toward? Do you have all your research done?"

"Yes sir." I actually had a good direction to take my paper.

"Would you like to share? I want to make sure you stay on track."

"Well Mr. Sawyer, I noticed over the past couple of weeks that the sports section of the paper is dominated by baseball and basketball and there are several stories about the football drafts that happened recently. But, there aren't that many stories that cover the soccer team."

He cocked his eyebrow at me. "Go on," he said.

"Well, I know soccer doesn't have the following or support in this country as it does in others and I don't think the sport gets the credit it deserves. I've spoken with some of the reps from our MLS team and they're doing some amazing things to work within the local communities, bringing more exposure to the sport." I took a quick breath. "They've even started a youth program that starts the kids playing at five years old and once they reach the age limit for the youth program, they have some competitive teams to transition their players into."

I was getting excited talking about this and he was smiling at me as I kept going.

"Something like this is perfect for me to write about because most of my friends have played soccer for years and could easily play on those competitive teams. I wanted to incorporate some of their experiences and future plans into the piece."

"I'm glad to see your enthusiasm has returned. It sounds like a great angle for the piece and it could turn out really well. I'm actually surprised no one here has covered that by now."

"It's a new program they have started this year and the only reason I know about it is because one of my friends has a little brother in their program."

Mr. Sawyer looked at his watch then back at me. "Thanks for staying to meet with me, Bella. I was worried and now I see that there was no need. Keep up the good work and I'm really excited to see what you put together for this piece." He smiled at me again as he left his desk to open the door for me. "Now you better head out before your dad has to wait too long."

"Thanks Mr. Sawyer. I appreciate your concern, but everything is fine. I will have this on your desk as soon as I walk in on Friday."

That night after dinner I was in my room putting all my research together and getting the basic focus for my story written down. All I had left to do talk to my friends and get their side of the new programs. The first person on my list was Jacob, so I picked up my cell phone and dialed.

The phone rang a few times before he picked it up. "Shut up." His voice was muffled, like he had his hand over the phone.

"Jake?" I asked.

"Hey doll, are you home from work already?" It was the first time he sounded happy to talk to me in a while.

"Yeah I'm putting my stuff together to write my journalism paper. Are you busy tonight? Can I come over for a bit?" I asked.

"Um…my dad has some friends here right now. Can I go over there?" he asked instead.

"I don't know, Jake. Charlie's working the night shift tonight."

"Oh right. I'll just see you tomorrow then," he said, a little sad.

Jacob knew about my promise to my dad to not have him over when I was home alone and, at first, he was upset by it but it's been four months since that happened and we haven't gotten in trouble since.

"I can call him and see if it's okay?" I offered. "I really need to talk to you about this assignment and if he knows it's for work, then he might be okay with it."

"Okay," I could hear the smile in his voice again. "You call him and let me know."

We hung up and I called Charlie. It took a little…well a lot of begging, but he finally agreed. He told me that under no circumstances was Jacob allowed to be in the house after nine-thirty. I told him that I would make sure Jacob had Billy call him if he was late. I would do anything not to get grounded again. I thanked Charlie and hung up to immediately call Jacob.

I was sitting on the floor in the living room when he came walking through the door. I looked up and smiled, but that obviously wasn't enough because he grabbed my hand and yanked me up into his arms.

He walked me to the couch with him and I ended up in his lap. The kiss he gave me made my head spin. He hadn't been like this with me since before I started my internship, and I was glad to have the old Jacob back. Within minutes I was on my back, lost in the kisses he was placing on my neck and the feel of his hand as it moved under my shirt.

"I've missed you so much, Bella," he whispered between kisses.

I was beyond words so I pulled on the back of his hair to bring his lips back to mine as a response. In one quick move, my shirt was pulled up and his mouth was on my heaving chest as his hand was now running up and down my thigh.

"Jake," I whispered, out of breath.

I could feel the heat of his breath as his mouth moved over my bra. The hand behind my head clutched my hair while the other moved up to push my bra up and out of the way.

"God, you're beautiful," he said, just before his mouth closed around my nipple.

I gasped as his tongue worked its magic on my body. His hand was back on my thigh and before I knew it, he was rubbing between my legs.

"That's feels so good."

He rolled his body between my legs and began moving his hips, giving me the right amount of pressure to make me want so much more. He moved to kiss my neck again, placing kisses in a line up to my ear.

"Bella," he whispered and sucked my earlobe between his lips. When he released it, his lips were so close to my ear and his breath was making me shiver. "Bella, come upstairs with me."

I pushed my hands against his chest to move him away from me. "No Jake, stop…we can't."

"Please, Bella."

He leaned in and kissed me again and my hands went back to his hair. I pulled again to get him off of me but he just moved to my neck again. His hips were still moving against me, making it so hard to think clearly.

"Jake, we have to stop. You have to leave soon and I have to get this done."

His head dropped to my shoulder as he groaned in frustration. I hated to make him stop because we haven't been this close in a long time, but I didn't have a choice.

"Fine." He pushed himself off of the couch and held a hand out to me.

I fixed my clothes and grabbed his hand, moving to the floor where my books were except this time he sat with his back leaned against the chair and I was between his legs, resting against his chest. I explained the piece I wanted to write and the angle I was going with, but he just wasn't interested in helping.

"You can't even give me an opinion." I couldn't hide my irritation.

"Bells, I really don't care. I have no interest in it at all. I'm not playing after high school anyway."

I pushed away from him and started getting my papers together.

"I can't believe you're not even going to help me out here." I slammed my things on the table. "You know what…" I stopped before I said something I would regret. "Jacob, why don't you just go?"

"Come on, doll, don't be that way." He tried to grab my hand, but I pulled it away.

"Jacob, this is important to me and you don't seem to care. Telling me you don't really care doesn't help me at all." I moved away from him. "So, if you're not here to help me, then let yourself out and go home. I'm going to bed."

I walked away, leaving him standing in the middle of my living room. I was going to have to go with my second option. So the next day at school, I was going to talk to Jasper. I sent him a message to let him know I needed to talk to him.

**Hey Jazz, need 2 talk 2 u…B**

**What's up B**

**Have a paper due. Need ur help…B**

**What do u need**

**Meet me at my locker 2moro…B**

**Cool**

**Thx…B**

I closed the phone and put it on my nightstand and went to sleep for the night. In the morning, I only had to wait ten minutes before Jasper showed up.

"Mornin' Bella, what's up?" he said.

I explained the idea for my paper, told him what I wanted to write and asked if he could give me his opinions on the soccer programs.

"I actually love that the team is doing what they are to get kids involved," he said and I smiled. "I've been playing since I was a little kid and my parents had to search for a program. So it's nice to have one available and with a pro team no less."

"And what do you think of the competitive teams?" I asked, thinking they would be perfect for someone as good as he was.

"My dad told me about the program. It's focused on developing the local players to give them a shot to play on the pro team and I think they're great, but I don't have the interest to play competitive. I'm hoping that I'm good enough to get a scholarship, but playing pro isn't my plan. You know I want to be a writer and I'm going to work for that."

"Thanks Jasper. It's nice to have _someone's_ opinion." My tone was bitter as I remembered Jacob completely blowing me off.

"Honestly, Bella, I'm not the one you need to talk to." He started shifting his feet back and forth.

"What do you mean?" I stopped writing. "Who else is there?"

"Well, you really need to be talking to…" he paused.

It took me a second, but I got it. "Oh hell no!" I yelled.

"Come on, Bella. Edward is the perfect one to talk to. He's the one that wants to go pro and he's the one to be interested in those programs."

"God, Jasper!" I pushed him away from me. "You're as bad as your damn girlfriend! How many times do I have to tell you people that I don't even want to hear his damn name! I don't want to see his face! I don't want to have anything to do with him! Why don't any of you get that?"

"Bella, calm down. Look, I don't know what your problem is with Edward, but don't you think this is a little ridiculous already?" he questioned me.

"Ridiculous! Really, Jasper?" I was surprised with his attitude. He probably thought his friend didn't do anything wrong. "If you knew what he really wanted, you wouldn't be so quick to jump on his fucking side."

I felt bad for using that word, but it really made me mad that he would defend him.

"I do know, Bella. He wants _you_." He said it so calmly, like it was no big thing.

"And that's okay with you, Jasper! Are you fucking kidding me? How could you? How could you possibly think that's okay?" I slammed my locker closed. "Oh right, I know…he's your fucking friend and I guess that makes it okay. Well you know what, Jasper? I thought I was your friend too, but I guess I was wrong."

I left him standing there with his mouth hanging open while I stormed off to class. My head turned back as I heard Jasper call my name but before I could even think of turning around, a grunt sounded in my ear as I slammed into someone. I felt a set of arms move around me and when I looked up, Sam was smiling down at me. My body relaxed as I breathed a sigh of relief and let him steady me.

"Hey Bells, you better slow down before you hurt yourself." He was laughing.

"Sorry Sam. I didn't mean to run you over or anything. Jasper is being a fucking ass…"

He put his hand over my mouth to stop me from speaking.

"Whoa Bella, calm down. I can tell that you're upset, but it's no reason to start talking like that; it's not like you at all." He let me go and lightly punched me in the arm. "Why don't you take a deep breath and tell me what happened?"

It was just like Sam to always be there to diffuse a problem, so I did what he said. I told him about Jacob and Jasper and how each one irritated me. It surprised me when he took my side of things, but he did and it really helped to not have to defend my actions or words for once. Sam was a better friend to me than I gave him credit for and I was glad that we were able to save our old friendship.

Once I got my frustrations out of the way, he was able to help me even more by giving me his own opinions about the new soccer programs. He was even able to help more than either Jacob or Jasper because he had actually tried out for one of the teams. Sam agreed to come over after I got home tonight so he could tell me all about his experience. His insight was going to be exactly what I needed to balance out my paper. I couldn't thank him enough as we went our separate ways to class. Now that I was on the verge of getting the information I needed, writing this paper was going to be a breeze. I could finally breathe a little easier as I mentally prepared myself for what I had been waiting all these months for…the news.

* * *

**Awww a note on Valentine's Day. How sad is it that she knows immediately that her boyfriend didn't give it to her. That right there should tell you that you need a new boyfriend. I have a suggestion for her if she wants one. Don't forget to let me know what your thinking. I would love to hear how many times you have wanted to smack Bella around for not opening her eyes and seeing that she's being lied to. **

**Until next time, my loves. Thanks for reading - D**


	24. The Price Of A Dream

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.**

Thanks as always to my pre-reader Loulabelle and my beta AgoodWITCH for all of the input, great comments and overall support on my stories. I love you girls so much.

* * *

_**Chp 23 Recap:**__ Bella starts her internship at the paper. She's a little overwhelmed at first, but gets the hang of things quickly. Jake tries to be okay with her working, but he's really not. He's more interested in his own life and starts to pull away from her when she can't be there all the time for him. He even forgot Valentine's Day, but luckily for Bella, someone didn't and a 'secret admirer' slipped a poem for her into her locker. Bella sees Edward around town either while she's running errands or out on assignment for the paper. Unfortunately for him, she always seems to catch him when he's with other girls, causing her to hate him even more than she already does. But for Bella, whether she hates Edward or not, she still can't stop thinking about him._

**Chapter 24 – The Price Of A Dream**

**BPOV**

The next several days flew by and before I knew it, I was standing with Mr. Sawyer as he introduced me to the staff writers that made up the news team. The amount of writers and researchers on the team doubled that of any other team at the paper, but that was to be expected. After standing and talking to them for fifteen minutes, I knew why Mr. Sawyer saved this section for last, as it was the most diverse part of the paper.

They covered world, national and local news, human interest pieces and any other breaking news and special reports that came up in a day. All of these stories were divided by the size and urgency of the story to determine their priority and placement in the published paper. I was completely fascinated and so excited to learn it all that I didn't even know where to start.

Just like every section before this, Mr. Sawyer had a plan for me. I spent the first few days on the world news desk. Most of the stories here came from the Associated Press and each writer and research team worked together to learn more facts to give the proper coverage, making sure nothing was missed. Occasionally, if the story was big enough and the paper could fund it, the writer could be sent on location for better coverage. Personally, I would love to do something like that, but I could never dream of it happening. The next few days were spent on the national news desk. It was run so similarly to the world news desk that the transition was easy and I picked it up quickly.

The remainder of my time was spent on the local news desk. It was a little tougher than most of the other sections because everything was reported as things came up. There was an open tipline where people could call in and give the information for topics they considered "news worthy". Then it was the writer's job to go out and look into it.

As the intern, my first assignment was to field the calls coming into the tipline. My job was to take down the information and give it to Mr. Sawyer so he could choose the right reporter for each story. They got calls for every kind of story imaginable; possible break-ins, school violence, suspected drug houses, car accidents, vandalism, fires, you name it…they called in for it. In my two hours Monday afternoon, I took nineteen calls and by the end of the day, I was exhausted.

At 6pm, I took my last few messages to Mr. Sawyer before I got ready to leave. He was on the phone when I got to his office, so I set the messages on his desk and waved before leaving. He held up his finger to stop me and then motioned to the chair in front of his desk, so I sat down to wait. I heard him hang up the phone as I was taking my journal and pen out of my bag. If I needed to take notes, I was prepared.

"Bella, how was your day?" he asked.

"Honestly, I would have never guessed just answering the phone could be so tiring," I said.

"Now that you know where we get our leads, tomorrow you'll be going out with the reporters to the scene. However, depending on the leads we get during the day, our writers may already be out and you would have to meet them on location." He motioned to his phone. "I just talked to your father and told him the situation and he's agreed to drive you wherever you need to go. Now, sometimes you could be on location for hours at a time. Would you able to do that? I wouldn't want this to affect your other school work."

"I should be okay. The rest of my classes are pretty basic, none of them give me too much trouble."

"Okay, I'll keep an eye on the leads that come in tomorrow. You make sure to call my office right after your last class and I'll let you know where you need to go."

"Thanks, Mr. Sawyer."

We said our goodbyes and I left.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Tuesday afternoon I was sent to the south side of Denver to help the reporter cover a house fire. I got tips for the kinds of questions to ask the police and firefighters and which ones were the best to get information from. It was a long night and I was out until almost eight o'clock. Luckily, I had finished all but one homework assignment in study hall.

Wednesday afternoon I was in the newsroom when the call for a traffic accident came in. It was another late night and I had to call my dad to come pick me up at nine o'clock since, at my age, I wasn't allowed to work longer than that at night. My eyes were barely open when I got home and I was up until almost midnight finishing my homework.

Thursday was pretty uneventful so I was in the newsroom with the reporters working on polishing techniques that would make my news stories sound better. They gave me some great hints and writing tips that I could put to use with my final story this week.

Friday was the worst. I should have known something was wrong when my dad arranged a ride for me that day. I ended up meeting the reporter on the scene of a bar fight. When I walked up, I started asking questions to find out what the story was. The fight was more serious than I thought it would be, and one of the men involved was seriously injured. While we were talking to one of the officers, I was forcefully pulled away.

"What are you doing here, Bella?"

"Dad?" I was surprised. "This is where they told me to be."

"You have no business being here!" he yelled.

"I have to go where I'm told." I got defensive, raising my voice a little. "It's not like I have a choice."

He grabbed my arm and dragged me over to where Michael had just finished interviewing the police officer.

"Shields," he shouted to get his attention. "Get Bella the hell out of here. She is a fifteen year old girl; she doesn't need to be seeing things like this."

"Sorry Officer Swan, Sawyer sent her out here. I can't send her away without his permission," Michael answered.

"Then get him on the phone and get her out of here!" he barked the order at him.

"No, Dad!" I hollered this time, unable to stand by anymore. "This is my job."

"Bella, this isn't the type of thing you need to be seeing."

"Dad, I can't see anything from out here, can I?" I had to be practical. "All of the damage was inside. If there is any blood on the scene, it's inside, so there's nothing for me to see."

I was angry at him for not only treating me like a child who couldn't handle this kind of thing – I'd seen worse than this on TV – but for embarrassing me in front of the man I work with. How was anyone going to take me seriously as a journalist if I had my dad trying to get me sent home from a crime scene?

"It's my job to protect you, Bella." He softened just a bit.

Michael moved away, giving us some privacy.

"Dad, you're here because you have a job to do. Well I'm here because _I_ have a job to do too. I'm not a little kid anymore. I'm tougher than you think I am and I can handle this."

I waited for him to say something but he kept quiet. I continued, hoping to make him understand.

"Think about it, Dad, if this is going to be my career, I'm going to be seeing things like this all the time. When I'm out of school, I'll be here from the start and I'll even see the bodies as they take them away." He flinched at that thought. "I'm not a little girl, I'm not fragile and I'm not naïve enough to believe all the stories I work on are going to be filled with happy scenes."

I paused a minute to give him time to absorb what I just said.

"I want this, Dad. What I've been through these past three months and especially this week has made me more determined than ever." I stopped to think of the best argument I could make. "On the first day of my internship, you told me that this was the start of a new life for me. It's not always going to be easy, it's not always going to be perfect, but it's what I want to do with my life. Please, let me do it."

He was stunned, not really sure what to say. I had never spoken to him like that before. I never had the need to before, but I wasn't going to let him treat me like a kid anymore. I had to grow up sometime and now was as good a time as any.

He looked troubled, not really wanting to accept what I said, but also not having a more valid argument either.

"You know this has been hard for me." His voice had only the smallest hint of stress. "You're my little girl. You're not supposed to be so grown up yet."

"But I am, Dad. I may not be a grown up, but I'm old enough to know what I want. And right now, I've got a job to do." I grinned at him. "So do you, O_fficer Swan_."

His laugh was cut short by another officer calling his name.

"I guess I do. Alright, Bells, you do your job, but you better be out of here by nine o'clock sharp. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Dad. I know the law, remember?"

He gave me a one-armed hug and started to walk away. I was making my way back to Michael, but my dad called me again before I got there.

"Bells, I'm not sure when I'm going to be done here. If I'm not done by the time you have to leave, call the Brandons and see if they can come pick you up."

"I will."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

The hours came and went and the clock was getting closer to 9pm. We were still talking to witnesses and getting the bits of information from the police that they were allowed to share. My dad was nowhere close to being done so I pulled out my cell to call the Brandon's for a ride. The phone rang several times before it was picked up.

"Hello." I recognized Alice's voice.

"Hey Alice, its Bella." I could hear all the noise in the background, like they were having a party.

"Hey Bella, what's up?"

"I was calling to see if your mom or dad could come pick me up. My dad is still working and I'm not allowed to be out here after nine."

"Oh…um…I'll make sure someone is there to get you. Where are you?" she asked.

I gave her the address and she promised they would be on their way. I hung up and went back to work. Twenty minutes later, I heard Alice screaming my name from down the street. I looked at my watch and it was just about time to go. I talked to Michael, gave him my notes and he told me I could go. I found my dad quickly to say goodbye and made my way over to Alice.

"I'm surprised you got here so fast," I said.

"It's not that far, Bella. Come on, let's go."

She was her bouncy, excited self tonight, but I was too tired to try and calm her down. I just wanted to get home and sleep. It was only the second day all week that I didn't have to stay up late to do homework and I was going to take advantage of that.

She pulled me to a car that I didn't recognize and Jasper was waiting by the door. He took a step to the side to open the door for us and I froze the second I saw Edward sitting in the front seat. I grabbed Alice's hand and swung her around to face me.

"What the hell is your problem, Alice?" I spoke through my teeth. "You said you would have your mom or dad pick me up!"

"No I didn't. I said 'someone' will pick you up." She glared at me. "My mom and dad weren't home and I knew you needed a ride so I asked Emmett if he would bring me to pick you up since he was at my house already."

"Oh so you just _had to_ invite Edward to come with you. You think I don't see through your little games?" She knew I was mad.

"What was I supposed to do, leave him at my house all alone, Bella? You may not like him, but not even you would do something like that to him."

She had me there, taking away any argument I could come up with.

"Fine…but do not expect me to talk to him, Alice. I just want to go home."

We went to the car and Jasper motioned for us to get in. Alice got in first and I slipped in after her. He ran around to the other side of the car and jumped in.

"It's about time," Emmett said from the front seat. "I thought we were gonna have to wait all night." He laughed.

I heard a very low, very unmistakable voice. "Shut up and drive, Emmett."

My breathing came too fast, my heart was racing and goose bumps sprung up over my entire body when I heard him speak. He shouldn't have this kind of effect on me. I closed my eyes to try and calm myself down. When I opened them, I stared out the window, focusing on the passing lights outside.

"So what happened here, Bella?" Emmett asked.

I had only spoken to Emmett once since they moved here, but he spoke to me like we'd known each other forever.

"Bar fight," I mumbled, without looking at him.

"They had _that_ many cops out there for a bar fight?" He sounded surprised.

I turned my head slightly in his direction, speaking without much emotion. "Someone got hurt really bad. They had to take him to the hospital. They weren't sure if he was gonna make it."

I was about to turn back to the window, but I noticed I could see Edward's face in the side mirror. I don't think he realized that I could see him and now that I had, I couldn't take my eyes off him. He was so beautiful, that was something I could never deny. His face didn't look right though, he looked…sad.

"He might die?" Alice asked.

My focus didn't move from his face when I answered. "Yeah, he might. There were a ton of cops there because it could potentially turn into a murder investigation."

I didn't miss how Edward's eyes shut tight when I spoke and he looked like he was in pain.

"Damn, that's crazy," Emmett said.

"Since you're working for the paper, will you find out before everyone else?" Jasper asked.

"I doubt it. Today was supposed to be my last day."

I saw Edward's face relaxed slightly, but he wouldn't open his eyes.

"Won't your dad tell you?" Emmett asked.

"Probably not. He doesn't discuss cases with me."

"Stop Emmett, we're here," Alice instructed.

I had been watching Edward so intently that I didn't notice we were getting closer to home. He opened his eyes and turned his head to look at my house, looking sad again.

"Thanks for the ride."

I almost didn't want to get out of the car because that would mean I wouldn't see his face again. Ever since I found out what he'd said about me, I had _forced _myself not to look his way anymore. But now, after watching him and seeing the little changes his face would make every time I spoke, I wanted more.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Bella," Alice interrupted my thoughts.

I got out of the car and pulled my keys out of my pocket. When I unlocked the door, I looked back at the car to wave goodbye and my eyes locked with Edward's. The look on his face triggered that pain in my chest again and in that moment, I felt that pull towards him take over and every part of me wanted to run back to the car. My left foot took the first step but before my right foot could take the next one, Emmett drove away.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Now that I didn't have the anticipation of going to the newsroom every day, the final two weeks of school were the slowest of my life. It was the same old boring routine with nothing to look forward to at the end of the day but an empty house. My dad was working extra shifts to make up for some of the time he'd lost, taking me back and forth to work every day. So I was alone.

I hardly saw Jacob anymore, but it wasn't a big surprise. I had seen less and less of him since I started my internship and after we argued over him helping me with my story a few weeks ago, he pulled away from me even more. Take that and add soccer practice and going to the gym with the guys, and he was pretty much non-existent in my life. I might as well not even have a boyfriend and who knows, with the way he was acting, maybe I didn't and just didn't know it.

Three days before school let out for the summer, Mr. Collins asked to see me during my lunch hour. Our relationship had changed drastically from the beginning of the year. Rather than teacher and student, he became more of an advisor to me. With the internship under my belt, we seemed to connect on a level that he didn't reach with his other students and I knew that I would have him to go to as I explored my career options in the future. As I got to his classroom, I peeked around the corner and knocked to get his attention. He looked up and smiled.

"Miss Swan, come in and please shut the door behind you."

I did as he asked and began to walk to the chair in front of his desk, but he motioned me to sit in the chair next to him instead.

"Miss Swan, I have received so many glowing reviews of your work while you were working at the paper. I have also looked at your papers and I have seen a great deal of improvement, not only from the beginning of the year but also from the beginning of your internship."

"Thank you, Mr. Collins, for believing in me. I would never have had the opportunity without you."

He grabbed his phone while I spoke, pressed a button and pushed the speaker button. While we listened to the ringing, he spoke.

"I'm sure you would have, just not so soon."

"Newsroom."

I recognized Mr. Sawyer's voice immediately, making me curious.

"David, are you busy?" Mr. Collins asked.

"No. I was waiting for your call," he answered.

"I have Miss Swan with me now." He smiled at me again. "Why don't you tell her what you've told me?"

"Bella, how are you?" he asked.

"I'm great, just waiting for school to end."

"Let me ask you, do you have any plans for the summer?"

"Uh…no." It came out sounding like a question.

"Bella, I, along with quite a few members of my staff, were very impressed with the dedication you put forth during your time with us. You have a certain spark and a passion for reporting the news. In fact, when I spoke to your father yesterday, he filled me in on a little argument you had with him regarding the final assignment I sent you on. You displayed to him, to Mr. Shields and to me your true desire to use your talents and carve out a brilliant future career for yourself."

I could feel my skin turning ten shades of red the second he mentioned the argument I had with my dad when he tried to get me sent home from the bar scene.

"Now, Mr. Collins and I would like to see you take the next step forward. With your father's permission, I would like to extend your internship to the end of the summer."

"Seriously?" My voice rose a couple of octaves again as I jumped up, throwing my arms around Mr. Collins' neck. Why was it that when these two men got together, my future dreams came more into focus?

"She's hugging you again, isn't she?" Mr. Sawyer asked, unconcealed laughter filling the background.

"Of course." Mr. Collins answered.

They were both laughing at me, waiting for me to calm down and give them an answer.

"I'm sorry, really I am," I apologized to Mr. Collins. "You two just have a way of giving me everything I want."

"I would love to put you back on the news desk, Bella. You were a natural fit there and my staff loved you. However, there will be some restrictions, because of your age, you will not be allowed to work more than six hours per day." Mr. Sawyer informed me. "We will alternate your shifts so you work some mornings and some afternoons. Also, just as before, you are not allowed to work past 9pm."

I said yes and okay in all the right places while he spoke and I found myself barely holding in my excitement.

"Not that I have to ask, but is this acceptable for you, Bella." He chuckled.

"Absolutely, I would do anything to get back in there again."

"Perfect. I will give you the week after school ends to rest up, and the following Monday you will be here bright and early."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

The last two days of school passed in a flash now that I had something to look forward to again; a desperately needed girl's night on Saturday and in a week, going back to work. I was happier than I had been for the past two weeks. I was almost skipping back to my locker now to clean all of my things out and leave this place behind for the summer. My dad was picking up Alice and me from school today and taking us to eat so I had thirty minutes to mess around before he got here.

I had my bag open, putting all of my personal things away when I saw them. Four pink cards like I had received on Valentine's Day were lying on the bottom of my locker. Now I would be the first to admit that I hadn't been paying too much attention to what was in my locker lately, but these stand out and I would have seen them, so I wondered when they were put there.

I leaned against my locker to open and read each one. Three of the four cards had poems written on them like the one on Valentine's Day, but the fourth was a short message to me.

_Beautiful Bella,_

_Summer is upon us, and my time with you has come to an end. I will deeply miss seeing the subtle beauty that has completely captured my heart. You have given me a reason to make it through every day and I will suffer a lonely existence until my eyes can look upon you again. For now, I will keep you in my every memory, love you in my every dream until the sound of the ringing bell brings you back to me._

_I am forever yours_

I still hadn't figured out who gave me the first card yet and now I had four more. Whoever this was, he was crazy. I hardly spent my time with anyone in months and I hadn't spoken to anyone in school who was even remotely interested in me, so how could he say our time has come to an end. The words 'secret admirer' came to mind, but that just seemed wrong, no one I knew liked me that way.

_Duh… If you knew, then it wouldn't be a secret, now would it?_

I looked back at the cards again. I didn't recognize the handwriting and I was sure in my guess that this wasn't Jacob, romance wasn't his thing. Mike Newton and Tyler Crowley hadn't bothered me in months, so I could rule them out. There really was no one else. I closed them back up and tucked them into my bag. I had three months to figure it out and now wasn't the time. I finished packing up and met Alice at her locker before heading outside to meet my dad.

Dinner was great and Alice was staying the weekend with me. So as soon as we got home and my dad went to bed, we made our way to the living room to hang out. It had been so long since it was just us, and we definitely needed the time alone together. We had been best friends forever, but lately our friendship was strained and I was glad to have a chance to work on that.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

"Alice, can I ask you something?" She jumped slightly as my question broke her from her Johnny Depp induced trance.

"Sure Bells, what's up?" she answered without taking her eyes off the screen.

"Do you remember Valentine's Day?" I paused, not quite sure what to ask.

"What about it?" She jumped in before I could finish.

"Do you remember that card I got?"

"Yeah." She turned to face me now with more excitement in her voice. "What about it?"

"I never figured out who it was from and I was wondering…" I didn't know if I should ask her or not.

"What's on your mind, Bells?" She moved to sit next to me on the couch.

"Well," I hesitated, nervous. "I was wondering if you have any ideas. You know…about who…" I let my sentence drift off.

She gave me a suspicious look. "Why are you asking? You gave up guessing after two weeks last time. You said you didn't want to know, it wasn't important enough to you."

"I just want to know, alright."

She kept up with the look. "Spill it, Swan. What's up?"

I only asked because I wanted to know if she put more thought into who left the first one. I had no intention of telling her about the four I found today.

"No way, Bella. You are not going to bring it up and then go all silent on me. Tell me what's going on," she demanded with a small push to my shoulder.

"It's just that…I got more."

"More?" Her eyes widened and her voice rose a couple of octaves. "How did I not know about this?" She shook her head. "Let me see."

"Hang on."

I ran up to my room to grab the cards out of my bag. I stood there for a minute before heading back downstairs, suddenly afraid to show them to her and start this guessing game all over again. I gave up the last time because it got too frustrating. It was the note to me this time that had me guessing again, wanting to know who would write something like that to me. The only way I was going to find out was with Alice's help, so I rushed downstairs to get started.

"Here." I tossed the cards into her lap when I made it back to the living room.

I didn't want to make it seem like I was making a big deal about them, so I left her there to read them alone while I went to grab the ice cream out of the freezer. With two containers of mint chocolate chip and two spoons, I made my way back to her. I put her ice cream and spoon on the table in front of her and then finally settled back to see her reaction.

I was met with a pair of wide eyes and silence. She read them through a couple more times as I ate my ice cream. When she finally had the right words, she put the cards on the table and turned to face me.

"Bella, you have to know who this is."

I put my container and spoon on the table so we could talk.

"I want to know, Alice. I really do," I said in a quiet voice. "That's why I came to you. If anyone could figure this out, it's you."

Alice had ways of finding things out and when she was on a mission to get information, no one could keep her from it.

"Bella, can I ask you a serious question?" Her face changed a little as she spoke, the excitement gone, and a serious look taking its place.

"Sure," I answered, a little nervous about what would make her look like that.

"Bella, these are so beautiful and I need to know one thing before we start this again." She paused to take a breath. "What are you really going to do if you find out who wrote these?"

"I haven't really thought that far ahead yet," I told her honestly.

"Don't you think you should?" She grabbed my hand. "It's obvious that this guy really likes you, but you're with Jake. So you're going to find this guy and then what…crush him when you tell him there's no chance. Why bother?"

"But what if there is?" I whispered so quietly, hoping she hadn't heard me.

"What did you say?" I should have known.

"I don't even know if I'm really with Jake anymore," I said just as quiet.

"What does that mean?" she asked.

"I'm not sure where we stand. We hardly talk anymore, he doesn't come over to see me and he acts like I don't exist at school. I don't know what's going on with him and I was hoping, since its summer, that we would get to spend more time together, but I'm starting work in a week. I don't see this getting any better."

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize..."

"It's okay, Alice. I haven't really been around since I started the internship. I wouldn't expect you to know."

"But I should have." She cut me off. "That's what best friends are for."

We spent the rest of the night making a long list of possible guys. I never realized that she thought so many guys would like me. There were names on the list that I didn't even know and I was wondering where she came up with them. She tried to give me descriptions, but I still had no clue.

When Rosalie showed up Saturday, Alice told her about my secret admirer – as she started calling him – and even though I didn't think it was possible, Rosalie added more names to the list. It was like they were adding every guy in the school and if I didn't know better, I would have said they were making some of these names up. By the end of the weekend, I had a massive list of names and I was no closer to finding this guy than when I started.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

My week off passed quickly and I decided to take my last Friday afternoon and head to the park. I called Jacob to see if he would go with me, but he was headed to the gym with Sam. I grabbed my journal, my iPod and a bottle of water and took off. The park I wanted to go to wasn't too far from Rosalie's house but it was too far to walk, so I jumped on my bike and left.

It was a wide open space with trails to run or bike on, there were some picnic tables around and a small pond that gave the space come character. It was really pretty here and I began to wish I came here more often. When I found shade under a big tree, I kicked off my shoes and sat down to relax.

In the last three weeks, I was finally able to write for fun again, so that's what I came here to do since I really wouldn't have the opportunity for a while. I slipped my headphones on and got started.

After a couple of hours, my mind needed a rest so I closed my journal and my eyes, just listening to the music for a while. I hardly ever got to just veg out this way and it felt so good to lose myself in music and feel the sun on my face. I decided to roll onto my back and lay in the sun.

I didn't pay attention to anything except the words of the songs playing in my ears but shortly after I lay down, screaming interrupted my music. It wasn't like someone fighting; it was more of a frustrated screaming. I rolled onto my stomach to see where it was coming from and when I found it, I couldn't tear my eyes away.

I tried to stay in a position where I wouldn't be noticed as I watched a shirtless Edward kicking a ball at a soccer goal about thirty yards away from me. If I thought he was beautiful before, it was nothing compared to what I was seeing now. I remembered describing him as 'solid' that first day. I knew there were muscles there that I couldn't see and now that I could, all I wanted to do was watch.

He was completely focused on his shots, very few of them missing their mark. I suddenly couldn't wait to see him in a real game, to see what he could do on the field as he showed off all of his skills. I watched in awe as he moved, graceful and controlled, twisting so the momentum and force of his entire body could drive the ball into the goal. I watched the muscles in his back and calves flex every time his foot made contact with the ball. I found myself wishing and wondering what it would be like to touch those muscles as I ran my hand down his back.

Another frustrated scream interrupted my thoughts, making me jump. Then I heard someone calling his name. Looking past him, I saw his mom standing at the window of a house to his right; it had to be his house. I watched the scene in front of me as he joked around with his mom. He didn't have that same confident posture that he had when he was playing, the one that made him look older than he really was. No, he looked like a normal fifteen year old kid.

As they talked, I started to see the boy that was with me on my birthday and the one that I met the first day back from Christmas break. I missed _that _boy and I wanted him back. If I could have him again then Jacob's lack of attention wouldn't bother me so much and whoever my secret admirer was would just have to suffer because it was the sweet, kind, 'I'm here for you' Edward that made me forget everyone else. And right now, _he_ was the one standing right in front of me.

Feeling that pull to him again, I wanted to go to him, wrap my arms around him and never let go. I saw myself doing it, getting up from here, calling his name and running into his arms as he turned and opened them for me. He would hold me close and my body would heat up like it did before. His hands would stroke my hair and he would say my name like I really meant something to him.

I pushed myself off the ground, my focus on the beautiful boy in front of me. I got to my feet, taking a few steps in his direction.

"Hey Edward."

That voice – the one I'd heard every day in science class – stopped me in my tracks and brought me crashing back to reality, clearing my head and reminding me that the Edward I thought I knew was gone. I grabbed my journal, my bike and rode away from the boy who only existed in my dreams.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Peeling my eyes open wasn't as easy today as it should have been. Today was my first day at work and I was exhausted. All weekend I struggled to avoid sleep as Edward haunted my thoughts every time my eyes were closed for more than a minute. Images of Edward in deep concentration, some of him smiling and happy and others with him standing in front of me without a shirt while I was allowed to touch his bare chest played over and over again in my head.

_**Stop it, Bella. You hate him remember. He doesn't even deserve your time. Don't let him distract you today.**_

_Right…get it together, Bella. You need to focus today._

Over the past few days, my internal arguments got really loud in my head, one side hating Edward with a passion, wanting to keep him away from me at all costs and the other side, dying to keep the Edward I thought I knew alive in my mind. This was the first day both sides were in agreement that Edward had no place in my thoughts today.

"Bells, you up?" my dad called from the hallway.

"Yeah." I looked at my clock. "I'm getting in the shower in a minute."

My dad kept me going through the morning, making sure we made it out the door to get me to work on time. The ride to the news building was silent as I tried to catch a few minutes of sleep before I got there, but it didn't work. Just as every other time I tried to sleep, Edward popped into my head, his smile taunting me. My eyes shot open and I rubbed my hands over my face as the car pulled to a stop.

"Good luck, Bells. If I don't hear from you, I'll pick you up here at two o'clock."

Since I didn't know where I would end up during the day, I needed to call him thirty minutes early so he could make sure to pick me up on time.

"I will," I answered, dragging myself out of the car.

I met Mr. Sawyer in his office and he quickly told me that I would be working the phones one day a week and shadowing the reporters the rest. He put me on a schedule to spend a couple of days with each reporter, giving me the opportunity to work more in depth with each one. With a few final instructions, I rushed out of his office, making my way to the phones.

While this was my least favorite part of the job, it felt good be back here again. I felt like I was being useful and I wouldn't be spending boring days at home over the summer. Well, with Alice and now Rosalie around, they wouldn't be quite so boring, but I would much rather be here. Plus the constant calls and activity helped to keep my mind off _all_ unwanted topics.

The hours flew and before I knew it, it was time for a break. I sat down in their cafeteria and pulled out the turkey sandwich my dad made for me, taking a bite before grabbing my phone to call Jake. There was no answer, of course.

It had been a couple of weeks since I'd talked to him, I didn't know what his schedule would be for the summer. He was more than likely at practice or at the gym or something. Deciding to forget it, I called Alice to see about having a movie night with her and Rose on Saturday. Luckily, Jasper had plans that night so she was going to call Rosalie for me and set it up. After chatting for about ten minutes, I hung up with her and went back to work.

The last half of the day seemed to go faster than the first, which I was grateful for, and before I knew it, I was on my way home. I had a few hours to kill before I had to start getting dinner ready, so I grabbed a book and a bottle of water and settled in for the afternoon.

The rest of the week was interesting. I was able to go out and cover one car accident, a couple of court cases and a warehouse fire. I was allowed to do several solo interviews and I was even given the opportunity to do a write up for one of the court cases we were following. I knew it was nothing that was ever going to be published, but to be able to write something and have a real reporter give me his feedback on it was invaluable to me.

I was having so much fun that I didn't realize how much time had passed until Alice called me one afternoon to see if I was coming to her Fourth of July party in a few days. It surprised me that it was actually July already, but being so absorbed in my work took my attention away from everything else that was going on this summer.

With the party only a few days away, I needed to call Jacob to see if he wanted to come with me. I waited until dinner was done to make my call, knowing that he shouldn't be busy so late. We had only been talking to each other once or twice a week lately and I very rarely saw him since he was always so busy in the hours I wasn't working.

I didn't like the way our relationship was going and I wanted to see what we could do to fix that. This party seemed to be the perfect solution to spend some time together, hanging out and having fun like we used to. I was under my covers, listening to the phone ring and I was starting feel a little anxious that he hadn't picked up yet. I was just about to give up when I heard his voice.

"Hello." He sounded like he was sleeping.

"Hey Jake." The level of relief I felt just from hearing his voice surprised me.

"Hey doll. What are you up to tonight?" he asked.

"Nothing, just lying down. How about you?" I couldn't keep the smile off my face. It was so good to finally talk to him.

"Just chillin', watching a movie." He didn't sound happy, nothing like the Jacob I was used to.

I frowned. "Is everything okay, Jake? You sound…I don't know…upset or tired or something."

"Nah, I'm good, doll. It was just a long day." He let out a deep breath.

"I'm sorry. Do you want me to let you go? I can call you tomorrow." I didn't want to get off the phone, but I didn't want to bother him either.

"No, I'm glad you called." He perked up a little. "I've been missing you so much, Bells. The summer's half over and I've hardly seen you."

"I know. I miss you a lot, Jake. It feels like forever since I've seen you." I was pouting a little, not realizing exactly how much I missed him until now. "Hey, I work during the day tomorrow. You wanna come over and hang out tomorrow night? We could watch movies."

"You sure you're not _busy_ tomorrow night?"

I didn't miss the way he said the word busy. I knew he hated that the paper was taking up so much of my time, but I hoped it wasn't still going to be an issue. It had always bothered me that he felt that way and I tried my hardest not to let it come out in my voice.

"No, I'm not busy. Come over and hang out, please?" I wasn't above begging at this point.

"Isn't your dad working the night shift tomorrow?" he asked. "You know I can't go over when he's not home. Damn doll, I barely see you as it is, I don't want you to get grounded and make it worse."

"Well, I didn't get in trouble last time, maybe he'll be able to trust us again." I could only hope. "Let me go ask him…hold on."

I dropped the phone on the bed and ran downstairs. My dad was still watching the baseball game so at least I wasn't waking him up. I approached him slowly.

"Dad?" My nerves hit an all-time high the minute his name passed my lips.

"What's up, Bells?" he asked, eyes still focused on the screen.

"Dad, would it…um...be okay if Jake came over to watch movies…ahh…tomorrow…?"

"Are you kidding me?" he yelled.

I jumped back a few steps and tried to recover quickly. "Never mind, I'm sorry I asked."

I turned to run back upstairs, but he stopped me.

"No…sorry, not you Bells." He pushed the button to mute the TV. "What did you say?"

It was hard enough to get the question out the first time; I didn't want to ask it again, but I didn't have a choice if I wanted to see Jacob tomorrow.

_Suck it up, Bella. Do you want to see him or not?_

That one question made it easier to ask this time. "Can Jake come over and watch movies with me tomorrow night?"

The change in his face told me he didn't approve. I tried to cut off his objection before he even got it out.

"I know you're working tomorrow and I know I promised you that he wouldn't come over but we followed your rules the last time and I hardly get to see him anymore and I really miss him, Dad."

My eyes shot open and I slapped my hand over my mouth as I realized what I said. I had rushed through everything so fast that the last part slipped out by accident. I was panicking and wondering how I was going to take that last part back when his laugh surprised me.

"You should see your face right now," he said, pointing at me.

I was too shocked to answer.

"It's okay." My hand fell a little, he smiled. "You've kept your promise to me, Bells…a lot better than I actually expected you to. I know how teenagers are and I thought you would try sneak Jake in, but you didn't and he didn't even try to push the rules. I respect that."

Both of my hands ended up behind my back as I crossed my fingers.

"So, the same rules apply for tomorrow night, Bells. Jake can come over but he has to be home by nine and I will have Billy call me if he's even one minute late."

I launched myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Thank you, thank you, thank you." I kissed him on the cheek and ran toward the stairs. "I gotta tell Jake."

I screamed thank you again just before I ran through my door. I grabbed the phone, breathing a little heavy and heard Jacob laughing.

"You're so cute, doll. I'm guessing it went well."

"Yeah, what time do you want to come over?" I was bouncing on the balls of my feet, waiting for him to answer.

"Well, since now is a little too soon…" I giggled at his little joke. "…why don't you call me when you get home from work?"

Spinning around in circles now, I answered, "Okay, I can't wait."

"Me either, doll. I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too, Jake. I love you so much." Thinking of everything I needed to get ready for tomorrow, I rushed off the phone. "'Kay I'm gonna go. I miss you and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Good night, doll."

I flopped onto my bed, but was too keyed up to just lie there. So, I jumped up and grabbed a piece of paper and pen to start making a list of everything I would need for tomorrow. My bouncing didn't stop. Jacob and I were finally going to get the time together that we'd been missing and I couldn't wait.

* * *

**I'm weighing the options…Edward shirtless or alone time with Jake? Hmm…tough choice. Yeah…no, not really. Who wouldn't take the shirt Edward isn't wearing, strangle Jake with it and then run off with Edward? I know I would but since Bella is still clueless, I wouldn't expect it to happen. **

**Thanks for sticking with me and remember, leave me a little something to tell me what you think. Until next time, my loves …much love to you - D**


	25. Overwhelmed

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.**

**Thanks as always to my pre-reader Loulabelle and my beta AgoodWITCH for all of the input, great comments and overall support on my stories. I love you girls so much.**

**A/N: I am so, so sorry this has taken me forever to update. I had no idea so much time had passed, but I'm working hard so it doesn't happen again.**

* * *

_**Chp24 Recap: **__While finally covering the news desk, Bella had to stand up to Charlie when he tried to get her taken off of a story. She stood her ground and convinced him that she could handle herself. When it was time to head home, however, she rediscovered some of the feelings she had for Edward as he and the rest of the group came to pick her up that night._

_The end of the school year is here, but some interesting things happen before Bella leaves the school behind for the summer. First, she is offered a summer internship at the newspaper, which leaves her no time for Jacob, causing him to become distant. And second, she receives more anonymous notes saying goodbye for the summer from someone who obviously cares about her, which cause her to rethink her relationship with Jacob._

_In the end, though, Bella decides to forget about her 'secret admirer' and do what she has to, to fix her relationship with Jacob. So, with Charlie's permission, Bella and Jacob have a date._

_So let's get back to the story, shall we._

**Chapter 25 – Overwhelmed**

**BPOV**

Everything was ready. The lasagna was cooling, the garlic bread was done, the cake was frosted, the pie was cut and the soda was chilling in the freezer because Jacob loved them ice cold. I took a step back and looked at the food covering the counter and blew out a deep breath.

Okay, maybe I overdid it just a little bit, but I wanted this to be perfect. The tension between Jacob and me had pushed us both to the edge and if tonight went well, I would feel better about our dating status. I'd been questioning what we were to each other since school let out a month ago and I didn't want to guess anymore.

I ran out of the kitchen, heading for my room to get ready before he got here, nothing special but I at least wanted to look decent for him. I was brushing my hair out when I heard the front door open and close.

"Hey Bells?" Jacob called out to me.

"In my room. Be down in a sec," I yelled down to him.

After pulling my hair into a ponytail, I took the stairs as quickly as I could without stumbling. I turned toward the living room but he wasn't there. His amused voice came from behind me as two strong arms wrapped around my shoulders.

"Were you planning on feeding an army tonight?" he asked.

He ducked his head, touching his lips to my neck. I hummed at the feel of it and laid my hands on his arms just to hold him there. I missed this. I missed us and it felt so good to be in his arms again. He trailed his kisses up towards my ear and I tapped his arm to get his attention.

"Come on; let's eat before it gets cold." I giggled when I heard his groan.

He spun me around and caught me in a breathtaking kiss. My hands brought him closer and I forgot all about the food in the other room. He pulled away when we both needed to breathe and touched his forehead to mine.

"You're amazing, doll." He kissed the tip of my nose. "Let's eat."

I took a step back, grabbed his hand and led him into the kitchen. He sat at the table while I served our food. When I turned to him with our plates in hand, he had a huge smile on his face.

"What's that smile for?" I asked.

"You're just so damn cute, making dinner for me like a good little wife," he teased.

I wasn't amused. His plate hit the table hard and he lost his smile instantly.

"I am no one's wife, Jacob Black," I said forcefully. "You of all people should know how I feel about marriage. It's just _not_ gonna happen. So get rid of that idea right now."

"Relax beautiful, I was just teasing you." He tugged on the waistband of my jeans, pulling me into his lap. "I already know you're never gonna marry me, so you don't have to worry your pretty little head about it."

"Well, as long as you remember that," I kissed his nose this time, "then we're all good."

I got up to get the soda from the freezer and sat down with him to eat. Our conversation was easy like always, never a dull moment and always joking around. We were so comfortable together and I was glad we started our relationship as friends because it gave us the foundation to be together like this.

When dinner was done, he helped me clean up so we could get to our movie faster than if I did everything alone. I put the movie in the DVD player and settled in with Jacob on the couch. The closeness was nice. He was sitting at the end of the couch and I was in his lap, leaning against the armrest. His right hand was stroking my hair and his left was entwined with mine, lying on my stomach.

We stayed like that for the first hour of the movie and his fingers in my hair felt so good that the movement nearly put me to sleep. I moved to sit up and lean into his side to make sure I stayed awake. He shifted himself to more of a laying position so I didn't have to strain my neck and wrapped his arm around my shoulder to hold me.

With him holding me this way, I couldn't believe I ever doubted our relationship. I could feel how much he cared about me with every squeeze of his arm and every kiss to my head. It was a far cry from every other time he was here in the past seven months. Not that I was complaining or anything, because I loved making out with him but tonight, this meant so much more to me than any of that.

The movie ended and I got up to put in the next one but as I sat down, he spoke the words that I never thought I would hear come from his mouth.

"Hey doll, why don't you sit here and relax while I go grab you a piece of that pie. Apple, right?"

Like he even had to ask. He knew me so well and knew I would rather have a slice of apple pie than cake any day. The only reason I made the cake in the first place was because I knew how much he and my dad loved a good cake, but I just didn't share in their choice.

He moved quickly to the kitchen, banged around for a few minutes and came back with a slice of pie and a glass of chocolate milk. I smiled when I took them from him because no one – not even my dad or Alice – seemed to remember that I loved chocolate milk instead of regular with my desserts. He was full of more surprises than I expected.

We spent some time eating our desserts and talking before we were ready to start the next movie. Unfortunately, with our time restriction we were barely going to make it through before Jacob had to leave. I didn't want to interrupt the movie so I had to ask him about the party before we started it.

"Hey Jake, I was wondering," I paused a second, afraid to ask.

"What's up, doll?" He jumped in.

"Um…I was wondering if you would come with me to Alice's party on the Fourth?" I exhaled when I was finished.

His face dropped slightly and he reached to put his plate on the table.

"Bella, I don't know. Do you really think I'm welcome there?" he asked, sounding worried.

His forehead creased with his frown. I was about to answer, but he cut me off.

"Before you start freaking out, I'm not saying no, but just think about it. You know Alice doesn't like me and it's gotten worse since Cullen showed up." I frowned this time. "Come on, Bella. You know she wants you to be with him…not me. Ever since Rose started dating Emmett and the girls have been hanging around with the Cullens more often, you haven't been with them as much and I know it bugs her and I know for a fact that she blames _me_ for it."

"It's not like that, Jake. She wants me to be happy and she knows that I want to be with you. If I _tell her_ you're coming, she won't make a big deal about it." I tried to reason with him.

"Get real, Bella. You think she's gonna be happy with me being there when you know as well as I do that she already invited Cullen, hoping you two could hook up."

"But I don't want that." I moved over and sat in his lap. "I only want you, Jake. I don't want _him _anywhere near me." I grabbed his face, looking him right in the eye. "You believe that…right?"

His eyes moved between mine for a second and I could tell he was trying to see any doubt in my eyes. He wouldn't find any, no matter how long he looked. In a second, I was crushed against his chest as he held me tight and whispered in my ear.

"I believe you, doll. I just wish…" He hesitated.

"Tell me, Jake," I asked.

"I wish they would like me enough to stop trying to force the two of you together." He pulled back and dropped his head. "I keep waiting for the day when you'll just give up on me and go to him. I just can't lose you that way."

I pulled his face up so he was looking at me. "I. Do. Not. Want. Him." I searched his eyes, hoping to see acceptance. "I love you, Jacob Black…and only you. The sooner you believe that, the better off we'll be."

"What would I do without you, Bella?" He kissed me softly.

"Suffer a long…" I kissed his cheek, "boring…" I kissed his other cheek, "miserable…" I kissed the tip of his nose, "existence." I kissed his lips again with a little more force than he used.

There was nothing frantic or hurried about this kiss. We just sat together, savoring the moment. His hands were rubbing circles on my back, for once not venturing any lower. His hand reached up to my cheek and used a little force to push me away, both of us breathing a little heavy. He smiled and brushed his lips against mine one more time.

"What do you say we forget this movie and just be here together?"

His smile was bright and the suggestion was one of the best I'd heard in a long time.

"I can't think of anything I'd like more."

I crawled off his lap to take our dishes to the kitchen. I would clean them up when he went home. When I walked back into the room, he told me he'd set his alarm so he wouldn't be late and then put his cell phone on the table before settling into the couch to get comfortable.

I waited until he held his hand out to me before going to the couch and lying down with him, snuggling into his side. His arms went around me again and he rested his chin on the top of my head. Honestly, I was still waiting for the make out session to begin since that's what most of our nights together led to, but he didn't seem to want that. He sighed, kissing the top of my head, and in that moment, this seemed more intimate to me than anything we had ever done together.

"I really have missed you, Bella," he whispered into my hair.

"I've missed you too, Jake." I exhaled and placed an innocent kiss on his chest. "We definitely need to do this more often.

"Yeah, we do." His arms tightened around me, holding me to his chest.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

The day of the party, I found myself standing in the middle of Alice's bedroom, staring at myself in the full-length mirror and hating myself – and both girls, for that matter – for ever agreeing with this. I knew better than to let Alice play dress up with me, I'd had way too many bad experiences to draw from. This time Rosalie talked me into it and I figured she would at least save me from Alice's torture, but I was so very wrong.

"Alice, you can't seriously expect me to go down there like this," I whined as I tugged at the shorts she gave me to wear, hoping to add some length to them.

"Why not, Bella?" Rosalie asked. "You look hot!"

"Because I'm practically naked, that's why not!" My frustration at the clothes Alice put me in was starting to show.

"Bella, it's only a pair of shorts and a halter, not a string bikini." Alice rolled her eyes at me, waving me off with a dismissive hand.

"But you know she has one of those and won't hesitate to use it if you don't quit your bitching." Rosalie laughed from her relaxed position on the bed. "Besides, I don't think Jake would mind seeing you right now." She winked at me.

I couldn't say that Rosalie was excited about the fact that I was still with Jake, but she would never come out and attack him the way Alice did. While Alice always believed she had my best interests at heart when she did some of the things she did, Rosalie really did want me to be happy and she was going to support me no matter what.

"This has nothing to do with Jake. I don't even know if he's coming or not." I shrugged. "I'm more worried about what my dad will do if he sees me dressed like this."

"Oh come on, Bella. You know Charlie's working. He's not going to see a thing." Alice put down her lip gloss and turned away from the mirror. "Even if he did, you have him so wrapped around your little finger that it won't be a big deal."

"Right, so after Charlie shows up here and kills me for this outfit, he's gonna go after you…and you," I said, pointing at both of them, "for making me wear this."

Rosalie sat up, glaring at me. "It's this or the bikini, Bella. Take your pick."

I grabbed the closest teddy bear and flung it at her and her scream caused us all to laugh. When we calmed down, we were all sitting on the bed when Alice changed the subject.

"So Bella, have you had a chance to look over that list yet?" she asked.

"What list?" I asked.

"The list of possible secret admirers we made." Her stare was making me nervous. "You know I've just about invited the whole school, he's bound to be here."

"What would it matter if he was? I don't know who it is anyway." I dismissed her, not wanting to talk about this.

It was one thing to entertain the thought a month ago when Jacob was blowing me off, but after the other night, how could I even think about another guy right now.

"I've decided once and for all that it doesn't matter who he is. Jake and I are okay and I don't want anyone else," I said with conviction.

"Again! How can you say that without even knowing who it is?" she pouted.

"Because, Alice, as long as Jake and I are still together, looking for another guy is wrong. I won't do that to him."

"So it doesn't matter how many times he's done it to you." She was starting to get angry. "You can just forget about every other…"

"Enough, Alice." Rosalie jumped in and saved us from another fight. "Jake did some pretty fucked up shit in the past, but he hasn't done anything to hurt her now. Give the guy a break already. Bella made her choice, now drop it."

Alice huffed and was just about to say something else when the doorbell rang. I was saved but as she and Rosalie got up to leave the room, Alice gave me the look that said this conversation was far from over. When it came to Jacob, the 'conversation' was never over.

I left the room seconds after they did and heard Rosalie's squeal just as my foot landed on the top step. That squeal meant that Emmett just walked into the room. I stopped and took a few deep breaths to calm the sudden nervousness that hit me, because Emmett being here meant that Edward was right behind him.

I knew this was coming and I was just going to have to play nice for a day. The plan was to avoid him at all costs, but I didn't know if I could do it. I would never disrespect one of Alice's guests in her house, so if he were to find his way into the same room I was in, I would have to find a way to deal with it. I just hoped there would be enough people here today that they could keep him occupied and he would stay away from me.

_You can do this, Bella. It's just one day._

I took another deep breath, exhaled and went to get this day started. I gave myself a pep talk all the way down the stairs but as soon as I rounded the corner, I knew I was in trouble. Emmett and Jasper were there, wrapped around the girls, talking casually. And then there was Edward, leaning against the door, hands in his pockets and a smile on his face.

I think my heart skipped a couple of beats at the sight of him. He was gorgeous as he stood there, taunting me with the muscles I knew were hidden under that shirt. My feet were frozen, the butterflies in my stomach went wild and I couldn't stop staring. The second my heart started again, I realized that my initial plan to avoid him was useless. Being this close to him, I had the strongest urge to just walk up to him and wrap my arms around him. I was going to have to figure out a way to force myself away from him. If we were any closer than this…

That thought was cut off when I noticed a couple of bags on the floor and remembered that Emmett was going to be bringing some of the food for the barbeque. Thankfully, cooking was going to be my distraction for the next couple of hours. So I gathered my strength and walked further into the room to pick up the bags.

Edward saw me come in and instantly stood up straight; his smile was gone, leaving him looking nervous. I hated that look and wanted him to smile again, but I forced that thought out of my mind as I reached for the bags.

"Hey guys." I tried to keep my eyes off of Edward. "Thanks for bringing the food, Emmett."

Trying to not look at Edward was impossible. My eyes were drawn to him and as I stood up with the bags in my hands, our eyes locked. My heartbeat took off and my pulse raced just at the look in his eyes. I was frozen again, trapped in the same hypnotic gaze he had the day I first met him.

_Breathe, Bella. Get a hold of yourself and get the hell out of this room._

I still couldn't move… couldn't tear my eyes away.

_Move your ass, Bella. Get away from him before you do something stupid._

_**Stupid might be a good thing right now, Bella.**_

I shook my head to get rid of that thought just as I heard that sweet voice.

"Do you need any help?" Edward asked.

I hadn't let him get close enough to me to even hear his voice since that day in the car. The sound of it made my stomach do flips and definitely didn't help with the speed of my heartbeat. There was no way I was letting him follow me into the kitchen…alone…where anything could happen.

"I got it. That's what I'm here for." My voice was amazingly steady considering I could barely breathe.

I turned my back and walked as fast as I could to the kitchen. From behind me, I heard Jasper's quiet voice. "Edward, breathe."

As soon as I turned the corner, I dropped the bags and fell against the refrigerator. The cold metal of the door stung my back and I remembered the ridiculous outfit Alice had dressed me in. I could kill her for making me wear this and parading me around half naked in front of Edward. I just wanted to find someplace to hide and stay there until this whole party was over. There was no way I was going to make it through this day.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Thankfully, more people showed up than even Alice expected which meant two things; one…Edward was too busy hanging out with the guys to come anywhere near me – believe me, I looked – and two…my cooking duties lasted for the majority of the party. Emmett tried to relieve me a couple of times, but I told him no. This was my hiding place where no one bothered me unless they wanted another hamburger. Even after the last person was fed, I was still standing there grilling up the rest of the food until Jasper came and shut everything down on me.

"What are you are doing, Jasper? I wasn't done." The annoyance showed in my voice.

"Umm…Alice said to tell you something about a bikini if you didn't get in there and act like this was a party." He sounded confused as he gave me Alice's message.

I rolled my eyes and laughed at his confusion. I had hoped to hide out a little bit longer, but I was evidently being forced to join this party one way or another. I walked as slowly as I could into the kitchen to put the rest of the uncooked food away and noticed the mess of plates and cups scattered all over.

I ignored the blaring music coming from the other room as I grabbed a plastic bag and began to clean up. I made my way through the kitchen, dining room and was halfway through the backyard when Emmett found me.

"Hey short stuff." His grin could only be described as mischievous. "Where's the boyfriend tonight?"

After six months, I could still count on one hand how many times I'd spoken to Emmett and here he was teasing me with a nickname that I never knew he'd given me, and he was asking me about Jacob.

"He's busy tonight. Why?" Suspicion and curiosity came out in my tone.

"Well I was wondering if he was gonna be here for the show."

I had no clue what the hell he was talking about and was about to ask when he held up the tiniest piece of material I'd ever seen. He held the skimpy bikini top to his chest with one hand and the bottoms spread over the fingers of his other hand as he put them on display.

"Rose told me this was your outfit for the rest of the night and I was kinda wondering what you had planned. Not that I'm gonna be watching, but I know there are _some people_ in there that will be really, really interested."

My cheeks burned with the blush that came over me. "Oh my God! Give me that!" I grabbed the bikini and hit Emmett's chest a few times.

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger. Rose made me do it."

If he weren't laughing so hysterically, I might have believed he was sorry. I threw the offensive pieces of fabric into the trash bag I was holding and left it there while I went to find my so-called best friends. Teasing me was one thing, but outright humiliating me with Emmett and Jasper as pawns in their little game was something different.

I stormed into the house checking a few of the rooms I knew were open to guests, hoping to find them together so I only did this once. They were nowhere to be seen, so I made my way to the living room where the music was playing and crowds of people were packed together, dancing.

Scanning the room quickly proved useless. Alice was short enough that I wouldn't have seen her over the bouncing heads anyway and Rosalie's blonde hair didn't jump out at me either. Assuming she made her way back to Emmett, I turned to head back outside to see if he was still there. I didn't expect to find myself in someone's arms the second I turned around.

"Hey…" My voice left me as I looked up to see Edward's eyes bearing down on me. Again, I was locked in the intensity of his stare and just like this afternoon, I couldn't move…I couldn't breathe…I couldn't think. The music was gone, everyone disappeared and it was just Edward and I, his arms around me and my hands trapped between us, lying on his chest.

My eyes fell to my hands and my mind brought up the image of Edward, shirtless in the park. I bit my bottom lip to keep from groaning out loud over the memory as my fingers developed a mind of their own and started caressing his chest. I watched as they made their way from his chest to his arms where they moved slowly up and down his biceps softly touching the muscles underneath.

My eyes followed their path up his arms to his shoulders where they finally stopped. When I brought my eyes back to his, his gaze was softer somehow – less intense – replaced by a sadness that tore at my heart. I wanted to take that look away and put the brightness back in his eyes that he had that day in the cafeteria. I wanted to see his smile again, the beautiful one I had seen hours ago.

I felt the touch of his fingertips as they traced small lines back and forth across my bare back just above my top. His other hand lifted slowly, the backs of his fingers touching my cheek lightly as they burned a line from my jaw up into my hair. His eyes moved from mine to watch his own fingers stroke my hair and when his hand settled on the back of my neck, his eyes found mine again, holding me captive.

We stood there, staring at each other for God knows how long. He pulled me closer and I could feel my heart matching the wild beating of his, our breaths mingled together in the inch of space between us and the heat rising in my body could only be caused by him. I saw his heart and soul in his eyes and I knew that this was my Edward holding me now. The beautiful boy who had been just a dream was here with me and I didn't want to let him go.

"Edward," I whispered his name softly, hoping not to ruin whatever this was between us.

"I know, Bella." His voice was just as soft. His fingers ran through the back of my hair as they guided me closer to him. "Please, may I…"

I felt my body fall forward as I watched Edward slam into the wall behind him. The room was suddenly loud and chaotic again and there was a tightening on my arm as I stumbled backwards. It took a second to clear my head and I realized I was being dragged away.

I fought for a second before I realized it was Jacob taking me away from Edward. We were in the middle of the front yard when he finally let me go.

"What the hell, Bella." He was pissed, standing a couple of feet away from me. "Would you like to tell me why I ditched my family to be here with you, and I get here to find you with _him_?"

"Jake, that was not…" He cut me off.

"Do not even tell me that it's not what it looked like or that it was nothing." His arm jerked towards the house. "That was not nothing."

"Jake…"

"I told you." His voice cracked, giving away how upset he was. "I fucking told you, Bella, she was going to bring him here so you two could hook up." He turned his back on me, but turned back around right away. "And what did you tell me, huh?"

His pain was so easy to see and hear as he spoke, but I couldn't answer him, too ashamed of my actions as I remembered what I said to him just a few days ago.

"What? You don't remember…" He took a step closer to me and I could see the hurt written all over his face. "…well let me remind you. _'I only want you, Jake. I don't want him anywhere near me.'_ Those _were_ your exact words, right?"

I still couldn't make a sound.

"We _were_ talking about Cullen that night, weren't we? Or is there someone else out there that you don't want?"

He turned his back on me again like he wanted to walk away but when he couldn't go, he turned back around, grabbing and holding my hands to his chest.

"You've never lied to me, Bella," he choked out. "I believed you and you just proved to me how stupid I was to listen."

The pain in his voice cut through me. I never, ever wanted to be the one to cause this. I finally found my voice and I had to explain.

"Jake, I'm sorry. I never lied to you. I don't know what happened. I didn't even see him…I just got caught up…I didn't realize he…" I couldn't even finish a whole sentence.

He backed a few steps away from me.

"I know I've messed up, Bella, and I've apologized over and over and over again. But I never thought you would…"

"No, Edward, don't!" Alice's voice screaming behind me caught Jacob's attention.

I wasn't completely turned around before I was pushed aside as Edward went after Jacob. I regained my balance just in time to see the punch land on Jacob's cheek. Just as he pulled his arm back to swing at Edward, Emmett moved in and knocked Jacob back a few steps.

"Don't even fucking think about it, Jake!" Emmett yelled as he turned and pushed Edward into Jasper's waiting arms. "Get him inside!"

I knew what Jacob would do and I couldn't let him fight. I ran to him and wrapped my arms around him, hoping I could calm him down.

"Jake please, stop. Let's just go." He fought against me, trying to get me out of his way. "Don't do this, please." I begged him.

"What?" That deflated him a little. "You're protecting him now?"

"No Jake! He's not worth it." I let go, grabbing his hands to pull him away. "I want to go. Please, let's just go?" I begged again.

"Bella, don't you even care that he's been…" Edward started to yell, but Jacob cut him off.

"Stay out of this, Cullen!" Jacob yelled as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "Come on, Bella. Let's go."

He started to lead me away but before we made it to the end of the yard, Alice's hand was on my arm.

"Bella, where are you going? I thought you were staying here tonight." Her face was a mixture of hurt and anger.

I jerked my arm away. "As long as you keep bringing _him_ around," I pointed to Edward without looking at him, "I won't be here!"

I turned back around and stormed off in the direction of my house. Jacob was walking a couple of feet away from me. Now that we were away from Alice's house, he didn't seem to want anything to do with me.

"Jake, I'm sorry." I felt the need to explain. "I honestly don't know what happened. I was looking for Alice and Rose and bumped into him instead. It couldn't have been more than a few minutes that I…"

"Fifteen minutes, Bella." His voice sounded flat. "I stood there watching you for fifteen minutes, waiting for you to pull away from him, waiting for you to do something, but you didn't."

His voice was hard, his tone…angry, but I could also hear the ache he was trying to hide. I couldn't believe I messed this up so badly.

"When I saw him try to kiss you…" he paused, shaking his head. "I always believed that, with everything we've already been through, you would never cheat on me. You were too good for that."

We were at my front door now, walking the two blocks faster than I was ready for. I walked up the couple of steps to unlock the front door, but he stayed standing at the edge of the sidewalk, glaring at me.

"You were already gonna let him kiss you, Bella. How far were you going to take it, huh? You know what he wants from you. Were you that ready to become another notch on his belt? Do you want him that bad that you were willing to throw away whatever this _was _between us just to say you had him," he paused, "just like all the other girls in school."

My mind was slow to catch all his words, but it suddenly clicked that he was referring to our relationship in the past tense. I couldn't let him think that way.

"No Jake, I told you it just…"

"Happened…right, I got it." He threw my earlier words in my face.

Disgust mixed with the anger that was already in his voice. I was losing him and there was nothing I could say to make this better. I had to keep trying. He had to listen to me.

"Jake, I made a mistake, okay. It's not like you've never done…" He cut me off.

"Don't you dare bring that up!" He towered over me, trapping me in his cold glare, leaving me unable to speak. "I fucked up and I've been apologizing for it for over a year now. How many more times do I have to say it? Please, give me a number so I can reach it and finally be forgiven." His agitation wouldn't allow him to stand still any longer and he started pacing back and forth in front of me.

He was right. I had been holding the past over his head this whole time, using it as an excuse every time I felt insecure about something. Now, I was the one who was cheating. I couldn't keep my eyes off of Edward when we were in school. I wanted to run to him that day in the park. I wanted to hold him every time I saw him and I really did want to kiss him tonight and probably would have if Jacob didn't stop me. When did I turn into this? What kind of person was I that I would tell my boyfriend I loved him one day and try to kiss someone else the next? Jacob's voice brought me out of my thoughts.

"That right there is exactly what I'm talking about!" His words didn't make sense. "You weren't even listening to me! You were off in your own little world and if I had to guess, I would say that _your_ world had Cullen in it." He stopped right in front of me. "Well you know what, you can keep him…I'm done! If you want him so bad, Bella, run to him…right now!"

Tears poured from my eyes with every cruel word he spoke. He was breaking up with me and I was speechless, unable to say anything to make him stop.

"Go!" He raised his voice, making me jump. "I bet he's sitting there right now waiting for you to come running back to him. Well don't let me stand in your way anymore, Bella. I'm outta here."

He stormed off down the street while I stayed frozen on the sidewalk, watching him leave. My head was spinning and I couldn't make sense of what just happened. My eyes went back and forth, looking to my left, seeing Jacob's back as he got farther away from me and then looking slightly right, seeing the empty street that led back to Alice's house…back to Edward.

I had to make a choice, but I couldn't think as the tightening in my chest threatened to cut off all air going to my lungs, making me light-headed. My body moved on instinct seeming to make the choice for me as I started running.

"Jake, wait!"

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

The week after our huge fight was intense. There was a lot of talking, yelling, arguing and begging – on my part – going on between us, and every talk after the first day was done face to face because it was just too easy to lie over the phone. I wanted to get this all out in the open so we could move on and the only way to do that was for both of us to sit down and talk about everything that we thought was wrong in our relationship. We spent more time together in that one week than we had since we used to do our fast food/movie nights before the Cullens came to town.

While we didn't seem to be making much progress in the first two weeks, we had at least agreed that we both wanted to try and work things out. Our conversations were less heated than they had been that first week, and after about four weeks, we were falling more into the comfort level that we had before the fight. Laughs and smiles didn't feel forced anymore, our joking and playing around became easier and we were finally able to just sit together, wrapped in each other's arms without the awkwardness we felt in those first few weeks.

Things were back on track and I was thankful that I could finally breathe again. The stress that I brought into work with me every day because of this seemed to slowly go away too. I was sure it was a relief to Mr. Sawyer to have me back and focused again because he wouldn't have to come down on me all the time and then feel bad about it later.

I understood that, as the boss, he was only doing what he had to, so I didn't take anything personal. I had to admit though, the past couple of weeks had been nice and calm and I didn't have to hear Mr. Sawyer yell "Swan" ten times a day. I was back to being Bella again…or so I thought anyway.

"Swan, get in here," Mr. Sawyer called from across the room.

There hadn't been much going on this week, and I had been working on some filler pieces lately, nothing too exciting. Things were going well for me, so I had no idea what would have caused him to call out for me like that.

I hurried to his office to find out what was going on and as I got there, I noticed we weren't alone. Mr. Sawyer was on the phone and Michael Shields was sitting in one of the chairs in front of the desk. After closing the door, I took my seat and opened up my notebook, ready to take down my next assignment.

"Michael," I whispered, hoping not to interrupt Mr. Sawyer, "what's going on?"

"Could be something big, but I'm not sure yet," he whispered back.

The huge smile on his face told me that this was going to be good. Michael and I had worked together a couple of times since the summer began, and we made a good team. I had already earned his respect with the way I handled myself during our assignment covering the bar fight and he seemed to challenge me more that most of the others, making me strive to work harder.

Mr. Sawyer put the receiver down, lifted his glasses and rubbed his eyes for a second before he focused on us. He looked stressed which was an extreme contrast to Michael's excitement. I clutched onto the notebook in my lap and waited for one of them to speak.

"Bella, through one of his contacts, Michael's come across what could be a huge story and he wants you to work it with him." He frowned slightly before continuing. "I'm not sure how comfortable I am with this because this could get a little…intense." He struggled for that last word and it didn't sit well with me.

"I can do it, Mr. Sawyer." I tried not to sound too eager. "Whatever it is, I'm ready for the challenge."

"Be careful, Bella. You don't want to get yourself involved in something you can't handle," he warned me.

That kind of freaked me out a bit because he'd never once tried to talk me out of taking on a story before. I began fidgeting in my seat, starting to second-guess myself, thinking maybe I should say no.

"Wait a minute," Michael interrupted. "Why don't we start by telling her what we've got going first before you talk her out of it?"

Mr. Sawyer sat back in his chair and motioned to Michael. "Okay…explain."

Michael turned to me with a light in his eyes, excitement poured off of him and the sudden change in mood made my head spin.

"Bella, you know as journalists we don't always have the most…how do I say it…" he thought for a second, "…legitimate contacts."

This already wasn't sounding good. I stayed quiet, trying to keep my nerves in check while he spoke.

"We take the stories where we can get them and most times, an informant will give us the best tips. I've had a 'working' relationship with one such gentleman for years and he's given me the heads up on several of the biggest stories I've covered."

He paused for a second, allowing me a chance to breathe and process what he said.

"I got a call from him a couple of weeks ago and he told me there are a couple of new drug dealers down in the south side of town. It's a fairly new operation, but they've taken over there and a majority of their users…" he paused again and looked at Mr. Sawyer. "The majority of their users are kids."

I gasped, covered my mouth and shook my head. I didn't know what to say to that.

"Now, my informant isn't the most upstanding citizen himself, but there's a moral line there that even he won't cross. When he saw the kids going in and out of that house, he felt he had to do something." He sat back in his chair. "This is a decent neighborhood and those kids are probably around fifteen or sixteen years old. It wasn't right so he went to his contact on the force, but got the runaround and it didn't sit right with him."

"So what does he want you to do about it?" I asked, panic filling my voice. "If you do a story about a place like that they could kill you." I looked to Mr. Sawyer. "You can't let him do a story like this."

"Relax Bella, I'm not stupid." He rolled his eyes like this was no big deal. "In my experience, the drug house will get taken care of. My focus will be broken into two pieces; the first being the teen drug use. That's a huge issue that needs to be exposed and hopefully brought under control."

"Just under control! That's it!" I couldn't believe that was enough for him. "We have to stop this! These are kids my age. They shouldn't be doing drugs. God, those could be some of the kids I go to school with, how can you say…"

"Calm down, Bella," Mr. Sawyer spoke up. "I don't want to sound condescending in any way, but you have to know that teenagers out there are using drugs. Alcohol, marijuana, meth are the most common, but I can guarantee you that there are some out there – some your age – that are using the harder drugs."

I sat listening to him speak. Of course I knew there were some kids using drugs, but I would never think about them using the harder stuff.

"You cannot be naïve enough to think this is a problem that's just going to go away. It'll slow down, sure, but it'll never really go away. What Michael and I are hoping is to shed light on the situation and the neighborhoods that this is becoming a problem in. Hopefully that will make more parents take notice of their kid's activities which in turn will remedy part of the problem."

His explanation calmed me down some, but I wasn't going to say I was happy about the whole situation. My mind was racing and I started picturing kids in my school that could possibly be involved in something like this. It gave me a great idea. I started scribbling furiously in my notebook.

"Okay I know where I can go with this." I glanced at the two of them and then back down at my notes. "What if we…"

"Wait Bella, I'm not done," Michael interrupted me.

When I looked up, I saw his eyes and for the first time since walking in here, he looked a little worried. I didn't know what it was about that look, but I was instantly nervous.

"The teen drug use is only the first part of this piece. The second is where this could get a little tricky."

His words were measured, only increasing my nerves and keeping me on edge. I wanted to shake him and make him tell me already.

"The worry that my informant had when he spoke to his contact on the force doesn't quite sit well with me either. Their reluctance to even listen to the concerns of a man they pay for information might mean there is more going on here." He stopped talking, glancing at Mr. Sawyer.

I sat next to him trying to process the words, but my mind was fighting against the possibility. Was he seriously trying to suggest that the police were covering this up? He continued, interrupting my thoughts.

"I have a really bad feeling that there could be some police involvement here. All I have are suspicions right now, nothing concrete yet. But I've been doing this a long time and more often than not I can get a good sense about a story – you might call them hunches or gut instincts – and after I chase down all the leads, my initial assumptions are usually proven correct." He sat still now, waiting for me to speak.

I sat in shock for a second, not knowing exactly what to say. He was sitting here telling a cop's daughter that the police in this town were dirty. Exactly how did he expect me to react to that? Anger filled me as I thought about his implication, but I couldn't let them know how upset I was at this. Journalists were supposed to be impartial and I was going to try really, really hard to act that way.

"Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You think there are dirty cops out there. Are you serious?" I asked in disbelief. "They're there to help us. Not to get involved in drug operations especially ones that target kids." I knew I needed to calm down but it wasn't working. "How many officers do you know? I mean really know?"

I was standing now, trying to keep my calm but failing miserably. I needed answers. How could he even be thinking this?

"Well, I've known them my whole life and I know that what you're suggesting is completely crazy. You can't sit there and think that I would actually help you investigate the police…investigate my father!"

As soon as I mentioned my dad, there was no being impartial anymore. Now I was just angry.

"What do you want me to do, Michael, spy on him? Find out if he's…"

"No, Bella, I would never suspect your father of such a thing. Charlie is a good man. There is no way he would ever be involved in something like this." He tried to assure me.

"We would never ask you to get involved in that kind of investigation. Michael will be handling that aspect, of course." Mr. Sawyer cut in. "Right now, Bella, we want you to find out everything you can about the drugs that are being distributed from this place. We want all the research you can find; what the drugs are made of, what makes them so addicting, possible distribution methods…anything. We need every detail you can dig up."

I still didn't like the fact that they were doing any kind of investigation on the police department, but knowing I wasn't going to be a part of that helped me breathe a little easier. I could handle the drug angle of it and just like that, my original idea came back to me.

"I can do that," I said after I sat back down. "And I'm going to find a way to check on some things with a few kids I know that do drugs like that. They get kind of nervous when I'm around, being a cop's daughter and all, but maybe my dad will let me go to a couple of the back to school parties coming up in the next couple of weeks. If they see me there, hanging out just like the rest of them, then maybe I could overhear something that would help."

"Are you sure, Bella?" Mr. Sawyer sounded concerned. "I don't want you to do something that could be…"

"I'll be fine. Kids talk a lot when they've been drinking or when they're high. I'll just sit and listen. I won't confront anyone directly. And I'll have my friends with me so I won't be alone." I assured him.

I knew I could do this. This part of the investigation would be easy.

"You knew right where my mind was headed, Bella." Michael smiled at my suggestion.

"Since we all agree then, let's get to work."

Mr. Sawyer went back to his computer as Michael and I walked out, ready to get started.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

The last few weeks of my summer vacation passed quickly. Half of my day was spent in the newsroom or on location when a story needed to be covered. The other half was spent on the computer or in the library, researching anything I could get my hands on. I threw myself completely into this assignment and found myself neglecting everyone again.

Jake came over a few times and sat with me in my room while I was focused on the computer. I felt bad for not giving him the attention he wanted, but I was so lost to what I was doing. The last time he was here, he was lying on the bed talking, but after the fourth time he had to repeat the same question without getting an answer, he stormed out on me.

Things went back to the way they were at the beginning of the summer with him backing off, not coming over or calling very much. It took some arguing to get him to come to the parties with me when I went because he knew Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett and, of course, Edward were all going to be there. He hated that Edward was going to be there but it made him feel a little better when I promised him not to leave his side all night.

I got some pretty good information while I was at one of the parties, overhearing a group of kids talking about how cheap they were getting their stash these days. I hid in the hallway, listening for a little bit and got a couple leads, but later when I asked around to find out who the kids were, I found out they were from another school. I wasn't going to be able to get what I needed easily. I was going to have to think of something else.

I wasn't ready to give up yet, but I seemed to be out of time. Mr. Sawyer called me into his office the Friday before school started and I knew I was going to have to give up everything I had been working on. I had a whole file of information put together to hand to him, but when I got there, he surprised me by telling me that, with my dad's permission, I was able to continue working on this piece until we finished. My assignment in the newsroom was over but I was able to keep working at home with the understanding that I had to report in three times a week after school.

With that settled, everything was set for the new school year to start. I was ready to go back to see everyone again and I couldn't wait to see Mr. Collins to let him know how this whole summer went. I was back in his class again and this year, if I impressed him enough, I would be in a better position to get some of my stories into the paper.

The first day of school came and I was up and ready to go in no time. My dad made me breakfast before I ran out the door to meet Alice at the bus stop. She went on excitedly about a date she and Jasper had gone on to the movies a couple of days earlier and I smacked in the arm a couple of times for admitting to practically going all the way in the back of the movie theater.

Jacob and his friends weren't at the bus stop today, but I wasn't exactly expecting to see them. Sam got his driver's license a little over a week ago so they were probably riding to school with him. I still had three months to wait before I got mine, but once I did, Alice and I weren't going to be taking the bus anymore.

We talked all the way to school, texting Rosalie the whole way, and we split up when we got there. Alice and Rosalie's lockers were in a different hallway than mine so I went to mine alone. I put all my things away and did some organizing while I waited for the girls to meet me. I was in homeroom with Rosalie this year and Alice was going to be in the room next door so we headed off together.

The day was long and boring as the teachers in each class took their time to go over class expectations as they did every year. During lunch, I was excited to find out that Angela was going to be in the debate class with me and Rosalie next period. With the three of us in one class, debates were going to be a piece of cake. We heard from one of the juniors that if we wanted to be on the same debate team, we had to sit together. So that was the plan as the three of us walked into the room.

We grabbed the first three seats to make sure we were together. We sat and began talking about how we would work as a team, but shortly after we sat down, I started to get that eerie feeling, like someone was watching me. I looked around and my eyes landed on Edward, sitting in the back row, watching me.

My groan as I turned back to the girls caught Rosalie's attention and she looked over my shoulder. She smiled and waved at Edward.

"Oh, I forgot he was going to be in the class," she said, a little too innocently when she turned back around.

I was just about to call her on the obvious lie when the teacher swooped in and the bell rang.

"All right class, quiet down," Mrs. Martin said as she pulled a file from her desk. "On your feet everyone. We're going to be doing things a bit different this year. So, when I call attendance, I want you to fill the seats from the left side of the room to the right until I have everyone in alphabetical order."

"Damn it," Rosalie said in a hushed voice.

"So much for a team." Angela spoke up right after Rose.

I just cringed because with my luck, I was going to be stuck on a team with Edward and that was the last thing I wanted to happen.

We stepped away from the desks as Mrs. Martin started reading off the names and I shivered involuntarily as Edward passed me, touching my back lightly when he walked by. Rosalie tried to disguise her laugh as a cough as she noticed my reaction to him, but I gave her a death glare and she stopped.

Mrs. Martin finished seating all of us in order and Angela and I were sitting in the back, Rosalie was almost dead center and Edward was on the left side of the room near the front.

_At least he can't stare at me from there._

"Okay class we are going to have two teams this year. The yellow line," she pointed to the yellow tape between the desks on the floor, "divides the class in half. This side," she motioned to the left, "will be team one and the other side will be team two. There will be five major debates this year." Mrs. Martin continued. "You will learn proper debate etiquette and techniques and you will spend your time researching your topics and determining debate order before each."

She paused and I looked around the room. I was still lucky enough to be on a team with Rosalie but Angela was going to be alone…well not completely, she was stuck with Edward.

"All five topics are in the syllabus being handed back to you now. I want two leads per topic while the others will be doing the majority of the research. Now, if you're all ready…let's get started."

My copy of the syllabus finally made it to my hands and I flipped through it. Every discussion topic was pretty straight forward but when I got to the last one, my groan caught the attention of everyone around me.

After I read it, my eyes instantly found Edward and I cringed. I peeked back down at the page again, hoping I read it wrong. But no…there it was, plain as day 'Topic: Discuss the Pros and Cons of Sexual Intercourse Before Marriage.' My hands flew to my eyes and I rubbed them hard, wishing the words would disappear.

"This is going to be a fucking nightmare," I whispered to myself.

* * *

**Okay, hands in the air…who wants to slap the hell out of Bella? *jumps up and down* I do…I do. How do you get that close to kissing Edward and let Jake screw it up? And how do you run back to Jacob when he told you to go to back to Edward? I don't understand the girl. I just write what she tells me. Don't worry my lovelies, things may seem bad now but Edward is going to get some help. He isn't going to take this lying down.**

**Thanks for sticking with me and remember, leave me a little something to tell me what you think. Until next time, my loves …much love to you - D**


	26. Carlisle To The Rescue

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.**

**Thanks as always to my beta AgoodWITCH for all of the input, great comments and overall support on my stories. I love you so much.**

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**Chapter 26**

**EPOV**

"I'm done, Alice! I can't do this anymore!" I yelled as I paced the floor of Alice's bedroom.

She and Jasper have had me locked in here, trying to calm me down since they dragged me back inside after forcing me to stand and watch Bella walk away with Jake's arm wrapped around her like they were so in love. It was all a bunch of bullshit, but I couldn't say anything about it because then I would look like the fucking asshole just trying to break them up. Their relationship was a fucking joke.

I knew for a fact that Jake didn't care about her the way he claimed to. I'd seen Leah and him together more than once and it wasn't the friendly 'oh I just bumped into her' thing that he tried to play it off as. That fucker had been cheating on Bella since I got here and who the fuck knows how long before that. But would Bella listen, fuck no! She wouldn't let anyone tell her anything as she went on living in her own little delusional world, thinking everything was perfect. How fucking far from perfect can you get?

"Don't say that, Edward," Alice begged. "If anyone can get through to her, it's you. I know she has feelings for you even if she doesn't want to admit it. Look at what happened tonight; she wouldn't have let you get that close to her if she didn't care about you."

Yeah let me take another look at what had been happening all god damned day, not just tonight. Almost as soon as I walked through the door, Bella had walked into the room and the sight of her literally took my breath away. She didn't even look at me as she reached for the bags of food that we brought with us. It was obvious that she wanted to ignore me all together – looking at everyone else but me as she said hello – and I considered it a gift when she stood up and our eyes met.

The connection that always seemed to belong to just us was there again. I was sure it was only a few seconds but for me, it was like time had stopped and I had her all to myself again. That's what it always felt like when we were locked in one of our eternal staring matches, but it never mattered. Nothing with her ever mattered and I was left alone again as she disregarded me one more time and walked off to the kitchen.

For the rest of the day, it felt like every God in heaven was working against me. Bella never moved away from the grill and every time I tried to make my way over to talk to her, someone cut me off and started an endless conversation with me. The only consolation I had was that I had caught her watching me…a lot, fueling the hope that if I was lucky enough to get her alone, I could end all of this and finally make her see how much I cared about her.

Every other time I had tried ended up being a massive failure, pushing her away from me even more. The one good idea I'd had was to send her the poems I had written for her while we were in school. I even went as far as sending a note to her, telling her how much I would miss her during the summer. Unfortunately, that plan was doomed from the start because I was too chicken shit to sign my name to them, afraid that once she knew it was me, she would reject me to my face again and I couldn't handle that.

But tonight I finally had my chance. After my countless attempts to approach her all day, some crazy accident had her in my arms as she ran into me while trying to walk out of the room. Her eyes held me prisoner as she stared at me with more feeling than I'd seen from her since my first day at school. I wanted to talk to her and tell her everything I'd held inside of me for the past ten months, but my brain lost its power to control anything in my body, leaving me speechless and frozen in place.

Everything faded around us and I lost my hold on reality as her fingers began moving in circles over my chest. This couldn't be real, Bella only touched me like this in my dreams. My body was on fire as her hands drifted to my arms, her fingers slowly running over the muscles there. Her touch was so soft and held so much feeling that I had to bite my tongue to keep from making any sound that would surely end this moment between us.

As her hands rested on my shoulders, her eyes found mine again and the tenderness I saw there nearly ripped my heart to shreds. I wanted to be with her like that every day but how was I supposed to make that happen when I couldn't speak. I felt a small shudder as my fingers moved without permission, caressing her bare back. With skin like silk, I wanted so much more. My other hand moved to touch her cheek, the backs of my fingers burned as they lightly touched the skin along her jaw, making their way up to her hair.

My eyes were drawn to the sight of my hand stroking her hair and I couldn't believe she was letting me touch her this way. When my other hand found the back of her neck, my eyes were gazing into hers again and I prayed she could see everything I felt for her. I pulled her to me, wanting her as close to me as she would allow. I felt her racing heartbeat and could only hope she was feeling everything I was.

The feeling only intensified the second she whispered my name and I was lost in her again. I wanted to kiss her so badly, but it wasn't something I would just take from her. I cared for her too much for that. Slowly pulling her closer to me, I regained the use of my mouth and began to ask her permission.

"Please, may I…" was all I managed before it felt like a rock slammed into me, knocking me against the wall.

I shook my head to clear it and saw Jake, pulling Bella out the door by her arm. I was ready to kill him for treating her that way but as I ran towards the door, Emmett grabbed me around the waist to stop me. He tried to talk me down, clear my head, but that shit wasn't working and I fought against him to get to Bella.

I'd never laid a hand on my brother in anger before, but in that moment, he was in my way. One elbow to the stomach, a punch to the jaw and I was out of his grasp, running for the door again. I heard someone call me but the sight of Jake yelling at Bella erased everything else from my mind.

Flying past Bella, my fist connected with Jake's cheek. He pulled back to hit me but again, before I could block the punch to land another one, Emmett jumped in, knocking Jake back a few steps. His body turned to me and both hands slammed into my chest, pushing me into Jasper, who grabbed my arms and pinned them behind my back. I couldn't fucking move.

If that humiliation wasn't bad enough, Bella went to comfort Jake, begging him to leave with her and telling him that I wasn't worth the fight. Not even ten minutes ago, she was inches away from kissing me and now she's screaming that I'm not worth anything. I tried to tell her about Jake then, but he yelled over me so she couldn't hear the truth. Then he was leading her away from me so he could keep her on that damn leash he held her on.

"She doesn't fucking care, Alice! When are you going to get that through your head?"

"Edward." Jasper's warning tone stopped me from saying anything else.

"Yes she does, Edward. I can see it in her eyes when she looks at you."

She sounded desperate for me to believe her, but I was past the point of believing and hoping. I just wanted this to be over.

"I looked in her eyes, Alice, and maybe it was there for a second, but that second is gone and so is she." I could feel the weight of the decision I was about to make crushing my chest. "She made her fucking choice and now I'm making mine."

Ignoring the puppy dog eyes she was giving me, I turned to Jasper where he was blocking the door.

"Get the fuck out of my way, Jasper. I'm done with this bullshit. I'm going home."

Jasper moved slower than I needed him to, so I pushed him to the side before throwing the door open to make my escape.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

My mind was running on overdrive all night and I couldn't sleep. I'd been in bed staring at my ceiling since coming home from Alice's house and, with my mind wandering the way it was, I wasn't getting anywhere. I knew I had to figure out the best way to make myself happy, but nothing was coming to me.

I couldn't explain it but I knew being with Bella would make me happy. Even though we were never given the chance to spend much time together, there was just something there between us and I knew. Unfortunately, being together wasn't a possibility, so I was going to have to find a way to be happy without her because waiting for her was killing me.

Too frustrated to sleep, I threw the covers off me and got out of bed. I tiptoed down the stairs to make sure I didn't wake anyone and went to sit on the back deck. Maybe some fresh air would do me some good.

The night was quiet except for the booming sound of a few fireworks that were being set off somewhere in town. There weren't many so they didn't bother me much. I sat staring out at the park behind the house, trying to gather my thoughts, but just as it was in my room, my mind was racing and I couldn't form a single thought long enough to make a difference.

The sound of the sliding glass door opening behind me startled me a bit. I turned and saw my dad standing in the doorway, looking concerned.

"Is everything alright, Edward?" he asked, stepping out onto the deck and closing the door behind him.

"Not really," I answered.

He sat in the chair next to me without saying another word. I knew he was waiting for me to speak, but I didn't know where to start. Things had been so messed up for so long and I was ready to give up, but even I knew that it would be the wrong decision to make.

"Bella hates me." I shrugged.

It was sad that everything that hurt me so much could be summed up in three little words.

"What makes you think that?" he asked.

"She said I wasn't worth anything." I hated repeating her words.

"What?" He sounded shocked.

"It was all a misunderstanding. She refused to talk to me. She won't even look at me…well sometimes she does and I think she likes me but I…" It all rushed out.

"Edward, stop," he interrupted. "You're rambling, Son. Take a deep breath, slow down and just talk."

I did what he asked, taking several deep breaths while trying to figure out where to start. He knew a little bit about what I was feeling for Bella from the talk we had a while back but I had never told him anything other than that. I always found a way to change the subject. Unfortunately, that wasn't going to work this time. So I decided to go back and start at the beginning.

"It all started with a misunderstanding and I wanted to fix it…talk to her about it so she would have understood that Jessica and I never had anything going."

"What does Jessica have to do with any of this?"

I rubbed my hands over my face, blowing out a deep breath. I didn't want to go over this with him, but my dad always did look at things with an open mind and he saw things differently than most people. Maybe, if I was lucky, he would help me find a way out of this mess.

"When Emmett and I went to that New Year's Eve party with her, we kissed and made out a little, but it was never more than that," I clarified. "She wanted there to be more, but I just didn't feel that way about her. Then, when we got to school, Bella and I were finally able to sit down and talk, but Jessica interrupted us and Bella took off all upset."

I stopped for a second, remembering that day. If I could have just caught up with her things could have been different.

"Do you know why she left like that?" Dad asked.

"I didn't at first and when I tried to talk to her after school, she blew me off," I said. "Jasper told me that it was because of Jessica. She kind of has this…reputation around school." I tried to say it as nicely as I could without giving away too much.

"Ahh, I see," he said more to himself than to me.

"As soon as I found out, I understood why Bella got so upset, but she never gave me the chance to explain. She completely ignored me. She wouldn't even let her friends talk about me. Alice told me that they would get into a fight every time my name was even mentioned."

"It sounds like she's overreacting just a little," he said.

"If it was _just _Jessica, then I would agree with you, but I'm not done," I mumbled.

"I'm not going to like this, am I?" he questioned me.

He already knew the answer to that question, so I just continued without answering.

"Things went completely out of control from there. If Jessica wasn't bad enough, I had to deal with Lauren too. You remember her, right?" I asked. "That girl I went shopping with?"

"Oh I remember your mom telling me all about her. She said she talked a lot." He laughed.

"A lot is an understatement." I rolled my eyes. "The girl wouldn't shut up. She was a nightmare. I would literally applaud anyone who could deal with her for more than a few hours. I nearly gave up on all the manners you and mom taught me and strangled the girl. From that day on, I tried to keep our contact at a minimum."

I could hear him trying to keep from laughing out loud.

"This isn't funny, Dad. It's your fault."

I heard the gasp as he choked out a 'what' in response.

"If _you_ hadn't taught me to always try to help a lady, then I wouldn't have ever gotten involved with her, and they wouldn't have started stalking me." That brought his laughing to a stop.

"Who's stalking you?" Dad asked.

"Jessica and Lauren," I grumbled. "They always 'just happened' to show up wherever I was. The two of them would turn up in the library when I was trying to study. They would show up at soccer practice, calling my name while I was trying to concentrate. They even showed up at the movie theater when the four of us went out one night."

My hands went into my hair, pulling hard out of frustration.

"They cornered me at the concession stand when I offered to go get mom some popcorn. I talked to them for a few minutes, but only to be polite. I was never more thankful for Emmett when he came looking for me, saving me from them."

"I wondered why you looked stressed when you came back." He exhaled loudly. "Since then your attitude's gotten progressively worse. It worried me, but you never came to me. You've always come to me before."

"I know and I'm sorry for worrying you. I just…" I hesitated and my shoulders slumped.

"What, Edward?" When I didn't answer, he continued. "What's the real problem here?"

I'd been thinking about that all night and I thought I'd finally come up with the answer. It was the only explanation for Bella's behavior; the hot and cold feelings I get from her when we're even close to each other.

"Since all this started, I've caught Bella watching me a few times. But, I think she's been watching me closer than I thought. Unfortunately, she's not watching close enough." I took a breath. "I think Bella has seen me with all the other girls and, because they're all the same type of girls, she had to think that I…"

"All?" That one word held more disapproval than I'd ever heard him speak before. "What do you mean _all_, Edward? Just how many girls are you seeing? Haven't I taught you better than that?"

"I'm not seeing anyone, Dad. These girls have all come on to me. They want to go out with me but none of them interest me that way." I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes. It was too late for this conversation.

I got out of my chair and went to lean against the railing of the deck, facing my dad. He sat with his elbows resting on his knees and his hands clasped in front of him, staring at me intently. The street light on the side of the house gave me just enough light to see the disappointment on his face.

"After Jessica and Lauren, this girl, Victoria, started hanging all over me all the time. She would find me in the halls or at lunch and she was always touching or hugging me." I shivered at the memory. "I told her I had no interest in her but it didn't make a difference, she wouldn't let up," I said. "She came here one day before you got home from work and that was enough for me. I had to tell her straight out that there was no way in hell that I would go out with her. She finally got the hint and left me alone."

My dad sat there and, to me, it looked like he wasn't any more thrilled with me than he was a minute ago. I expected it to get worse as I finished my story.

"By the time Tanya made her move, though, I'd had enough and I told her right away that she had no chance with me. It took her few more days and more harsh words from me for her to finally get it, but she left me alone after that. I hated to be so rude, but they used up every ounce of patience I had."

"Edward," my dad said, sounding aggravated. "How did you let yourself get involved with girls like that?"

"Aren't you listening to me?" I nearly shouted the words. "I've never been involved with _any _of them. They came to me and I tried to talk to them as I would anyone else, but they had other ideas in mind. How is that my fault?" I threw my hands up in the air. "It's bad enough that _I_ had to deal with them but if I'm right, and Bella thinks the same way you just did, can you imagine how she sees me right now? It's no fucking wonder why she hates me."

"Edward," my dad's stern voice stopped me. "Lower your voice and watch your language. You know better."

"Sorry, Dad. It's just so frustrating. I've been trying so hard to get her to talk to me, but now that I know what she's thinking, I don't blame her for hating me."

I started pacing, trying to work off the nervous energy that had built up in me over the last several minutes.

"You want to know the funny thing about all this." I paused. "I had actually accepted it for a while and tried to get Bella out of my mind."

My thoughts went to those two weeks with Kate.

"I met this girl, Kate. She kind of had the same reputation as the other girls, but there was something different about her. She was nice, nothing like the other girls at all. We started to get to know each other and I liked her, nothing like Bella, of course, but we had a lot in common and I really did want to know more about her. So I planned to ask her out on a date. Emmett even offered to drive us." I exhaled. "But before I asked, all my plans went out the window the second I noticed that Bella seemed interested in me again."

I sat back in my chair again to finish explaining.

"I would catch her looking at me all the time and that only gave me hope that I could get her to talk to me and see that she was the only girl I wanted. You know, before Kate, I had tried writing Bella a poem on Valentine's Day, hoping she would read it and know how much she meant to me, but I was too afraid to sign my name to it."

"Why?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Alice told me I should but I was afraid to make things worse if Bella didn't like it. She even told me that Bella wanted to find out who wrote it and I should have told her then, but before I could get the nerve to do it, I was crushed all over again when Alice told me that Bella gave up and decided it wasn't worth knowing."

I finished off my story by telling him what had happened at the party, why I came home so early and the decision I had made to finally give up. He sat quietly, listening to every word and when I was finished, he still wasn't ready to speak. His head dropped and his hand lifted to rub the back of his neck.

Finally, he brought his head up, looking me in the eye with his hands clasped in front of him again. The way he was looking at me now, you would have thought he was a psychiatrist instead of a physician. He took a deep breath before he spoke.

"Let me make sure I have this straight. You say Bella's seen you with all these other girls and you think that she believes you've been intimate with them. You said that tonight you shared this 'moment' and that the two of you almost kissed. Now you're saying you think she hates you."

I nodded, agreeing with his shortened version of the past six months.

He shook his head. "I don't think she does."

He sat up straight, causing half of his face to fall into the shadows. The side that was visible was completely serious.

"Edward, have you taken the time to see this through her eyes?" he asked.

I shook my head because I honestly hadn't thought about it like this until tonight.

"Bella has known these girls a lot longer than she's known you. She knows their character and she's seen how they handle themselves. Now she sees you – this boy she likes…a lot, by my guess – hanging around with these girls, one right after the other." He took a breath. "It's safe to say that Bella believes you are having sex with these girls then tossing them aside and that it's your intention to do the same with her?"

"But I couldn't… I would never do something like that." He had to know me better than that.

"I didn't say you did. I'm saying that this is what _she_ may be thinking."

"But how could she think that? Those other girls don't interest me in the slightest. I could never be with someone like that," I argued.

"I know that and you know that, but does Bella know that? Son, did it ever occur to you that maybe she's afraid of getting close to you? She's keeping her distance so you _don't_ think of her that way? And have you considered the fact that this boyfriend of hers knows this and is feeding her fears?" he questioned.

It all made sense. Bella and I always seemed to be drawn together and when we were close to each other, it was obvious we both felt the same way. What happened between us tonight just proved that fact. It was only when Jake was around that she changed and had this irrational hatred towards me. He had to be telling her lies to _make _her hate me.

"That son of a bitch!" I growled. I was up and pacing the deck again.

"Edward," dad said, his disappointment showing again.

"I'm sorry, but I think I know what's been going on and I'm not going to let him get away with it," I promised. "He has lied to her for the last time. I'm not going to sit by and let him…"

"Edward." He cut me off. "Do you want my advice?"

I didn't answer. I was too lost in my thoughts about how I was going to tear Jake apart for his role in all of this. My dad's hands on my shoulders brought me back to our conversation.

"Edward, listen to me. You won't touch that boy. Do you understand me?"

"But Dad, he…" I tried to reason with him but he cut me off again.

"First, I _will not_ put up with you fighting anymore. I didn't raise you that way and I'm not going to let it continue." I could see in his eyes that he was putting his foot down. "Second, if you want anything to work between you and Bella, you can't touch him. Not only will you push her farther away, but if you were to hurt him, she would never forgive you."

I hated that he was always so rational about everything. He let go of my arms but didn't move away from me.

"This is something you're going to have to work out with Bella…in person." He held up his hand when I was ready to argue. "I know you said that she won't talk to you, but you have to find a way, Edward. Just from the little you've told me, I suspect that she really does care about you and she has to know the truth. If her boyfriend is being dishonest with her and she won't let her friends give her the real story, then _you_ have to find a way to get her to listen to you."

He placed his hand gently on my shoulder and his tone softened. "I know how much you care about her, Edward. I've already told you this, but don't let yourself make the same mistakes that I did, Son. Don't give up on her if you truly care about her. You owe it to yourself and to Bella to tell her the truth. If, after knowing the whole story, she still chooses him over you, then you'll have to accept it. But if the truth finally brings the two of you together, think of how happy you'll be."

I hugged him. "Thanks, Dad."

He chuckled. "You're welcome. I'm always here if you need me, you know that." He took a step away. "Now, your mom is probably wondering why it's taken me an hour to get a glass of water. I'll see you in the morning."

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The rest of the summer passed quickly. I had spent the majority of my time on the soccer field. Before school ended, I had tried out and made it onto one of the competitive teams run by the MLS team here and our season was coming to a close. On top of that, I was still practicing with the school's team and with Emmett and Jasper on the weekends. Soccer was the only thing keeping me focused while I was biding my time to get back to school…and Bella.

After Alice's disastrous party, the only time I saw Bella again was at the back to school parties that Alice and Emmett dragged me to. I wasn't in the mood to be there and seeing Bella and Jake together didn't make the nights any better for me. I had been waiting for my chance to talk to her, but she and Jake seemed to be attached at the hip. Not only that, she had given me looks like she wished I were dead.

I decided to let it go rather than get angry about it, because I knew what was going on now and I knew it was only a matter of time before Bella learned the truth and Jake got what was coming to him. It was going to happen. I promised myself, if it was the last thing I did, I was going to make Bella see the truth.

I had already told everyone my theory about why Bella had been acting the way she was and the news made Alice and Rose furious. Rose couldn't believe that Jake could be so underhanded and lie to Bella that way and Alice was pissed because Jake was back to his old ways – whatever that meant. Of course, only Emmett, Jasper and I knew that Jake had lied about a hell of a lot more than that. If the girls knew Jake was cheating on Bella, there would be no way we could stop them from trying to kill him. So we kept that bit of information to ourselves. Needless to say, all of them, especially Alice, were on my side and ready to help me do whatever it would take to get Bella to sit still long enough to listen to me.

The day before school started, the five of us were hanging out in our family room, talking about the new school year and classes we were taking. We were passing our schedules around to see who had class with whom, but when Rose got mine she laughed. She pulled Alice to her, hiding their heads behind the paper and laughing some more.

"What's your problem, Rose?" Emmett asked.

"Nothing," she said in a strained voice, trying to keep from laughing.

Her lips were pressed tightly together and her face was turning red from the effort it took to not laugh. But, as she handed me back my schedule, she couldn't hold it in anymore. She and Alice were practically rolling around on the ground, unable to control themselves. Jasper, Emmett and I shared the same confused looks as we watched the two of them laugh hysterically.

When it seemed they were finally calming down, I had to ask, "Do you two mind telling the rest of us what the hell that was all about?"

Two very innocent sounding 'nothings' fell from their lips at almost the exact same time as they shared a knowing look. They were up to something. But knowing how girls are, I knew I wouldn't get an answer if I asked, so I dropped it. We spent the day that way, laughing and joking around and just enjoying the last of our days off.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

The first day of school was pretty boring, with the same old dull lectures telling us what was expected of us in each class. I didn't understand why we couldn't just get down to it right away since everything each teacher told us was printed in the syllabus they handed out anyway.

On the way to lunch, Mr. D caught me, Jasper and Emmett in the hallway on our way to the cafeteria. He asked how we were doing and how we thought the team was going to do this year. Emmett told him with complete confidence that this season was going to be a piece of cake and we'd bring home the state title again this year. Knowing how good the team had been looking lately, Jasper and I agreed with his prediction, which seemed to make Mr. D happy as he strode off toward his office.

After finally making it to the cafeteria, I can honestly say that I had only glanced in Bella's direction twice and both times it was only because they were making so much noise that they got everyone's attention. I was getting better at not focusing totally on her now that I knew this whole mess was going to come to an end soon. I was finally able to relax.

The bell rang to end our lunch hour and I took off to my debate class. The room was nearly empty when I got there so I grabbed a seat in back and waited for the bell to ring. I was consumed with drawing meaningless patterns on my paper when I heard her voice. I dropped my pen and sat up to see Bella, Rosalie and Angela laughing and talking animatedly in the front of the room.

After a few seconds, Bella turned in her chair and my body stiffened when she saw me. She rolled her eyes and gave me that 'I want you dead' look again before whispering something to Rose, who looked back at me and gave me her innocent look right before she smiled and waved at me. Her laughing fit from yesterday made more sense now. She knew Bella and I were going to be in this class together.

The teacher came swooping into the room and informed us that she was going to be sitting us in alphabetical order so she could divide our class in half to form our debate teams. When she called my name, I moved towards the front of the room to take my seat. On my way there, however, I passed right behind Bella and I couldn't resist the urge to touch her.

I felt her shiver as my fingers slid across her back and it gave me hope that underneath all the anger that she was sending my way, she really felt the same way I did. As soon as everyone was sitting in their correct seats, Mrs. Martin told us how the class was to be divided and I noticed that Bella and Rose would both be on the other team, which was fine with me because I didn't know if I could work with her without being too distracted to be useful.

I listened while Mrs. Martin went over the specifics of the class and she pointed out the topics of the debates we would be preparing for during the semester. When I saw the final topic, the grin on my face was completely involuntary. I had no problem discussing the negative about sex before marriage. It was a value I grew up on and it gave me the perfect chance I needed to show Bella the type of guy I really am. So, I shot a quick text message to Rose to make sure that she and Bella were the leads on that particular topic and I would do the same on my team.

The only downfall was that it came near the end of the semester. It would, of course, give me a chance to go with my original plan to talk to her before then. But, knowing that her feelings for me were going to make that plan difficult to accomplish, I was excited to have a back-up plan.

This was going to work. One way or another, by the end of this semester, Bella was going to know the real me.

* * *

**Edward isn't ready to give up on Bella. He has a plan. Now let's just see if it works.**

**Thanks for sticking with me and remember, leave me a little something to tell me what you think. Until next time, my loves …much love to you - D**


	27. Love, Lies and Betrayals

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.**

**Thanks as always to my beta AgoodWITCH for all of the input, great comments and overall support on my stories. I love you so much.**

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**Chapter 27 – Love, Lies and Betrayals**

**EPOV**

"Come on, Edward. I'm not going to be late on the second day of school," Emmett shouted at me through my locked door.

Now that I knew Bella was going to be in my class this semester, I took a little longer than necessary getting ready. From the day I got here, I'd always tried to look good for her but today, I didn't want her to be able to look away. I wanted to catch her attention and keep her eyes on me. It made it easier to talk to her if I had the slightest hint that she was still interested.

Remembering the night of the party, she seemed to like it when she ran her hands over my chest and arms. I knew my muscles were nowhere near as big as Emmett's, but they were big enough and I wasn't above using them to my advantage. I decided on a tight black tank shirt, a black and white stripped dress shirt over it with the buttons left undone and a pair of black jeans that, according to Alice, were sure to make Bella's jaw drop. Perfect.

But the right clothes were only part of it because, without anyone knowing, I had other ways of keeping her interested. As Emmett pounded on my door, I was putting the finishing touch on my latest note for Bella. From what Alice told me, I knew she was happy when she got the notes in her locker and she always wanted to know who was leaving them for her. I wanted to tell her but I knew she would never accept anything from me. So it was going to stay my secret until I was able to talk to her.

"I'm gonna leave your ass here if you don't hurry up!" Emmett yelled, still pounding on the door.

"I'm coming," I yelled back. "Calm the fuck down already."

I licked the tip of the envelope to seal it and stuck it in my bag. I was ready. One way or another, I was going to get Bella's attention today.

"I'm done all right," I said as grabbed my sunglasses and yanked my door open.

"Damn!" Emmett laughed, bouncing up and down like a little kid. "And here I thought Jasper was the pretty boy. You're gonna bring Bella to her knees today."

"Shut the hell up, Emmett." I punched him in the chest.

"No really," he said as he threw his arm over my shoulder. "If you weren't my brother…"

His sentence died right there when I elbowed him in the ribs and ran down the stairs. Emmett chased me out to the car, kidney punching me when he caught me trying to pull open the door.

"Come on, Ed, get that pretty ass in the car," he said as he pinched my ass.

"Get off me," I said as I pushed him away.

He laughed and teased me the whole way to school but I didn't care what he had to say. Bella's opinion was the only one that mattered to me. We pulled into the lot and hurried into the building since we were already running late. I wanted to stop by Bella's locker before I went to class, so Emmett and I went separate ways at the door.

Not wanting to get caught, I sent Rose and Alice a text message to make sure Bella was with one of them before I dropped off my little present for her.

**Is she with u…E**

**Not me…Ali**

Alice answered first.

**She's right here. ur clear…Rose**

**Thx. ur the best…E**

I knew I would never be able to repay the girls for all the help they'd given me, but once Bella and I had our chance, I would definitely find a way.

Without the chance of being caught, I made my way to Bella's locker. I pulled the note out of my bag, took a look around to make sure no one was watching and slid the envelope through the slot at the top.

"Soon, Bella." I rested a hand on the locker door like I was touching her and breathed deep. "Please listen."

"Hey Edward." Jessica's voice made me jump.

"Oh hey, Jessica."

"Are you…?"

"Sorry," I cut her off, "I gotta go before I'm late."

I left her standing in the middle of the hallway as I took off running to class.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

I made it to the end of the day and had no idea if Bella found my note or not. Neither of the girls had said anything and it was making me think the worst. Maybe Bella got it and threw it away, not caring what it said. Maybe she was pissed because some stranger keeps sending her letters. Maybe her reaction was so bad that the girls didn't want to tell me. Whatever the answer was, not knowing was making me crazy.

I was distracted through soccer practice and got yelled at by the coach because my passes were off, my timing was horrible and I missed an easy goal when I had a wide open shot. I needed to get my head in the game but my mind kept wandering to Bella.

"What the hell, Edward," Jasper yelled, pushing my shoulder when I missed another goal.

"Sorry, just distracted," I answered him.

"Well get your shit straight or get off the field," he hollered as he ran off to get in position for the goal kick.

As captain of the offense, Jasper was all business when we were on the field and he didn't take any shit from anyone, no matter if they were a friend or not. If I didn't want to end up on the sidelines, I needed to step up my game. My worries about Bella were going to have to wait until after practice. So, I took a second to get myself together and played my game.

The rest of practice went on like normal and when I got back to the locker room, my cell still didn't have any messages. I couldn't take it anymore and I dialed Alice's number.

"Hey Edward," she said, sounding all happy like she didn't care if I was freaking out here.

"Hey Edward…hey Edward," I shouted. "Is that all you have to say?"

"What do you want me to say?"

_Is she purposely trying to piss me off?_

"Don't play with me, Alice," I growled at her. "You know what I'm talking about."

Her breath was heavy on the other end. "I'm sorry, Edward. She didn't mention anything about your note. I know she had to have found it but she didn't tell either one of us about it."

My shoulders slumped. _So much for making her notice me._

"Edward," Alice's voice was quiet.

"Thanks Alice." My voice had no life to it.

"Edward, don't give up," she urged. "Whatever you do, don't give up. If anyone can get through to her and get her away from Jake, it's you."

"But I…" I started.

"Stop it!" she said harshly, "A week ago, you were so confident that this was going to work. Don't lose that over one little setback." I had nothing to say to that, so she continued. "Listen, I've known Bella most of my life and I usually know what's going on inside that girl's head. So believe me when I tell you that she really does like you."

Her words were giving me hope when I was ready to give it up again.

"She's fighting it but honestly, I agree with your dad. She's fighting because she's scared you're going to hurt her. Once she knows the great guy you are, she's gonna let you in, Edward, and she's going to love you."

"That's what I'm hoping for, Alice. Thanks."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Weeks passed and I had more mixed signals than I knew what to do with. Bella would still avoid, ignore or yell at me when I made any attempt to talk to her, but I would still catch her watching me, sometimes during lunch or peeking around corners in the library while we did research for our debates.

Not only that, I would find her in the stands at every game we played and most times, when I turned to look at her, she was staring right back at me. I was sure that if anyone ever asked her, she would say she was there to watch Jake, but with as often as her eyes were on me, I wouldn't believe it.

I was getting nowhere with her but I was taking Alice's advice not to give up. Like my dad said, I owed it to Bella to tell her the truth, not only about me but about Jake too. It was getting harder and harder to keep my mouth shut about what he was doing. I knew it would hurt her but I just wanted to open Bella's eyes to it all. She deserved better than him.

My only course of action was to keep trying. One week I tried to talk to her in the library, but she walked away. The next week, I tried to catch her at her locker, she hollered at me to get away from her. The week after that, I tried to catch up with her after a game but she saw me coming and headed straight over to Jake. I was completely frustrated and I had to keep telling myself to keep trying. One day she would listen and when that happened, I knew Bella would choose me over him.

By mid-October, my attention was more focused on the team than anything else – even Bella – because we were playing in the state championship in a week. Because of injuries earlier in the season, Jasper, Jake and Sam had officially made the varsity team but for this game, the first string of the junior varsity team was called up as alternates so I had to be ready just in case. Emmett, Jasper and I were practicing constantly; before and after school, in my backyard at night and over the weekend. This was the most important game of the year and we were ready.

Game day came and we were getting ready to get on the bus to head to the stadium. Kids filled the parking lot, giving us a great send off before everyone jumped in their cars to go to the game. Alice and Jasper were standing by the bus, heads pressed together and whispering to each other. It was their thing before every game. Emmett and Rose were standing with me talking about the celebration we were going to have after we won the game.

I looked to my left and saw Bella standing with Jake, Sam, Emily and Paul. The guys were loud and joking around with each other and Bella was talking and laughing with Emily. She looked happy and seeing her smile made me happy, even if she wasn't with me.

It came time to get on the bus and everyone was saying their goodbyes. I hung back a little, trying to psych myself up so I was mentally ready. When I finally made my way to the steps of the bus, I felt a hand on my arm. I turned and was shocked to see Bella behind me.

"Good luck, Edward." Her hand squeezed my arm. "I know you'll play and you'll be great."

It was so unexpected it left me speechless. The smile that spread across her face was beautiful. All I could do was stare like a complete idiot but before I could open my mouth, she was gone. I couldn't move, watching her as she waited to get into the car she was riding to the game in.

"Cullen!" The coach's voice shocked me out of my trance. "Get on this bus. You can stare at your girlfriend later!"

"Sorry Coach," I said as I jumped on the bus.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Tensions were running high; the score was tied at two with only fifteen minutes left in the game. Coach decided it was time to put in some fresh legs to gain some extra speed on the field so he called for me and Emmett.

"Cullen boys." He had adopted Jasper's way of calling both of us at the same time.

Coach stood between us, facing the field as he showed us what he wanted from us.

"They're strong on the left side." He pointed toward their defenders. "Emmett, I want you to pull the protection as far to the sideline as possible so Jasper can make his way into the middle. Feed the ball in about ten feet in front of him so he can run up on it for a good strike."

"Got it." Emmett nodded once.

"Edward, I want you on the right side to catch the long ball if it gets past Jasper." He turned his head to look me in the eye. "One touch on the ball to send it in. Their keeper is weak to his left so aim high for the corner. You've got the strong leg and the accuracy to thread it right under the crossbar."

I immediately pictured the targets I would set up in my own goal at home. I could hit those at least eight times out of ten from any angle. I had this.

"Sure thing, Coach."

He turned to signal the referee for the substitution and I turned to the crowd. All three girls were on their feet and Bella was pointing right at us. Her words '_you'll be great' _ran through my mind and it gave me more of a reason to play my best. I hit Emmett to get his attention and pointed back towards them. He grinned and blew a kiss to Rose.

When we turned our attention back to the field, he elbowed me in the arm. "Show her what you're made of, little brother."

"Damn right, Em."

The whistle blew just after Jake made his fifteenth save of the game, which sent the ball out of bounds. Emmett ran straight to Jake to tell him where to send the ball if he got his hands on it before we both took our defensive positions to guard against the corner kick.

For the next twelve minutes, nothing went our way. Emmett was heavily covered, unable to thread any decent pass between their defenders. Jasper had made two attempts on the goal, one went wide right and the other hit the post and bounced right to their defender who cleared it downfield. The only thing that saved us was Jake's brilliance in the goal, nothing got by him.

With his last save, Jake kicked the ball out to the left side, dropping it several feet in front of Emmett. He won the race to the ball and dribbled it down the left sideline just as he was told to do. Jasper was covered in the center and couldn't get open for the pass, so Emmett kicked the ball across the field to me.

In half a second, my mind registered three things at once; where the ball would land, my angle to the goal and the distance between the closest defender and me. He had been helping to cover Jasper so he didn't get another shot and was too slow to get back before the ball hit the ground, rolling in my direction.

The ball was placed perfectly and one touch was all I would need. Moving as fast as I could, I kicked the ball at the goal, taking my shot at the corner. The three of us followed the ball in while it was still in the air to get the rebound in case I missed. When the goalie got his fingers on it, my heart dropped, but it wasn't enough. The ball sailed past him, hit the post and bounced into the back of the net.

My arms raised in celebration as I dropped to my knees and Jasper slid right next to me, screaming in my ear. Emmett was hugging me a fraction of a second before I was swamped by more of my teammates. Elation, excitement and pride all mixed together as I heard my name over the loud speaker. It was a feeling like no other.

Unfortunately, this game wasn't over yet. We still had a minute and a half left and any extra time tacked on at the end before we could really celebrate. As we ran back to our side of the field, I looked up to Bella in the stands. She was still jumping up and down and cheering with the crowd. She stopped instantly when our eyes met and her smile was the brightest thing I'd seen in a long time.

She looked happy for me, nodding her head in approval. I remember being in this exact same position eight months ago only then it was me cheering her on as she swam in her own big race. For all of the months that she'd gone on hating me, seeing the excitement in her now gave me more hope than I ever had before. After a smile and a small wave, I focused back on the game again. Just a few more minutes and the championship would be ours.

Before the whistle blew to restart the game, I noticed that Paul had been brought into the game. His intensity would be a huge boost to our backfield and it was definitely needed. The attack from the other team was relentless, but our defense was holding their own, keeping the ball away from the goal.

Just as the other team set up for another attack on the goal, the sweet sound of the final whistle being blown rang in my ears. The enormous eruption from the crowd was echoed on the field as our whole team came together cheering, screaming, yelling, and celebrating our win.

In seconds, the stands emptied and we were swarmed by a mob of people. There was hugging, pats on the back and congratulations given to the whole team, but with all this going on, my only thought was that Bella was on the field somewhere and I needed to find her. I decided my best bet would be to find Emmett and Jasper first because the girls were probably with them.

I searched through the mass of people and finally found them standing together a short distance away from the crowd. Emmett and Rosalie were kissing like there was no tomorrow and Jasper and Alice were in their own world again, talking only to each other. Bella was on her toes, looking into the crowd and I could only smile as I hoped she was looking for me.

Walking towards them, my hope was confirmed as she spotted me and I watched the smile on her face grow as she moved in my direction too. She was so close but just as I reached out to her, I was knocked back a step when Jessica and Lauren slammed into me.

I felt each girl plant a kiss on my cheeks as I regained my balance. As I tried to get them off me, I looked to Bella and the look of disgust on her face nearly stopped my heart. She took off running before I could pull away from the two leeches that were ruining my life.

_This can't be happening._

I turned on them and yelled, "What the fuck! When are the two of you going to get it through your heads? I don't want _anything_ to do with you! Stay the fuck away from me!"

I spun around and took off after Bella. I couldn't take this anymore. She had to know that there's nothing going on. I searched the crowd and I saw her just as she threw herself into Jake's arms. I stopped dead in my tracks, watching him hold her and kiss her.

I stood frozen in place as he pulled away and I heard him speak.

"What's wrong, Bella? Why are you crying, doll?"

_Shit!_ She was crying and it was my fault.

Bella wiped her eyes and answered, "I'm just so happy for you."

I turned my back and walked away when she started kissing him again.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

I was sitting at my desk on the last day of school before Thanksgiving break, putting the finishing touches on another note to Bella. I didn't know why I bothered anymore because I had written one every week since school started and had absolutely no indication whether she read them or not. To prove my point, the girls didn't even know I was still writing them, so there were only two options that made sense; she was either keeping them to herself or she was throwing them away.

After three months, part of me wanted to give up but I knew with everything in me, that if she were given the whole truth, she would choose me in the end. It was that belief that kept me going, kept me trying. So I sealed my envelope and placed it in my bag before I met Emmett by the car.

Never wanting to get caught, I chose different days and different times while everyone was in class to leave my notes for her. Today, however, I'd been too busy with tests all morning to have a chance to slip out of class. I wanted to leave it for her before I went to lunch but as I got close to her locker, I saw her standing there staring at the floor, completely lost in her thoughts.

Alice swooped in and shook her shoulder a little, startling her. She jumped and when she lifted her head I saw such an intense look of sadness that I'd never seen on her face before. I felt the need to find out what was bothering her and help her any way I could, but Alice took her away from me before I had a chance.

After they left, I had my chance to slip my note for her into her locker. I didn't know what happened to put that look on her face but I hoped that my words would be able to help her in some way – that was if she was reading my notes, of course.

I was lost in my own thoughts when Emmett and Jasper met me at my locker for lunch. When Emmett asked if I was okay, I, of course, told him yes. He didn't need to know what I saw or how it upset me that I couldn't help her, so I wiped my emotions from my face and pretended that everything was fine.

As we walked into the cafeteria, I spotted Bella right away and she wasn't eating. While Alice talked, Bella just picked at the pizza sitting in front of her and I could see she had no intention of taking a single bite. That wasn't like her at all and it was killing me not know what was wrong with her. Watching her as much as I did, I noticed that there had been subtle changes in her mood lately, leaving her looking unhappy, but this was so much more than that.

Stepping into the line to pay for our food, I looked back at her again and this time she caught me. She just rolled her eyes and looked back down at her plate. I talked to the guys for a few seconds before I looked back again, only this time she was staring towards the door. Her face fell for a fraction of a second before she pulled herself back together. I followed her eyes to see Jake standing in line with Sam and Paul.

_No. If he hurt her, I swear I'm going to kill him._

Bella was on her feet in a flash and walking in my direction. As soon as she passed me, I couldn't resist anymore.

"Bella," I called, hoping she would answer just this once.

The look she gave me held so much anger and I knew that everything I had been waiting for was gone.

"God, she really does hate me," I said as she walked away from me without a second look.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

**BPOV**

I left my last class before lunch a little early since I had finished my test before the hour was up. Alice was still in class so I decided to check my locker for another note. I'd been waiting all week and hadn't gotten one yet. With the day half over, I knew it had to show up soon.

I stopped telling the girls about them months ago because every time I did, Alice would make a big deal about it. She was always on me to find out who it was, constantly pulling out that list we made when I got the one at the end of last year and I couldn't take it anymore.

I had never kept a secret from Alice before, but these notes were mine and I didn't really feel right sharing them with anyone anymore. They were so beautiful and poetic and it was as if the person writing them knew me on a level that no one had ever cared to understand before.

I really wished I knew who was sending them because, honestly, his words made me feel something I hadn't before. His words touched me on an emotional level that Jake was never able to reach. Jake was never that deep and, as much as I hated to admit it, I didn't believe he was really in love with me.

It never escaped my attention that he never really told me he loved me, not like I would say it to him. The only time he ever said it, it was always followed by 'you're my best friend.' I loved Jake, but it wasn't the kind of relationship I wanted, especially now that I knew there was someone out there who could make me fall for him with just his words.

My speed increased as I thought of how much I was craving those words right now. I hurried down the hallway and into the stairwell but before I hit the first step, I heard the echo of voices. I didn't want to interrupt so I turned to head back out before they realized I was there.

"I don't care, Jake. I'm done waiting."

The name stopped me cold and I recognized Leah's voice in a heartbeat.

"What do you want me to do?"

Hearing Jake's voice took my breath away and I grabbed the wall for support.

"You were supposed to break it off with her over the summer. You told me you were going to do it."

"I know, Leah, but…"

"But nothing. Do you know how much it hurts to see you with her?"

"I'm sorry, baby. I just don't want to hurt her. I've already hurt her so much."

"But it's okay to hurt me, is that it? You said you loved me but if you loved me, you would be with me, not hiding me and sneaking around hoping she doesn't find out."

"I do love you, Leah, but Bella…"

My breath caught in my throat and I was trying not to cry as I heard him say my name not even a second after telling her he loved her.

"…means a lot to me too."

And that drove a knife in my heart.

"Jake, you promised back in July that you were going to break up with her but you didn't do it. You left me to go to that stupid party with her and then called me bitching all night about her and Edward. If he wants her so bad, why can't you just let him have her?"

"I don't know. I just can't stand the guy. I can't let him take Bella…"

"Away from you! What…are you afraid that he'll take her from you? That she would rather be with him than you?"

"That's not it. He's just…"

"Come on, Jake, be honest. You care about her…I get it. You've been friends forever, but do you love her? Can you look at her and say 'I love you, Bella, and I want to be with you forever?' No, you can't. And why is that?"

"Because I love you. I can't see myself with anyone but you, Leah."

"Exactly, then why should it matter if she's with Edward? He can't take her from you if you don't truly want her."

Sometimes the truth slaps you in the face when you don't expect it, and it hurts like hell. I was sitting on the stairs now with my arms wrapped around my legs listening to them talk about me like I meant nothing. I didn't want to hear anymore but I couldn't find it in me to leave. I had to know everything no matter how much it hurt.

Jake's words cut through me as he told Leah over and over again that he loved her. They weren't forced. She didn't have to beg to hear it. He said the words because he meant them. I had wished for so long to hear those words from him and it's ironic that I had just been thinking about it before I walked in here.

They ended their conversation with another promise from Jake to finally break up with me so they could be together. He said he would find a way to let me down easy because he couldn't stand to see me hurt. I couldn't listen anymore and when I heard the kissing start, I ran.

Broken hearted and out of breath, I leaned against my locker simply staring at the floor. It hurt to hear him dismiss our relationship so easily and now my head was swimming with questions. How could he do this? Why wouldn't he just tell me? But the biggest question of them all, why did he fight with me over the summer to save our relationship when he wanted out? He had his chance to go but he didn't take it.

"Why didn't he take it?" I whispered to myself.

"What did you say?" Alice's hand on my shoulder made me jump.

"What?" I just stared at her, but when I saw the look on her face, I knew I wasn't shielding my emotions very well.

"I asked what you said," she answered. "You whispered something but I didn't catch it."

"Oh," I shook my head, "it was nothing. Just going over some of my answers on my last test."

No matter how much it hurt, there was no way I was going to tell her about this. She warned me so many times and I wasn't going to listen to her tell me 'I told you so.' I pushed my emotions down the best I could before they got the better of me because I refused to let anyone see me cry.

Alice shrugged. "Okay, let's go eat."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

As she did on most days, Alice carried the conversation. I wasn't really paying attention, answering with mumbled responses when they seemed necessary. It wasn't until she stopped speaking that I picked my head up from the plate of mangled pizza in front of me.

"He's staring at you again," she said, giggling.

"Who?" I tried to play dumb, knowing she wasn't going to buy it.

"Please Bella, don't act stupid with me. You know exactly who I'm talking about," she huffed.

Turning my head slightly, I met Edward's eyes. I wasn't in the mood to deal with him now.

"Why can't he just leave me alone?" I rolled my eyes and went back to my pizza.

"You know you don't really mean that," Alice said. "I know you like him, Bella."

"Please, what is there to like, Alice?" I grumbled. "He's an arrogant son of a bitch who thinks he can get whatever, whenever and from whoever he wants. I don't have the time or patience to deal with _anyone_ like that, let alone Edward Cullen."

I hoped she heard the loathing in my voice when I said his name. Anyone who could treat girls the way he did, didn't deserve my time or attention.

"Stop it, Bella. Edward is nothing like that."

"Don't defend him to me, Alice. I don't need…"

The text message alert on my phone interrupted me. I grabbed my phone and flipped it open.

**Save me a seat doll. Love you – J**

The pain hit me in full force again as my eyes landed on Jacob. He smiled and waved, I felt like I was going to be sick. I couldn't deal with this right now. I'd had enough for the day and needed an escape before I really lost my temper and took it out on some poor unsuspecting person.

"Forget it, Alice," I said with enough force for her to know that it was time to drop the subject. "Come on let's go. Let's just take a walk before our next class. I don't want to stay here anymore."

I was on my feet before she could say another word. I wasn't going to continue talking about this, especially with Jacob's presence threatening to break me. No matter what Alice or anyone else said, Edward was an impossibility because I refused to be one of those easy girls that he could use anyway he wanted to. I valued myself more than that.

I walked toward the door of the cafeteria with Alice on my heels. I had to get out of this room. Unfortunately, the door I walked toward was closest to the line of people waiting to pay for their food, which meant it was close to where Edward was standing.

_Just keep walking. Just keep walking. Don't even look at him._

Just as I got done telling myself to stay away from him, I heard him speak and my insides melted.

"Bella," he called my name.

Just hearing his voice made me remember why I avoided him. I might hate everything he does and the way he treats the girls around here, but I couldn't deny the way he still made me feel inside and I hated myself for it. He shouldn't have been able to get to me the way he did. It took a second to think clearly.

No! Don't answer him. He can't know the way hearing him say your name makes you feel. Be strong, Bella, and just stay away.

Against my will, my feet stopped and I turned to face him. My eyes, however, caught sight of Jacob just over Edward's shoulder and the anger boiled up again. I needed to leave, so I turned back around, making my way outside. I was a few steps from the door that would let me out of this room when I heard the comments and laughter from Emmett and Jasper coming from behind me.

"Ouch, that had to hurt." I recognized Jasper's voice using a tone of mock hurt.

"Edward Cullen goes down in flames." Emmett sounded completely surprised.

I had my hand on the door when I heard Edward's dejected voice.

"God, she really does hate me."

Wow that hurt. I walked through the door with Alice right behind me. I had to keep it together long enough to get around the corner of the building because he could still see me…if he was looking.

"Bella, what are you doing?" Alice asked, sounding extremely surprised.

"Just keep walking," was all I could say at the moment.

"Didn't you just see that?" she asked, sounding angry.

I made it around the corner and stopped. I leaned my back against the wall with my hand over my chest trying to calm my breathing. Did I really hear what I thought I did in his voice?

"Bella, why did you do that?" Yes, she was angry with me. Alice didn't get angry with me very often…well she didn't until Edward came into the picture.

"I told you I had to get out of there." I tried to play it off like it was no big deal. "I just wanted to walk and…" I tried to repeat what I said a couple of minutes ago but she cut me off.

"What is your problem? Didn't you just see the look on his face? He was…" she tried to think of the right word. "He looked seriously upset by what you just did."

"I doubt it," I said with not much conviction. I only heard the way he sounded but she saw his face. It was obvious that his tone and expression matched.

"Are you kidding me? He looked like you just stabbed him or something." She looked like she wanted to slap me. She settled for grabbing my shoulders to make sure I looked at her. "When are you going to get it through your head…the guy likes you, Bella? Give him a chance!"

"He doesn't even know me!" I could definitely say that statement with certainty.

"And whose fault is that? If you keep blowing him off the way you just did, He. Never. Will."

"Why are you so upset about this anyway?" I had to ask because there should be no reason that she's this concerned about how I treat one guy and I'd already made it clear that I had no interest in Edward.

"Well…" she hesitated a little. "I just don't think this is like you at all to treat someone so rude." She started playing with the back of her hair. That was a sure sign that she was hiding something. Alice always played with her hair when she was lying about something.

"Uh-uh. No way! Spill it, Brandon!" I said with a little more force to my voice.

"What?" She was trying to play innocent now and I wasn't buying it.

"I've known you since you were five years old, Alice Brandon. I know when you're lying. You tell me now why you care so much." She wasn't going to get out of this one.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Her voice raised an octave higher as the second lie came out of her mouth. She might be able to get away with the innocent act with someone else, but I'd known her for too long for her to try it on me.

"Alice! You haven't mentioned a single word about Edward since your party, but you've been pushing me since that damn soccer game last month. What is really going on here?" I was glaring at her now with my arms crossed, waiting for my answer.

"Fine. I'll tell you, but you can't tell Jasper that I said anything. He'll be mad at me if he finds out." She looked hurt that I was making her go back on her word to Jasper. Well too damn bad. I needed to know the truth.

"Jasper asked me to try and get you to meet Edward somewhere. He really cares about you, Bella, and he's wanted to get with you since he moved here." Alice exhaled when she finished.

I stared at her in shock. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Everyone knows that Edward has been trying to talk to you for a while now, but you keep ignoring him." She dropped her head as she said the next part like she was ashamed. "All I was supposed to do was get you to at least talk to him. Jasper said that if I got you to agree then Edward would handle the rest."

"What!" I yelled and Alice flinched, taking a small step back. "Edward would handle the rest."

The fury I felt about Edward wanting to 'handle' me pissed me off more than ever. "He thinks he can 'handle' me? Like I'm another toy for him to play with? And you actually agreed to go along with this?" Frustrated, I started to pace back and forth. I was livid. I couldn't believe she would do this to me.

"No! That's not what I meant. I'm sorry. That didn't come out the way it should have." She was talking fast as she tried to explain. "He just meant that, if you agreed to talk to him, Edward would make sure that you two can meet somewhere so you could talk alone."

"Why would I bother? There's nothing he could say that I want to hear."

Alice started to speak again but I didn't hear another word she said. I was lost in the internal argument going on in my head between the part of me that wanted to stay guarded and the part that wanted to let loose.

_Don't do it Bella! He just uses girls. You don't need to get sucked up in his drama._

_**Seriously? The most amazing looking boy wants to be with you and you're fighting this? What's wrong with you?**_

_Be smart Bella. He only wants one thing from you and you know he's not going to get it so don't bother._

_**So what! You could go out with him for as long as it takes for him to ask you for it and then it would be over. At least you could try to be happy until that happened.**_

_How could you even think of being happy when you would know what's coming?_

_**Just try it. You never know what could happen.**_

_You could get your heart ripped out, that's what could happen. Are you going to let him play with you the way Jacob did?_

That was it. Debate over! I wasn't going to let any guy do that to me again. That pain from Jacob's words was still very present in my mind and heart.

"Bella? Hey Bella. Are you even listening to me?" Alice's voice broke through my thoughts as she held me still by my shoulders. I didn't even realize I had stopped pacing.

"No Alice. I won't do it. I'm not going to let myself get hurt like that again." I felt myself deflate with the ache in my heart over Jacob. "I'm not going to open myself up to someone who I know from the start is going to hurt me."

"Oh no, I know that look. You're thinking about Jacob, aren't you?" She knew me so well. Her tone softened. "That text earlier was from him, wasn't it?"

Damn. I didn't realize she noticed.

"I can see it, Bella. He did it again, didn't he? You can't keep doing this to yourself, honey. Jacob may be a great guy to have as a friend, but he doesn't know what it means to be a boyfriend." She touched my cheek. "He's played your emotions to the extreme, but you can't expect every guy to hurt you based on things he's done." She grabbed my hand. "Honey, listen. He's not perfect, but Edward is not like Jacob. You could give him a chance and find out for yourself. Rosalie told me…"

I stopped her short. "Wait…is Rosalie a part of this too?" I saw Alice's face as she realized that she let this bit of information slip. "I can't believe this. I'm being betrayed by both of my best friends?"

"Bella…"

Too late. The floodgates opened. "No! You might as well have said it out loud. I noticed when you started pushing for this, but not Rosalie. Obviously she can be a little more secretive."

I saw in her eyes how that remark hurt her, but I was too mad and more than a little hurt to care at this point.

"How long have you and Rosalie been plotting this little rendezvous with Edward? You know what…I don't care. You may be my best friends, but you went too far this time."

"Bella we just…"

"I don't care. First Jacob…now Edward. This is done. I'm not going to talk about it or even consider it anymore. I can't believe you, of all people, did this. You know what I went through with him but, now that you have Rosalie, I guess my feelings don't count anymore. You can have her then."

With my last statement hanging in the air, I stormed off. I couldn't be near Alice right now and I had to get away. Only I wasn't fast enough.

Just as I ran around the corner of the building, I smacked into something hard. With the tears welling up in my eyes I didn't have time to focus on what, or I should say who, I hit. The force should have sent us both to the ground, but two strong arms were holding me up.

I heard Emmett's voice. "Whoa, calm down, Bella. Where's the fire?"

With that, I was aware of my surroundings and noticed that I ran directly into Edward and he had me wrapped in his arms to keep me from falling. I looked into his face just in time to see the surprised look turn into a small smile. He looked like he wanted to speak, but I wasn't hanging around for that.

I couldn't take any more of this. I pushed against him trying to get free and he let me go. The frustration and anger took hold of me and I half punched and half shoved hard against his chest. He must not have been expecting it because he lost his balance and staggered back a couple of steps. His face was stunned and then sad as his forehead crinkled.

I gave him the most evil glare I could come up with at the moment before I yelled at him.

"Why can't you just leave me alone? I have nothing to say to you. Go find some other girl to sleep with because it's not going to be me!" I ran back to the school leaving them all standing in shock behind me.

I could hear Alice crying. "Bella, wait!"

"No, Alice. Give her some time. Let her go for now." I heard Jasper say to her before the door closed behind me.

* * *

**And there you have it. Jake, without knowing, finally got caught and it's not even something he can try to deny later because Bella heard it all for herself. I know some of you wanted her to run right to Edward's arms but it's not happening quite yet. It's going to take her some time to trust anyone, let alone Edward. But I have a feeling that all those notes he's been sending her are going to help her with that.**

**Thanks for sticking with me and remember, leave me a little something to tell me what you think. Until next time, my loves …much love to you - D**


	28. Learning The Truth

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.**

**Thanks as always to my beta AgoodWITCH for all of the input, great comments and overall support on my stories. I love you so much.**

**A/N: I really am sorry for the sporadic updates for this one. I'm doing my best to fix that and get the updates to you faster. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed that I can stay ahead of the game now. Enough of that and let's get you back to the story.**

* * *

_Chapter 27 Recap: Poor Edward is still pining away for our dear Bella, but who could blame him with all the mixed signals he's getting. He did get a spark of hope before their championship game, though, only to be let down after when he was attacked by 'the skank twins', sending Bella running straight to Jake. _

_Also, Edward is still putting notes in Bella's locker for her so she knows he cares about her. Too bad he won't sign his name to any of them. What he doesn't know, though, is that she's getting and reading every letter and she's kinda falling for the guy who's writing them. She's so excited to get the next one before they're released for their Thanksgiving break and in her haste, she runs to her locker before class ends and overhears a very damning conversation between Jake and Leah. Afterward, Bella goes to lunch with Alice but sees Jake walk in and has to leave. Edward misreads the situation and thinks the hateful looks that Bella's giving to Jake are meant for him and he thinks she hates him._

_While Bella is trying to keep her cool outside, she finds out that Alice has been working with Rose to get her and Edward together to talk. Bella, thinking she knows the kind of 'talking' Edward wants to do, is furious and fights with Alice before trying to run away. But she runs directly into Edward as she's trying to make her escape, yells at him to 'leave her alone' and takes off, leaving them all behind._

_Now…on with the story._

**Chapter 28 – Learning The Truth**

**BPOV**

I had to catch a city bus to get home; I just couldn't stay at school anymore. Jacob, Leah, Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, Edward…it was all too much and I wanted to be home so I could cry in peace. As I walked the four blocks from the bus stop, I called my dad and my coach to let them know I wasn't feeling well and went home early from school.

As soon as the door closed behind me, I was running up the stairs and throwing myself on my bed. My tears quickly soaked my pillow as I wondered how they could all do this to me.

First Edward, thinking he could 'handle' me like I'm one of his other sluts and my so-called friends thinking it was okay. Not only thinking it was okay, but encouraging him and even helping him to plan his next move. I obviously meant nothing to them.

"Some fucking friends I have," I mumbled.

And then Jacob, ripping out my heart and stomping on it without even knowing he did it. I should have known it was coming. There were too many looks sent Leah's way for it to be anything innocent. You would think I would know the signs by now, but the last I heard, Leah had a boyfriend. I guess that didn't matter much since Jacob had a girlfriend and it didn't seem to bother him.

I wished I could go to see my mom, but I couldn't. When he notices I left school that would be the first place Jacob would go to look for me. Of course, this would be the second place but at least it gave me some time.

How could I even face him now? How could I even be near him when I know what he really wants? How could I even look him in the eye when he finally tells me it's over?

He had promised her he would break up with me over the summer. He fought with me over Edward after the party. He said he was done with me and walked away, just like he told her he would. He had the perfect opportunity to let me go. So why did he try so hard after that night to keep us together?

My phone vibrated in my pocket, telling me I had a new text. I didn't even have to look. It didn't take him long at all to figure out I was missing. I pulled at my blanket, using it to wipe the tears away so I could see my screen.

The phone sounded again…two messages. Flipping open the screen, I read an unexpected text from Rosalie. She was home sick today, why would she even be texting at all?

**Bella, u ok … Rose**

**Leave me alone … B**

**Alice called. What's up … Rose**

**Like u don't know. Now LEAVE ME ALONE ... B**

I waited a little but she never answered back, so I checked my unread messages and, sure enough, the other was from Jacob.

**Hey doll, where are you? Are you okay? ... J**

My hands were shaking. I hugged my pillow to my chest, crying again.

I couldn't answer him. I wouldn't know what to say even if I could. How do you tell your boyfriend, who meant the world to you, that you know he's leaving you? How do you listen to a word he says when all you hear him say is that he loves someone else? How do you let him come anywhere near you when you know that all he wants to say is goodbye?

Another text shook the phone in my hand. I didn't bother wiping my eyes this time.

**Why did Alice just try to take my head off? … J**

I didn't know exactly how much time passed between the first and second message, but there was almost no time at all between the second and third.

**Honey, please tell me what happened? … J**

_As if you don't know. _

Anger overwhelmed me, bringing my fingers back to life and I typed the first thing that came to mind.

**Fuck off Jacob! … B**

I hit send and threw my phone against the wall before breaking down in tears again.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

"Bella."

I groaned when I heard my name.

"Honey."

A kiss to the back of my neck woke me up and I turned my head to see Jacob lying behind me.

"There's my beautiful girl."

His face lit up with that bright smile that I used to love. Used to…because now it just made me want to punch him in his lying mouth.

"What the hell are you doing here, Jake?" I tried to move away from him, but the arm he had over my stomach tightened, holding me to him.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay, doll." He kissed my cheek. "You left school, Alice attacked me and then that last message…what's going on, Bella?"

He had the nerve to act upset – hurt even. I rolled over without saying a word to stare out the window.

"Honey, talk to me please." He kissed the back of my neck as his fingers caressed my stomach. "You're hurting, Bella. I can see it," he said in a soft voice. "Please tell me Cullen didn't do anything to…"

_Why the hell does he bring everything back to Edward?_

I stopped his sentence right there.

"Jake," my voice had no emotion, "do you love me?"

"What does that have to do with you leaving?"

"Everything," I whispered.

"Tell me what happened," he asked again. "You know I hate to see you so upset."

_You fucking liar._

"What can I do, Bella?"

My anger got the better of me. "Answer me!" I yelled as I threw my elbow into his stomach.

His grip loosened and I jumped out of bed. He looked stunned and hurt, rubbing where my elbow hit him.

"What was that for?"

"I said, answer me!" I yelled again, glaring at him with my fist clenched at my sides.

"What do you...?"

"Do you love me?" I said, emphasizing each word.

He stayed quiet for a second, his face showing confusion and shock.

"Jake!" My scream seemed to bring him back to the moment.

"You know how I feel about you, doll."

His answer fueled my anger. I couldn't stand to see him in my bed anymore.

"Get the fuck off my bed." I pushed him just as he was sitting up and he fell to the floor.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he hollered at me.

"You are! You lying son of a bitch!" I jumped across the bed and kicked him where he fell. "Alice was right."

"What the fuck!" He crawled away from me. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Don't treat me like I'm fucking stupid!"

"You're not stupid, Bella." He got to his feet. "Just tell me what's going on."

"How could I not be, if I didn't see what's been in front of my face this whole time?"

"You're not, Bella." He reached for me. "What are you talking about?"

"Come on, Jake, tell me you love me," I yelled again.

"Bella, stop it! I don't know…"

"Say it!"

Jake stood there, unable to come up with anything to say.

"You can't fucking tell me, can you?" I was crying again, but this time out of anger. "No you can't tell _me_, but you sure as hell can tell Leah, can't you."

His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. The look of shock pissed me off and I picked up the brush from my vanity and threw it at him.

"Yes, Jake, I know. I heard every fucking word."

"Bella…"

"How long, Jake?" I asked, needing to know. "How long have you been making a fool out of me? I know it's at least been since this summer. You know, when you were supposed to break up with me."

"Look Bella, I don't know what you heard…"

"Don't fucking lie to me!" I screamed.

My hand grabbed the closest thing I could find and threw it at him again. A glass shattered on the wall behind him when he ducked and moved toward the door.

"Just admit it, Jake. Tell me how long you and Leah have been sneaking around behind my back!"

I walked toward him as I spoke. He backed out the door.

"Bella, you don't…"

"Tell me how long I've been defending you while you were cheating on me!"

I followed him as he made his way downstairs.

"I never…"

"Stop lying! You can't talk your way out of this one." He stopped in the middle of the living room and I was in his face. "I heard you call her "baby." I heard you lie and tell her how much I mean to you. I heard you tell her you loved her nine times, Jake." My voice cracked. The anger was leaving me, letting the pain take over. "And I heard you promise to break up with me."

Finally, his face fell as he realized I knew everything.

"God, Bella, I'm so sorry."

He moved faster than I expected him to and I was in his arms. His grip was tight as I tried to fight against him.

"I didn't want to hurt you." He kissed the top of my head. "You have to believe me. I never wanted this."

More tears spilled as my arms turned traitor, hugging him back. I was broken and he was the support to keep me standing.

"Why Jake?"

"I don't have an excuse, Bella. She's just…"

"Shut up. I don't want to hear what she is to you." I tried to push him away but he held on tighter, dropping his head to my shoulder.

"Tell me how long?"

"Bella, please I can't." I felt a tear hit my shoulder.

"I need to know, Jake," I said quietly.

"Don't make me. I don't want to hurt you and I know that will."

"You can't hurt me any worse than you already have," I admitted.

"Please don't say that. You mean the world to me, Bella, and I can't."

"What was it, Jake, four months…five?"

He shook his head.

_Jesus, longer than five months._

"Don't make me keep asking. Every month I add will hurt worse."

"Nine," he whispered.

"Nine months!"

I couldn't stop myself as I sunk my fingernails into his sides and pushed. He jumped back, breaking my grip.

"Nine fucking months, Jake. Are you kidding me?" I was yelling again.

"I'm sorry." He held his hands up between us. "Leah came to see me on Valentine's Day. She was upset because her boyfriend broke up with her."

_Wait…what? Valentine's Day?_

"You asshole! You were here on Valentine's day." I stepped closer and slapped him. "You came here after you were with her!" I shrieked.

"No! I... She showed up after I got home," he explained.

"And that makes it better?"

"No but that's the night it started."

The pressure in my chest was almost too much but I had to know it all.

"And what about the summer? You told her you were going to break up with me!" I glared at him, wanting so badly to hit him again.

"No! I never said that. She wanted me to, but I didn't want that."

Jake reached for my hand but I pulled away before he could grab it.

"You didn't want it!" I couldn't believe him. "You would rather lie to me while you kept sneaking around with her."

"No! Fuck! I care about you, Bella. I know how much I hurt you before and I couldn't do that again."

"But you did!" I pushed his chest, knocking him into the wall. "Did you think I would never find out?"

"No. I felt so bad for keeping it from you." He really looked like he meant it. "I didn't want it to happen again, Bella. You have to believe me."

He took my hand and held it to his chest.

"Do you remember that day I came here and we just laid together on the couch?" I nodded. "It was such a good night and I thought that we could really do this. I wanted to try, Bella. I really did."

He pulled me closer and touched his other hand to my cheek. Without thinking, I leaned into his hand.

"I was ready to tell Leah that it was over, that I wanted to be with you." His thumb brushed my cheek lightly. "We fought about it and I did tell her, but then the night of the party she showed up at my house. I told her again that I wasn't going to leave you and I left her there to come see you. That's when I found you with him and I lost it."

"But that night," I paused. "That night after we got into our fight and I caught you down the street, we agreed that we would…"

He cut me off this time.

"I know we did but I was still so pissed about it when I got home. Leah was still there and we talked too. She called me every day after that and we just fell back into it again."

He dropped his hands to rub the tears sliding down his cheek. His admission and the sight of him crying had me seeing red. My arms started swinging and I hit every part of him I could get my hands on.

"You stupid, lying, cheating son of bitch!" I screamed. "You just fell into it! Are you fucking kidding me? I loved you and I felt so guilty after that party."

Jake grabbed my wrists, holding my hands so I couldn't hit him anymore. I fought to get my hands loose but it was no use.

"I did everything I could to make up for what I did with Edward. And I fought with everything I had to try to keep us together but you didn't care. You stayed with her!" I ripped my hands away. "I tried so hard and you still stayed with her!"

"I know and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Get out of my house!" I yelled.

"No, Bella, please. I can't leave you like this."

"I said get the fuck out!" I pushed him again when he didn't move. "I hate you! I never want to speak to you again. Ever!"

"Don't say that, please," he begged. "I can't lose you, Bella."

"You don't have me. You never wanted me." I cried. The lump in my throat was growing as the pain of everything he ever did crashed down on me. "I'm nothing to you. You're never going to hurt me again, Jacob."

"Bella…"

"Get out!" I pushed and pushed him until he was at the front door. "Get out of my house and don't ever come back!" I screamed.

He opened the door and backed out onto the porch. "I love you, Bella. I'm sorry," he said quietly as he pulled the door closed.

The words I had waited so long to hear drove the final nail through my heart. I screamed louder than I ever had before and collapsed in middle of the floor.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

"Fucking bullshit!"

My dad yelling woke me up but the front door slamming against the frame scared me, causing me to fall off the couch. It was late and the house was dark so he must not have noticed me laying here because he stomped into the kitchen, ripped open the refrigerator and pulled out a beer.

Getting to my feet, I walked to the kitchen. "Dad," I said quietly.

He spun quickly, his hand automatically reaching for his gun.

"Damn it, Bella!" he yelled. "What the hell are you doing sneaking up on me like that?"

The emotions that had been coursing through me since Jacob walked out floated to the surface and I started crying again.

"I'm sorry," I said and ran up to my room.

The second I hit the bed, my face was buried in my pillow. I was so lost in my suffering that I jumped when my dad rested his hand on my back. I never even heard him come into my room.

"Bells…sweetheart, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you."

I pulled the pillow away from my face. "It's not you, Dad," I choked out the words.

"What hap…?" He groaned. He knew. "It's Jake, isn't it?"

The floodgates opened again and I could only nod my head.

"Shh, it'll be okay, Bells." He rubbed circles on my back.

"Why can't he love me, Dad? Why am I not good enough for him?"

"Come here, baby girl," he said as he pulled me to his chest.

I had wanted my mom all night, but to have my dad do the one thing that she would have done for me broke me down and I cried against his chest.

My dad stroked my hair, telling me over and over again that things would be okay.

"Bella, look at me," he spoke softly. I picked my head up. "Jake is a fool. If he can't see the beautiful person you are, then you don't need him. He's done nothing but hurt you and you deserve so much better than that." He took a deep breath. "I know you love him, sweetheart, but it's time to let him go."

"How?" I asked.

"Oh baby, I wish I could that answer for you." He sighed. "I've found it hard enough trying to let go of your mom but I have it easy because I know I'm never going to see her again. In your case, Jake is always going to be there. You're going to see him at school every day, you're going to see him with someone else and it's going to hurt for a long time, Bella."

The thought of actually seeing Jake and Leah together again started my tears all over again. I dropped my head, unable to face my dad while I cried, but he wasn't going to let me hide. He put his finger under my chin to raise my face to his before he continued.

"But you know what? You are a brilliant, strong, kind, loving and beautiful girl. Use all of that to help you put Jake behind you because you deserve so much more than he could ever give you. Once you finally let him go, I promise you, you will find someone who will love you with his whole heart. Someone who will see no one else but you. Someone who will be everything you will ever want and need in this world." He kissed my forehead as he pulled me in for another hug.

My mind immediately went to the letters hiding in my bottom drawer. He didn't know me and I didn't know him but somehow, just by reading his beautiful words, I knew he already cared about me. I had to find him.

"He's out there, Bella. You just have to keep your eyes open to find him."

His words were so perfect that I smiled a little. My dad might not have been much of a talker or someone to show his emotional side very often, but when he did, he reminded me so much of my mom. He'd tried so hard to fill her shoes after she died, never believing he could do it, but right now I couldn't ask for more than him.

I hugged him as tight as I could. "Thank you, Dad. I love you so much."

His grip on me tightened a bit too. "I love you too, Bells."

He let me go and got up to leave the room. He was almost out the door when I called him back.

"Dad." He paused and turned back to me. "I don't think mom could have said it any better than you did."

Even in the dark, I could see his sheepish grin. "Thanks, Bells. Now get some sleep, tomorrow is going to be tough," he said as he closed the door.

I agreed. My first day without Jacob was going to be a bad one. _At least I don't have to see him at school tomorrow._ The thought helped me feel a little better as I changed and settled under the covers to go to sleep.

My eyes shot open as a sudden wave of panic hit me. Tomorrow was Thanksgiving and Billy and Jacob were supposed to be here.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Dinner was going to be tense. Alice and her parents showed up as usual, but after our fight, I would have been more than happy if she would have stayed home. I had nothing to say to her and I didn't want her in my house but like always, Alice blew off our fight and acted like nothing ever happened.

She was in the kitchen with me, talking a mile a minute, while I was finishing off dinner. I tried not paying attention to anything she said but it was Alice, so there really was no ignoring her. She lightened my mood a little, but I was still nervous about Jacob walking through my door after what happened last night.

I hadn't told Alice that Jacob and I broke up because, honestly, it wasn't her business to know. Besides, if she knew, I was sure she would start talking about Edward again, pulling out all the stops to get me to talk to him and that wasn't happening. So, my relationship status was going to be my secret for as long as I could keep it.

I was busy chopping vegetables when the doorbell rang and narrowly missed my finger when I heard Jacob say hello to my dad. I had begged him to call them and cancel but he said it wasn't right to call and cancel hours before they were supposed to be here.

"Bella, are you okay?" Alice asked when she saw me jerk my hand away.

"I'm fine," I said in a strained voice.

I went back to chopping but froze the second I heard his footsteps on the kitchen floor. He stopped right behind me and I was having trouble taking a breath. Every other time he left me, he stayed away and I was able to deal with the pain he caused. Why couldn't he do that this time?

"Alice," he said quietly, "can you give us a minute alone, please?"

"Um…yeah…sure," she said as she stood up.

It took everything in me not to beg her to stay, but since I was determined to keep this from her as long as I could, I kept my mouth shut.

"Bella," he whispered, laying a hand on my shoulder.

"Get out, Jake." My voice was barely audible.

"No, Bella, please just listen to me."

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say." My words came with a little more force as I pushed his hand off my shoulder.

"Honey, please," he whispered into my ear as his hands wrapped around my waist.

He wasn't being fair. He knew how much I loved for him to hold me like this and was using it to his advantage. I relaxed against him.

"Jake." It was just a whisper.

His grip tightened as he kissed my cheek.

"Last night was so hard without you," he whispered. "I can't lose you, Bella. I want to be with you. I didn't realize how much until you kicked me out last night." He rested his head on my shoulder. "It killed me to walk away from you, but I knew you needed time. I tried to give you that but it was too hard. I tried to call you so many times, but you wouldn't answer. Please tell me this isn't over. Please tell me that I didn't screw up so bad that you can't forgive me."

He turned me around to face him. He had tears in his eyes and he looked like he hadn't slept at all last night. My heart broke all over again. I did this to him. He was like this because of me. I touched his cheek and he leaned into my hand as his eyes slowly closed.

"Please forgive me, Bella. I want _you…_no one else but you. I even called Leah last night…"

I didn't hear the rest of his sentence as my body stiffened and my hand clenched around the knife I was still holding. Just the mention of her name brought me crashing back to reality. I remembered what got us here and I wasn't going to fall for it again. Some people say once is enough or three times is a charm but I was stupid enough to let Jake come back for the fifth time and I wasn't going to let him go for six.

My knee slammed into him and he dropped to one knee, gasping for breath and screaming with what little air he had. The knife flew out of my hand and I heard a glass shatter on the floor as I punched and kicked any available part of his body.

"You lying, piece of shit!" I yelled. "How dare you come in here…?"

I didn't get to finish my sentence as my dad picked me up and carried me out of the room. I fought against him to get back at Jacob. I'd had enough of his bullshit and I would be damned if I let him get away with it again.

When he finally came limping out of the kitchen, I lunged at him again but my dad caught me before I got too close. I knew I was causing a scene in front of everyone but I didn't care. I was done with Jacob Black.

"You didn't realize how much you wanted me," I said mockingly. "You're so full of shit!"

"Bella," my dad said my name as a warning to stop.

"You want me so much but you can't keep your ass away from Leah for even one night. Just fucking face it, Jake…"

"Bella, that's enough," my dad growled.

"…I never meant anything to you. All you wanted was to get me into bed." Tears were falling, but they were from the anger running through me. "Well you know what, Jake, you can take your cheating ass back to Leah because I don't want you anywhere near me."

The grip on my arms loosened and I ripped my arms away from my dad's grasp. Before he could stop me, I slapped Jake as hard as I could.

"Get the hell out of my house!" I screamed before running upstairs.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

**EPOV**

Thanksgiving morning was busy. My mom ordered my dad, Emmett and I to pull the boxes full of Christmas decorations out of the garage. She already had mounds of bags in the spare room with new decorations so there was no need for more. I believed she was just trying to keep Emmett out of the house and out of her kitchen.

"Are we done yet?" Emmett whined. "I'm starving."

"There's only a few more, Son." My dad laughed.

Emmett groaned.

"You act like you're gonna die or something." I rolled my eyes and looked at my watch. "The food's not even ready yet."

"I'll just get something else." He shrugged.

"Go for it. I dare you," I urged.

Emmett's eyes sparkled a bit. He was never one to pass up a dare.

"Come on, Em. Do it," I taunted him. "I double dare you."

He took off toward the house and was just about to walk through the door when my dad stopped him.

"Emmett, you do want to eat today, don't you?" Dad asked without even looking at him.

Emmett froze in place. "Damn it."

I couldn't hold back my laughter when I saw the look on his face. He looked like a pouting five year old.

"Damn that sucks. You still have to wait one more hour," I said, shaking my head. "Unless…"

"Edward, don't start," my dad warned. "You both know better than to mess with your mom on Thanksgiving."

Teasing Emmett was always one of the highlights of Thanksgiving and my dad took my fun away. I glanced at Emmett and mouthed to him 'dare you.' He looked at dad a second before flipping me off.

'One o'clock sharp' was all my mom said to us as we moved the last few boxes into the house before the three of us went to shower and change. Dinner was going to be ready soon and if we weren't all ready to sit down and eat on time my mom would have a fit.

Thanksgiving dinner was always a family thing but this year Jasper and his parents were invited to come and eat with us. Because we were such close friends now, our parents had plenty of time to get to know each other over the past ten months and they were considered an extension of our family.

So, when the doorbell rang, I hurried to let them in since it was freezing outside. Mr. and Mrs. Whitlock greeted me at the door before walking further into the house to find my parents. Jasper and I went straight to Emmett's room to wait the half hour until dinner was ready.

We watched some football just to pass the time. But when my mom called us to the table, it was like a wrestling match between Jasper and Emmett to see who could get to the table first. I stayed a few feet back, watching them act like kids. It wasn't like there wouldn't be any food left when they got there.

Keeping to tradition, we all spoke in turn, telling everyone what we were thankful for. As always I gave a generic answer because this time, friends and family were all I _could_ be thankful for. I was still more than a little depressed about what happened with Bella at school yesterday. I just wasn't going to let any of them know that.

Dinner went on like normal as conversations flowed easily around the table. But about thirty minutes after we started, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I let it go since our rule was no phone calls or texts during dinner. When the next one came in a few seconds later, I wondered who it could be.

For the next ten minutes, the constant vibration was driving me crazy. Someone obviously wanted to talk to me and I was dying to know what was going on. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and I excused myself so I could find out what the emergency was.

Running up to my room so I wouldn't be disturbed, I pulled my phone out of my pocket to find seventeen text messages. I flipped to the list and every one of them was from Alice. I knew Alice and her parents were at Bella's house today so I couldn't figure out what was so important – interrupting their own dinner – to text me that many times.

I pushed the button to open the first message.

**E u have 2 call me…Ali**

Second message

**911 call me now…Ali**

Third message

**Come on E. I need 2 talk 2 u…Ali**

As I scrolled through the list, each message seemed to get more frantic, begging me to call her. I started to think something happened to her or to Bella. I was about to give up and just call her when I got to the fifteenth message.

**She knows about Jake…Ali**

"What? How?" I whispered as I opened the next message.

**OMG SHE JUST HIT HIM…Ali**

I couldn't believe it. Bella finally knew that Jake was cheating on her. But how did she find out?

Opening the final message brought a huge smile to my face. As I sat there staring at the screen, my door burst open and I almost dropped the phone. Emmett and Jasper walked in, stopping just inside the door.

"Mom sent us to find you." He saw the look on my face. "What's up, Ed?"

They were such simple words but I couldn't get them to come out. He could read the last message for himself, so I threw my phone to him. Jasper caught it and they both looked at the screen.

Emmett's grin was as wide as mine. "Bella and Jake broke up," he said sounding shocked. Then he stepped up to give me a high five. "Hell yeah! It's about time that fucker got what was coming to him."

I wanted to jump off the bed and scream. With Jake out of the way, there wasn't anything keeping me from Bella now. I started thinking of how I wanted to approach her and all the things I would say to her when I did. I was finally so close to getting everything I could ask for.

The weight I'd been carrying around with me for so long was finally lifting from my shoulders. Those five little words made me happier than I had been in a long time and there was nothing that could ruin my mood now. That was until I saw Jasper's face.

"I don't know, Edward," he said, shaking his head. "I wouldn't get your hopes up just yet."

"What the hell are you talking about, pretty boy?" Emmett asked, punching him lightly in the shoulder. "You read Alice's text. It's over. There's nothing to…"

"Emmett, you don't understand." He shifted his focus back to me. "I don't think either of you do." He shifted nervously in his spot. "I know a lot about Bella and Jake's relationship and Bella…" he hesitated, "doesn't let go easily. Not to him."

"What are you talking about, Jasper?" I asked, not liking what his little hesitation might mean.

"I'm not going to tell you her story because it's not my place. But this isn't the first time she's found out about Jake and Leah."

He looked nervous to be telling me this, but I already knew he had hurt her before from the things Alice had let slip.

"I already know that. He's already hurt her before and now that he's done it again, she'll be done with him."

His eyes closed tight and his hand moved to rub the back of his neck. That was a bad sign.

"You know, this isn't the first time. It's not even the second or the third." He leaned back against the wall, looking uncomfortable. "Look, all I'm saying is until you hear it from her mouth or see it with your own eyes, don't believe it. There's just something about Jake that Bella can't let go of."

My heart sank and I felt like Jasper just threw that weight back on my shoulders before adding an extra few hundred pounds. I was back to square one. When it came to Bella, it seemed I could never win.

"Boys," my dad said as he knocked on the door. "Is everything okay in here?"

"Everything's fine," I said, forcing a smile.

His forehead creased as his eyes settled on my face. He didn't believe me.

"Okay then, get back downstairs." He turned to leave but then spun around to face us again. "Oh and boys, remember, this is a family day. Why don't you leave the cell phones here?"

"Yes, Dad."

"Sure, Mr. Cullen."

The three of us answered together, each of us pulling our phones out and throwing them on the bed.

After dinner, we spent the next several hours lounging in front of the TV watching football while my mom and Mrs. Whitlock went through the Christmas decorations we were going to be putting up tomorrow. When the final game ended, Jasper asked if he could stay with us for the night and with their approval, Mr. and Mrs. Whitlock left on their own.

We said good night to our parents and headed up to Emmett's room to play video games until we were ready to sleep. Throwing myself onto the bed while I waited for Emmett to load the game, I picked up my phone. There weren't any other text messages but I did have a voice mail.

I dialed the number, punched in my access code and waited. Alice's voice was quiet, like she was afraid to be overheard.

_"Edward. I don't have a lot of time. Bella and I talked for a while. She's hurting pretty bad right now, but she said she's done with Jake for good. I've never seen her like this before and I think it's really over this time. She said she knew there was someone out there who would love her. She just had to find him. I don't know what that means, but I thought you should know. I'll keep an eye on her and…damn, here she comes. Call you later."_

The message ended and I pressed the button to delete it. I thought about what she said for a minute.

"Hey Jasper," I said absently.

"Yeah."

"Does it count if she tells Alice that it's over?"

"It could, I guess. Why?"

"Just checking." I left it at that.

I was taking Alice's word for it, knowing she would be happier than anyone if Bella left Jake for real. Then, as if my mind flipped a switch, I remembered the other thing she said. Bella knew there was someone else. 'Someone who would love her' were her exact words.

Could I ever get that lucky?

Maybe she had read my notes after all. I crossed my fingers…hoping.

* * *

**Well, Bella's finally got the whole story and completely flips out on Jake. Honestly though, how many of you wanted her to stab him with that knife in her hand when Jake tried to get her to take him back on Thanksgiving. *raises hand and jumps up and down* I did…I did. On the bright side, Bella and Jake are broken up and Edward knows about it. Now, let's see what he does with the information.**

**Thanks for sticking with me and remember, leave me a little something to tell me what you think. Until next time, my loves …much love to you - D**


	29. Moving On

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.**

**Thanks as always to my beta AgoodWITCH for all of the input, great comments and overall support on my stories. I love you so much.**

* * *

**Chapter 29 – Moving On**

**BPOV**

"I feel so stupid. He was with Leah the whole time and I didn't see it. I mean, I saw him looking at her a lot but I never thought… I never thought he would…"

I wiped my eyes on the sleeve of my jacket. Since Wednesday, I hadn't gone a single day without crying. Wednesday was bad. Thursday was worse but I was making it through this time. I wasn't going to let myself completely fall apart like I did the last time.

"He keeps cheating on me, Mom. I love him, but it's like I've never been good enough for him. I know what you'd probably say to that but it's true. Every time he does it, he makes me feel like I'm not good enough to love. Like my love for him means nothing. He sees me as a friend and that's all I'll ever be."

I wiped my eyes again. I hated the fact that I was crying over him one more time.

"I promised myself I wouldn't let this happen again but I keep falling for his games. This is the last time, Mom. I'm done with him. If he wants Leah, he can have her. I'm not going to fight for him anymore. Honestly, right now, I don't even think we could be friends after this. I don't trust him."

Thinking about everything he did and everything he said, I could feel myself getting angry again. I had to keep telling myself that Jacob Black didn't matter to me anymore. I refused to let him hurt me again. After several minutes, I was able to calm myself down again.

"I know it's gonna be hard to let go but I don't need him anymore."

Wiping away the last of my tears, I pulled the letter out of my pocket.

"Look, I got another letter from him. And no," I laughed, "I still don't know who he is. I know I've told you this before but I think it's because of him that I'm able to let Jake go this time. Sure it's crazy, because I don't know this guy, but I can tell he really likes me. I really hope, though, that if I ever get to meet him, he's as sweet in person as he is in his letters."

I opened the envelope. "You want to hear it."

From the day I stopped telling Alice and Rosalie about my letters, I started reading them to my mom. She was the best person to share them with anyway, not because she couldn't judge or talk back, but because we always talked about boys together. Well, it used to be one boy in particular, but she was always happy to talk when the topic of a cute boy came up.

"Now don't judge me, but I think I've read this about a hundred times since I kicked Jake out of the house. I've really needed his words, you know, to help get me through."

I took a deep breath and cleared my throat, getting ready to read.

"_Dear Bella,_

_I've missed you. This week has been so busy that I've hardly had time to see your beautiful face. Seeing you always makes my days better, but since you're in every thought I have, I haven't gone a single day without the picture of you in my mind. As we get ready to take our break for Thanksgiving, I want you to know that I am so thankful to have met you. You make my days brighter just by being around and whether we talk once a day, once a week, once a month, or not at all, I'm grateful that you're a part of my life. I won't get to see you until next week so I hope you have a great holiday with your dad. Don't overwork yourself because I know you tend to do that a lot. Until I see you again, take care of yourself._

_Yours Always"_

I looked the letter over silently one more time before I folded it back up again and put it back in my pocket.

"I want to know who he is, Mom. Why won't he tell me? Is he afraid I won't like him or something? I can already say that it won't happen. I like him so much already." I sighed. "I just don't understand why he can't just come to me and say 'it's me' or something like that."

I thought about that for a second.

"Now that I broke up with Jake, I wonder if he would do it. Do you think he will?" I took another second to think about it and grinned. "I hope he does."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Monday morning, I peeked around the corner to make sure the coast was clear. I didn't really expect to see Jake at the bus stop but, since he hadn't stopped calling all weekend, I didn't know for sure. No matter how many times I told him it was over he kept calling, begging me to listen and to give us another chance. It got to the point that I had to shut my phone off to keep from throwing it against the wall.

Feeling safe with Jake's absence, I walked around the corner and sat on the bench to wait for the bus. Alice showed up shortly after I sat down and put her arm around my shoulders. Wanting to be alone, I hadn't seen Alice since Thanksgiving so I knew what her first words were going to be.

"You okay?"

I nodded. "Believe it or not, I am," I said confidently.

She eyed me suspiciously.

"Really, Alice. I'm so done with him this time."

"You're not upset."

"Yeah." I shrugged. "Honestly, though, I've been waiting for it."

"Waiting?" she asked.

"Come on, Alice. If I saw the way he always looked at her, I know you saw it," I said, knowing she watched him closer than I did. "I actually expected him to leave a long time ago." Blowing out a deep breath, I knew it was time to confess. "I never told you but he tried to break up with me over the summer."

She looked shocked. I never told her about it because she would have yelled at me for running after him the way I did.

"It was after your party," I continued quickly so she didn't have a chance to speak. "He was pissed about seeing me with Edward. He accused me of cheating on him," I huffed and rolled my eyes, "with Edward of all people. Like I would ever…"

She cut me off. "Bella, Edward isn't…"

"Don't even start, Alice," I said irritably. "Anyway, we got into this huge fight and he told me it was over. He told me he was done with me. Then he just walked away and left me standing on my porch."

"Seriously? He just left you there." She sounded like she didn't believe me.

"Uh huh." I nodded. "But what did I do? The same thing idiot Bella always does. I ran after him. I stopped him on the corner and practically begged him not to walk away. I told him over and over again that he was the only one I wanted to be with."

I shuddered. I couldn't believe I stooped so low for someone that had been cheating on me the whole time.

"Things were so tense between us for a while but we got through it. I really thought we would be okay this time, but I should have known better. I was so stupid to believe in him again." I stood up and faced her. "But never again, Alice. No matter what he says or does, I'm over it… over him."

"I really hope so. I hate to see you so hurt all the time." She jumped up to hug me.

"I have to be," I said when I backed away from her. She looked puzzled. "I know I'll find someone better… someone who will love me and only me."

I couldn't hold back my grin as I thought of the letters hidden away in my drawer at home.

"I know that grin, Swan." She pointed her finger at me. "You're hiding something," she accused.

I shook my head a little too quickly. "No I'm not."

She narrowed her eyes for a second and I felt my face heat up. I looked down the street and saw the bus coming. When I turned back to Alice, her eyes went wide.

"You already found someone else, didn't you?" she questioned me.

"No!" I said a little too loud.

My protest came a little too quick and I knew she saw right through me when her smile spread across her face. She started jumping up and down, and clapping.

"You did!" she squealed. "Who is it? Do I know him? Is he cute?"

She fired question after question at me as I heard the bus stop behind me and I just shook my head and laughed.

"Let's go to school," I said, ignoring her completely.

I kept my mouth shut all the way to school as she hit me with name after name of who she thought it could be. I wasn't going to say a word, not that I didn't want her to know, but I didn't want to tell her that I'd been keeping his letters from her all this time. She would never forgive me for that.

We stepped off the bus and she was bouncing around me like a little puppy, still trying to get me to talk. I was thankful when I saw the guys standing right inside the doors when we walked into the school. I grabbed Alice's arms and walked up to Jasper.

"I think this," I handed Alice over to him, "is yours."

"Okay." He drew out the word, looking confused.

Jasper kissed her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. I backed up a few steps.

"I'm going to find out who he is," she said.

"He," Emmett said, looking back and forth between us. "He who?"

"There's nothing to find, Alice." I ignored his question.

"Bella and Jake broke up and…"

"Alice," I growled.

I smacked her in the arm when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward lift his head. He was the last person I wanted to know about Jacob and me.

"What? You did," she said, rubbing her arm. "Anyway, Bella and Jake broke up and she's already got someone else."

All eyes focused on me and Emmett's big fist nudged my arm.

"Damn, Shorty, you work fast."

Glaring at Alice with my 'I hate you' look, I spoke only to her. "I haven't _found_ anyone, Alice. Now drop it," I ordered.

"C'mon Shorty, don't hold out on us. Is it anyone we know?" Emmett asked and I saw the way he subtly kicked Edward's foot.

I wasn't about to get caught up in this conversation.

"I'm going to class," I said and turned to leave.

As I walked away I heard Emmett speak again.

"You hear that? Time to man up, Edward."

"Seriously, Emmett?" I heard Edward's voice and my footsteps slowed a little. "She just broke up with her boyfriend. Can't you think about how she feels for just a minute?" He sounded angry.

I didn't know what to make of his comment. There was no reason for him to be angry. Then again, there wasn't a reason for him to care about my feelings either. As far as I could tell, a girl's feelings never mattered to Edward.

I picked up my pace, not wanting to hear anymore, but it didn't work.

"You can be a real asshole sometimes," he said, still angry. "Catch you later, Jasper."

Fighting the urge to look back, I practically ran to my locker to get away from them.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

I was, evidently, not as okay as I thought I was because keeping my tears at bay got harder and harder as the day went on. I'd seen Jacob a few times and he looked so sad. He walked through the halls with Sam, Paul and Embry like he did every day but he never really joined in the conversations they were having.

When lunch came, he sat at the table with them but didn't eat anything. He spent his time typing something on his phone, ignoring everything else. I watched as Paul tried to take his phone away and Jacob punched him, taking his phone back and walking away.

I sat in shock when Leah tried to catch him as he walked out of the cafeteria and he pushed her away, yelling, "Get away from me! This is your fault!"

And my heart broke when he turned to look at me. The pain on his face was something I'd never seen in him before. Not once in all the times he'd walked away from me had he ever looked so broken and now – because of me – he did.

I didn't understand what was happening. He was the one who had been cheating on me for the past nine months. He was the one who would talk to Leah on the phone when he wasn't with me. He was the one who had Leah over at his house all the time doing god knows what with her. He wanted this, didn't he?

Then again, he was the one who was at my house on Thanksgiving telling me he only wanted me. He was the one who hadn't stopped calling me all weekend. He was the one who left me more voicemails and text messages than I could count. And he was the one who pushed Leah away telling her to stay away from him.

I needed to talk to him. What if he meant what he said? What if he really did want me and not her this time? What if…?

"Bella."

A quiet voice snapped me back to the present. I looked around, shocked to find myself between a set of bookshelves. I was so lost in thought that I must have been on autopilot when I went to meet my debate team in the library after lunch.

"Bella." A hand touched my shoulder, making me jump.

"Edward," I said his name as I backed into the shelf.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." He pulled his hand back.

"I'm fine," I snapped at him.

His face fell, his eyes found the floor and I instantly felt bad when he turned to leave.

"I'm sorry." I rushed the words out before he could leave. "I didn't mean… I just… I…" I couldn't form a single sentence.

The weight of everything with Jacob hit me all over again and I turned the opposite way to leave before the tears I'd been trying to hold back all day finally fell.

"Bella wait." Edward's hand on my arm stopped me. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head, wiping my eyes. I felt him come closer.

"Can I help?" His other hand grasped my shoulder.

"No." I took a step away. "I have to go."

His fingers tightened slightly and I froze.

"Don't." His voice dropped to a whisper, sounding unsure. "Please let me help."

When I heard the words, my mind took me back to my birthday over a year ago. He was there for me then and he was asking to be there for me now. Without thought, I spun, wrapped my arms around his waist and cried into his chest.

He slowly put his arms around me but when he did, he held me tight.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," was all he said, but it was enough.

Neither one of us spoke. Edward moved one hand to run through my hair as he rested his chin on the top of my head.

My tears finally stopped and I pulled away from him. His hands slid down my arms to grab both of mine. I looked up into his eyes and, again, this reminded me so much of the last time I stood with him like this.

"Bella," he seemed hesitant to say anything. "I'm here for you." He swallowed hard. "I mean…if you want someone to talk to. I'm here."

Everything about him – his face, his eyes and his words – seemed so sincere. I was torn, seeing both the boy I remembered and the guy I've grown to hate.

"Edward, I…" I didn't know what to say.

Every thought passing through my head told me to get as far away from him as possible before he could hurt me too. But there was a small piece of my heart that kept me frozen in place, begging me to see him as the sweet person Alice tried to tell me he was.

"Hey Bella, where did you…?"

Rose's interruption startled me and I ripped my hands away from Edward's. That strange closeness that we always shared shattered.

"Oh shit! I'm sorry," she said.

The moment was over and my mind took over again.

"I gotta go." I turned and ran.

I found myself in the bathroom again, locked in a stall with my knees pulled into my chest. I was so confused. Seeing Jacob's face throughout day hurt me and it made me doubt my decision to walk away. But, I realized I'd made the right decision as I thought about everything again while I cried in Edward's arms.

That was another problem. Why would Edward care anyway? I thought again about his words from this morning. He'd gotten angry with his own brother because he thought he was being insensitive to my feelings, which seemed odd to me since it was impossible for Edward not to know that I hated him. I'd said it enough to him and everyone else in the past year.

But he went out of his way to check on me, asking if I was okay. He offered me help and gave me a shoulder to cry on when I needed it, just like he did the first time we met. Being with him like that again, I didn't feel any of that hatred towards him. Having my arms around him and getting caught in his eyes again, I felt like I did the night of Alice's party when I wanted nothing more than to kiss him.

And that was what had me so confused. How could I feel that way knowing that his attitude and behavior made me want to hurt him every time I laid eyes on him? Why was I seriously considering his offer to talk about Jacob when I knew he had his own agenda? Why would I even think about letting Edward into any part of my life, knowing that I was just another name on his list?

The bell rang, leaving me with that last thought. I left my hiding place feeling even more confused than before. There were things I really needed to think about, but now wasn't the time. I rushed off to class, deciding to put everything out of my head until I had time to really think about it.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

After dinner, I went to my room to work on more research for my debate next week. I wanted to check my email first, though, and found the reason for Jacob's constant typing at lunch sitting in my inbox. Staring at the screen, I debated whether I should open it or not. Not in the mood to cry right now, I decided to leave it for later.

I worked for hours looking up various societal explanations for why sex before marriage was a good thing. I hated this and still couldn't believe Rosalie and I got saddled with this ridiculous topic. If the topic itself wasn't bad enough, we were stuck arguing our point against Angela and Edward.

It was laughable, really. Edward Cullen making an argument against sex before marriage. At fifteen, the guy has already had sex with more girls than some adults I know. How could he possibly give a convincing argument when the practice would be so foreign to him?

My work was interrupted when I heard the front door slam shut. I heard my dad grumbling downstairs and looked at the clock – eleven fifteen. He'd only left for work four hours ago so there should be no reason he was home already.

_Maybe he got sick or something._

Just as I walked out of my bedroom to go check on him, I heard something shatter in the kitchen. I ran down the stairs as fast as possible and found him standing at the kitchen table with a glass in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

Other than a beer or two a night, I hadn't seen my dad drink since the night my mom died. I ran to Alice's house that night, scared because he was yelling and breaking things around the house. When he came to find me the next day, I refused to go home because I didn't want to see him like that again. He promised me – from that day on – he would never drink again.

Something was really wrong if he broke his promise.

I peeked around the corner. "Dad," I said quietly.

"Bella!" He looked between me and the bottle in front of him. "What are you…?"

"Are you okay?" I asked, interrupting him.

He pushed the bottle away from him and moved to stand by the window. With his back to me, he tried to claim that nothing was wrong.

"Don't lie to me, Dad," I said with more force.

He always hid things from me when he thought I was too young to handle something. I'd been through a lot working at the newspaper and I didn't think that excuse was good enough anymore, especially if whatever the problem was made him start drinking again.

"I said it's nothing," he said in a harsh voice.

"You drink whiskey for nothing," I snapped at him.

"Get to bed, Bella. It's late," he said, trying to get rid of me.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong."

"Go to bed." He raised his voice.

"No!" I yelled as I stepped up to the table.

"Damn it, kid, don't make me tell you again!" he hollered as his fist hit the wall.

I flinched. My dad hadn't spoken to me like that in years. Without realizing I had picked it up, the glass he had been drinking out of flew across the kitchen and shattered against the wall. He spun around so quick that he lost his balance a little and stumbled back into the window.

"I'm not going anywhere!" I screamed. "Not until you explain this." I picked up the bottle and shook it.

"I am your father!" He stomped toward me, ripping the bottle from my hand and slamming it back on the table. "You _do not_ get to question me!" His loud voice echoed through the kitchen.

"_My father_ made me a promise and _my father_ would never break his promises," I screamed and swept the whiskey bottle off the table as hard as I could. "I don't know who _you_ are, _Charlie_!"

My cheek felt like it exploded and I saw his eyes widen just as my eyes blurred with tears when we both realized what he'd done. I was already halfway up the stairs when I heard him say he was sorry and start coming after me.

My cheek throbbed and I cried as I leaned against my locked bedroom door. My dad had never hit me before and I was shaking just thinking about it. When the pounding started, I jumped away from the door.

"Go away and leave me alone!" I shrieked.

"Open the door, please. I'm so sorry."

He pounded on the door while twisting the doorknob, trying to get in.

"Go away!" I screamed as I lowered myself to dangle from my open window.

My fingers let go and I fell when I hit the ground but I got up fast and took off running. It wouldn't take him long to figure out I was gone and I needed time. So I went to the last place he would think to look for me.

My lungs hurt when I finally stopped to catch my breath. It was dark inside but I knocked on the window anyway. I got nothing so I knocked again. A few seconds later, the window slid open.

"Bella. What are you…?"

"Let me in, Jake, please," I begged.

He reached his hands out to me and pulled me up until my knee found the windowsill. Using his shoulders to brace myself, I lifted my leg high enough to step on the edge of the window. From that position, I pushed myself forward, practically jumping into his arms.

"God, honey, you're freezing."

He held me for a second before sitting me in his lap as he sat on the bed. He pulled his blanket around us and held on to me while running his hand up and down my arm, trying to warm me quicker.

I hugged him with as much strength as I had, but cried out in pain when I rested my cheek on his shoulder. Jake pulled back quickly and I covered my cheek and my mouth, hoping Billy hadn't heard me.

Jake shifted quickly and a dull light lit up the space around his bed. He looked upset as he pulled my hands from my face. His forehead creased as he studied my face.

"Your cheek is bruised," he whispered as he kissed my cheek. "Talk to me, honey. Tell me what happened."

I started to cry again as I told him about the fight with my dad, the pain I felt when he slapped me and why I ran away.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said hugging me while being extra careful not to hurt me again.

He shifted again, sat me on the bed next to him and moved to his door.

"Where are you going?" I asked, slightly panicked.

"To get you some ice."

I jumped up and grabbed his arm.

"No! Your dad will tell him I'm here."

"Dad's sleeping." He shrugged. "Wait here."

Jake slipped out the door and I sat back on the bed, wrapping back up in his blanket. It only took a few minutes before his door opened and he came back in carrying a bag of ice, a glass of water and a bottle of aspirin.

I smiled. No matter what Jake and I ever went through, he always knew what I needed without me asking. My head really was pounding so I thanked him for taking care of me when he handed me two pills and the water.

"How do you always know?" I asked when he kneeled down in front of me, wrapping the bag of ice in a towel.

Even with his head down, I saw his cheeks lift a little with his smile.

"We've known each other forever, Bella." He looked up and I saw so much emotion in his eyes. "And because I love you."

Without taking his eyes from mine, he lifted the bag and touched it to my face. I winced but I didn't know if it was from his words or the chill of the bag on my cheek.

"Don't," I whispered.

"I mean it, Bella. I…"

I put my fingers on his lips to stop him. I decided earlier that we needed to talk but I wasn't ready for it yet.

"Jake," I shook my head, "I can't. Not tonight."

"I know and I'm sorry." His face fell and his eyes turned pleading. "It's just that I've missed you so much. I can't stop thinking about you. I can't sleep. I know how much I hurt you, Bella, and I swear to you, if you give me another chance I would never…"

"Jake," I pulled his hand away from my cheek, "I love you. I always have."

He smiled and leaned in a little to kiss me but I leaned back, placing a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"But I can't do this anymore," I said and he sat back again. "Nine months, Jacob."

I said the words like they should have explained everything, but he sat in front of me looking lost, so I continued.

"You may not have wanted me before and I hated it. I hated that you always chose her over me. But this time was different. Don't you see that?"

He didn't answer, so I kept talking.

"We were together, Jake…really together for more than a year. Then you tell me you've been cheating on me for nine of the thirteen months we were together. And now you want me to come back to you because you throw a few 'I love you's' at me?"

"I'm sorry, honey." The towel with the ice was back on my cheek. "I never wanted to hurt you but I promise you, Bella, that it's just you and me from now on."

He tried to kiss me again and, again, I had to push him away.

"Stop. We can't do this anymore." I pushed the ice away again, placing my hands on his cheeks. "Jake, you _don't_ love me. You and I both know it."

"But, I do, Bella," he protested.

He dropped the ice and grabbed my hands, holding them between us.

I shook my head. "You don't, Jake, not the way a boyfriend should."

I wanted to cut my tongue out for the next sentence I was about to speak.

"You're in love with Leah and as much as I hate to admit it to myself, you always will be."

Surprising myself completely, I was actually calm while talking about this. I wouldn't say it didn't hurt to tell him what I was feeling, but I'd cried so much over him in the past six days that I didn't have any tears left for him.

"We've been friends since we were little kids, Jake." I swallowed and squeezed his hands. "We have to go back to that. It hurts too much to keep trying for more."

Before I expected it, he kissed me. I lost myself in the moment, tangling my fingers in his hair and holding him to me. Too soon after it started, Jake pulled away, resting his forehead against mine with his eyes closed.

"I never wanted to hurt you," he whispered.

"I know," I whispered back. Backing away to look him in the eye, I held a hand to his cheek, asking, "Friends?"

"Best friends." He gave me a sad smile and kissed the tip of my nose.

My giggle turned into a yawn as the night finally caught up with me. Jake laughed.

"Come on, honey. Let's get some sleep."

We both crawled under the blankets and Jake held me against his chest while I fell asleep.

* * *

**Bella is finally letting Jake go and her secret admirer gets all the credit. If he wasn't so wonderful and sweet she wouldn't even be thinking about another guy. What is she going to do when she finds out who he is?**

**Thanks for sticking with me and remember, leave me a little something to tell me what you think. Until next time, my loves …much love to you - D**


	30. Nothing Left Unsaid

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.**

**Thanks as always to my beta AgoodWITCH for all of the great comments on this chapter. You know which one's I mean. I love you so much.**

* * *

**Chapter 30 – Nothing Left Unsaid**

**BPOV**

"Bella."

I groaned, curling up under the blankets and burying my face in the pillow.

"Bella."

A heavy arm slid around my waist.

"Wake up, honey."

My eyes fluttered open and my body jerked when, at first, I didn't recognize where I was. The arm around my waist stiffened and a chuckle sounded in my ear.

"Morning, beautiful."

I felt the kiss to my temple.

"Morning, Jake," I said as I stretched. "What time is it?"

"It's early." He rested his head on mine with his chin on my shoulder. "But you have to get up."

I rolled over and snuggled into his chest. "I don't want to."

He laughed a little louder this time, placing another kiss on my forehead.

"As much as I would love to stay here with you like this, I have to get ready for school."

"Damn it," I groaned and rushed to get out of bed. "I have to get home. I'm gonna be so late."

I slipped my shoes on and hurried to the window, ready to go out the same way I had come in. From his spot on the bed, Jake leaned a little and grabbed one arm, stopping me in my tracks.

"Bella, wait."

He pulled me to stand in front of him. He took both my hands in his and his face suddenly looked worried.

"Bella," he said slowly. "You don't have to walk home." He cleared his throat. "Your…um… your dad is here to pick you up."

"What? What's he doing here?" I panicked. "Let go, Jake," I said, pulling at his hands. "I have to go."

"He came here after you fell asleep last night." Jake let out a nervous laugh. "He probably wanted to kill me for being in bed with you, but when he saw you sleeping, he looked a little sad and said he would let you sleep."

I was shocked. I figured he would show up here at some point during the night but I also expected him to pull me out of bed and drag me home.

"But he never left. He slept on the couch last night. When I walked out this morning, he asked me to wake you up so he could take you home." He took a deep breath. "Don't be mad at me, Bells, but I kinda got pissed at him this morning. I yelled at him for hitting you."

"You shouldn't have done that."

"I know, but seeing him after what you told me just pissed me off." He tucked me into his lap. "He's really sorry, Bella. He told me that he's keeping you home today so you two can talk. He doesn't want you to be upset or afraid of him."

"Why are _you_ telling me this instead of _him_?" I asked.

"He was afraid you wouldn't want to see him," he said, softly. "So, I told him I would tell you he was here."

"I don't want to go." I curled into Jake's chest as he rubbed circles on my back.

"I know, honey, but you should." I lifted my head to meet his eyes. "He's so upset, Bells, and I know he didn't mean to do what he did. So give him a chance to explain."

I silently begged Jake to give me another answer. I wasn't ready to face my dad yet.

"Go with him, Bella. Give him a chance."

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I nodded. "Okay."

We got up and he walked me to his door. I hesitated a little, afraid to see him. Jake put a hand on my back.

"You can always call me if you need me."

Knowing he would be there for me if I needed him gave me the courage to turn the doorknob and leave the safety of his room.

My eyes were on the floor as Jake held my hand and led me down the hallway to the living room. I repeated his words in my head over and over like a chant.

_He didn't mean it. He didn't mean it._

I knew he didn't mean to hit me. I knew it was just a reaction to what I said to him. But that didn't mean it didn't scare me when he did it.

My dad had gotten angry and upset with me plenty of times in the past, but he never got mad enough to hit me before. I thought that was something he would never do, but I was wrong.

Maybe it was the alcohol that made him do it. I didn't know if he was drinking before he came home or if his first drink was at the house. Hell, I didn't know if he even drank anything at all. All I knew was when there was alcohol around; my dad didn't act like my dad anymore.

I didn't realize we were already in the living room until I felt Jacob drop my hand and I was lifted off the ground. My dad was squeezing me so hard that I could barely breathe.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry," he whispered into my ear.

Tears filled my eyes as I listened to his constant apologies. He obviously felt guilty and I felt awful for running away like I did, making him worry on top of everything else.

"Sorry, Dad." I hugged him around his neck. "I didn't mean to run away again."

"Don't be sorry, Bells. It was my fault. I shouldn't have done that." He put me down and touched my cheek. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Jake took care of me." I turned to smile at Jacob, who was still standing next to me. He grabbed my hand again and squeezed.

"Thank you for taking care of my little girl, Jacob."

That sparked my anger again, bringing back what started the fight between us in the first place.

"I'm not a little girl anymore," I yelled. "When will you see that?"

"Bella, that's not…"

"I'm old enough to get the truth. Stop hiding things from me!"

"I'm not hid…"

"Yes you are!" I shouted, cutting him off again. "You always do. Did you think I would see a whiskey bottle on the table and think everything's okay? Did you think you could break your promise to me and not tell me why? How could you do that?" I took a step away from him. "It's just us, remember? That's what you told me when mom died."

I broke down again, unable to hold back the tears as I thought of our talks after the funeral.

"That's what you told me, but you lied."

Jake pulled me into his chest before I could say any more.

"Shh, it's okay, Bella. Don't cry."

My arms found their place around his waist as I held on to him. His soothing words and his hand running through my hair calmed me down so I could at least breathe normal again.

"Jake," Billy spoke up, "why don't you finish getting ready for school before you're late."

I tightened my grip, not wanting to let him go. He took a step back and ducked to my eye level. His fingers brushed my cheek as he held my eyes.

"All you have to do is call."

I gave him a weak smile and nodded. I knew he'd come running if I needed him.

Quickly, he brushed his lips over mine and hugged me again.

"Love you, Bella," he whispered.

"Love you too, Jake," I whispered before he disappeared into his room.

I ignored my dad and turned to Billy.

"I'm sorry for coming here last night and sneaking in like I did."

"It's okay, Bella. No matter what happens, you're always welcome here."

"Thanks, Billy." I finally turned to my dad. "Let's go home."

As I walked to the door, I heard him thank Billy for giving me a place to stay last night. Then, as I pulled the door open, I heard Billy say I was like a daughter to him too. With a smile on my face, I walked to the car and waited for my dad.

The ride home was tense, neither of us speaking. When he stopped in the driveway, I sat still for a few seconds to collect my thoughts before getting out and following him inside.

In the living room, my dad sat in the recliner and I found a place on the couch, pulling my knees into my chest. I stayed silent and waited for him to speak.

After ten minutes, the silence became too much.

"Did you call the school?" I asked quietly.

"I told them you weren't feeling well," he answered.

"Did you call my coach?"

We were just starting our season and the first swim meet was in two days and I didn't want to miss it because I didn't go to practice today.

"Sorry. I'll call her later."

A few more minutes passed before he spoke again.

"Look Bella," he said nervously, "I don't think I want to know what went on with you and Jake last night, but I really don't think you should get involved with him again."

I rolled my eyes. "Nothing happened, Dad. We talked and then we went to sleep."

I didn't want to say anything more, but I didn't want him to worry about me either.

"And we're not getting back together either," I added.

"Okay." He exhaled loudly like he was holding his breath waiting for the answer. "It's just that he's hurt you so many times already and, after seeing you in…in bed with him, I don't want you to give him the chance to do it again. I hate to see you crying all the time."

His concerns softened me up a little.

"It's over for good this time, Dad. Our talk last night pretty much ended it and I'm not going back again."

"That's good." He sounded relieved.

"Dad," I said, exasperated, "did you keep me home today to talk about Jake or are you going to tell me what's really going on?"

I knew he was stalling so I just jumped right in.

"I've been watching you," I told him. "You've been coming home angry every night. You hardly talk anymore. In fact, the conversation we had about Jake last week was the longest one we've had in a couple of months. This isn't like you. You may not think I noticed, but I did." I took a deep breath. "I want to know what's going on, Dad, and don't lie to me this time."

He sat in his chair, wringing his hands together. Too much time passed and I was getting more frustrated than ever.

"Dad." My voice was louder and even I could hear my impatience.

"I got suspended last night." His voice was quiet. "Well me, my partner, James, and a few others."

"What!" I shrieked. "Why? Why would they do that?"

He cleared his throat. "Internal Affairs has us under investigation and we've been put on suspension until this whole drug case is cleared up."

"Drug case? What…?" I paused.

It took me a minute to put the pieces together and then it clicked.

"Does this have something to do with that drug house across town?"

He finally turned to look at me, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"How do you even know what I'm talking about? Or better yet, how in the hell would you know anything about a place like that, Bella?"

He sounded like he was accusing me of something. His stone-faced expression made it clear to me that his mind already formed the worst possible conclusions.

"Drugs, Dad?" I shot him my own angry glare. "Do you seriously think I would _ever_ do something like that?"

"Well, you never know with kids your age."

"Don't you think you raised me better than that?"

"Bella, I know I've arrested kids whose parents raised them better than that. It doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Some people just get caught up without realizing it and when they do, they don't know how to get out." He leaned forward in his chair. "I don't ever want that for you, Bella. You have an amazing life ahead of you."

"Dad, I'm smart enough to stay away from all of that. But this isn't about me." I moved to the end of the couch closest to his chair. "Why are they investigating you? You don't have anything to do with that place…do you?"

I felt like a traitor even asking that question. I knew my dad would never be involved with something like that, but Internal Affairs getting involved in anything was bad and I was ashamed to admit that I worried that I was wrong.

"No." His eyes moved from me to the floor. "_I _don't."

"But…" I knew there was more by the way he placed the emphasis on himself.

"I have a feeling that James and a couple of the others are."

He got up and walked into the kitchen, coming back with two bottles of water.

"I've never really trusted James," he said, handing me one of the bottles. "Not once from the day they assigned him to me. He's an arrogant punk and he's caused me more trouble than he's worth."

He took a long drink of his water, almost draining the whole bottle before he was done. After screwing the cap back on, he stood silent for a second before throwing the bottle against the wall. I jumped back into the couch when it hit, scared again.

"He's dirty, Bella," he growled. "He's dirty and there's nothing I can do about it."

He started pacing and I curled myself into a ball where I sat.

"I can't turn in my own partner. I can't talk to my captain. And I sure as hell can't talk to IA." He threw up his hands in frustration. "I'm stuck and I just might go down because of that son of a bitch."

He kicked the recliner as he passed it and continued pacing.

"All these years on the force mean nothing! A spotless record doesn't mean a goddamn thing! All because that fu-," he paused, "because that punk and his two buddies are mixed up in something that could ruin _my_ career!"

I was frozen in place, watching my dad pace back and forth, not knowing what to say or how to react. The he turned on me.

"Is that the truth you were looking for!" he yelled at me. "Is this what you wanted to know? That your old man is going to lose everything because some low-life punk bastard found his way into my life!"

Two minutes ago, I was afraid to say anything, but now I was anything but scared.

"Yes." I unfurled myself from the ball I had crouched into. "That's exactly what I wanted to know. It's you and me, remember?"

He dropped back into the recliner and buried his face in his hands after I repeated the words I'd said to him at Billy's house.

"You're sixteen years old, Bella. You shouldn't have to deal with this." Picking his head up, he said, "I'm your father. It's my responsibility to protect you, not to dump my problems on you."

"We're all we have, right? Mom can't help us through this one, but I might be able to."

I needed to pay Michael a visit. He may be the only one who could help my dad.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about but I don't want you thinking you can solve my problems, Bella. You're a kid and you need to act like one for once and leave this mess for me to handle."

He let out a grunt of frustration and got back out of the chair, pacing silently a few times before throwing himself back in the recliner again.

"Besides, there's nothing either of us can do about it now anyway. My life is in IA's hands now."

"Not necessarily." He eyed me suspiciously. "You wanted to know how I knew about the drug house." I took a deep breath. "Well…a few weeks before I finished at the paper, Michael went to Mr. Sawyer and told him about it. He had a hunch that there were cops involved with that place and he set out to investigate it. It's what I was working on when my time with them ended. All I have to do is call him or go talk to him and…"

"Oh, hell no!" His face turned a shade of red I'd never seen before. "You're out of your mind if you think I'm letting you get anywhere near this."

"But he can help."

"No!'

"He could…"

"No!" His voice was so loud it echoed.

"But, Dad…" I tried to argue.

"Damn it, kid, don't you listen?" he roared. "You're not getting involved!"

"But, Dad, if I could just…"

"Isabella Marie Swan!" He shot up from his chair with his finger pointed directly at me. "Stay the hell out of my business!"

"Fine!" I screamed back at him before I jumped off the couch and ran to my room.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

The rest of the week crawled by and the tension between my dad and I at home made everything worse. The fact that he was stuck at home instead of being out on the streets made him more irritable than he was the night he'd gotten suspended. He became a permanent fixture in the recliner, only getting up to eat, go to the bathroom and go to bed. It hurt to watch him just give up like that.

I had tried to talk to him a couple more times about the investigation but each time I did, he yelled and threatened me with being grounded for so long that I'd even forget what _he_ looked like. Through all the arguments, my phone began feeling like a lead weight in my pocket, getting heavier and heavier each day I'd let pass without calling Michel.

I knew he'd been working on this story for months now and he had to have some information that could help my dad. But there was nothing I could do about it. If I knew my dad, he had already called Michael or Mr. Sawyer or both and told them – in no uncertain terms – that if either one of them talked to me about this case he'd hunt them down and give Internal Affairs a reason to investigate him.

I was constantly on edge, torn between wanting to help my dad and wanting to keep myself from a long prison sentence spent behind my locked front door. I was worried, nervous, tense, angry, and absolutely ready to pull my hair out. I'd been taking my frustrations out on my friends but I couldn't tell them why. By Friday afternoon, it seemed the only ones I hadn't scared off or pissed off were Alice, Jasper and Jake.

When the final bell rang to end school for the week, I hurried to my locker so I could grab my things for swim practice. I just wanted to jump into the pool and do lap after lap until my mind let go of everything that had been weighing on me all week. I knew I was going to be hit with it again when I got home and saw my dad sitting in that damn recliner and I needed this time alone to get ready for the coming weekend alone with him.

When I opened the locker door, however, I was greeted with something that I was ashamed to say I had completely forgotten about. Until I saw it, I hadn't realized that I didn't get my letter this week and if I were paying attention, I would have been expecting it. One letter every week since the school year started and my secret admirer hadn't missed a single one.

The small pink envelope waiting for me on top of my books brought an involuntary smile to my face and eased some of the tension I had been feeling. Quickly, I glanced over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching before slipping the envelope into my bag. With the week I'd been having, I needed his words now more than ever.

Swinging the door shut, I took off for the pool. Once inside the locker room, I didn't bother to put my things in my locker. I simply ran and hid in one of the shower stalls to read.

_Dear Bella,_

_I have been so concerned for you all week. You looked so broken when you came back to school on Monday and it hurt me so much to see you that way. I wished more than anything that I could do something for you. I wished I could hold you and take all your pain away so I could see the smile that I love so much. But then something changed. You missed school on Tuesday and when you came back, the hurt was gone and a confusing mix of emotions took its place. I've seen you angry and worried. I've even seen you upset enough to cry and I can't even begin to imagine what could have happened in one single day to change you so completely. Whatever it is, though, I know you're strong enough to make it through. But if you ever find that it's not enough, just know I'm with you. Feel my arms around you, Bella. I would be holding you if I could. Keep your head up, beautiful, and smile for me._

_Yours Always_

"Why can't you," I whispered to myself as I held his letter to my heart.

I slid down the wall and wrapped my arms around my legs. I read the letter again, tears blurring my eyes when I got to the last few sentences. He thought I was strong. He said I was beautiful. He wanted to hold me and make me smile. I wanted that. I wanted him.

"Just tell me who you are," I mumbled as my forehead hit my knees.

Sitting on the cold tile floor, I did what he said. Closing my eyes, I wrapped my arms around my chest, pretending they were his. I wished I knew what they really felt like but I let my imagination fill in the blanks to get me through.

I lost track of time and before I knew it, my coach was yelling to get everyone out of the locker room. I jumped up, grabbed my things and ran out to change for practice.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Things got a little better over the weekend. My dad was up and out of the house quite often, getting ready for his big hunting trip with Billy next weekend. I spent most of my time with Rosalie either at home or at the library, getting ready for our debate on Wednesday.

All of our research was done. Our brief was written and we had our citations finished and ready to hand to Mrs. Martin on Monday. All we needed to do now was practice. The two of us spent Sunday and Monday nights going over and over our arguments, polishing our speeches and perfecting our timing.

Tuesday night, Rose and I were going over our arguments a final time with Alice acting as moderator and keeping time for us. After running through it a couple of times, we finally felt like we were ready.

"Okay, now that that's done," Alice said after Rosalie went through her last point, "we need to take a look at your clothes for tomorrow."

Rosalie went to her bag and pulled out a simple black, knee-length skirt and a red button-up blouse with full-length sleeves.

"I'm wearing this with a pair of black heels," she stated plainly.

Alice nodded, tapping her chin. "Simple. Bold. You'll have that serious look that will have people focusing on your words instead of your assets." She waved her hand at Rosalie's chest that was really starting to fill out.

Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Bella?" Alice's questioning eyes landed on me.

I went to my closet and pulled out a black skirt similar to Rosalie's but an inch shorter and a deep green sweater with a high neckline and elbow-length sleeves.

Alice's head leaned to one side and then the other as she looked at my outfit. I thought it looked nice and didn't know what she could be thinking about so hard.

"What's wrong with it?" I asked, irritated after a few minutes of silence.

"It's just not right." Alice moved to dig in her bag. "Here try this."

She moved the green sweater out of the way and put a blue one in its place. I saw the dip in the neckline on the sweater and shook my head.

"I can't wear that, Alice," I said after noticing the grin on her face.

"Why not? It's perfect."

"We're supposed to dress conservative, Alice. That," I said, point directly at the neckline, "is nowhere near conservative."

"Bella," Alice rolled her eyes, "if this was a debate in front of the whole school that would be one thing, but it's not. You're going to be in your classroom and the only one there to judge you will be Mrs. Martin."

She looked back at Rosalie who was silently laughing in the corner, winked and turned back to me.

"Besides, it'll help you throw off your competition."

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "Angela couldn't care less what I wear."

She giggled. "She won't… but Edward will."

Smiling at her, I picked up the blue sweater, ran my hand over the material once and threw it back at Alice.

"Then I'm definitely going with the green one."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Nerves were getting the better of me all day and there was only one hour to go before my debate. I needed to do something to calm down, but nothing was working. Sitting with the girls at lunch, I pulled out our form and started going over it again.

"Bella," Rosalie snatched the paper from my hand, "give it a rest."

"But Rose," I said as I tried to take it back from her.

"No buts." She stuffed the paper back in my bag. "We're ready, Bella. Quit stressing already."

"Just leave her, Rose," Alice jumped in. "This is how she gets. You should know that by now."

"I know, but it's stressing me out just watching her," Rosalie complained.

"Please, you are just as intense as I am when it comes to this stuff." I nudged her leg with my foot. "Our grade is riding on this."

"I'm not worried and you shouldn't be either." Rosalie looked me in the eye. "We got this, Bella." She winked. "Angela and Edward aren't going to know what hit 'em."

Chancing a glance at the guys' table, I saw Edward laughing and joking around with Jasper, acting like he didn't have a care in the world. I wished I had that kind of confidence, but I didn't. Not when I had to stand in front of a classroom full of people and talk to someone like him about sex before marriage.

He could take every argument I made and turn it around on me because he knew things I didn't. He had the experience. I didn't. He knew firsthand what sex before marriage was really about and all I had was what I could learn from books and the internet. It wasn't enough… I wasn't enough. I never was when it came to Edward Cullen.

A sudden a lack of oxygen tore me from my thoughts and I couldn't breathe. I was on the verge of hyperventilating and it was made worse when Edward turned his head toward me, caught me looking and smiled. My body went rigid as I was caught in his stare.

Thankfully, Jasper got his attention and when his eyes released mine, I jumped up and ran from the room. I heard the girls calling after me but I couldn't stop. I had to get away. I had to go somewhere where I could be alone, where I could think and where I could breathe.

As I turned the corner heading into the main hallway, I was knocked off my feet as I slammed into a hard body. Strong hands helped me to a sitting position and as I shook my head a little to clear it, I heard a quiet laugh.

"Running through the halls is strongly discouraged, Miss Swan."

"S-s-sorry, Mr. C-Collins," I stuttered, not quite back to normal yet. "I just…"

After my near hyperventilation and the run from the cafeteria, I was still unable to catch my breath.

Mr. Collins helped me move from the middle of the hallway to rest against the wall, tilting my head back to open my airway. He kneeled down beside me with a single hand on my shoulder.

"Take deep breaths, Miss Swan," he ordered and I listened.

Breathing in and out slowly, I was able to calm myself and get a little of my control back.

"Now, tell me what is so important that it has you streaking through the hallways, trying to run down everyone in your path." His face broke into one of those rare smiles.

"I think I'm having a panic attack," I admitted as the heat of my embarrassment crept up from my chest to my cheeks.

"And why is that," he asked simply.

I released a deep breath. "I have a big debate in Mrs. Martin's class next period and I'm not ready for it. I don't have enough information. I don't know all the facts. I can't do it. I'm going to fail."

The words rushed out of me as I felt the panic rise in me again.

"Slow down and breathe, Miss Swan." He chuckled.

I did what he asked again and calmed myself one more time.

"Let me ask you, have you done your research?" I nodded.

"Have you written your arguments?" I nodded again.

"Have you gone over your words so many times that they're stuck in your head?"

I exhaled loudly. "Yes."

"Then the Isabella Swan that I know will have no problem with a simple debate. The Isabella Swan that I know can stand strong and face anything." He helped me to stand. "If I've learned anything about you in the last year and a half, Miss Swan, it's that there is nothing you _can't_ do. If you say that you've fully prepared for this debate, then I know without a doubt that you will be successful." He put a hand on my shoulder again. "You just have to believe it yourself."

I felt the heat rising in my cheeks again at his compliments. If the man I respected so much believed in me, then I needed to believe in myself.

"Thank you, Mr. Collins," I said as he pulled his hand away. "I think I lost myself for a minute, believing that, just because my opponent has more knowledge on our given subject than I have, that I couldn't compete."

"And now?" he asked.

Another deep, cleansing breath brought my confidence back.

"I can do this," I assured both him and myself. "I've done everything possible to prepare for this." I stared up at him with determination. "I'm ready."

Another smile showed on his face. "Now that's what I like to hear from my favorite student." He looked at his watch. "I better run before I'm late for my meeting."

"No running in the halls, Sir," I called after him as he rushed off.

He stopped and turned with another smile. "Thanks for the reminder, Miss Swan."

Mr. Collins did an exaggerated walk until he heard me laugh and then moved with more purpose down the hallway. He really was a great man and a great advisor. I was glad to have gotten to know him inside and outside the classroom.

Mimicking his movements, I walked with purpose to my locker to grab my things so I could change for my debate. When I opened it, I saw my salvation in the form of a small pink envelope. This time I didn't care who saw me. I needed his words more than anything, so I pulled out the letter to read.

_Dear Bella,_

_I know you have a big day today and I wish you all the luck in the world. Just know that I'll be thinking about you and standing beside you, giving you all of my support. Your strength and determination are a sight to see and I know you'll be amazing. So, before you step to that podium today, feel my arms around you and know that I'm there with you. Good luck, beautiful._

_Yours always_

"Thank you," I whispered to myself – wishing I could say it to him – and sighed, leaning against my locker as I put the letter back in the envelope.

Whoever he was, I wished he knew exactly what his words did for me every time I read them. If I ever found him, I would make sure he knew every day exactly how much he meant to me.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

The podiums were set up at the front of the room with five chairs behind each one. Rosalie and I occupied two and our three principle researchers sat in the other three. We were going over our evidence one final time before the bell rang and Mrs. Martin called the class to order.

"All right everyone, today's debate will be the last of this semester. You have all progressed throughout the term and have done an amazing job with each topic given. The next two days before your winter break will be spent reviewing everything you've learned and taking your final exam." The collective groan made Mrs. Martin chuckle. "Now, now, study your terminology, debate procedure and etiquette, and you'll be fine."

She added a few more things and I took a couple of breaths to clear my head. We were about ready to start and I was up first.

Mrs. Martin moved turned to the ten of us at the front of the room. "Everyone ready?"

There were nods all around before she walked to the center of the room to sit in one of the desks where she would act as moderator.

"We will begin with the affirmative," she announced. "Give your introductions and then you will have five minutes to present your case."

Mrs. Martin set her clock, facing it in our direction so we could see the time. Then she waved her hand at us to begin.

I stepped to the podium to introduced Rosalie and myself and stated our position. I then went on to list the points we intended to make in our argument. Once I was finished, Angela stepped up to do the same for her team.

Mrs. Martin pressed the button to start the clock just as Angela and I stepped back and Rosalie and Edward took our places.

"Good afternoon," Rosalie began. "While it is not a popular religious belief, normal societal behavior has promoted sex before marriage for the past sixty years. Examples of this belief can be seen everywhere; from movies and television, books, advertisements, and in some cases, even in our own families."

She sounded great, bold and completely confident in what she was saying. Listening to her conviction gave me the courage I needed to get up and do my part. We had this down and I was ready to match Rosalie's strength with my own.

We had everything timed perfectly and Rosalie made her last two points as I watched the clock run down to zero.

"Thank you Miss Hale," Mrs. Martin said to her before turning to Edward. "Mr. Cullen you have three minutes to prepare your rebuttal and five to present."

I had looked in his direction enough to know that Edward had taken a ton of notes while Rosalie was speaking. He already had his points down and was now working with Angela to fit some new ideas into his argument.

When his three minutes were up, Mrs. Martin called him back to the podium and Edward began to speak.

"While Miss Hale has made some excellent points, sex before marriage is immoral and fundamentally wrong."

"Ha!" The noise left my mouth before I could stop it.

Edward stiffened a little before he continued.

"The majority of the female population justifies the practice by saying they have sex to know what they're getting before they marry. The male population's justification is a little simpler than that, using the phrase 'try it before you buy it.'"

"You should know," I mumbled with disgust.

Edward's head turned slightly and I saw his narrowed eyes. It was the only acknowledgment I received before he moved on to his next point.

"Sex carries with it some heavy emotional issues. There are people out there who cannot separate the emotional aspect from the act itself…"

"Unlike you," I muttered.

"…and when a relationship comes to an end, it could cause serious emotional damage. In some cases, sex results in an unwanted pregnancy for a couple that never intended to remain together in the first place, leaving that child with a broken home.

"In today's society, most relationships in our lives are fleeting."

"Yeah, weeks." I pressed my lips together, trying not to laugh.

"Some may be longer than others but if a couple hasn't made that marital commitment, sex and the emotional issues it carries with it should never come into the relationship."

"Whatever," I said and Rosalie elbowed me in the ribs.

"Knock it off," she said through her teeth.

I shrugged. She was lucky I'd been able to hold in my laughter while every hypocritical word left his mouth.

"Society as a whole may not scoff at the idea now as it did in the 1940's or 1950's, but the practice itself – then and now – is destructive to the sanctity of marriage. Looking at the issue from a religious standpoint, there are five key words that prove that the practice is wrong." He paused. "Thou shall not commit adultery. Adultery in the biblical sense is the act of lusting after or having sex with someone who is not your spouse. If a couple has no intention to be married, they are essentially sleeping with another man's wife or another woman's husband, taking with them the one pure thing a person can give to their spouse."

"Oh please." I rolled my eyes.

Edward turned on me with anger in his eyes. "What the hell is your problem!"

"Me?" I said in shock, like I was the one with the problem.

"Yes you! I let you and Rose have your time and you can't shut your mouth long enough to let me have five minutes."

"Shut my…" was all I could say before he lashed out at me again.

"That's right, your mouth. You know, the one that's been running from the second I started speaking!" he yelled. "You may not like what I have to say, Bella, but you will damn well give me the same respect I gave you."

"Mr. Cullen… Miss Swan," Mrs. Martin said but I ignored her.

"Respect! You want respect," I laughed at the idea, "when every hypocritical word that leaves your mouth makes me want to vomit."

Rose tugged on my arm as I jumped out of my seat. I shook her off and stepped closer to Edward.

"You're such a two-faced liar, Edward!"

"You're going to stand there and call _me_ a liar? Are you kidding me?" He pointed a finger in my face. "_You_ don't know a thing about me!"

"I know _all_ there is to know about you, Edward." I pushed his hand away from my face. "Hell, I'm surprised you kept your pants on long enough to even do your research or did you make Angela do it all for you."

"Bella, that's enough." Rosalie pulled on my arm again but I shook her off.

"Miss Swan!" Mrs. Martin's voice sounded in the background but I barely heard it.

"Kept _my _pants on! Really, Bella. You have the nerve to call _me_ a hypocrite and a liar." He laughed for a fraction of a second before a hateful glare fixed on me. "You're the one who sits on her high fucking horse judging me based on the lies you were told by the _boy_ who made you look like a pathetic fool for nearly a year."

That comment knocked all the air out of me and ripped my heart right out of my chest.

"_My pants_ were never the ones you had to worry about, Bella!" he yelled as he towered menacingly over me. "You would know that if you would have taken your head out of Jake's ass long enough to find out the truth!"

"Mr. Cullen!" Mrs. Martin yelled.

My hand stung from the slap that knocked Edward back a couple of steps. Through blurry eyes, I watched his head whip back in my direction as his hand covered his cheek. His eyes filled with remorse and he reached a hand out to me.

"I hate you!" I screamed as I ran from the room.

I heard Edward shouting my name behind me but I kept running. I pushed my way through the first set of doors I could find and ran into the parking lot. I had every intention of running straight home, but Edward was faster than me. He caught me as I tried to weave my way through the parked cars.

With one hand on my arm, he spun me to face him. "I'm sorry, Bella." His other hand clamped onto my other arm. "I never meant… I can't believe I said that to you. I'm so, so sorry. Please believe me."

I struggled to break his grasp. "Get off me," I shrieked.

"No! Not until you listen." He ducked to my eye level. "For once, Bella, please just listen to me."

"There's nothing you can..."

Edward's hand left my arm and covered my mouth, cutting off anything I had to say.

"Bella, just hear me out." His pleading eyes caught mine. I stopped fighting and he pulled his hand away. "I know what you think of me and I know why?" He exhaled. "Jake lied to you about so many things, Bella."

I cringed when he brought up Jacob again and he obviously noticed because I could see the agonized look on his face.

"God, I'm sorry I said what I did in there. I've been so frustrated and hurt and angry for so long that when you accused me of being a liar on top of everything else, I just lost it. I never should have yelled at you like that. I never should have called you that. That's not me, Bella."

"What do you want from me, Edward?" I snapped at him. "You think I'm just going to take your word for it? After everything, do you think you deserve it?"

His hands shot into his hair and he growled.

"Can't you see that's our problem? I know I deserve it, but you've believed all the lies and you've never once given me the chance to show you what's real."

Edward's hands were back on my arms again, bending in front of me to look me in the eyes.

"We need to talk, and I mean _really _talk. Just you and me, no interruptions and no distractions. You need the truth and I'll give you that. I just want to finally get everything out in the open." Edward slid his hands down to grab mine. "Give me a chance, Bella, please."

I watched his eyes flicker between mine, begging me to say yes. I just couldn't give him that. I pulled my hands away from his.

"I can't do this anymore." Shaking my head, I said all I needed to say. "I'm done with you, Edward."

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

I did my best to avoid Alice and Rosalie for the next two days. I never answered my phone and only gave vague answers to their texts. I rushed to and from classes so they didn't have time to catch me alone and I spent my lunch hours in the classroom with Mr. Collins. He, of course, knew I was hiding something, but he thankfully never brought it up.

Standing in my kitchen Friday night, I thought I was safe. School was out for winter break and I didn't have to play Mission Impossible every time I walked around a corner, hoping to avoid the two people determined to make my life hell for the way I ended things with Edward.

Of course, that's what I thought before I heard the front door slam shut and Rosalie screaming my name at the top of her lungs until she found me.

"You have nowhere to hide now that your dad's gone, Bella." She got in my face. "Now what the fuck is your problem?"

"What are you talking about?" I tried to play dumb but I could see by the fire in her eyes that she wasn't buying it.

"Don't give me your bullshit, Bella. Jake is finally out of the way and Edward is begging to talk to you but you're acting like a stubborn, selfish bitch and won't give him the time of day. And why…because of some ridiculous lie that Jake told you. Haven't his lies caused you enough problems already?"

I gasped. I was used to Alice yelling at me like that, but never Rose. She was always the understanding type, supporting the choices I made. She may not have always agreed with them but she at least supported them.

"Did you seriously just call me a bitch?" I asked, not knowing what else to say.

"You're damn right I did! I've watched you put that poor boy through hell for the last year and I refuse to do it anymore," she said angrily as her eyes burned holes through me.

My anger sparked. "Me! What about what he's done?"

"Jesus, you just don't get it, do you?" she yelled. "He hasn't done a damn thing."

"Are you kidding me?" My voice echoed off the walls. "What about…?"

"Forget it! Just fucking forget it!"

She reached into her pocket, pulled out a piece of paper and slammed it on the table.

"I'm done arguing with your stubborn ass." The fire in her eyes kept me silent as she raised her pointed finger at me. "I don't know what the hell is going on in that messed up head of yours but you better get over it pretty fucking fast." Her finger moved to point at the paper. "He's going to be there tomorrow, waiting for you. And I swear to God, Bella, if you don't show up…" She left the sentence hanging and turned to leave.

Speechless and frozen in place, I watched her back as she walked away from me. As she reached the doorway to the kitchen, her head whipped around and her eyes bore into me again.

"If you're that stupid, Bella, then you really _don't _deserve him."

I jumped when the front door slammed closed. The noise brought me to my senses and my anger filled me again. Running after her, I yanked the door open.

"You bitch!" I screamed as she closed Emmett's car door behind her.

She glared at me as the car drove away.

I threw the door closed as hard as I could, not caring if I broke something.

"Fucking bitch!" I yelled at the closed door.

Replaying the last sentence in my head, I stomped back into the kitchen to finish fixing my salad.

My fingers wrapped around the handle of the knife.

"Who the fuck does she think she is?" I yelled as I embedded the knife in the head of lettuce.

I wiggled the knife a little to pull it back out.

"_I _don't deserve _him_!" I shouted as I swung the knife again, getting it stuck in a different place.

"He fucks anything that moves," I pulled back and swung the knife again, "and _I'm _the one who doesn't deserve _him_!"

"Well fuck you Rosalie Hale!"

The last swing of the knife sent the lettuce flying off the counter. Completely frustrated, I screamed and threw the knife into the sink.

When I turned to pick up the mess on the floor, my eyes fell on the paper Rosalie left behind.

"And fuck you too Edward Cullen!"

I snatched the paper off the table and nearly threw it away, but even through my anger, my fingers betrayed me and unfolded it.

_Bella_

_I'm so sorry. I don't know how to make any of this up to you. I just want a chance to talk and tell you the truth about everything. Please give me a chance to tell you my side._

_I'll be at RJ's tomorrow at noon. Will you please meet me there so we can talk?_

_I'll be waiting,_

_Edward_

Standing alone in my kitchen, I read his note three more times before I crumbled it up and threw it in the trash.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

Saturday morning, I woke with a headache and eyes so swollen I could barely see. I had cried myself to sleep last night, feeling like I didn't have anyone to turn to.

Alice's parents whisked her off to LA for the holiday. Rosalie was pissed off at me after yesterday and my dad was gone for the weekend. I refused to call Jacob and cry on his shoulder again. That pain was still too fresh in my mind to deal with.

Feeling hurt and alone, I pulled the covers over my head and drifted back to sleep.

Waking up later, a haunting voice from my dream came back to me.

'_Feel my arms around you, Bella. I'm always with you.'_

He'd written those words to me so many times in the past few months. I couldn't get them out of my head. I wrapped my arms around my chest as I thought about him and my mind worked to fill in the blanks again as I remembered my dream.

In my dreams, he was always with me, standing behind me with his arms wrapped around me while he whispered loving words into my ear. I loved the feeling of him just being there. The dreams were perfect; I only wished I could have seen his face. It was the one detail my mind never gave me.

I would be patient though. I didn't know what kept him from telling me his name or who he was, but whatever it was, I didn't care. I would wait for him to be ready no matter how long it took.

Rolling over, I pulled his last letter from my nightstand. I read his words again, feeling the comfort they always gave me. My finger slid over the words and rested over the word 'beautiful.' He thought I was beautiful.

My eyes scanned the letter again and I got a nagging feeling in my chest. Something wasn't right. Throwing the covers back, I walked to the dresser and pulled the rest of the hidden letters from my drawer, taking them back to my bed with me.

I opened and read each one slowly, taking in his words. The more I read, though, the worse the feeling got. There was something seriously wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

The second time through, I didn't bother putting them back in their envelopes. I had all sixteen letters spread out on the bed in front of me, my eyes searching for the meaning behind the ache in my chest.

My free hand rubbed my chest as the other picked up letter after letter so I could read them again. I lost count of how many times I read his words but I couldn't find any hidden meaning behind them. Nothing that could explain why just looking at them now bothered me so much.

Feeling another headache coming on, I decided to let it go. His words were sweet, beautiful and loving. I shouldn't have been looking for any other meaning behind them. They told me he cared about me and that was all I needed to know.

Not wanting to sit around anymore, I grabbed some clothes and headed for the shower. I took my time, letting the hot water relax me and wash away any worry I was feeling. When I stepped out, I wrapped myself in a towel so I could comb through my hair and braid it. Once that was done, I hung my towel and started to get dressed.

I stepped out feeling refreshed, ready to start a new day. The nagging feeling wasn't quite as noticeable as I moved through my normal routine. Walking back into my room, however, my feet cemented themselves to the floor when I saw all the letters lying on my bed.

"No." My eyes grew wide as my mind put the pieces together. "Can't be."

My hand flew to my chest as the ache came back in full force. I ran downstairs as fast as I could and flipped the trashcan over when I reached the kitchen. The lettuce from the night before spilled all over the floor again as I reached for the crumpled piece of paper.

I recognized the handwriting immediately. They were all the same; sixteen letters and one note all written by Edward Cullen.

Staring at the paper, one word caught my eye. Edward wanted to meet me at noon. My neck cracked as my head whipped towards the clock on the wall.

"No!" I yelled as I read the display – two-fifteen.

I was halfway up the stairs before I realized I had moved. In my room, I slipped my shoes on, grabbed my cell phone and instantly started dialing.

I didn't have a car or my license and it would take me thirty minutes to get to RJ's by bus. He was my only option. I was out the door before the voice on the other end answered.

"Sam, I need a ride."

"Bella?" He sounded confused.

"I'll be at your house in a few minutes. Sam, please," I begged.

I must have sounded desperate because he agreed right away. I flipped the phone closed and ran as fast as my legs would carry me, hoping to God I wasn't too late.

* * *

**Was Edward too harsh? Possibly, but he was finally pushed to his limit and he exploded. Was Rosalie too mean? Maybe, but she finally got sick of the way Bella was treating Edward. Bella finally got the slaps in the face that she's needed for quite some time. And it seems to have done some good as she runs off to find Edward. It's about damn time, too.**

**Thanks for sticking with me and remember, leave me a little something to tell me what you think. Until next time…much love to you - D**


	31. Hoping For A Miracle

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.**

**Thanks as always to my beta AgoodWITCH for all of the input, great comments and overall support on my stories. I love you so much.**

* * *

**Chapter 31 – Hoping For A Miracle**

**EPOV**

"Calm down, Ed," Emmett growled as he punched my bouncing leg. "She'll be there."

I'd been driving Emmett crazy since Wednesday night. He had listened when I told him about the fight I had with Bella during our debate that day and then he kicked my ass for making her cry. Then he defended me against Rose when she stormed into our house ready to kill me for saying the awful things I did, and he kept quiet after every complaint I made when Bella refused to talk to me again at school.

After all of that, he was still encouraging me. I loved my brother for always standing behind me even when I didn't deserve it and after last week, I definitely didn't.

Nervously rubbing my hands on my jeans, I asked, "What if she's not, Em? What if it really is too late and she won't talk to me?"

"Edward, stop freaking out." He punched my leg again. "Remember what you told me on Monday?"

My forehead creased. I was too stressed out to remember back to Monday. Obviously sensing I was lost, Emmett explained.

"Bella crying on your shoulder in the library?"

"Oh right." He rolled his eyes.

"She wouldn't have let you anywhere near her like that if she hated you," he explained. "She likes you, bro. You two just need your time alone for her to realize it."

"She doesn't want to give me that chance, Emmett. I should just give it up. I'm bordering on pathetic here."

"I've seen how she looks at you, Ed." He sat up straight, turning to me. "Remember Alice's party?" he asked and I nodded. "I followed Bella so I could apologize for teasing her and I saw you two together."

He paused, looking like he had more to say. When he didn't offer any more, I spoke up.

"And your point is?"

He shook his head. "Look Ed, I really like Rosie and I know she likes me too, but she's never looked at me like that."

"I remember. It was the only good thing that happened at that party. But it didn't matter, she stayed with Jake," I reminded him.

"And now they're broken up," he stated plainly.

"And now, after our fight, she hates me even more." I sighed, throwing myself against the back of the couch. "She's not gonna show up."

"Look, take my car, drive down to that restaurant, order yourself a burger and wait. She'll be there."

I wished I had his confidence. The fact was, when it came to girls, I never did. I always felt so awkward and nervous and now, with Bella, I felt like I wasn't good enough.

I exhaled heavily. "I hope so."

"Now, you better get going before you're late yourself."

Looking at the clock, I realized I only had fifteen minutes to get there. I thanked God Emmett was nice enough to let me borrow his car because if I was still riding the bus, I wouldn't have a chance of making it on time.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

By the time I pulled into the parking lot, I could barely catch my breath. I was so nervous my hands were even shaking. This wasn't normal, not like me at all. But with Bella, it was as if I had no confidence at all. Things had gotten so messed up between us and I was terrified that things had already been ruined beyond repair.

This was my last chance. If I couldn't get her to listen to me today, to finally hear the truth, then I was done. As much as I would hate it, I would have to accept that there was nothing left to hold on to. But that was if she showed up.

Taking a few last calming breaths, I stepped out of the car and headed into the restaurant. Saturday at noon probably wasn't the best time to plan this little meeting of ours as the restaurant was packed. Knowing what she thought of me, I wanted to meet somewhere in public so she wouldn't have a chance to question my intentions.

As I looked around the full restaurant, I was kicking myself for not thinking and choosing a place where we could at least get a table.

"Edward."

My back stiffened as I heard my name, thanking God that Bella actually showed up. When I turned, my heart sunk as my eyes landed on Angela, holding a tray full of food.

"Angela…hey," I mumbled, a little disappointed. "I didn't know you worked here."

"Yeah, it's only been about a month now, but I like it here." She grinned. "Let me go drop off this food and I'll take you to your table."

"What?" I shook my head, not sure I heard her right.

She laughed. "Rose called me last night and told me you would be here, so I reserved a table for you."

If Rose was there, I would've kissed her. I couldn't believe she would do such a thing for me. She'd been more than furious with me since the day of the debate and I nearly had to get on my knees and beg her to deliver the note I wrote for Bella asking her to meet me here. Of course, I was sure she didn't do it out of the kindness of her heart. I would bet everything I owned to say that Emmett had a hand in convincing her. I honestly didn't care why, she did it and I was grateful.

Startled a bit by a touch to my arm, I refocused on Angela's smiling face.

"You ready for this," she asked.

"God I hope so." I exhaled as I followed her to a table near the back.

Angela placed a couple of menus on the table as I sat down. There was no way I could eat anything. All I asked for was a glass of water, anything else would have been too much for my nervous stomach to handle.

The table was perfect. I had a view of the front of the restaurant so I was able to see the second Bella got there. I looked at my watch – five after twelve. It was only five minutes. I couldn't expect her to show up exactly on time, could I? I knew she still rode the bus to get around so she would be on their time.

With my eyes focused on the front door, I jumped when I heard the glass hit the table.

"Thanks," I muttered as I reached for the water.

I didn't realize how bad my hands were shaking until I held the small glass and saw the movement of the water. Draining the glass quickly, I set it back down on the table just as Angela's hand gripped my shoulder. I looked up to see her glancing over her shoulder and then back at me.

She grabbed my shaking hand as she slid onto the bench next to me. "She'd be a fool not to show up, Edward."

"She hates me, Ang," I said, using the name I'd grown used to using while we studied together.

I looked at my watch again – eight minutes after twelve.

"I was stupid for thinking…for hoping she would come. I should just go." I started to move but she refused to budge.

"Edward, stop. She'll be here." Her hand was back in mine. "Rose told me about all the things you believe Jake told Bella about you and I can understand why she feels the way she does. But once she sees how great you really are she's gonna love you, Edward."

Pulling my hand from hers, I rubbed both of them nervously on my pants.

"I wish I had your confidence."

"Bella and I may not have been the best of friends before but I saw the way Jake treated her. You're a good guy, Edward. She needs someone like you."

Angela looked toward the front of the restaurant and hurried to stand up.

"Just be honest with her, Edward. Take things slow and have a little faith in her. She just might surprise you."

She left me alone as she went back to work. Angela had become a good friend over the last few months and I was suddenly glad to have her on my side.

I turned my attention back to the window, hoping to see Bella, but saw nothing. Checking my watch again, only five minutes had passed. It already seemed like forever and if she didn't show up soon I was going to go crazy.

Angela had been by the table to check on me often, filling my glass with more water each time. I'd been back and forth to the restroom several times with all the water I'd been drinking and each time I returned to an empty table.

When I sat down this time, I checked my watch again. It was almost one-thirty. I'd been waiting for an hour and a half with nothing to show for it. No Bella…no hope. I blew out a deep breath and realized that it was finally time to give up. Any chance I would have had with Bella was gone.

Even if they weren't together anymore, Jake still got his wish. I remembered the words he'd said to me the day we were all looking for Bella after she ran away from me. He had told me that she would never want anything to do with me. He was right.

'_How does it feel to lose?' _he'd asked me. It wasn't even a concept I'd considered at the time. I was sure that all it would take was for us to talk. If I could have just gotten her alone.

Why hadn't I just done it? Why didn't I just grab her, sit her down and make her listen? That answer was easy. I was always afraid to make her hate me. Nothing I'd done made a difference, though, because she hated me anyway. The fact that I'd been sitting alone for the past hour and a half was proof of Bella's true feelings for me.

_How does it feel, Jake? It feels like fucking shit. I hope you're happy._

With one last look out the window, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed.

"Hey Em," I said when he answered, hearing the ache in my voice. "I'm just letting you know I'll be home soon."

"_You okay, Ed?"_ His voice was full of concern. He knew.

"No." That one word said enough. "See you at home."

I hung up before he could say anything else. The last thing I needed now was his sympathy. Just before I could get up from the table, a plate with a burger and fries slid in front of me. Angela took the space across from me with her own plate of food.

"Break time." She sounded relieved.

"I'm not hungry, Ang." My voice had no life to it.

"You need to eat. Besides, I know you won't let me waste my hard earned money on something you won't eat." She winked at me. "Have lunch with me, Edward."

Her tone was demanding and I knew she wouldn't let me say no. I also knew she did it on purpose to keep me from leaving.

She took a bite of her own burger, chewing slowly while raising an eyebrow at me. I picked up a french fry and took a bite. The thing tasted like cardboard but I was giving Angela what she wanted. The sooner she was happy, the sooner I could leave and end this miserable day.

She was finishing her second bite when she finally spoke. "You can't give up already."

I dropped the fry back on the plate. "What's the point, Ang? It's almost two o'clock. Isn't her answer obvious?"

"You don't know that. It really hasn't been that long. She could still show up." She sounded hopeful but I didn't share in her optimism.

"I can't keep doing this, Ang." I swallowed hard. "I want to be with her, that's no secret. But I can't keep chasing her. I mean…look at me. I've been sitting in this booth for the last two hours like a pathetic fucking loser, waiting for a girl who has made it perfectly fucking clear that there never has been and never will be anything between us." My voice cracked on the last word.

_Us_. I'd carried the idea of 'us' around with me for more than a year. I'd almost always had hope and when I didn't either Alice, Rose or Emmett were always there to tell me what a mistake it would've been to give up. Jasper was the only one to tell me to be careful and to tell me the truth that it just might not happen. I should've fucking listened because he was right.

There never was an 'us.' Jake made sure of that and I'd let him.

"Edward, don't…" Angela's voice brought me back to the conversation, but I didn't want to hear anymore.

It was getting harder and harder to hold it together and if I didn't get out of here, I was going to lose it. I would've proved exactly how pathetic I was by crying in a restaurant full of people.

"No, Ang. I'm done." I sunk back into the bench, hanging my head back over the edge and pulling at my hair. "I've been waiting for her since her birthday last year. Jesus, I didn't even live here then."

I looked up to see Angela's wide eyes. She had stopped eating, obviously surprised at my admission. I spent the next twenty minutes explaining the whole story and the longer I went on, the more pity I could see in her eyes.

I didn't want her to feel sorry for me. I'd done this to myself. I was the one who couldn't let go. I was the one who had tried and tried even when there was no hope. I was even stupid enough to give up on Kate simply because Bella looked at me and smiled. This whole thing was my fault and now I was suffering for it.

Thankfully, Angela's break was finally over. She had asked one of the other girls to bring her a box for the food I didn't eat, telling me that I should eat it when I got home but knowing I probably wouldn't. I would just give it to Emmett.

When the food was boxed up, Angela stood up and came to my side of the table. She hugged me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. You don't deserve any of this," she said quietly.

"It's okay, Ang." I shrugged. "Besides, it's Christmas break. I have two weeks to get over it before I have to see her again, right? I can do that."

It took everything in me not to cry, so when I tried to smile, there was no emotion behind it. The concern on her face told me she saw right through me.

"I'm here if you ever need to talk. Just call me, okay." Her arms tightened around me for a quick second before she had to let me go and get back to work.

As I watched her walk away, it dawned on me that had I not been here, she would have made some money from other customers to use this table. She would leave here today with less money than she would have normally earned and it was my fault. That thought made me feel worse than I already did. So I pulled out my wallet and threw the forty dollars my mom gave me for today onto the table before I left.

_At least I can do right by someone today._

The drive back to the house was tough. I didn't want to cry over some girl. I wanted to be a man and just suck it up and not let it bother me. But the second I was alone in the car, it was all too much. The pain of losing Bella – well giving up on Bella was more like it, because you couldn't lose what you never had – broke me down and I cried the whole way home.

I sat in the driveway for a few minutes, trying to clean myself up so Emmett wouldn't give me too tough a time when I walked in. When I was ready, I grabbed the box of food and walked into the house.

Emmett was on the couch where he'd been when I left. Wanting to get to my room as fast as I could, I put the box on the end table with his keys and hurried to leave the room.

"Edward," he called after me and, again, I could hear the pity in his voice.

Unable to look my big brother in the eye, I just lifted my hand to dismiss him. "Later, Em."

In seconds, my bedroom door slammed behind me as I threw myself on the bed and let everything go.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

**BPOV**

"Sam," I yelled as I pounded on his door. "Sam!"

The door swung open and Emily was standing in front of me.

"Hey, Bella. Sam's mom needed him so he'll be out in just a minute." She put on her coat and stepped onto the porch with me. "What's going on? Is everything okay?"

Concern was written all over face, but I wasn't sure what I should tell her. I had a feeling that running around like a crazy person and practically demanding a ride just so I could get to Edward wasn't going to go over well with her. She liked Jake and was always one to encourage our relationship. I couldn't tell her that I was desperate to go meet another guy.

My problem was that I wasn't going to get to keep it a secret. Sam was going to want to know what was so urgent and he wasn't going to let me get away without an answer, especially since my destination wouldn't seem so important when I told him where I was going.

Without answering her question, I hurried to the car to wait. She, of course, followed me.

"Bella, talk to me." Emily laid a hand on my arm. "I can tell something's really wrong."

I opened my mouth to answer but I didn't know what to say. She wrapped me up in a hug and held me for a second before backing away to catch my eyes.

"Please tell me Jake didn't do something else to hurt you." She sounded a little angry when she said it.

I was surprised, not expecting her thoughts to go there.

"No," I answered. "I haven't talked to Jake."

"Is it your dad? Alice?" A little bit of panic set in.

"No they're fine." I started to feel guilty for making her worry.

"We're all fine but I have to hurry. I have to get there before he leaves." The words rushed out before I realized what I was saying.

"He? He who? What are you talking about, Bella?"

To my left, I heard the door close and saw Sam coming toward us.

"Hurry, Sam. Please, I have to hurry."

When he reached the car, Sam's hands covered my shoulders. "Bella, slow down and tell me what's going on."

I pushed up the sleeve of my coat and looked at my watch. "I'm so late. Can't we just go?"

Understanding crossed his face. "Okay. Where to?"

He let me go and started walking around the car.

"RJ's," I said quietly.

"Damn it, Bella." Sam stopped dead in his tracks and turned back to me. "You got us up just to take you to a damn restaurant. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Sam." Emily's clipped tone got Sam's attention.

He put a hand up to her to stop her from saying anything more.

"No Em," he said to her before turning back to me. "You call for a ride in a panic like this is some sort of emergency. Here I am thinking something happened to your dad, Alice or even Jake because I can't for the life of me think of anything else that would make you so frantic and all you want to do is go to a restaurant."

I shrunk back from him. He was pissed. I knew he was going to want an explanation but I didn't expect him to get so angry about it.

"I'm sorry I called you. I would have taken the bus, but I need to get there fast. Please just listen when I say that it is important. Maybe not to you or anyone else but it's important to me."

He narrowed his eyes at me. He didn't need to ask the question. My eyes went directly to his shoes, not wanting to see the look on his face when I confessed.

"I'm going to meet Edward." My voice was so quiet I didn't know if he heard me.

"Edward Cullen?" Emily's surprised voice came first. "Bella, do you really think you should do that? You and I both know what he's like."

"Bella," Sam's voice lost all its anger, "I don't know…he's not…you can't trust him, Bella."

"No! You're wrong. You don't understand." I threw my hands up in exasperation. "Hell, I don't even understand, but I know there's a part of him that doesn't fit with everything we know…or think we know about him. What if we're wrong?"

I thought about the first time I'd met him. That was the Edward that drew me in; sweet and sensitive and caring, with so much heart that he would help to comfort a girl who cried her eyes out all over his shirt. He was the one I'd dreamed about all those months before he moved here. He was the one who showed up at my swim meet last year to cheer me on. He was the one with me at Alice's party. He was the one who held me while I cried again over losing Jacob. He was the one who made me care about him with his letters. He was the one I wanted. And if I believed his letters, that Edward was still there and he cared about me too.

"And what if we're not, Bella. I won't let him hurt you."

"He won't, Sam." His eyebrows shot up in disbelief. "Please. I can explain on the way. I just have to get there."

I checked my watch again. It was after was three o'clock. In his letters, Edward told me over and over again that he cared about me and I hoped that it was enough and he would still be there. I prayed that he would still be there.

"He's waiting for me, Sam, please," I begged.

Sam looked to Emily, who was shaking her head no, and then back to me. I mouthed the word please, hoping he would give in. He looked back and forth between us again, not knowing what to do.

"Okay, Bella," he finally said, "but I'm not leaving you alone with him."

"Fine. Let's just go, please." The three of us got into the car and headed to the restaurant.

On the way there, I explained to Sam and Emily about the first time I'd met Edward, the way I felt when he came back and the things I'd heard and seen while we were at school. That part didn't help their opinion of him at all but when I started explaining about the letters and poems he'd written to me, it seemed they might be changing their minds.

When we pulled into the parking lot, Sam didn't bother to park.

"Do you want us to stay, Bella?" he asked.

"Do I have a choice?"

"I don't know if I trust him, but I do trust you. If you think he's worth all of this, then I'll believe you."

I leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "I think he's worth it, Sam. I'll be fine. I promise," I said as I jumped out of the car.

I ran through the door, stopping just past the cashier's desk so I could scan the tables. At first glance, I didn't see him and I was just about to walk to the back when my arm was pulled hard enough to turn me around.

"Angela." My voice was louder than it should have been but I was shocked. I had forgotten she worked here.

"We need to talk."

She turned and told the cashier that she would be right back before leading me back out the door and around the side of the building.

"Bella, where have you been?" she asked, her voice full of concern.

By the look on her face, she knew exactly what was going on and why I was here.

"I wasn't going to come, Ang," I confessed. "I didn't know it was him. When I figured it out, I got here as fast as I could. He said he would wait. He was supposed to wait." I was rambling.

"He did wait." She had tears in her eyes. "More than two hours. He left about forty-five minutes ago and he was so…"

"Oh God," I groaned. "Please tell me he wasn't mad at me."

"He was heartbroken," she said, sadly. "He thinks you hate him, Bella."

"I did…or I thought I did." I leaned against the wall with my arms wrapped around my chest. "I don't know, Ang. Everything is so confusing. I thought he was with those girls and Jake told me that he wanted me to be next and I couldn't, and I thought he wanted…and I…"

I broke down into tears, unable to finish a sentence. Angela pulled me into a hug and I cried on her shoulder. She tried to soothe me and as soon as my tears slowed, she pulled away from me. She had her own tears in her eyes as if this was hurting her too.

"Bella, he knows what Jake told you," she told me. "Please tell me you don't believe that."

Ashamed, I dropped my eyes to the ground and a nod was the only response I could give her.

"Oh honey, you are so wrong about him." She took a deep breath. "Look at me, Bella," she ordered.

Lifting my head, my teary eyes connected with her concerned ones.

"Edward told me everything today. He told me about Jessica, Lauren and all the others and he also told me that _nothing_," she emphasized the word, "absolutely nothing happened with them. I'm not going to lie to you, they wanted to be with him but he couldn't do it."

My eyes dropped again.

"He wanted you, Bella. He's always wanted you." My head snapped back up. She continued. "He told me about the notes he would leave for you."

"Why didn't he tell _me_?" I asked, finally able to speak. "He never signed any of them. I never knew who was…"

"He was scared," she answered slowly. "You already thought he was an asshole."

She held up her hands just as I was about to say something.

"His word, not mine," she said when I glared at her. "Anyway, he knew what you thought of him and he was afraid that if you knew it was him, you would never accept those either."

"I probably wouldn't have," I admitted, turning away from her.

"Don't you see? It was the only way he could feel close to you and tell you how he felt about you without getting yelled at or slapped or whatever else you did to him to prove how much you hated him."

When she put it out there like that, I felt horrible. I had treated him so badly for so long and he'd done nothing to deserve it.

"I ran to my locker every day hoping to find one," I said absently. "I always knew there was something up with Jake, that he would leave me eventually. When the letters started coming, I stopped caring whether Jake would leave me or not. I didn't know who it was but I really liked him. It was so weird. He understood me and always knew the right things to say to make me happy when I wasn't, give me courage when I needed it, or to just tell me he cared and that he was with me."

I turned back to her, looking her right in the eye.

"I wanted that," I told her. "I wanted to find him and tell him that I cared about him too. If I'd only known…" I let my words trail off.

"Well, now you do." Her voice softened. "He's hurting so much right now, Bella. Go to him and tell him how you feel. He's waited for you since the first day he laid eyes on you. Tell him that he didn't wait for nothing."

I jumped at her, wrapping my arms around her neck. "Thank you," I whispered.

I let her go and ran towards the street.

"Bella, wait," she called after me. I turned. "I have his address inside."

Finally having something to smile about, I answered, "That's okay, Ang. I know exactly where I'm going."

* * *

**Gah, poor Edward, this day did not go anything like he planned. He's hurting so much and he believes it's really over between him and Bella. Thank God for Angela, though. She finally did what no one else would do. She forced Bella to listen. Now Bella is running to get to Edward, but is she already too late.**

**Thanks for sticking with me and remember, leave me a little something to tell me what you think. Until next time…much love to you - D**


	32. Clearing The Air

**Disclaimer: The great Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I'm just using her amazing characters to tell you a story.**

**Thanks as always to my beta AgoodWITCH for all of the input, great comments and overall support on my stories. I love you so much.**

**Also, I have to give another huge thank you to shelikesthesound for her beta work on this chapter and for saving me for me this week. You are the best, darlin. I love you with all my heart. (If you haven't read her stories yet, you are truly missing out. They are AMAZING!)**

**A/N: I'm starting off this chapter with a little treat for you. We all know what Edward's been going through in this story. How about we get a little insight into what Emmett's been feeling? Is he really as supportive as Edward wants to believe? Let's find out, shall we.**

* * *

**Chapter 32 – Clearing The Air**

**EMPOV**

"Hey gorgeous." I smiled as I answered the phone.

"_Hi sexy. What are you up to today?"_ Rose asked.

"Nothin' much right now." I shrugged. "Just waiting for Edward to get home and then…"

"_He's still not back yet?"_ she interrupted. _"Do you think they're finally working things out?"_

"I hope so. I can't stand seeing him so depressed. He's not himself anymore."

"_I'm sure it'll work out, Em. Now that he's finally telling her the truth, she'll realize how wrong she's been, and they can start over again."_

"I hope you're right. He's already on the edge, and I'm afraid that one push…"

My phone beeped as I got another call. Glancing at it quickly, I saw that it was Edward.

"Hold on, Rosie. Edward's calling." She said okay, and I pushed the button to answer. "Hey Bro, how's everything…?"

"_Hey Em,"_ he cut me off. _"I'm just letting you know I'll be home soon."_

He sounded awful, and I knew something went wrong.

"You okay, Ed?"

"_No. See you at home,"_ was all he said before hanging up.

"Son of a bitch," I said quietly as the phone beeped again, reminding me Rose was still on the line.

"Rose," I said as I clicked back to her.

"_So did they…"_

"I don't know what the fuck happened, but he sounded like shit," I growled, cutting her off. "I'm sorry, Rose, I know she's your fucking friend, but I swear to God when I see her again…"

"_Emmett, calm down. We don't even know what happened. Maybe she just…"_

"Just what?" I yelled at her. "She hurt him again, Rose. I fucking know she did, and I'm not putting up with this shit anymore!"

"_Don't you dare take this shit out on me, Emmett Cullen. I had nothing to do with this!"_

"Shit. I'm sorry, baby. I'm just so fed up with this bullshit. She doesn't give a fuck about him. It's about time he accepts it and moves the fuck on." I was yelling again.

I took a few deep breaths to calm down. The last thing I needed was to piss Rosie off over this shit. I apologized again for getting angry with her. She accepted but made sure I knew I couldn't yell at her and treat her like shit simply because I was pissed. I knew that, of course, and apologized again.

She and I talked for a little while longer before I heard the car door close outside.

"Hey, baby, Edward just got home. Let me call you back, okay?"

"_Sure, Em. I hope you were wrong before and things really are okay," _she said. _"Talk to you soon."_

I ended the call and tossed the phone on the couch just as Edward walked through the door.

His eyes were glued to the floor as he came into the living room. It didn't matter, though. He didn't have to look at me; it was obvious his eyes were red. It was worse than I'd originally thought.

Edward put the box in his hands on the table, dropped my keys on top of it and rushed to get out of the room.

"Edward," I called after him.

Whatever happened, he needed to talk about it, get it off his chest so he would feel better. No matter how much I wanted it, though, he dismissed me with a wave of his hand.

"Later, Em," was all he said.

He was quick to move up the stairs and, within seconds, his door slammed, echoing through the house.

Refusing to let him wallow, I ran up the stairs after him. I was just about to knock when I heard the cries coming from the other side of the door. It killed me to hear my brother cry.

Edward was strong in so many ways, but when it came to girls, he was too much like dad, sensitive and caring. He wore his heart on his sleeve and left himself wide open to get hurt. And it was more than obvious…she hurt him bad.

Anger filled me as I rushed down the stairs and grabbed my phone off the couch. Rosie picked up on the second ring.

"_Em, is everything alright?"_

"I hope she's finally fucking happy. Edward's in his room crying. My brother doesn't fucking cry, Rose," I shouted. "That girl better hope I don't see her face anytime soon, because I'm not Edward. I will tell her exactly what I think of her right now and let me warn you, she won't fucking like it."

"_God Em, I'm sorry."_

"Sorry isn't enough right now. Just keep that girl away from me!"

Rose stayed silent while I paced the living room, clenching and unclenching my fist. I tried to calm myself down before I said something to her I would regret. After a minute or two of silence, I realized it wasn't going to happen.

"Rose, I gotta go," I snapped at her.

"I know, baby. Try to calm down," she said with a quiet voice. "Call me later if you can. I love you."

I didn't know how long I paced the floor after she hung up, but I was finally able to get a grip on my anger. Now that I was a little more in control, I sat back down on the couch, head in my hands, trying to figure out how to get Edward to finally give up and let Bella go.

~..~..~..~..~..~..~..~

**BPOV**

It was nearly four-thirty when the bus came to a stop. I jumped out and ran the block and a half that would get me to Edward's street. My feet stopped cold when I turned the corner and saw his house. Now that I was there, I couldn't force myself to take another step.

What would I say to him after making him wait so long? Not only the hours he'd spent waiting for me today, but for the past year. I'd allowed myself to believe everything Jacob told me, making me too afraid to let Edward near me.

How could I possibly apologize for everything I'd put him through? The screaming, the yelling and, more importantly, the hitting. He'd walked around with a slightly bruised cheek on several occasions after I'd slapped him. I had acted too quickly before I'd had a chance to think about what I was doing.

How could I apologize for never giving him the chance to explain? Even when he begged me to listen? And how could I even begin to apologize for breaking his heart over and over again?

Remembering how Angela had described Edward, hurt and upset, when he'd left the restaurant, none of those questions mattered anymore. If he was hurt enough to give up, then nothing mattered. I couldn't let him do it.

My feet finally moved, and I was running again toward the house at the end of the block. Once I hit their porch, I took a second to catch my breath before I rang the bell. Too impatient to wait, I started knocking.

I heard grumbling on the other side of the door, but I couldn't make out the words. I stood there nervously bouncing from foot to foot as the door swung open.

"Bella." Emmett looked shocked to see me standing there.

"Emmett…hi, is Edward here?" I asked nervously. "I really need to talk to him."

I couldn't say I'd ever seen it before, but, standing in front of him now, I could swear Emmett was angry.

"No," he barked out the word. Yes, he was angry.

"Do you know where he is? When he'll be back?"

"I mean no, Bella, you can't talk to him."

The anger in his voice had me backing up a step. Even though we didn't really know each other, Emmett was always nice to me, always with a smile and teasing words. Now, I'd messed that up, and it looked like he hated me.

"Do you have _any_ idea how much you've hurt him?"

Even if he wanted an answer to the question, I couldn't have given him one. He continued before I could even open my mouth.

"My brother couldn't even look me in the eye when he came home. Do you think I like seeing him that way? Do you honestly think for one second, knowing what you did to him, I would let you anywhere near him? Think again, Bella."

"But I…"

"No!" He cut me off. "I'm done watching you play with him like he's nothing. I'm done watching you hurt him and not give a shit about it. And I'm done watching you rip his heart out and not care who picks up the pieces. He deserves better than that, and he deserves better than you."

He took a step toward me, and I backed off the porch. My chest ached as his hate-filled words pierced through my heart.

"Now leave, Bella, before you do more damage than you already have."

The door slammed shut, and I burst into tears. Edward had every right to hate me after everything I'd done to him, but I had no idea everyone else would hate me just as much or, in Emmett's case, maybe more.

Defeated, I turned to leave, but my legs wouldn't move. I knew Edward cared about me, his letters told me so. I needed to tell him I cared about him, too. I knew I'd hurt him countless times, and I needed to make up for that…if he would just talk to me.

I couldn't give up, not when I was so close. I jumped back onto the porch and banged on the door.

"Edward," I shouted his name. If he was home, he had to hear me. "Edward, please, I need to talk to you."

There was no answer. Using both fists, I pounded harder.

"Edward! Edward, I'm sorry. Please just talk to me," I yelled.

I pounded hard, even kicking the door a few times, hoping he would hear me.

"Edward, please talk to me," I screamed, my voice cracking on the last word.

My fists were hurting, and my arms were getting tired from beating on the door, but I wasn't giving up until he talked to me.

"Let go…" I heard his voice through the door.

He was right there. So close. Not caring about the pain in my hands, I pounded on the door with all my strength.

"…not letting you…" That was Emmett's voice.

He was still trying to keep Edward from me.

"Emmett, please," I yelled for him this time, "I just want to talk."

"She wants to…"

Edward's voice came through the door again, and I stopped, hoping to hear what they were saying.

"Let me go!" he yelled at Emmett.

"No! You don't need that girl, Ed. Just let her go."

Hearing Emmett's words, I tried the doorknob this time, desperate to get into that room and make him see how sorry I was for hurting Edward all those times in the past. It was locked, of course, so I started beating the door and yelling for both of them this time.

They were yelling at each other, and I heard Rose's name thrown around a couple of times. She had nothing to do with this, why would they be arguing about her?

"…are you gonna let that damn girl…" Emmett yelled again.

His words were so hurtful, and I tried as hard as I could to ignore them. I knew, right then, he hated me, and how could I blame him? I hated myself for everything I'd done to Edward. But I was here to make things right. To tell Edward I wanted to start over, if only _he_ would give _me_ a chance this time.

"Fine! Bella can go to hell!"

Edward's words stunned me. All the air left my lungs and I fell against the door when my legs gave out.

I believed he was fighting his brother to get to me, but I was wrong. He really didn't want me anymore. I wanted to call out to him again, but what was the point? I'd obviously hurt him too much and now, he really did hate me.

With my heartbeat pounding in my ears, I turned and ran from the house. I couldn't be there anymore. Any chance I had with Edward was gone.

I had just cleared their driveway when my phone started ringing. Stupidly I grabbed for it, praying it was Edward. When Angela's name lit up the screen, I remembered he didn't have my number. I slowed down a little as I answered.

"I'm too late, Ang," I choked out the only words that came to my mind.

"Oh Bella, no. He has to listen." She was sympathetic as always. "Let me call him. I'll…"

Barely able to catch my breath, I stopped her. "He hates me…said I could go to hell."

"I don't hate you, Bella."

Startled by the sound of Edward's voice, I stumbled. He tried to catch me, but I slipped right through his hands and fell to the ground. My knees hit first and I curled up into a tight ball, bracing myself just as my shoulder slammed into the concrete.

My cries were immediately drowned out by Edward's apologies.

"Oh God. I'm sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry." Edward was hovering over me, touching me softly. "Please be okay. Please be okay," he said over and over again.

He tried to get me to roll onto my back, but it hurt too much to move. I stayed in my little ball and cried.

I cried as the pain radiated in my shoulder and knees. I cried from the hurtful words Emmett had said, knowing he truly meant every one. I cried as the awful words Edward had said about me echoed in my head.

"Emmett," he yelled. "Emmett!"

He tried to turn me over again, but the sharp ache was too great, so I fought against him.

"Emmett, get out here!"

"What the hell d…" He was far away, but I could still hear him. "Bella!"

I heard the pounding of his feet against the cement as he got closer.

"What did you do?" Emmett growled at him.

"I didn't do anything." Edward defended himself. "She tripped. I couldn't catch her."

"Bella," Emmett's tone was quieter, more soothing. "I'm gonna pick you up, okay? We need to get you inside."

When I didn't answer, he slid his hands under me and lifted me slowly. I screamed as the pain shot through my shoulder and down my arm. Emmett apologized as he held me gently against his chest.

Before I knew it, Emmett lowered me onto the couch in their living room. I cried out from the shooting pain again as he let me go and helped me take my coat off. I hissed as he moved my arm around and touched my shoulder in a few places.

"You'll be all right, Bella," he said as he put my arm back down gently.

I was still crying when he left me alone on the couch, though, not as much. I heard water running from kitchen, but when it shut off, they were arguing again. Their voices were low, but I was still able to hear them.

"I don't care what you say," Edward growled.

"She's no good for you," Emmett said. "How many times does she have to hurt you before you see it?"

"If that's what she wanted, would she be here right now?"

"Sure, she's here now, but what happens when she sees you even talking to another girl and flips out? Or when Jake decides he wants her back? You don't think she'll go running? What will that do to you, Edward? Think about it."

I cringed at Emmett's words. After what Angela had said, I wasn't worried about other girls and things were over between Jake and me. Hopefully, I could make them both see that.

"It doesn't matter. She's here, Em. I have to take my chance."

His voice cracked, and I could finally hear the pain I'd caused him. His pain was the only thing that could make me feel worse than I already did.

"But Edward…"

"Would you give up if it was Rose?" There was no answer before Edward continued. "Then let me do this. I'll accept whatever comes, just let me talk to her."

Emmett must have agreed, because Edward came into the room and kneeled next to the couch. He placed two small bowls – one full of clear water and the other with clouded water – and a first aid kit on the floor. He dipped a washcloth into the cloudy water, rung out the excess and gently placed it against my knees through the tear in my pants.

The sting of the liquid touching the scrape on my knee made me jump, and he pulled the washcloth away quickly.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly before touching the cloth to my knee again.

I hissed when the sting hit me again, but he didn't remove it this time.

"When we were kids," he said absently, "Emmett and I would always go to my dad with scrapes and cuts, and he would mix up this stuff that always made the pain go away."

Using the clear water, he rinsed the blood and dirt off the washcloth before dipping it into the cloudy water once more and continuing to clean my knee.

"When we got older, he taught us how to make it so we could treat ourselves if he wasn't around." He spoke softly, maybe to keep from letting his emotions show.

"It stings," I said, wincing as he put more pressure on my knee.

"At first, but it'll feel better once the cuts are cleaned."

My heart broke as I watched him. Remembering what Emmett said, I noticed how Edward wouldn't even look at me. His eyes stayed focused on his hands. I also noticed how red and puffy they were. He looked like I always did after I cried over Jake, and it hurt me even more to know I'd done the same thing to him.

He was quiet as he immersed a small piece of gauze into the misty water and let it rest on my knee as he grabbed a large bandage out of the first aid kit.

"I'm sorry for this," he said as he ripped the hole in my pants, making it a little bigger. "I need more room to put this on."

Pulling back the cover over the adhesive, he adjusted the bandage into place, pressing around the edges to make sure it stayed. He repeated the process with my other leg, and when he was done, he helped me sit up before he started to clean up.

"Thanks," I said, and he mumbled a response.

He still hadn't looked at me, and I really wanted him to. How else would he know I meant every word I was about to say to him?

"Edward," I said, touching his shoulder.

He jerked away from me and continued putting things away.

"Edward," I tried again.

"Why are you here, Bella?" he asked quietly.

"Emmett's wrong," I said, instead of answering his question. "I don't want to hurt you. I know I already have, and you have every right to hate me for it, but I have to say I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for all of it, Edward. All the stories, the lies…everything got so out of control, and it was my fault. Things shouldn't have been that way between us."

As soon as I started, the floodgates opened. I wanted to rush through everything, hoping he would hear me out.

"I thought about you so much after the day we met, and I was so excited when I saw you sitting at our table that first day. I wanted to hold onto you, know that it wasn't just another dream, and you were really there with me. Then Jessica came up and said she'd been looking for you. After hearing her talk about the things you did with her, I was hurt. I thought you liked me, but you were with her. I know what she's like, and I hated you for doing that. It just made me feel like I wasn't good enough for you either."

"Don't ever say that." He sounded angry. "Jake is an asshole, and I hate him for making you feel that way."

He moved closer to me, grabbing one of my hands and finally meeting my eyes.

"You were always too good for him, Bella. And I know what he told you about me, but I swear to you, I never had sex with Jessica, or anyone else for that matter. I'll admit I kissed her, but that was only after I saw you with Jake."

"Wait a minute. I didn't even know you were here until we got back to school. How…no, when did you see me?" I asked.

He hung his head again. "The first night I got here. Out of all the places we could have stopped for gas. I was buying my mom a bottle of water when I saw you. I wanted to run across the street and tell you I was here, but I saw Jake. You were sitting on the hood of a car, hugging him, and then he kissed you. And then you both looked at me and laughed. It was like you were mocking me or something. I knew you didn't care about me. That you hadn't thought about me after I left, not like I did."

The words poured out of him, and it took me a minute to sort through everything he was saying.

"You were all I thought about while I was gone. Jasper told me you had a boyfriend, and I had hoped something would happen to break you up before I got here." He looked up at me again. "I'm sorry. I know that sounds bad, but I wanted you to be with me…not him."

"I did think about you…all the time. I dreamed about you," I said.

My mind finally caught up with his words.

"Wait. I think I remember that night. Jake mentioned something about the car across the street. I barely glanced at it. I didn't see you."

I thought back to that night, trying to picture it. Then it hit me.

"No, I did see you. I looked back before we went inside. I knew it was you, but when I called Rose later and told her that I saw you, she told me it was impossible. She told me I had to forget you. That you lived in California, and you weren't coming back. I knew she was right, and I was never going to see you again." A tear rolled down my cheek. "It hurt me so much to do it, but I let you go that night."

"After seeing you with him, I tried to do the same thing," he said. "In my head, I said goodbye to you, but my heart never let go."

Edward finally pushed off the floor and sat on the couch next to me. Taking a deep breath, he kept talking.

"Everything started the day after we moved in. Jessica introduced herself to us right away and started hanging around a lot. Then she invited us to a New Year's Eve party. She said she wanted to introduce us to some of the kids from school. At first, I was hoping you'd be there, but then I was really hoping you wouldn't be."

"Why?" I asked, trying to keep the disappointment out of my voice.

"Because I thought if you were there, you would have been there with Jake. I wouldn't have been able to be in the same room with the two of you." He exhaled. "Emmett told me I should just get you alone and tell you I wanted to be with you, but I couldn't do that."

"Why not?" I asked again.

"Bella, I saw you that night, and you looked so happy to be with him. I couldn't ruin that. I couldn't put you in a position where you would have to choose. It wouldn't have been fair to you." He shrugged. "Besides, I had no idea you would even remember me, and I was the new kid, so I figured you would have chosen him anyway. It was better for me to just forget everything and let you go. That was the only reason I kissed Jessica that night. You were unavailable and I thought she was pretty."

My eyes dropped to the couch between us when he said that.

"Please don't do that," he said, lifting my face back to his.

"Do what?" I choked out.

"Don't hide from me. Not now." He held one of my hands. "I promised you the truth, Bella, and I'm going to give you that, but it's not going be what you think it is."

"What does that even mean?"

"You've heard a lot of things about me that just aren't true. A few minutes ago, you even said you heard Jessica talking about what we did together. I don't know what she said about me, but whatever it was, I can tell you it was a lie. The night of the party, we _were_ kissing. She took me into one of the back rooms with her…"

My free hand clenched into a fist, fingernails digging into my skin. I know I wanted the truth, but I didn't really need to hear this.

"…but nothing happened while we were in there." He gave a little tug on my hand. "Now, I know what you're thinking. Hell, it's probably what everyone at that party was thinking, considering I was in there with Jessica of all people. But I couldn't do anything with her. Besides the fact that my mom would kill me if she ever found out..."

I laughed a little at that. Who really thinks of their mom while they're making out with a girl?

"…I was still thinking of you. I knew I didn't have a chance with you anymore, so there was technically nothing stopping me from being with her." His brow furrowed. "It just felt wrong to me, though, kissing her while I was thinking of you.

"Even after I pulled away from her, she still tried to talk me into staying with her that night, like I was her date, but I couldn't do that either. I left her in that room and went to find Emmett. I know I should have said something when the guys he was talking to started making jokes about us 'getting it on' in the back room, but I didn't. I just figured 'guys will be guys' so I let them talk. If I would've known about her reputation, then I wouldn't have let it go."

"Seriously?" I asked, not quite believing the last part. "Do you just think all fifteen year old girls are that into sex?"

"Honestly, I wouldn't know," he said sheepishly.

"Come on, Edward."

"Believe it or not, Bella," he cut me off, "I don't have that much experience with girls. I only had one girlfriend in California, but she and I were so focused on sports and stuff that we really didn't see much of each other. And if you really want to know, I broke up with her after I met you."

I tried to ignore how happy it made me to hear those words. I still had more questions.

"Okay, so you didn't do anything with Jessica at the party, but what about after? I had to sit there and listen to her talk – in great detail – for an hour about the two of you together. You're telling me she made it all up?"

"Yes," he said simply. "She wanted more but, like I said, I just couldn't. I didn't want her that way. Then after we got back to school, and Jasper told me about her and her reputation, I couldn't believe I considered even kissing her in the first place. That's when I realized why you ran away from me that day. I wanted to tell you that you were wrong. I tried to, but you kept pushing me away."

"I was hurt," I said, dropping my eyes again.

"I know," he said, letting go of my hand. "But what I couldn't understand was why. Why wouldn't you just ask me? You assumed you were right. No matter what anyone tried to tell you, you were so determined to believe the worst of me. Do you have any idea how that made me feel?"

Looking back up at him, the pain was back in his face and tears came back to his eyes. Seeing his face, a lump settled in my throat, and I couldn't answer.

"I was happy back in California. When my parents told us about the possibility of moving, I hated them for it. I didn't want to come here, but my dad dragged us here anyway. All I wanted to do was go back home, but that was before I ran into you. I thought you were beautiful, and when we were together later during that game, when I had you in my arms, it was like I couldn't let you go.

"When I had to, I couldn't wait to get back here. Not a day went by that I didn't think about you. When my dad told us he got the job and we were moving here, I literally prayed for you to remember me. I didn't think you would, but then, as I was sitting in the cafeteria, I heard you say my name.

"I can't even describe the feelings that came over me, and I couldn't stop myself. I had to have you in my arms again. And just like before, I didn't want to let you go, but I knew I had to. You had a boyfriend, and I wasn't going to interfere with that.

"After we started to talk, Jessica came up and you took off. I tried to follow you to find out what was wrong, but I had no clue where you went. I was forced to wait for you to come back. But when you did, and I tried to talk to you, you walked away."

He stood up from the couch, putting the distance of the room between us.

"You said goodbye, and you walked away from me, Bella, without another word. Jasper had to be the one to explain everything to me. And when I realized what you thought I did, I tried to tell you the truth, so many times, but you wouldn't listen to me."

He raised his voice as I watched anger take over his face. He was pissed, and he had every right to be.

"But, Edward, after everything with Jake…" I tried to explain but he cut me off.

"Don't you dare try to use Jake as an excuse for this," he snapped at me. "I know he hurt you, but you made your own choices without giving me the chance to explain my side of things. You want me to believe that you thought about me, may have even cared about me, yet you _chose_ to believe Jessica, Jake, and whoever else opened their mouth about me rather than finding out the truth. Hell," he threw up his hands in exasperation, "forget about me. You wouldn't even listen to your own friends when they tried to tell you the truth. Why, Bella? Explain that one to me please, because I just don't get it."

I didn't know what to say. For months, Alice and Rosalie both begged me to listen, and I refused. The only one I cared to listen to was Jake, and I really should have known better.

Edward's eyebrows rose as he waited for an answer.

I couldn't look at him as I explained. "You don't know how much Jake has hurt me in the past few years," I said quietly. "It may be just an excuse to you, but when I thought of you with Jessica, the first thing that came to my mind was Jake."

"How does that even make any sense, Bella?"

"Everything Jake's done, I allowed it to happen," I admitted. "He would walk away from me and go to Leah over and over again, and I kept allowing him back in. I kept handing him my heart to break whenever he felt like it. I was stupid, I admit that, but then you came along.

"The day we met, I thought he was going to do it again. That's why you saw me crying. I was so embarrassed you saw me that way, and I tried to get away from you, but you wouldn't let me. As I stood there, holding onto you, I can honestly say Jake was the furthest thing from my mind."

I shifted a little, wincing when the movement sent a pain through my knees. Once I was settled, I continued.

"The same thing happened on your first day at school. When you jumped out of your chair and hugged me, the whole room went away. I don't know what happened, but it was as if you and I were the only ones there, no one else mattered. Then just the sound of Jessica's voice shattered that…world we were in, or at least, the one I was in." I took a slow breath. "I had just spent all of fourth period listening to her brag about how she already hooked up with the new kid, talking about how easy he was to get. She just had to wiggle her ass a few times."

I let out a humorless laugh. "I remember feeling sorry for the poor kid who got stuck with her. He obviously had no idea what he was in for. When I realized she was talking about you, it really broke my heart. I couldn't believe the only other guy I'd ever liked could stoop so low as to be with Jessica."

"But I didn't do anything with her, Bella," he interrupted.

"I didn't know that at the time. All I knew was what I heard her say about the two of you, and it hurt me so much that I couldn't even look at you. There was no way I could talk to you. So I did the one thing I could to protect myself from another boy like Jacob. I said goodbye to you…again, only this time, saying it to your face, it crushed me."

My arms wrapped around my stomach and my eyes pinched closed, trying to keep the tears from falling. I felt the couch dip next to me as Edward moved back to my side.

"I can understand you were hurt, Bella." His voice lost the anger. "But Alice and Rose both tried to tell you that nothing happened; that I could never do that. Why wouldn't you listen? They're your best friends, Bella. Did you think they would lie to you?"

"It wasn't like that." I turned to face him. "Every word out of Jessica's mouth made it hurt worse every single day. I couldn't be around you, couldn't look at you, and I couldn't let the girls talk about you, because it felt like I couldn't breathe every time I heard your name."

Unable to look at him any longer, my gaze shifted back to the floor.

"Then you showed up at my meet that day and cheered me on like I mattered to you. After my race, I saw the look in your eyes. I let myself believe that you cared about me. You wouldn't have been there otherwise, right?"

I paused for a second, taking a deep breath. Edward laid a hand on my back, his fingers moving in small circles. It was such a simple touch, light and gentle, but gave me hope that we could work this out.

"I wanted to find you so we could talk, but I found Jacob instead. He was in so much pain after what you did to him, but he was only concerned about me, telling me what you really wanted from me and how he tried to protect me from that."

"What a bunch of bullshit!"

His voice rose in anger again as he started pacing the room.

"And you bought that shit, didn't you?" he yelled. "Wait. What the fuck am I thinking? Of course you did. Nothing anyone said would have made a difference. As long as Jacob said it was true, then it must have been, right?"

"That's not fair," I shouted back.

"Then what is, Bella?" His cold eyes landed on me. "You took every word he ever said and used it against me without a second thought. You never even considered the fact that he was lying."

"But it wasn't just him," I argued. "Jessica…"

"Oh right, Jessica _had _to have her say, too. Sorry, I forgot," he said sarcastically. "As long as you have Jessica and Jake's word on everything, I guess you're all set, right?"

He was back to pacing again. I was just about to say something when he turned on me again.

"Oh wait, weren't you the one who told me, not even ten minutes ago, that you didn't trust Jake as much as you thought you should? You were the one who thought he was already cheating on you, am I right? Yeah, his word is the first one you should believe."

I opened my mouth to speak but closed it again when he continued.

"And I'm sure, in your long-standing friendship with Jessica, she's never once lied to you, right? I'm sure she's always given you such great advice. No wait," he tapped his fingers to his forehead, "I keep forgetting…you don't even like the bitch. Maybe you were just trying to make her feel better by taking her word on everything."

"You don't have to be a complete asshole about it," I shouted.

"Oh, I'm sorry." His hand covered his heart. "Should I try to be more like you? You know, you are the very model of sweet and loving behavior. Maybe I should start treating you the same way you've treated me for the last year. That should solve all our problems."

"Fuck you, Edward."

"Sorry, Bella, I'm not that kind of guy."

He turned his back on me and tears filled my eyes. It really was too late. I'd lost him before I even had him, and it was my fault. It was time to leave. I didn't belong there anymore.

I stood up, wanting to make my escape before he turned back around, but the stabbing pain in both of my knees sent me crashing to the ground. Without thinking, I threw my hands out to catch myself and cried out the second my left hand hit the ground, sending the pain from my left shoulder through my whole body.

"Bella!"

Edward was by my side in a second, one arm across my back as his other was caressing my hurt shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he whispered over and over.

Tears that had nothing to do with the physical pain fell from my eyes as I lay on the floor. Before long, Edward was helping me to sit against the couch and immediately began checking the bandages on my knees.

He shook his head as he pulled the bandage off my left knee and saw the blood on the gauze. Reaching to grab the bowl and first aid kit still sitting on the coffee table, Edward put another piece of gauze soaked in that clouded solution on my knee before taking another bandage from the first aid kit, covering the scrapes with it.

"I thought you said it would feel better," I said as he repeated the process with my right knee.

He shrugged. "Guess I'm not as good a doctor as my dad, huh?" He let out a small, humorless laugh.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, and I watched as he repacked the first aid kit, placing it and the bowl back on the table. When he turned back to me, I grabbed his hand. My eyes were focused on our joined hands, too afraid to look up and see the anger that was in his eyes before I fell.

"I've hurt you so much," I said sadly. "How could you want anything to do with me after everything I've done? Why would you even bother?"

"Jasper warned me all along to be careful." His voice was just as quiet as mine.

My eyes snapped up, noticing his eyes were also focused on our hands. I wanted to ask him what Jasper had said, but he spoke again before I could.

"He kept telling me not to get my hopes up. But I knew…"

His sentence trailed off. I wanted to ask him to finish, but I didn't want to ruin this calm between us. Looking back down at our hands, I watched as he slowly laced his fingers with mine.

"No, I hoped," he finally continued, "that if you knew the truth, you wouldn't hate me and things could be different."

"I can't say I would have listened," I said.

"No you wouldn't have. You weren't ready to hear it." His grip tightened slightly. "If I would have told you what that fight was really about, and what I knew about Jake, you would have called me a liar and accused me of trying to break the two of you up. I would have ruined anything that could have ever been between us."

"You can tell me now," I urged. I needed to hear the whole truth.

I looked up, wanting to see his face as he explained. He still wouldn't meet my eyes, but I guessed it might be better that way.

"Jake came after me that day." Edward took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "After I saw you race, Emmett texted me to let me know he was outside waiting for me. I didn't want to leave, but I had to. Jake followed me out, asking me what I was doing there. He had told me he'd seen me watching you but there was nothing I could ever do about it. He would never let you get close to me. I told him it was your choice, and you _would_ choose me once I told you the truth...that he really didn't want you."

I gasped. I knew it was true now, but to hear that Edward knew it, even so long ago, surprised me.

"I'm sorry. I know that has to be hard to hear. I lied to him, though." His grip tightened again, and the fingers on his other hand caressed my arm as he continued. "I didn't know for sure back then, but I'd seen the way Jake and Leah would look at each other. I was sure something was going on, so I lied and told him he wasn't quite as good at sneaking around as he thought. He wouldn't admit it, of course, but the look on his face answered for him."

"He told me it started on Valentine's Day," I said absently. After a second to think, I ripped my hand from Edward's and asked, "Are you telling me it was before that?"

Stunned by my quick move, he finally looked at me.

"I honestly don't know. I didn't have any real proof that day, just what I thought was the truth." His gaze shifted back to his now empty hands. "He already knew I had my eye on you, so I told him that he'd seen you looking at me, too, and that he needed to be worried. I told him once you knew what was going on, you'd come to me." He brought his eyes back to mine. "I know it was wrong to taunt him like that, and I'm sorry, but I couldn't help myself. I knew it was all a lie, but he didn't. That's why he hit me.

"We fought, and each of us got in some good hits, but I finally got him down. You have to know, I don't like to fight, but I was so angry by then, I just kept hitting him. I told him I was going to tell you everything, and I wasn't going to let him hurt you anymore. And I would have, but when we got back to school on Monday, and I ran into you in the hallway, you went off on me and ran away. I lost my chance again, because you never spoke to me after that."

"I never should have believed him," I said absently. "He told me so many things about you, and it was so hard not to believe it, especially with Jessica around. The day I ran away from you made it so much worse."

"How could it get worse?" he asked.

"I freaked out when you said you wanted to be alone with me," I admitted. "I was so upset, I went and hid out in one of the bathrooms for a while. Jessica and Lauren happened to come in, talking about how stupid I was for turning you down. Then Lauren asked why you would want me anyway when the two of you were just together."

"She said what!"

I flinched as the anger returned to his voice. I didn't want to upset him again, but I knew I had to tell him.

"She said you were together all night the Friday before my meet." I shook my head. "I lost it when I heard that. Hearing that you could be with her one night and then come to see me the next day made everything Jake ever said to me sound like the truth."

"That bitch!" he growled.

"You weren't with her?" I asked hesitantly.

"No, I was," he said quickly, "but it was just to go shopping. She had asked me if I would go to the mall with her so she could pick up something for Jessica's birthday. I didn't know her well, but I felt bad turning her down. So to be nice, I said okay." He rolled his eyes. "She annoyed the hell out of me all night. I couldn't get her to stop talking, and I was so glad when I finally got away from her."

I laughed a little. "That sounds like Lauren, all right."

"I couldn't get rid of her after that. She and Jessica were everywhere. It was like they were stalking me or something. Do you know they even showed up one night while I was at the movies with my parents? They trapped me at the concession stand, and it took Emmett coming to get me before I could get away from them."

The guilt hit me instantly as I remembered seeing him that night.

"I saw you there that night."

"You did?" He looked at me, confused, and shook his head. "I didn't see you there."

"I was there to watch a movie we were going to review for the paper. I saw you with them, and my mind went to something else Jake told me." His body tensed up as he waited for me to explain. "He had said that Jessica was too easy for you, and you wanted me because you saw me as more of a challenge. That night, I figured you got a little of the challenge you were looking for by trying to be with them both."

"God," he said as a hand grabbed a fistful of his hair, "we never stood a chance, did we?"

"Between Jake, all the girls, my stupidity, and my stubbornness, there was no way we could." I took a deep breath and added, "But you never gave up on me. You believed in me when I didn't deserve it, and if it weren't for your letters, Edward, I wouldn't be here right now. You found a way to tell me how you felt when I didn't want to listen."

He reached down to hold my hand again, and his eyes locked on mine.

"From the moment I saw you, I only wanted you, Bella. I'll admit there were times when I wanted to give up, but no one would let me; not Alice, Rose, or even my parents would allow me to quit."

"Oh God," I groaned, hiding my face. "Your parents know about all of this?"

"It was kind of hard to hide it from them. They saw how upset and depressed I always was. It's hard to keep a secret in this house. I don't regret telling them, though, because they gave me some great advice."

"Ugh…they must hate me right now," I mumbled into my hands.

I heard a soft laugh and moved my hands to glare at him.

"It's not funny. All of this has been for nothing. They'd never let you be with someone like me. I mean, look at the way Emmett reacted already, and he's just your brother. Your mom has to hate me so much more than that."

"I'm sorry about that." Emmett's voice made me jump. "But I refuse to sit by and watch you…"

"What do you want, Em?" Edward's icy tone cut him off.

"Mom called. They'll be home in about half an hour." He threw a set of keys onto the couch. "You better drive Bella home."

He walked away without another word. Since they'd moved here, I'd never really gotten to know Emmett. Now, it seemed like whatever friendship we could have had was ruined.

"Let me put this stuff away, and I'll drive you home."

I nodded, wanting to get as far away from his house as possible before his mom got home. After Edward admitted to being depressed a lot in the past year, I could only imagine what she thought of me right now. And I didn't see his dad liking me any better than her, either. I had to leave before they caught me there.

I had managed to stand while Edward was putting things away, and he helped me with my coat after he came back into the room. The pain in my knees made my steps slow and cautious as he walked me to the car, and once I was settled, he slipped into the driver's seat and started the engine.

The conversation on the drive home was much lighter than it had been over the past couple of hours. Edward asked me about swimming and working at the paper, but that reminded me of the situation my dad was in, and I didn't want to talk about it.

When he pulled up in front of my house, I didn't want to get out. He hesitated for a second before he got out, rushing to my side to open my door for me. He walked me to my door, and I was tempted to ask him to come in so we could talk more, but I knew he had to get home.

"I wish we had more time," he said, echoing my thoughts.

"Me too," I agreed. "I feel like now that your whole family hates me, this is it. I won't have another chance."

Edward took my hand. "Bella, look at me."

I shook my head, not wanting him to see the tears that filled my eyes at the thought of losing him now.

"My mom couldn't hate anyone if she tried…especially you."

That got my attention, and my head snapped up to see his face.

"How could she…?"

"Do you want to know what she said to me before she left the house today?" he asked, cutting me off.

I nodded, and Edward blushed a little.

"She looked me right in the eye and said, 'Help her to see who you really are. Once she does, you'll get everything you've ever wanted.'"

I couldn't believe it. What mother wouldn't have some resentment toward a girl who treated her son the way I had treated Edward?

"She's encouraged me the whole way. I wouldn't have made it this far without her." He laid a hand on my cheek. "I don't want this to be the end, Bella. Give me a chance and let me prove to you that everything I've told you is true."

I shook my head and pulled his hand away from my face, holding it in mine. He had that backwards.

"No, Edward. I'm the one who should be begging for chances," I told him. "A chance to make up for everything I've put you through. A chance to show you that you didn't wait for nothing. A chance to show you how much I care about the guy whose beautiful words touched my heart."

I was in his arms the instant the last word left my mouth. My arms were quick to wrap around his waist, holding him tight.

"I guess we both have things to make up for." Leaning back slightly to look me in the eye, he said, "But if we can talk, and I mean really talk like we did today, and not let misunderstandings or lies get in our way again, then we can be great friends, Bella."

_Friends? He only wants to be friends?_

"I can always hope for more one day, but it's not something we should rush into. Not with the past we have."

"I think that's smart," I said, relieved I still had a chance.

His hands slid down my arms to grab my hands again.

"I better get home, but we'll talk, okay?"

"Okay."

He let me go and stepped back so I could open the door. He said goodbye and walked to his car. I was just about to close the door behind me when he called.

"Bella."

"Yeah," I said as I stopped the door from closing.

"Can I call you sometime?" he asked.

My smile showed my excitement at his question.

"Yes," I answered quickly. "Come here and I'll give you my number."

"That's okay. I already have it." His smile was the biggest I'd ever seen cross his face. "I've had it for a long time."

With a wink, he ducked into the car, leaving me staring after him as he drove away.

* * *

**God…finally…a whole conversation. They got so much out in the open. They may not have gone over every detail, but this is a start. Now, they have a chance to really get to know each other and, like Edward said, maybe hope for more one day.**

**Thanks for sticking with me and remember, leave me a little something to tell me what you think. Until next time…much love to you - D**


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